The Stars Are Loud Tonight
by cmdevil131
Summary: Can a young quarian engineer, who has never known war, and a human man, who has seen more than most, find love among the stars? A trilogy-spanning story of M!Shep and Tali'Zorah that will grow farther from canon as it gets longer. Rated M for violence, language, and sexual content (eventually). Updated weekly.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Thank you for reading. This fic is rated "M" for language, violence, and sexual content, so be forewarned. Updates will be every Sunday. Comments, critiques, reviews, and PMs are always welcome. Bioware owns the Mass Effect universe. The amazing cover art is called "Mass Effect - Tali and Shepard" and is used courtesy of **WithinSixMonths** over at deviantART. I highly recommend viewing his entire portfolio, and taking a look at the full-size image. Additionally, some of the ideas for quarian behavior/traditions that are used in this story are based on the work done by the incomparable **Calinstel**, whose work you can enjoy on this very site. I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 1

The buzzing and beeping of his omni-tool brought Commander Adalrico "Spike" Shepard out of a light, but restful, sleep. As he checked the time before getting out of bed, he struggled to wake up. _Only priority messages from the Alliance activate my omni-tool alert. Did something happen?_ He padded softly over to his private terminal and input his name and password. To his surprise, a new message simply titled "Deployment Instructions" was blinking insistently at him.

_I'm supposed to be on leave for another . . . 44 hours or so. Then I'm supposed to be on Arcturus for another week, at least, while the Brass figures out what to do with me._

In the darkened room, the only light came from the glowing terminal in front of the Commander. In its dim light, Shepard's toned upper body tightened as he read the message from Alliance HQ, and a scowl crawled onto his face.

_Damn it all!_ Shepard was pissed off at the cancellation of his leave. _They want me at docking bay G3 at 0700 tomorrow. Shit, I mean today. And I need to be ready for a two-week "assignment?" Full armor and weapons? What do they think I'm gonna do, show up in my civvies and flipflops, looking for the bar?_

"Lights on." Shepard said aloud. The lights flashed on, illuminating the spartan room. The only signs that someone lived there were the rumpled bed sheets and the glowing holo of a smiling blonde girl sitting on the desk. Shepard smiled as he looked at the holo, and then suddenly grimaced.

_Crap, Beth's gonna be so pissed. We were supposed to have dinner and drinks tonight, then spend some time catching up. We haven't seen each other in, what, 2 months? It doesn't really seem that long. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Maybe I should ask her. No, that would be colossally stupid. But maybe she'll think it's romantic. No. Definitely not romantic. Still something to think about, though. No wonder I don't like adult relationships. So much effort involved._ Shaking his head at the complexities of adult life, Shepard sat down to type out a quick message.

"Beth,

I'm not going to be able to make it to dinner tonight. Or tomorrow night, for that matter. My leave got canceled. I don't know why, and I'm not sure when I'll get back. I'm really sorry, hon. I know it's been a while since we've seen each other, and I'm looking forward to seeing you again. I'll make it up to you, next leave.

Be good,

Spike"

Reading the message over once more, Shepard hit send, and then headed to the bathroom to see if a hot shower would wake him up. _Shower, shave, then throw my bathroom stuff in my bag. Fuck, I haven't even unpacked everything from my last assignment yet. At least I don't have to worry about forgetting anything._ Sighing softly, Shepard turned on the water in the shower, stripped off his shorts, and hopped in.

* * *

A little before 0700, Shepard exited the docking bay elevator at the lowest level, with his bag hung securely on his shoulders. As he took in his surroundings with the steady eye of an Alliance-trained Infiltrator, he noticed that the docking bay doors all said "F," instead of the necessary "G." "Shit," Shepard grumbled to himself, "'G' comes after 'F,' if I learned my alphabet right. So where are all the fucking docking bays?" Looking around for help, he noticed an Alliance marine, standing guard at the other end of the hallway. _Probably some poor sap who pissed off the wrong person and gets an extra shift of ultra-exciting hallway-watching duty. Maybe he knows where the hell all the "G" docks are._

Shepard began to make his way towards the marine. As he neared the end of the hallway, however, the marine suddenly stiffened and pulled the assault rifle off his back and slid it out to its full size. Suddenly, the N7 soldier knew that all was not right on the "F" dock. _That isn't an Alliance standard-issue AR. He should be using a Kedar Lancer. But that looks like a Kassa Breaker. What is he really doing here?_

Approaching the tense marine, Shepard put his hands out, palms facing towards the man with the gun, in an attempt to get some information, not shot. "Hey there soldier, I'm not here to cause trouble. I was just wondering if you could help me out with something."

"What?" The marine asked, while he subtly pointed his gun at Shepard's feet.

"I'm looking for the 'G' docks. Can you tell me where they are?"

"No such thing," the guard scowled, "so you should move along." His AR was now pointed at Shepard's waist, trying to encourage the other man to walk away.

"See, I don't think that's right." Shepard responded, noticing the climbing barrel of the weapon, as well as the Lance Corporal insignia on the other man's shirt. "I have orders from Alliance HQ telling me to report to docking bay G3 by 0700. I'm just trying to get there on time."

The face of the marine guarding the door tightened, if possible, even more. "Well if there were such a place, your 'orders' should tell you who to report to."

Shepard thought back to the contents of the message.

"Commander Adalrico Shepard,

You are hereby ordered to report to docking bay G3 by 0700 Zulu on Jan 12, 2183 for a two-week deployment. Failure to arrive at or before the designated time, or without all armor and firearms, will be considered a dereliction of duty, for which you may be court-martialed and dishonorably discharged.

Systems Alliance High Command"

"Nope." Shepard said with a grin. "Just said to be at G3 by 0700. So where is it?"

"There are no 'G' docks on Arcturus, sir. I believe you are mistaken. Please leave." At this, the marine poked the tip of his rifle towards Shepard, hoping, no doubt, to scare the other man away.

This was exactly the wrong thing to do. Shepard was in no mood to play games with a glorified bouncer. He'd had a short night of sleep, he'd had to cancel his weekend with his girlfriend, and he really, **really** didn't like little people trying to intimidate him with guns. And now, the marine's rifle was within Shepard's reach.

Like lightning made corporeal, he grabbed the top of the gun, forcing the barrel down and away from his body. A quick slide step closer to other man brought the marine's back leg into range of Shepard's front foot. Snapping out with the toe of his boot, Shepard struck the corporal in the back of his left knee, buckling it. As the marine started to sink downward, Shepard grabbed the back of the man's shoulder and pushed down, forcing more weight onto the collapsing left leg. The marine suddenly lost his ability to stay upright. At the marine went to the ground, Shepard removed the assault rifle from the corporal's right hand, and took one step back, aiming his new gun squarely at the back of the prostrate marine's head. The attack happened with such speed and violence, the armed guard never had a chance to pull the trigger or call for help.

"Don't move." Shepard said in a low, but clear, voice. A separate part of his mind noticed the balance of the Breaker in his hands. _This isn't a bad gun, for an assault rifle. I might not be giving this back to him after he gets up. Or ever, actually._ "Now, where is docking bay G3? And if you lie to me again, I'll start putting bullets into your limbs, one by one." A hint of menace had crept into the Commander's voice by the end of this statement.

"Please don't shoot me!" The man on the ground pled.

"Then answer my question."

"Go through the door I was guarding and take the stairs down. You'll find another deck. That's 'G' deck. Just look for 'G3,' it'll be right there. Just please don't shoot me."

Looking at the wall, Shepard couldn't see the door at first. Then, he noticed a small access pad built into the wall, and right next to it, he could just make out a faint line. _Ah hah! Score one for Detective Shepard. I bet the kid was standing in front of it to keep it hidden from view._ "There's an access pad here, Lance Corporal. How am I supposed to access the door?"

"The code's 724620."

"Thank you." Keeping his eyes on the marine laying on the floor, Shepard slowly moved around him, staying out of reach of his legs and arms at all times. Looking quickly away, Shepard typed in the code then swiveled his glance back to the downed marine. The marine hadn't moved. _Huh. Either I got him pretty good, or he's scared shitless of me._ "You okay, son?"

"Yes, sir."

_Okay then. Definitely scared shitless._ "Well, it was nice talking to you, Lance Corporal . . . " Shepard waited for the young man to fill in his name.

"Tomay, sir. Brad Tomay."

"Thanks again, Brad. By the way, don't feel too bad about getting put on your ass. You could be dead."

Brad looked up at the man standing over him, dismay written all over his youthful visage.

"Oh, I'm not going to kill you. But I could have." Shepard shot him a wink as he turned around and walked through the door.

Behind him, the door whooshed closed. As Brad lay on the cold floor, he suddenly felt lucky to be alive.

As the door closed behind him, Shepard started descending the long staircase ahead. The way was lit periodically by fluorescent lights set into the ceiling, but those were few and far between. _This doesn't look like any part of Arcturus that I've ever seen. Looks more like something out of one of the old horror vids, where everybody dies. At least if any zombies come out of the darkness, I'll be ready for them. I'd love to see what this Breaker does to an unarmored zombie. I bet I could remove the head __**and**__ destroy the brain in one shot._ Smirking to himself, Shepard picked up his pace.

As he arrived at a corner, Shepard stopped and peeked carefully around the wall. _Nobody in the immediate vicinity, but it looks like a well-lighted area at the bottom of the stairs. I think I hear voices, and maybe footsteps, too. I may have just found the enigmatic "G" docks. Time to go find out._

Striding confidently down the remaining steps, he suddenly found himself in the doorway of a short, broad, hallway. Looking around, he saw five docking bays. Numbers 1, 3, and 5 were on the left side of the hallway, and numbers 2 and 4 were on the right. Most of the activity that he had heard earlier seemed to be coming from G3. There were two navy shipmen standing guard at the entrance to the docking bay, and technicians, soldiers, and supply staff were going in and out at a steady pace. There was only one other person in the hallway who didn't seem to be participating in the hustle and bustle of docking bay 3, and that was a lone naval officer standing casually outside the entrance to G4.

Shepard set his new AR against his soldier and strolled into the lighted area, heading directly for G3. Moving as if he didn't have a care in the world, but carefully taking note of everything of possible importance, Shepard noticed that the two shipmen on guard were also clutching Kassa weapons. _Is that actually an Armageddon? I don't usually use shotguns, but I wouldn't mind having one of those to go with my shiny new Breaker. Too bad they're still only carrying Kedar Kessler pistols. I've heard good things about Kassa's new pistols. What were they called? Rakers? Raikous? No, that's the new Ariake pistol. Razers! That's what they were. Yeah, I'd take these two down in a heartbeat to get my hands on a new Razer. My Haliat Stiletto isn't bad, but the Razer is supposed to be one of the best pistols in the galaxy. Even if they did have a Razer, I probably shouldn't pick a fight just to get my hands on some new weapons. Even really, really nice ones._ Sighing at his decision not to start trouble, Shepard moved to walk between the two guards.

The two men stepped closer together, blocking Shepard's path. "Identification please, sir." The officer on the left asked.

"Certainly." Shepard answered with a smile. He reached one hand over to his omni-tool, and pulled up his ident holo.

"Commander Shepard . . ." The shipman trailed off as he looked down at his own omni-tool. "I'm sorry, sir, but I don't have you on my access list." Both squids started sizing Shepard up, trying to determine if he was going to cause a problem.

_God damn it!_ Shepard raged internally, while keeping his face impassive. _I'm really getting sick and tired of being jerked around by doormen. Maybe I'll rethink my earlier decision not to pick a fight._ Instead of punching the nearest man and taking his shotgun, Shepard tried diplomacy. "Maybe you could get the XO out here. My orders came in early this morning, so you may not have been notified of my addition to the crew."

"Sir, we're unable to do that. There is no XO aboard."

_No XO? _Shepard was officially confused. _What kind of ship doesn't have an XO? What the hell is the Alliance trying to pull? Every ship needs an XO, or the Captain would go out of his mind._ Bringing his attention back to the shipmen in front of him, he tried another approach. "If there's no XO aboard the ship, why don't you try contacting the Captain? I'm sure Alliance HQ notified him of my arrival."

"Why would the Captain be notified about you? Alliance HQ doesn't bother the Captain to tell him he's getting another officer. He's got plenty already."

_Alright, now these guys are really pissing me off. These are the douchebags that give the navy a bad name. Just because you think you're hot shit, doesn't mean you are. They think they're soooo fucking superior just because they get to stand outside a door and check ids. Apparently they don't realize that that means the Alliance thinks they're useless. Maybe I should tell them._ Grinning wickedly, Shepard leaned his head down, close to their ears. "You do realize that the both of you got this assignment because you're not worth the resources it would take to put you on a ship, right? And that whatever your job may be, getting in the way of an N7 operative is the surest way to significantly shorten your life expectancy. His words made the air around the two officers drop an immediate 30 degrees. Neither of them failed to notice the implied threat: fail to call the captain, and you'll be relieved of duty if you're lucky, your life if you're not.

"Oh my god . . ." The shipman who hadn't yet spoken trailed off as shock, desperation, and recognition warred for control of his face. "You're **the** Commander Shepard? The Hero of the Skyllian Blitz? The Star of Terra winner?" His blood left his face as Shepard turned his cold gray eyes on him. All coherent thought vacated the naval officer's head, leaving behind only panic and fear playing a crippling game of tag.

"You don't **win** the Star of Terra." Shepard's tone was as cold and as hard as steel. "War is not a game, sailor."

The two naval officers swallowed hard, and looked down at their feet. "Let me call the Captain, sir." The one on the left finally muttered.

Shepard took a step back and nodded. "Good idea." He remained rooted to that spot, his eyes never leaving the two men in front of him, until the door they were guarding opened up and revealed Captain David Anderson.

"Sir." Shepard snapped to attention and proffered a formal salute.

"Good to see you again, Commander." Anderson replied with a casual salute of his own. "Walk with me." He said as he turned and headed back down the walkway.

Nodding briefly to the two seamen, Shepard hurried to catch up with Anderson. Finally drawing even with the Captain, Shepard matched the older man's pace. "Glad to see you, too, sir. May I ask what's going on?"

"You may." Anderson replied, then remained silent.

The two men walked in silence until they reached the airlock of a ship. Stepping inside, the VI announced "Decontamination in progress," and the white light of the decontamination beam swept over both of them. When the light finally went away, the VI announced, "The commanding officer is aboard."

Anderson stepped inside the ship, and turned to the Commander. "Welcome to the Normandy, Shepard."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"She's beautiful, sir." Shepard exhaled as he took in the long, gleaming decks and the dozen or so haptic interfaces for crewmembers. Farther down the hall, he could just make out the CIC with its glowing galaxy map, where the captain would select their destinations.

"Yes she is." Anderson agreed. "She's a frigate, full name is the SSV Normandy SR-1."

"SR-1?" Shepard asked inquisitively.

"It stands for Stealth/Reconnaissance 1. The Normandy was a joint effort by both the Turian Hierarchy and the Systems Alliance, and was built in complete secrecy. Hence the difficulty you may have had in finding us." Anderson smiled at Shepard.

"Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that. . ." Shepard trailed off and stared around the ship, completely fascinated by the Normandy.

"This is Flight Lieutenant Jeff Moreau, our helmsman." Anderson said, trying to get Shepard's attention. "Who should be getting us away from the dock right about now, correct helmsman?"

"Yes sir." The pilot replied, and his hands started flying over the controls. Shepard turned back towards the cockpit. "Nice to meet you, Helmsman." He offered his hand out to the pilot.

"You too, uh, Commander." Moreau declined to shake the offered hand, instead keeping his hands busy getting the Normandy out of her berth and headed for the Mass Relay. He looked up at Shepard, then Anderson. Whatever he was silently asking was lost to the Commander, but luckily, Anderson understood.

"Commander Shepard is going to be my XO, Joker."

"Ah, right, I get it. So I have to do what you say too, huh?" The pilot asked with a grimace.

"Apparently." _What the fuck is the Alliance thinking? I don't know how to be an XO. Not to mention I'd rather burn my eyes out with a plasma torch than do paperwork. I wonder if I could request a transfer? Nah. I don't wanna leave Anderson in the lurch. He's always had my back, so I guess I owe him. But seriously, Anderson, couldn't you have told me to go kill somebody for you? Why'd you make me your X fucking O? Wait, what did he just call the pilot?_ "And did the Captain just call you 'Joker?'"

"Yes."

"I thought your name was Jeff."

"It is. Joker is a nickname somebody gave me during flight school, and it stuck."

"Huh. Why -"

"Commander Shepard." Anderson called from the CIC, interrupting whatever Shepard was going to ask next.

"Shit." Shepard whispered under his breath. _I've been the XO for all of thirty seconds and I'm already shitting the bed. This is gonna be the longest damn assignment in the history of the world._ "Bye Joker." He said a little louder, as he turned and walked quickly to the CIC.

"See ya Commander." Joker's voice floated out behind him.

* * *

After his extensive tour of the Normandy, Shepard walked up to the Normandy's bridge as she completed her jump through the mass relay. The turian Spectre who was along for the ride passed him by without a second glance. Coming to a stop just behind the pilot, he silently listened to the conversation between the pilot and a marine sitting to his right. _Anderson told me his name. Ummm, Alenko? Yep. Staff Lieutenant Kaidan Alenko. Ha. Damn, I am good._

"I hate that guy." Joker whined.

"Nihlus gave you a compliment. Sooo you hate him?" Alenko countered.

"You remember to zip up your jumpsuit on the way outta the bathroom, that's good. I just jumped us halfway across the galaxy and hit a target the size of a pinhead, so that's incredible. Besides, Spectres are trouble. I don't like having 'em on board. Call me paranoid." The pilot finished his diatribe with a shake of his head.

"You're paranoid." Kaidan agreed. "The Council helped fund this project; they have the right to send someone to keep an eye on their investment."

"Yeah, that is the official story. But only an idiot believes the official story." Joker said.

"They don't send Spectres on shakedown runs." Shepard agreed, speaking up for the first time.

"So there's more going on here than the Captain is letting on." Joker started to say. Suddenly, the intercom crackled to life.

"Joker! Status report!" Anderson's voice emanated from the console in front of Joker.

"Just cleared the mass relay, Captain." Joker responded respectfully. "Stealth systems engaged, everything looks solid."

"Good. Find a comm buoy and link us into the network. I want mission reports relayed back to Alliance brass **before** we reach Eden Prime."

"Aye aye, Captain." Joker couldn't help but continue talking, even though Shepard had a feeling Anderson had already heard all he wanted to from the pilot. "Better brace yourself, sir. I think Nihlus is headed your way."

"He's already here, Lieutenant." Anderson's reply was icy and carried a mild rebuke. Joker winced, before the Captain continued. "Tell Commander Shepard to meet me in the comm room for a debriefing."

"You get that Commander?" Joker asked the imposing figure behind him.

"He sounds angry. Something must have gone wrong with the mission." Shepard replied. _How can something have gone wrong with the mission already, though? We just made it through the mass relay, and that was perfect. This __**has**__ to be more than just a simple shakedown cruise._

"Pfft. The Captain always sounds like that when he's talking to me." Joker sounded unconcerned.

"Can't imagine why." Alenko added his two cents with a roll of his eyes.

Shaking his head, Shepard turned away and started down the hallway to the CIC and the comm room. _Joker must be a damn good pilot if Anderson puts up with that kind of behavior from him._

On his way to the comm room, Shepard passed by an animated discussion between one of the ship's marines and the chief medical officer. Before he could make it past them, the marine called out to the Commander.

"What do you think, Commander? We won't be staying on Eden Prime too long, will we? I'm itching for some real action."

"I sincerely hope you're kidding, Corporal. Your 'real action' usually ends with me patching up crew members in the infirmary." The doctor answered with a frown.

"You need to calm down, Corporal. A good soldier stays calm under fire." Shepard gently tried to reign in the exuberant young marine.

"Sorry, Commander. But this waiting's killing me. I've never been on a mission like this before. Not one with a Spectre on board!"

"Just treat this like every other assignment you've had, and everything will work out." Shepard again tried to take it easy on the corporal. _I remember when I was waiting for my first taste of "real action." I can't really blame him. All that training, and suddenly everything's so real._

"Easy for you to say, Commander, you proved yourself in the Blitz. This is my big chance. I need to show the brass what I can do!"

"You're young, Corporal. You have a long career ahead of you. Don't do something to mess it up."

"Don't worry, sir. I'm not going to screw this up."

"The Captain's waiting for me." The Commander said as a means of excusing himself. He finished the walk to the comm room still remembering the first time he went into action.

When he entered the comm room, Shepard got an unpleasant surprise. The turian Spectre, Nihlus, rather than the Captain, stood there waiting for Shepard. Nihlus turned around at the sound of the opening door. Once Shepard had closed the distance, he started to speak. "Commander Shepard. I was hoping you'd get here first. It will give us a chance to talk."

"The captain said he'd meet me here." Shepard's response was surly.

"He's on his way." Nihlus replied.

_Great. Some alone time with a turian. Just because I've started to forgive you bastards for Shanxi doesn't mean I want to put up with your bullshit. As if this day wasn't already fucked beyond repair._

"I'm interested in this world we're going to – Eden Prime. I've heard it's quite beautiful." Nihlus didn't seem to care that Shepard's attention was elsewhere.

"I'm a soldier, not some tourist on vacation." Shepard's tone was hard, and his dislike for the turian was starting to show on his face.

"It's more than just a tourist destination, isn't it Shepard?" Nihlus ignored the look on the Commander's face and continued to press. "Eden Prime is a symbol of your people, a perfect little world on the edges of your territory. Proof that humanity can not only establish colonies across the galaxy, but also protect them. But how safe is it, really?"

"Are you trying to scare me, Spectre?" Shepard growled. _Don't threaten me, you scaly bastard! I'll put you down like a rabid fucking dog if you threaten me or my people._

"Your people are still newcomers, Shepard. The galaxy can be a dangerous place. Is the Alliance truly ready for this?"

_Fuck you!_ "F-" Shepard was interrupted by the Captain entering the comm room.

* * *

Shepard put out a hand to stop Kaidan and motioned for him to take cover. _I need to take a minute to get my head back in the game. What if that corporal died because I was too busy thinking about becoming a Spectre, or trying to figure out what Nihlus is really up to? Why would a turian put my name forward for Spectre candidacy? There's no love lost between our two races. What sorta game is that damn turian playing? In other news, how are we supposed to stop a ship that's that fucking big? How can a dreadnought even make planetfall anyway? What the hell is happening on Eden Prime?_

Shepard took a few deep breaths and focused; on the heft of his sniper rifle, on the smell of the vaporized ozone from the supersonic rounds, and on the silence of the environment. _That's it. Focus on your senses, let your instincts and reflexes take over. Fighting is something you do well. Find solace in it until later._ The silence was suddenly broken by the sounds of gunfire, which grew louder as it got closer. _Alright, mental shit compartmentalized. Mount up, Spike._

Looking up, Shepard motioned to Alenko to form up on him. Shepard took point, and Alenko took up position back and to the left, with about three yards separating the two men. Shepard reached the top of a small rise and looked down towards the source of the gunfire. As his brain processed that there was a soldier running for her life from two of the flying drone things that had killed his corporal, his body was already removing his sniper rifle from his back and sinking down into a crouched shooting position. As he brought the scope to his eye, the soldier fell to the ground.

He zoomed in on the drone in front, and breathed in, preparing to fire. But before he got a chance to pull the trigger, both drones exploded. Pulling his face away from the scope, Shepard looked over at Kaidan. Alenko shook his head, sensing the Commander's question, and pointed down at the soldier. Looking where the lieutenant was pointing, Shepard saw the soldier taking cover behind a rock outcropping. While he watched, the soldier put a pistol back on their hip, and removed an AR from their back.

Sensing movement beyond the soldier, Shepard swiftly brought the scope of his rifle back to his eye and aimed downrange. Two machine-like things were gently laying a person down atop a small table or pedestal. _What are those things?_ Shepard wondered to himself. _And what are they doing to that colonist? It looks like they're trying to put a little kid to sleep or something. Holy shit!_ As the machine-looking things had taken a step back from the colonist, a metallic spike had shot up through the colonist's torso, killing him instantly.

Suddenly the machines drew strange-looking weapons and started moving toward the outcropping of rock, behind which hid the soldier. _Shit. They must have heard the soldier moving, or maybe the soldier made a noise when those bastards killed the colonist. That poor sod could probably use some help._ Shepard stood up and switched to his pistol, then motioned for Kaidan to move out. "AR out, Kaidan," he muttered into his radio.

"Yes, sir." Alenko replied, and pulled a Kedar Lancer off his back and slid it out to its full size.

"Double time. We need to save that soldier."

Shepard and Alenko sprinted down the hill and joined their fire with that of the unknown soldier. "Use sabotage on the one on the left, LT. I'll take the one on the right." Shepard ordered. Both soldiers activated their omni-tools in unison, and sent out a burst of electrical energy towards their designated targets. _I hope this works on whatever-the-hell kind of weapons those things are using. If not, those weapons will tear right through us, just like what happened to the corporal._

As two simultaneous bursts of orange lightning surrounded the metal bipeds, Shepard's fears were put to rest. Both enemies looked down at their weapons, pulling the trigger to no avail. Smiling, Shepard drew down on the "head" of his target. _Huh, those flashlight looking things make it really easy to aim for the head and put out the lights. Ha. Put out the lights. I crack myself up. I bet Alenko wouldn't laugh, though. Stick-in-the-mud._

The Commander saw his fourth shot frizzle and drop the metal thing's shields, and his fifth and sixth shots impacted the circle of light in the center of the thing's head. The last shot made the head explode in a shower of sparks. _Hmm. Those last two shots were a little far apart. I might need to take my Stiletto apart once I get back on the ship and make sure everything's as it should be. I don't like almost missing._

"Thanks for the help, Commander. I didn't know if I was going to make it." The soldier said to Shepard after the shooting stopped.

_That soldier's a lady. Sounds hot, too. Wonder what she looks like under that armor. I should try to get her out of this alive so I can find out. Is it bad that I'm ogling another lady when my girlfriend is probably royally pissed off at me somewhere on Arcturus Station? Yeah, sure, why not? No harm in window-shopping. Oh, she's talking again. I should probably pay attention._

"Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams of the 212." She said with a salute.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Shepard stood on the bridge, ostensibly overseeing his pilot. If asked, however, he would have been unable to say what the pilot had been doing. This was due to the fact that he was consumed by his own, internal, concerns.

_Christ. What the hell do I say in my report?_

"_Dear Alliance Brass. I went to Eden Prime to take care of your basic retrieval mission. I wasn't even trying to retrieve a person, just a hunk of 50,000-year-old junk. Along the way, the Geth attacked, leaving the Perseus Veil for the first time in 300 years. One of my squad got killed, then I picked up a replacement mid-battle. I punched out a scientist, threatened some harmless colonists, and managed to get the Spectre working with us shot dead, in the head. And the shooter was supposedly Saren, another Spectre. I never saw this Saren guy, of course, so you'll have to take the word of a cowardly lout who worked at the docks._

_Luckily, my team and I managed to defuse some nukes that were going to wipe the colony off the face of the planet, so that's a plus. Of course, I killed all the geth, so there's no hope of interrogating one of them, although if what I learned about them is right, that wouldn't be an option anyway. And of course, I somehow got in the way of a triggered Prothean beacon, which burned some nightmarish images into my brain (probably forever) and then exploded, knocking me out and on my ass. And I can't guarantee that those nightmares I saw actually happened __**before**__ I got knocked out. So to summarize: dead marine, dead Spectre, non-exploded colony, exploded beacon. Oh yeah, and the geth are back. Time for my next promotion, right?"_

_Oh yeah. I see my career skyrocketing after this report gets up the chain of command. Especially if you define "skyrocketing" as being busted back to down to private, or maybe discharged for being crazy. Or maybe, if I'm really lucky, both! And I'm gonna bring Anderson down with me. Because he, for some unknown reason, finds nothing odd about the way this mission went._

_Hopefully we're almost to the Citadel. I want to get a few beers, and check my messages for a message from Beth. And avoid the Alliance brass like the plague. Then get a few more beers. Or something stronger. Maybe I can find a liquor store and pick up a bottle of something highly alcoholic and cheap. And a six pack of beer so I won't be able to taste the probably-shitty liquor._

_Staggeringly drunk sounds like an appropriate mental state for some soul-searching about this buttfuck of a mission. Have I really gotten to the point where my hatred for turians blinds me when I need to be paying attention to shit? Did that kid die because I was too busy worrying about what that turian __**might**__ be doing, instead of nearby potential threats?_

Thinking about what Nihlus had said before the mission forced another potential realization to the forefront of Shepard's mind. _Are turians really that fucking different from us anyway? Apparently, they stab each other in the back just like we do. And Nihlus said he didn't hate humans. He wanted me to join the Spectres, for Christ's sakes! If I was a Spectre, and they asked me if a turian should join the ranks, I'd tell whoever was asking to shove it up their ass. This guy just wanted to give us a chance. Maybe I should do the same?_

_I'm way too sober for this sorta conversation._ "Joker, we almost at the relay?"

"Ten minutes out." Joker replied. "Then another half hour to get to the Citadel and get docked."

"Thanks, Joker." Joker turned around to say something else to the Commander, but he was already gone.

* * *

_I really don't like this guy. I mean, I just met him, and I already want to feed him to a thresher maw. Or maybe just punch him in the face. I wonder if snide is his native tongue, or if it's something all politicians pick up while they're at "How To Be A Lying Bastard And Not Give A Shit About Anybody Else So You Can Better Serve The Public" University. Thank god he's leaving._

"And that's why I hate politicians." Ashley said.

_Good to know at least somebody else thinks that that guy's a dick. I'm glad I don't have anything to do until the meeting with the Council, though. Finally some good fucking luck. That gives me enough time to go find a good place to get soused. I should probably let Williams and Alenko go first, though._

"Williams, Alenko. You are free to do whatever it is you do until tomorrow, as long as you're not late to the Council meeting. Don't. Be. Late." He finished menacingly.

"Aye, aye, sir." Both marines snapped off a crisp salute and headed for the door of Udina's office.

* * *

Shepard wandered the seedier side of the Citadel until he found himself a table in a darkened corner of Flux and sat down heavily. After a few moments of taking in the layout and clientele of the club, he looked down at his omni-tool, preparing to access his messages for the first time in nearly a week.

"Are you waiting for someone?" A female voice pulled his eyes up. Standing in front of his table was a statuesque redhead, clad in a skintight dress with strategically placed cutouts showing acres of pale skin.

_Great. Most days I'd probably be looking to get a hot piece of ass like her to join me in a dark corner for some fun, but today's not most days._ "I'm really not in the mood for company." Shepard growled out, trying to scare her away.

"Ok then." The woman continued to stand there, looking down at him.

_I'm gonna get really pissed off if she doesn't take a hint soon. Why the fuck-_

"What can I get you to drink?" The redhead asked, interrupting whatever vicious comment Shepard was about to think.

_Jesus. Cocky much, Spike? You think every woman that talks to you wants to fuck you or something? She's the god damned waitress, dumbass. Just order a drink and start reading your messages before you say something else you'll regret._ "What's the cheapest thing you've got that's trying to be bourbon or whiskey?"

"We actually have both. Whiskey is six credits a glass, bourbon is eight."

"Whiskey it is." Shepard said. "I'll take five of them. And no ice."

"Did you want all five at once?"

"Yes."

"I thought you said no one else would be joining you?" Her face and voice betrayed her confusion.

"I did." Shepard answered curtly. "But I know I'm gonna drink at least that much, and this way you can take care other people without bothering me for a while."

"Fine." She said and stalked off.

_Well, that was about as subtle as a sledgehammer to the face, Spike. The poor girl's only trying to do her job, and you gotta go and be an asshole to her. You're not supposed to be a mean drunk until __**after**__ you've started drinking. You should apologize to her when she brings over your drinks. That, or tip her well._ Shepard quickly decided that a generous tip would be the best way to apologize without actually having to talk to the waitress again. Confident in his plan, he pulled up his omni-tool and opened his inbox.

_Well. Coupla important ones, mostly from Beth. Shit, three from Beth. She either really missed me, or something's wrong. Oh, and one from the Alliance. Wonder what that's about? Eh, it can wait until after I see what Beth's got to __say_. Shepard clicked on the newest message from Beth, and waited for it to load.

"Shepard,

Where the hell are you? I haven't heard from you since you sent me that e-mail about how you were blowing me off. You didn't even respond when I told you about Mom and Dad. And now the Alliance is sending out messages about the geth!? Are you okay? I need to hear from you, like, ASAP. Ok?

Beth"

_None of that sounds any kind of good. Confusing, but not good. Maybe I should start at the beginning. Oh, and here're my drinks._ Ignoring his omni-tool for a moment, Shepard grabbed the first glass and drained it. The burning in his throat was quickly followed by a grimace. _I don't know who sold them this shit, but it's not whiskey. This shit tastes like highly alcoholic battery acid. Oh well. Since high ABV is what I'm looking for, I guess it'll do. At least they give you a sizable portion._ He reached for the next glass, gulped it down, and turned back to his omni-tool. He clicked on Beth's earliest message, sent only six hours after he told her he was cancelling their weekend together.

"Spike,

That really stinks. I was sooo looking forward to seeing you again, it feels like it's been forever. Do you have any idea why they would cancel your leave? You didn't do something stupid again, did you? You promised Dad that if you were going to date me, you were going to start doing things by the book. You know how he thinks you're a bad influence on me. Mom and I both still think that's a good thing though. ;) Anyways, let me know when you get back to Arcturus. Even if you don't have leave, I can come over and see you.

Love,

Beth"

Shepard smiled at how cute his girlfriend could be, then grabbed another glass of "whiskey" and opened up her next message. As he read this one, however, the smile turned to a look of worry and he drained the rest of the amber-colored liquid absent-mindedly.

"Spike,

I haven't heard from you in a couple of days, and I'm starting to worry. I hope you're not in trouble or something. Also, there're starting to be some weird reports about Eden Prime, and how it may have been attacked. I tried messaging Mom and Dad, and they didn't send me anything back. I even tried to get a vid-chat with them, but they didn't answer. I'm really hoping nothing happened to Eden Prime, but what if it did? I don't know what I'd do if something happened to them. I just really need you to hold me and tell me everything'll be alright. Please contact me as soon as you can.

I love you.

Beth"

_Son of a fucking bitch!_ Shepard raged at himself. _I was on Eden Prime, fighting the fucking geth, and completely forgot the Lees retired there. I should have tried to contact them or something. What the hell am I gonna tell Beth? "Sorry honey, I was on Eden Prime and it never occurred to me to check on your parents. Just slipped my mind, is all." Yeah, that will go over like a ton of fucking bricks. Can you say "deal-breaker?" You're a shit-eating asshole, you know that Spike?_ Shepard reached for another glass full of alcohol and read the message from the Alliance.

"To all Alliance personnel,

Alliance Command has received confirmed reports of geth activity in and around the Terminus systems. Alliance Command recommends that all soldiers study any available information regarding the geth in order to be better prepared for a possible widespread mobilization. According to reports, when engaging the geth on the ground, standard alliance protocols are still effective. Additionally, there appear to be different varieties of active geth. Adaptive threat recognition procedures may be required when engaging groups of geth consisting of these multiple varieties.

Thank you."

Shepard snorted derisively to himself. _So they sent out a message to tell us to learn about the geth, shoot them in the head, and shoot the big ones first. Thanks, Alliance. I woulda never thought to shoot the bastards in the face. Sheer fucking brilliance. That must be why they get paid the big bucks. Unfortunately, now Beth's last message makes sense. She kinda has a reason to be pissed off. I should probably send her something before she tries to get the Alliance to declare me AWOL or some shit._ Shepard reached for his last full glass, and sipped at it while trying to figure out what to write back. Finally coming to a decision, he downed the last of his whiskey and started to write.

"Beth,

I'm sorry I couldn't send you a message. The mission I was on was classified top secret, so you know I wasn't able to use my omni-tool to send/receive messages. I'm really sorry you were worried about me, I didn't mean for that to happen. The Alliance gave me orders, and I had to follow them. As for the geth, I can tell you that they are definitely out and about. Like the Alliance said, though, bullets to the face puts 'em down just like anything else. I'm really sorry you haven't been able to get in contact with your parents. What, exactly, have you heard about Eden Prime? I can't see you in person right now, because I'm on the Citadel. But if you're available at 1600 Zulu, maybe we can vid-chat?

Spike"

_I don't think that message will completely appease her, but hopefully it's a start. Can I even tell her it was the geth who attacked Eden Prime? I should probably ask Anderson, but I bet he's still busy with that asshat of an ambassador. Guess I'll just have to wing it. Also, that fucking battery acid is starting to taste pretty good. I'm gonna get another one._

A few hours later, Shepard's omni-tool buzzed with the receipt of an urgent message, shaking him from sleep. As he sat up, his head started to spin, and he looked around between nearly closed eyelids. _Hell and fucking damnation._ _Am I on the Normandy? How the fuck did I get here? I don't remember walking back from that Flux place at all. Fuck, thinking hurts. Who is sending me urgent messages right now? I swear to Christ, if it's not "end of all life" important, I'm gonna beat whoever sent it to me to death, with their own fucking spine. Alliance Brass included._ Shepard blearily tried to make out his omni-tool, and opened the message.

"Spike,

I'm so glad you're okay. My mind kept going to the worst-case scenario, and I started to panic a little. Ok, maybe a lot. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I can do 1600, though. I heard on the news that the geth attacked Eden Prime, and there were a lot of casualties. I still haven't heard from my parents yet, which worries me a lot. At least I'll get a chance to see you again.

Love,

Beth"

_Fuck, Beth. Couldn't you have just waited 'til 1600 to tell me all that? Would waiting four more hours really be so goddamned difficult?_ His boozy mind suddenly jumped topics, making his temples throb painfully._ At least she knows it was the geth, now. One less thing I've gotta tell her. I'm gettin' a bad feeling about her parents though. They should have comms on Eden Prime back up, and her Mom and Dad would have wanted to reassure her immediately. Damn the geth. Fucking assholes._ Shepard lay back down on the floor of the cargo bay and passed out, again.

* * *

The incessant buzzing of his omni-tool brought Shepard out of a fitful sleep. The visions burned into his brain by the Prothean beacon had started running through his head as soon as the alcohol started wearing off, keeping him from any restful sleep. Rubbing his eyes blearily, he answered the vid-chat request. "Hi, Bethany."

"Oh Spike, I'm so glad to see you!" She exclaimed with a wide smile. "I've been so worried, and I missed you, and I'm still worried about my parents, and -"

"I missed you too, Beth." Shepard interrupted her. "Do you mind if I call you back in a coupla minutes? I'm down in the cargo hold right now, and I'd prefer to talk to you about this in the mess hall. I could use some water."

"Oh, sure. Don't be too long." She said with a smile.

"Ok." Shepard terminated the call, then stood up and walked over to the elevator. He spent the elevator ride trying to figure out what he was going to say to her, to no avail. _Shit. I shoulda figured something out before I got wasted. Now everything's all slow and fuzzy. Fuck._ Shepard stepped out of the elevator as soon as it stopped and grabbed a cup, then filled it with some water. _Mmm. Cold water. I bet that'd feel good._ Without a second thought, he dumped most of the liquid over his head, and then rubbed his face with one hand while he refilled the glass with the other. Taking a small mouthful and working it around, trying to clear his cottonmouth, he walked over to the mess hall table and sat down, then sent Bethany a request.

She answered almost immediately. "Your head is wet." She pointed out.

"Yeah, I know. Needed to wake myself up. I haven't had a whole lotta sleep the last couple days." He said dejectedly.

"Oh, what's wrong baby?" She saw his face twist into a grimace when she used her pet name for him. _I know he hates it when I call him that, but it's how I show him I care. He calls me honey, I call him baby. Too bad for you, Mr. Tough Guy._

"Nothing. The mission was a little rough, that's all." He continued to look down at the table, rather than at her.

"What were you doing? And where did they send you?" The tone of her voice carried something he can't quite identify.

_Is that sadness?_ He asked himself. _Regret? Anxiety? Something else? I can't tell._

"Did you get hurt?" She finished her line of questioning and looked at him expectantly.

"No marks. My armor and shields held up pretty good." He said. He glanced furtively around, verifying that no one else was around, and then quickly stripped off his shirt. He moved the omni-tool around his head, showing her his deeply toned and tanned upper body.

_Good. I know he has quite a few scars on that body of his, but I recognize all of those. Wait, except for that one!_ "Spike, there's a new scar on your back."

"Where?" He asked, spinning his seat around to try to see it.

_He looks like a dog chasing his tail._ Beth laughed at this rare moment of silliness. "It's just above and outside your left shoulder blade." She said, pointing in its general direction.

"Oh, that." He shook his head and put his shirt back on. "I didn't get that on this last mission. It's from that two-month long assignment I just got back from. All healed, though."

"What happened?" She asked, concerned.

"Nothing much. I was focusing a little too much on a target way the hell downrange, and one of the bad guys managed to sneak up on me. I made the shot, then took care of the interloper. Easy peasy."

"If it was so easy, why do you have a new scar?" She pointed out, looking rather cross.

"Well, he went down easy. But I had to take the shot, first, so he got a free run at me." _And I was being stupid. If he was a little less dumb, he woulda gotten up close and personal. At midrange, his AR was useless against my shields. Dumb fuck. I didn't have a choice but to ignore him, though, since that shot was right at the edge of what's probably possible, even with mass effect weapons. Even __**I **__needed to work really hard to make it. So he got to live for a few extra seconds._ "But he was a moron, so he's dead and I'm not. No worries." He tried to grin winningly at her.

_I'm glad he didn't get hurt. This time out, at least. But that only answers one of my questions._ "Where were you?" She asked again, and then watched several emotions chase each other across his face. _Did he look guilty for a second there? What would he have to feel guilty about? Unless he was on -_

"Eden Prime." He answered. He snuck a glance up at her, and saw that her eyes were wide and her mouth had dropped open. _P__robably in shock_, he thought to himself. "Look, Beth, I'm not even sure how much of this I can, or should tell you. The mission I was on was secret, but it involved going to Eden Prime." He finished speaking, and raised his gaze fully, waiting for her to respond.

After what felt like hours, but was really only a few seconds, Bethany's mouth closed and her eyes narrowed. "And?"

"And, you can't tell anyone this because I could get court-martialed, the geth were there. And I killed a lot of them." _Alright, so maybe the court-martial bit is a little strong. It's out on the news now, and the Alliance sent out a freaking bulletin, for Christ's __sakes_. He added a weak smile at the end of his statement, in an attempt to bring a bit of levity to the suddenly tense situation.

Bethany was clearly not amused by his attempt at making light of the situation. "I got all that from the news vids, thanks." _Yeah, thanks for nothing!_ She shouted in her head. Aloud, she continued from where she had left off. "What happened? Why were they there? Why were you there? Did you know this was going to happen? And where are my parents?" She was shouting at him by the time she finished, practically in tears.

_Oh shit._ Shepard's internal "I'm in trouble" meter was going off, loudly and insistently. _I don't think I can answer any of those questions. I can't tell her why I was there, or anything about the beacon or that traitorous bastard Saren. I have no idea why the geth were there. I have no idea what happened to her parents, or where they might be. At least I can tell her, truthfully, that I didn't know they were gonna be there. Hell, no one did. Except maybe for Saren, but he certainly wasn't telling. Asshole._

Shepard decided to lead with the one positive thing he had. "Beth, I had no idea the geth would be there. Nobody did. Hell, I didn't even know the geth were there until they started shooting at me. And I didn't know that they were geth until somebody told me that's what they were."

"Whatever. What about everything else?" She demanded, her every word conveying hostility.

_I'm still in trouble._ Shepard thought to himself. "Well, honey, I can't tell you why I was there, or anything more about what I did ground-side." Internally, Shepard cringed. _Using her pet name is not gonna help any bit at all. If anything, it'll probably piss her off more._ He was right.

"What do you mean, you can't tell me?" Bethany's voice was no longer high in pitch or volume.

Shepard's trouble meter was on the verge of growing legs and walking away from his subconscious at this point. _She's really pissed at me. I can't remember her ever sounding that scary. I don't think I like it. Especially not when it's aimed at me._ "You know how it is in the Alliance, Bethany. There are some things you just can't talk about. If you haven't experienced it yourself, you will someday."

"But I'm your girlfriend." _Maybe if I plead with him, he'll give me something. I don't think I can threaten him into submission, because N7s don't cave to interrogation. Damn it, I really wish we'd had sex already, then I could threaten to take that away. But he's all like "I want to wait, blah blah nobility, blah blah chivalry, blah blah Brian."_

"I'm sorry, honey. But I just can't tell you." Shepard's eyes turned downward.

"But Spike, it's my parents. And I'm Alliance too." Real tears were leaking down Bethany's cheeks.

"I know you are, hon. But need-to-know still applies. And I don't know where your parents are, or if anything happened to them. If I did, I would tell you. Even if the Alliance told me not to." Honesty wasn't always Shepard's strength, but he tried to force it into every syllable.

"Yeah right! It's always Alliance first, me second. We've been dating for six months and I've spent like, a month of it actually with you. A full week of that was the first week we started dating, when I was home trying to decide what to specialize in. The rest of the time, it's just a couple days here, a few days there, whenever you can get leave. And by the way, thanks for all your help when I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do in the Alliance. 'Oh, the Alliance needs engineers, so you should do that. You could never be as awesome an infiltrator as me, so don't even bother trying. And your brother was just a soldier, so you could do that if you want to be boring and lame like him!'"

"Now wait just a minute." Shepard stopped her, feeling his temperature rise at her words. "I recommended engineering to you because you studied all that technology stuff in college, and you have a knack for it. And I never said you couldn't be an infiltrator like me, I just said you had to be a crack shot." Shepard's voice was suddenly colder than the depths of space. "And I would never, **ever** insult Brian. Or his memory. He was my best friend, and one of the best men I've ever known."

Shepard's anger was unable to temper Bethany's explosion of anger. "Sure he was. That's why you let him die on Elysium! I don't know why you ever agreed to date me. You never cared about me the way you did him! And you never cared about me the way you do the Alliance!"

At this, Shepard was visibly stunned. _How can she think I don't care about her? Why else would I be with her? It's obviously not because I just want to get in her pants. I've always cared about her. So much. Back when Brian was alive, it was like she was my little sister, too. And then she grew up. I didn't realize she'd grown up 'til she kissed me. Is this wrong? Does she think that? Is she trying to break up with me?_

Momentarily taken aback by Shepard's unease, Bethany paused in her diatribe. _I don't know what to say now. Did I hurt him? He deserves it. Why won't he just tell me what happened? Why does he always have to keep secrets? He never tells me where he's going or where he's been, he always just says, "It's a secret. Sorry." It drives me crazy!_ She was brought out of her reverie by Shepard's response.

"It's getting late Bethany. I have to go get some sleep; I'm meeting with the Council tomorrow morning. Good bye." He killed the vid-chat as soon as he finished speaking. "Good night, Bethany." He said again, softly, to no one but his omni-tool. Typing in the necessary commands to keep her from waking him up again via omni-tool, he made his way back to his bunk. He lay down with a groan, and then made sure to set an alarm for the next morning. That done, he faded off into a restless sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Shift the blame to cover your own failures, just like Captain Anderson. He's taught you well." The voice of Saren Arterius rang out through the Council Chamber, emanating from the larger-than-life holographic projection of the turian Spectre. "What can you expect . . . from a human?" The Spectre continued, sharing a look with the turian councilor.

"Saren despises humanity. That's why he attacked Eden Prime!" Shepard countered.

"Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not even ready to join the Spectres!" Saren spat.

"He has no right to say that!" Udina said, spitting with fury. "That's not his decision!"

"Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting." The asari councilor cut in, trying to defuse the situation.

"This meeting has no purpose." Saren sneered. "The humans are wasting your time, Councilor. And mine."

"Saren's hiding behind his position as a Spectre." Shepard tried to make the Council see the truth. "You need to open your eyes."

"What we need, is evidence." The salarian councilor spoke this time. "So far we've seen nothing."

"There's still one outstanding issue. Commander Shepard's vision." Now it was Captain Anderson's turn to appeal to the Council. "It may have been triggered by the beacon."

"Are we allowing dreams into evidence now?" Saren put special emphasis on the word "dreams." "How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"

"I agree." The turian councilor spoke up to support his Spectre. "Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculations."

"Do you have anything else to add, Commander Shepard?" The salarian picked up where the turian had left off.

"You've made your decision." Shepard answered, anger leaking into his voice. "I won't waste my breath."

The three alien members of the Council looked at one another, coming to a decision. Then the asari councilor spoke. "The Council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren, and the geth. Ambassador, your petition to have him disbarred from the Spectres is denied."

"I'm glad to see justice was served." Saren said smugly, before his holograph winked out of existence.

"This meeting is adjourned." The asari councilor announced.

Anderson, Shepard, Alenko, and Williams all walked slowly away from the Council. Udina, however, didn't move. He just stood there, staring at the ground, looking absolutely crestfallen.

_I hate that turian motherfucker._ Shepard thought vehemently, ignoring whatever argument Udina and Anderson were having. _I hate those motherfuckers on the Council too. Oh, he's a Spectre, he wouldn't do anything wrong, we all love him and wanna have his fucking babies. Human witnesses aren't worth shit to us, because you're all a bunch of ignorant malcontents. Turians are perfect and amazing and never do anything wrong, ever. Then how did Nihlus end up dead?!_ Shepard continued to rage internally, wishing he could go back and really give the Council a piece of his mind. _I didn't know turians suffered from naturally occurring, sudden-onset bullet in the fucking brain syndrome. How come that disease didn't affect more of the goddamn bastards at Shanxi then? Then maybe my parents would still be alive. Fucking cock-juggling thundercunts. One of these days, they're gonna pull their heads outta their asses and find themselves in a world of fucking trouble, all because of captain dickweed! Aka their most perfect and holy __**Spectre**__, Saren motherfucking Arterius._

Coming back from his internal haranguing of the Council, Shepard got some much-needed information from Captain Anderson.

_Ok, so we've got something we can be doing, thank god. I'd probably go on a murderous rampage if I had to go back to the ship and wait for something to happen. I wanna find that Garrus guy first, and then hit up the information broker, Barla Bon or whatever his name was. Hopefully Ash or Kaidan was paying more attention than I was and actually remembers this guy's name._

As they headed for the nearest rapid transport station, Ashley pointed out a salarian doing something to one of the Citadel's keepers. As he noticed the approach of the three, armed, humans, the salarian quickly stood up and stepped away from the keeper. "Um, yes. Is there something you want?" He asked nervously.

"Why are you so interested in the keepers?" Shepard asked, the words coming out more angrily than he had intended.

"Keepers? I'm not interested in the keep-" The salarian was interrupted by Ashley.

"Don't get coy with me, I know what I saw."

"I . . . uh . . . I'm not so sure I should be talking to you about this." The salarian stammered.

"Just tell me what you're doing." Shepard tried to sound reassuring. "I'm not here to get you into trouble."

"Ok, I guess it wouldn't hurt to tell you. I've developed a tool that scans the keepers." The salarian explained. "So far, I've had mixed results. I find it difficult to get near the creatures."

"Why were you being so secretive about it, though?" Shepard asked.

"Well, technically we're not supposed to disturb the keepers. I do not think my scanning really disturbs them, but I do not know that the authorities would agree. I'd like to do it more openly, but it's not really worth getting arrested over." The salarian shrugged, thinking that the humans would share his reasoning.

"I could help you out. I'm not worried about the authorities." _Actually, I wouldn't mind sticking it to the authorities in any way I can._ Shepard was still fuming from the Council's earlier protection of Saren.

"I don't even know who you are." The salarian pointed out.

"I'm Commander Shepard, with the Alliance military."

"Oh, ok. I suppose I could use the help. I'm Chorban." The salarian acquiesced. "Here, you'll need the scanner. Just get close and activate it. All data will automatically be uploaded to my database, and I'll send a few credits to you for each unique scan."

"I should get going then." Shepard replied, then turned and walked quickly away before the salarian could provide an in-depth explanation of how the scanner worked.

* * *

"So this is the sleazy I smelled getting off that taxi." Shepard remarked to Ashley as the two of them, and Kaidan, walked into Chora's Den.

"That's funny, Commander." Ashley replied. "I thought it was those two dirt bags who tried to kill us when we got out of the taxi."

"Rookie mistake." Shepard laughed. "Assassins always smell like **money** and sleazy. This place is pure, unadulterated, sleaze."

All three of the members of the Alliance laughed together, and started scanning the crowd for someone who matched the description of Harkin given to them by Captain Anderson. As they were making their way through the club, they saw two krogan arguing. As they got closer, one krogan, apparently named "Wrex," was threatening someone named Fist. Fist was apparently hiding from the angry, scary-looking krogan with long scars running down the right side of his face. _I'd probably be hiding from that beast too._ Shepard thought to himself. _He looks like he'd be hard to take down in a fight._

After the heavily armed and armored Wrex walked away, Kaidan asked the other two humans, "What was that about?"

"Who cares?" Ashley said dismissively. "Long as we don't get in the middle of it."

_Amen to that._ Shepard silently agreed. Just then, he spotted someone who looked a lot like this "Harkin" they were trying to find. _Hmmm. Bald, shrewish, smelling heavily of alcohol, dressed in C-Sec attire. I think we have a winner._

After listening to the man ramble on about how hard it was working in Citadel Security, and how Alliance marines had it so easy, Shepard finally got some useful information out of the misbegotten drunk. _So Garrus should be near the med clinic. If he's not there, maybe this Dr. Michel chick will have seen him._ Having come to a decision about where to go, Shepard let his team lead the way to the med clinic, while his thoughts turned to what Harkin had said about the Captain of the SSV Normandy._ I wonder if Harkin was telling the truth about Anderson. Was he really a Spectre? If he was, what did he do that was bad enough to get kicked out? And why wouldn't he tell me, if he was trying to get me into the Spectres? Didn't he think I would wanna know about a previous human Spectre, who apparently didn't last long? I've gotta ask him about it next time I see him, or it'll drive me fucking crazy._

* * *

As they walked into the med clinic, Shepard saw the turian C-Sec detective crouching low behind a half-wall, looking further into the clinic. Pulling his pistol from his hip, Shepard saw why. _Great. Some thugs threatening a nurse. Pretty nurse, too. Unless that's Dr. Michel. In which case, they're threatening a pretty doctor. It seems no day in the life of Spike is complete without killing something, be it a machine, a person, or a relationship. I guess that's what I get for being so badass._

As Shepard and his team advanced, the leader of the thugs pulled the doctor in front of him, obviously intending to use her as a human shield. _Oh great. Some precision shooting instead of lunch. Why can't anything ever be easy?_ Shepard shook his head and lined up his shot.

Before he could take it, though, the thug's head exploded in a shower of blood and brains. _What the hell?_ Shepard started to think, and then noticed the turian standing erect, aiming a pistol at where the thug used to be standing. _Not bad._ Shepard thought grudgingly. _That detective's a pretty good shot. And pretty smart, too. Used my entrance as an opportunity to get the drop on the baddies. Kudos, Mr. Vakarian._

As the other thugs scrambled to find cover, Shepard and his team advanced into the room. Shepard calmly started putting bullets into the heads of whatever bad guys were left. Not bothering to use cover, he moved methodically through the room. _These guys don't have much in the way of shields. Three shots and I'm hitting flesh. Not much armor, either. Fucking amateurs._ He checked his suit's HUD. _They haven't even made it through my shields yet. Pathetic._ After the last thug had been dropped, Shepard holstered his pistol and motioned for his team to stand down.

"Commander Shepard." Garrus said as Shepard moved closer. "Your entrance was perfectly timed. Gave me the chance to take that guy down."

_He seems enthusiastic, at least._ Shepard thought to himself. _Let's see if he's got anything going for him besides enthusiasm._ "What were you thinking? You could've hit the hostage!" Shepard demanded.

"I- I'm sorry, Commander. I was just taking advantage- Are you okay, Dr. Michel?" The turian stammered.

_So. Not confident, then. At least he has good instincts._

"No, I'm okay. Thanks to you. All of you." Dr. Michel sounded a little breathless, but otherwise unharmed.

"I know those men threatened you." Shepard said, calmly. "But if you tell us what they wanted, we can protect you."

"They work for Fist." The doctor explained. "They wanted to shut me up, keep me from telling Garrus about the quarian."

_A quarian? I've never met one of them before. This shitty day might be getting better soon._ "What quarian?"

"A few days ago, a quarian came by my office." Dr. Michel began. "She'd been shot but she wouldn't tell me who did it. She asked me about the Shadow Broker. She wanted to trade information in exchange for a safe place to hide."

_This Shadow Broker guy again. I really need to go have a chat with that finance guy, what did Kaidan say his name was? Von? Yeah, Barla Von. He and I definitely need to have a little chat._ "Where is she now?" He pressed.

"I put here in contact with Fist. He's an agent for the Shadow Broker."

_Another Shadow Broker crony on the Citadel. Christ. How many of them are there?_

"Not anymore." Garrus piped up. "He betrayed the Shadow Broker. Now he's working for Saren."

"Fist betrayed the Shadow Broker? That's stupid, even for him." The doctor sounded incredulous.

"That quarian must have something Saren wants. Something worth crossing the Shadow Broker to get." Garrus stated the facts with a satisfied smile.

_Kinda obvious, but I appreciate the guy for putting everything out there, making sure everybody's on the same page. He might be another turian that I can actually stand, bringing the race's grand total up to two. Well, one, if you figure Nihlus is dead now. Huzzah for the turians, I suppose. But I should really be focusing on the quarian._ "What else can you tell me about the quarian?"

"I don't really know much more than what I told you. She didn't say much." The doctor paused, thinking back to the incident. "Wait! Geth! She said it had something to do with the geth!"

"She must be able to link Saren to the geth. There's no way the Council can ignore this!" Garrus exclaimed, pounding his fist into his hand.

"Time we paid Fist a visit." Shepard said coldly.

"This is your show, Shepard." Garrus admitted. "But I want to bring Saren down as much as you do. I'm coming with you!"

_I shoulda expected that._ Shepard thought, mentally smacking himself in the face with his hand. _Better make sure he's serious, though._ "You're a turian. Why do you want to bring him down?"

"I couldn't find the proof I needed in my investigation. But I knew what was really going on. Saren's a traitor to the Council, and a disgrace to my people!" Garrus was emphatic, shaking his head in anger.

_Good enough for me._ "Welcome aboard, Garrus." Shepard said, holding out his hand.

Garrus took it and shook, with what passed for a turian grin on his face. "You know, we aren't the only ones going after Fist. The Shadow Broker hired a krogan bounty hunter named Wrex to take him down."

"Yeah, we saw him in the bar." Ashley commented.

_A krogan bounty hunter? Probably couldn't hurt. That guy looked like a tank with legs. I bet he can absorb a __**lot**__ of damage. I say yes! Let's go get us a krogan!_ "A krogan might come in handy." Shepard said aloud.

"Last I heard he was in C-Sec Academy." Garrus told Shepard.

"What's he doing there?" Kaidan asked.

"Fist accused him of making threats. If you hurry, you can probably still catch him there." Garrus said, smiling.

_Ha ha ha, I __**bet**__ Fist accused him of making threats. Probably hoping C-Sec will kick the angry krogan off the station before said krogan gets a new human throw rug._ "Alright, let's move out. Kaidan, you're relieved. If I need you, I'll send a message to your omni-tool."

"Are you sure, Commander?" Kaidan asked, glancing anxiously at Ashley, and then Garrus.

"It'll be fine, Kaidan." Shepard said with a nod. "Garrus, Ashley, let's move out!"


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note (16 Dec 2012): I wish to offer my apologies to my readers. I made a mistake in several of my earlier chapters, calling Shepard a marine, rather than a naval officer. I have updated the chapters, making some minor adjustments to dialogue in Chapter 1. Future chapters will not make the same mistake. Thank you for your attention, and enjoy this week's chapter.

Chapter 5

"Witnesses saw you making threats in Fist's bar. Stay away from him." A human C-Sec officer was lecturing the huge krogan.

"I will kill him." Was the krogan's simple reply.

"Damn it Wrex, this is your only warning!" The C-Sec officer insisted. "You want me to arrest you?"

"I want you to try." Wrex answered with a deep, rumbling laugh.

As the krogan walked away from the C-Sec officer, Shepard stepped into his path.

"Do I know you, human?" Wrex asked.

"My name's Shepard. I'm going after Fist. I thought you might want to come along." Shepard answered.

"Shepard? Commander Shepard? I've heard about you. We're both warriors, Shepard. Out of respect, I'm telling you: I **will** kill him." The krogan's deep voice was full of menace.

"Fist knows you're coming. You'll have better luck if we go after him together." Garrus pointed out the strategic benefits of an alliance to the red-eyed krogan.

"My people have a saying: Seek the enemy of your enemy, and you will find a friend." Wrex said.

_I'm gonna take that as a "yes." Now I'm looking forward to going back to Chora's Den. This poor Fist bastard isn't gonna know what hit him. He better hope he has the answers I want to hear, or his life is gonna take a drastic turn for the worse. _"Glad to have you on the team, Wrex."

"Let's go. I hate to keep Fist waiting." Wrex's reptilian features crinkled into a wicked smile.

"Sounds good." Shepard agreed. Looking at Garrus and Ashley, he nodded to Ashley. "Ash, you're relieved. Make sure to check your omni-tool periodically, if I need you I'll let you know with a message."

"But Skipper-" she started to protest, looking wildly at Wrex, her mistrust of the krogan mercenary written all over her pretty features.

"No buts, Ash." Shepard interrupted her before she could get into stride. "There's no way Fist can stand up to me, a turian, and a krogan. He'd have to recruit every piece of merc trash on this station to even slow us down. It'll be fine. Now go." He put steel into his voice as he made it clear this was an order, not a suggestion.

Quailing under his intense gaze, Ashley gave him a salute and headed for one of the elevators.

"Well men, let's go find us a quarian." Shepard said, motioning for his team to move out.

"And kill Fist." Wrex added.

"And kill Fist." Shepard agreed.

* * *

Fist cowered on the floor, pleading for his life to the three heavily armed intruders that had decimated his security and destroyed his office. Unfortunately for him, none of the three were in any mood to listen. Shepard was angry because one of Fist's thugs had punched a round through his armor, preventing him from using his left hand to hold any of his weapons. _It is really hard to shoot anything but a pistol with only one hand. I need to get some better fucking armor. Whatever mods those bastards were using went right through my __shields_.

Garrus was upset because his AR had overheated in the middle of battle, forcing him to shelter behind a table while Shepard and Wrex laid waste to the rest of the mercs in the main room of Chora's Den. _You're better than this, Vakarian. Pulse your shots; you learned that in basic training. Shoddy, shoddy, work. What would Dad say?_

And Wrex didn't feel like listening because he hadn't earned his money until Fist was dead.

Fist eventually gave Shepard everything he wanted.

"But when he shows up, it'll be Saren's men waiting for her." Fist told the Commander.

"Give me the location. Now." Shepard's eyes were hard, and his tone told Fist he would brook no evasions.

"Here on the wards, the back alley by the market." Fist babbled. "She's supposed to be meeting with them now. If you hurry you can stop them."

Suddenly Wrex pulled out his shotgun and put a round through Fist's chest, ending the man's life.

"What are you doing?!" Garrus yelled.

"The Shadow Broker paid me to kill him. I don't leave jobs half done." Wrex said with a half-shrug.

"A lot of people died because of him." Shepard agreed with Wrex. "He had it coming. Now let's move! We gotta save that quarian!

Stopping only to grab an OSD that had fallen out of Fist's pocket during the fighting, the three men ran for the door. Shepard was the first one to reach the door leading out of Fist's office into the bar. As soon as he went through the door, he ducked back inside. "More mercs." He said, in answer to Wrex and Garrus's questioning looks.

On Shepard's movement, the team ran through the door and headed for the first available cover. Shepard crammed himself into a corner made by an upturned table and the wall, Wrex went over the bar, and Garrus took cover just outside the bar, covering Wrex. Looking up, Shepard saw a merc's shadow moving across the wall towards him. _Ah, hell. Garrus and Wrex are busy, looks like this one's mine. This is gonna hurt._ Shaking his head at what he was about to do, he pulled his shotgun off the back of his waist and extended it. Half a second later, a merc came around the corner, right into Shepard's line of fire. The "thoom" of the shotgun echoed in the small space, and Shepard bit back a grimace as the shotgun's recoil jarred his good arm. _Yep, that was dumb._

Opening and closing his hand to get some feeling back into it, Shepard collapsed the shotgun and pulled out his pistol. Moving around his cover, he directed Wrex and Garrus to circle the bar in one direction, while he took the other. Shortly thereafter, the remaining mercs were caught in a crossfire and exterminated. Keeping his pistol out, Shepard recommenced running, skidding out the door and high-tailing it towards the back alley Fist had mentioned.

As they blew through the doors and up the stairs, they came upon a quarian standing between a turian and two armored salarians.

"Did you bring it?" The turian asked.

"Where's the Shadow Broker?" The quarian demanded. "Where's Fist?"

_Oh ho, that sounded like a female voice. The body looks female too. A very nice body, actually. Maybe she'll need- What are you doing, Spike? Focus, dammit!_

"They'll be here." The turian purred, reaching out a hand to stroke the quarian's helmet. "Where's the evidence?"

"No. I don't like this. The deal's off." The quarian replied, smacking the turian's hand away.

_And she's got some spunk, too. I like her a lot, and we haven't even been properly introduced. Unfortunately, this probably means that the turian is- yup, that nod to the salarians was the signal. Time to go to work._

Before the salarians could take two steps towards her, the quarian acted. She sent out a techmine that blasted them aside, and then dove for cover.

_She's a tricky one. Daddy likey. But there's shooting to be done now, so lecherous thoughts will have to wait for later._

Charging forward with his pistol, Shepard started shooting at the nearest salarian assassin. Two shots destroyed the target's shields, and the next three shots tattooed a hole directly between the eyes of the salarian's armor. Checking the other salarian, Shepard saw Wrex standing over him. The salarian had a new hole in the middle of his suit, courtesy of Wrex's shotgun. Looking the other way, Shepard saw that Garrus had pinned the enemy turian behind some boxes. Motioning to Garrus to keep up the covering fire, he motioned for Wrex to join him in charging the other turian.

As he sprinted towards the camped turian, Shepard cued up a techmine of his own. Coming around the corner, he launched the mine at the turian. As soon as it hit, it exploded in orange electricity, instantly overheating the turian's shotgun. With no weapon to shoot back with, the turian took a swing at Shepard. Shepard ducked the punch, but before he could counter, a speeding hulk of red armor picked up the turian and slammed him into the wall. Shepard heard the turian's spine crack, but just to be sure, he placed the barrel of his pistol against the turian's head, and squeezed the trigger twice. Satisfied, he turned towards the quarian.

"Fist set me up! I knew I couldn't trust him!" She shouted.

"Were you hurt in the fight?" Shepard asked, concern etched onto his face.

"I know how to look after myself." The quarian replied with more than a bit of pride. "Not that I don't appreciate the help. Who are you?"

"My name's Shepard. I'm looking for evidence to prove Saren's a traitor." He said, holding out his hand.

"Then I may have some way to repay you for saving me." She answered, shaking his outstretched hand. "But not here, I want to go somewhere safe."

_I could think of a few ways to be repaid,_ the horny part of Shepard's mind said. _You realize she would die if she were outside that suit, right dumbass?_ The critical part of Shepard's mind had a scathing retort. _And if you don't mind, we have business to attend to right now._

"We could take her to the human embassy." Garrus suggested.

"Good idea." Shepard agreed. "Let's move out. Garrus, Wrex, keep your weapons out. I don't want any other would-be assassins making an attempt on the quarian's life."

"My name is Tali'Zorah nar Rayya." The quarian pouted.

"Ok, nice to meet you Tali." Shepard said. "The big krogan is Wrex, the skinny turian is Garrus, and they are both responsible for your continued well-being until we get you to the human embassy. Understood, you two?" He finished, checking the krogan and the turian for nods. Once they had nodded, all four moved out for the nearest elevator.

* * *

Back in Udina's office, Shepard's patience was beginning to wear thin.

"You're not making my life easy, Shepard. A firefight in the wards, an all-out assault on Chora's Den." Turning around, Udina stopped talking momentarily as he saw Shepard's company. "Who's this? A quarian? What are you up to, Shepard?"

_Forget feeding this asshole to a thresher maw. I want to feed him to a Sarlacc._ His frustration boiled over into his answer to Udina. "This quarian can help us bring down Saren. I would've told you that, if you hadn't jumped down my throat."

After Udina's hasty apology- _Not that he meant it, the lying sack of shit,_ Shepard thought to himself- Tali was able to speak.

"I was on my Pilgrimage, my rite of passage into adulthood."

"I've never heard of this before." Shepard said questioningly.

"It is a tradition among my people." She answered. "We leave the ships of our parents, and our people, behind. Alone, we search the stars, only returning to the flotilla once we have discovered something of value. In this way, we prove ourselves worthy of adulthood."

"What kinds of things do you look for?" Shepard asked, fascinated.

"It could be resources, like food or fuel. Occasionally someone will bring back a ship. Sometimes it is knowledge that will make life easier for the flotilla." She said in a patient tone. "Through our Pilgrimage, we prove that we will contribute to the community, rather than being a burden on our limited resources."

"Thank you." Shepard said politely. "Please, tell us what you found."

Tali nodded, and began her story. "During my travels I began hearing reports of geth. Since they drove my people into exile, they have never been seen beyond the Perseus Veil. I was curious. I tracked a patrol of geth to an unsettled world, and was able to kill one, capturing its memory core."

"I thought the geth fried their memory cores when they died. Some kind of defense mechanism." Anderson interjected.

"How did you manage to preserve the core?" Shepard asked Tali directly.

"My people created the geth. If you're quick, careful, and lucky, small portions of data can be saved." She shrugged modestly. "This time, I was able to secure a small bit of the geth's audio logs." Activating her omni-tool, a recording began to play.

"Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit!"

"That's Saren's voice. This proves he was involved in the attack!" Anderson exclaimed.

"He said Eden Prime brought him one step closer to finding the Conduit." Shepard pointed out. "Any idea what that means?"

"The Conduit must have something to do with the beacon. Maybe it's a piece of Prothean technology . . . like a weapon!" Anderson answered.

"There's more to the recording." Tali interrupted the two humans.

"Eden Prime was a major victory! The beacon has brought us one step closer to finding the Conduit!" The recording repeated. "And one step closer to the return of the Reapers." A chilling female voice followed Saren's.

"I don't recognize that other voice. The one talking about Reapers." Udina said, crossing his arms.

"Are they some kind of new alien species?" Shepard asked. _Why does that name sound so familiar?_

"According to the memory core, the Reapers were a hyper-advanced race of machines that existed 50,000 years ago. They hunted the Protheans to extinction. At least that's what the geth believe." Tali said with a shrug of her shoulders.

"Sounds a little far-fetched." Udina, as always, was willing to be the voice of the pessimists.

"The vision on Eden Prime – I understand it now. I saw the Protheans being wiped out by the Reapers." _Now I know why "Reaper" sounded so familiar!_

"The geth revere the Reapers as gods." Tali added. "They believe that Saren can bring them back."

"Oh, the Council is just going to love this!" Udina said sarcastically.

"The Reapers are a threat to every species in Citadel space." Shepard pointed out. _We have to try to warn the Council._

No matter what they think about the rest of this, the audio file proves Saren is a traitor!" Anderson's voice was excited at the thought of finally bringing Saren down.

"The Captain is right." Udina, for once, was agreeing with Anderson. "We must bring this information to the Council."

"What about the quarian?" Wrex spoke up from the back.

"My name is Tali!" Tali said angrily to Wrex. Turning her attention to Shepard, she said, "You saw me in the alley, Commander. You know what I can do. Let me come with you."

_A hot new alien friend? I'll take one. But wait, isn't she trying to become an adult? Does that mean she's still a "child?" Children should not be allowed to have bodies that look like __**that**__. How old is she, exactly? I should ask her later. Back to the matter at hand, though, I don't want to lose her, but I don't want to keep her from being able to rejoin her people._ "I thought you were on your Pilgrimage?"

"The Pilgrimage proves we are willing to give of ourselves for the greater good. What does it say about me if I turn my back on this?" She asked incredulously. "Saren is a danger to the entire galaxy. My pilgrimage can wait."

_Well, I guess if she's sure. And maybe she'll come across something she can bring back to her flotilla while tagging along._ "I'll take all the help I can get." He said aloud.

"Thanks." She said, moving to stand beside him. "You won't regret this."

Udina once again made himself the focus of attention. "Anderson and I will go ahead to get things ready with the Council. Take a few minutes to get yourself ready, then meet us there." Then he walked out of the office, leaving Shepard, Tali, Garrus, and Wrex standing there. _He is such a huge dick._ Shepard thought to himself. _Who am I gonna bring with me to the Council? I don't think we need four people, plus Udina and Anderson. Actually, this is an easy decision._

"Wrex, I'm gonna take these two with me to the Council. I figure Tali found the data, so she should definitely be there, and Garrus is a turian, so he has a personal stake in this. But stay in touch, because I have a feeling I might need someone with your special talents later."

"Shepard." Wrex turned and walked out the door.

"Come on, you two. Let's go get Saren kicked to the curb." Shepard and his team walked out of the human embassy, and headed for the Citadel Tower.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Rolling out his shoulder, Shepard was surprised at how good it felt. _That Dr. Michel is quite the doc. Not only is she easy on the eyes, but she knows her stuff. Fixed me up pretty good, and on the cheap no less. A guy could do worse. Hell, I have done worse._ He chuckled, then turned to his turian teammate. "Hey Garrus, where's the requisitions office? Anderson said it outfits both C-Sec and Spectres."

"If we go left, around the elevator that leads to the docking bay, there are some stairs that will take us down to the office." Garrus replied, pointing one long, taloned hand at a doorway next to the Citadel Rapid Transit stop. Shepard nodded his thanks, and then took the lead. In practically no time, they were standing in front of a turian surrounded by armor and weapon lockers.

"Is this the C-Sec requisitions office?" Shepard asked.

"One sec, looking you up." The turian didn't bother to look up at the commander. "Commander Shepard, here with the Alliance military. First time on the Citadel. That about right?"

"How did you know all that?" Shepard was astonished that the turian, whom he was certain he'd never met before, could rattle off that kind of information.

"I'm the C-Sec requisitions officer. It's my job to know who can get what." This was accompanied by a lackadaisical shrug. "So, will you be purchasing anything today, Commander Shepard?"

"Show me what you've got." Shepard responded.

"Sounds good. Let me just set you up . . . whoa, this can't be right." The turian's face showed substantial surprise. "The system's telling me to offer you the special stocks . . . Spectre. Well . . . I'd heard about that, but I didn't realize it was you. Sorry, Commander."

_No apology required, man. I'm still trying to come to terms with it myself. All of a sudden I'm a Spectre, and I get to go chasing after Saren. He better run fast, because when I catch him, I'm putting a bullet in his scaly ass. And his head. Maybe a few in his head, just to make sure. But for now, I wanna see what being a Spectre gets __me._ "It's alright. Just show me what you've got."

"I'll open the rare stocks for you, Commander. Enjoy."

_The Council sure knows how to pick their gear, don't they? These are some A-level toys. I've never seen these HMWs before. How have I never seen them before? They're phenomenal!_ "Mr. C-Sec requisitions officer?" Shepard began. _Shit. I didn't even bother to find out this guy's name. Nice job, asshole._ "Er, actually, what's your name?"

"My name is Viagho. Viagho Korkari." The human held out his hand. _I don't think I'll ever understand the human obsession with shaking hands. It's just unnecessary physical contact. I should be polite, however, and try to show this human some manners. I know a lot of them still hold grudges towards turians over the Relay 314 incident._ The turian took the proffered hand and shook it. "I'm surprised Garrus didn't tell you my name. We used to work together, in a manner of speaking."

Garrus looked up from his conversation with Tali when he heard his name. "Wait, that Viagho? I didn't think it would be you! Who did you piss off to get stuck down here?"

"It's a long story, Garrus. The short version is that I set up a sting without the 'proper' authorization. Executor Pallin created some new regulations, and my operation was time-sensitive. Thus, I find myself in the Pit."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Viagho. I managed to get out from under Pallin. I'm working with Shepard now, to take down Saren." There was a hint of pride in Garrus's voice as he said this.

"Good for you. I know a lot of people think humans are too pushy, but that's no excuse for attacking them."

"I'm glad to hear you say that, Viagho." Shepard stepped in. "But I wanted to ask you a coupla questions about these weapons."

"Right, Commander." Viagho looked chagrined at having been distracted from his duties. "What can I do for you?"

"I've been around the block a few times, but I've never seen anything like these HMWs." Shepard admitted. "Can you tell me more about them? Who makes them? Why haven't I seen them before? Why are they so expensive?"

"Certainly." Viagho said, his mandibles fluttering in amusement. "The reason most people haven't heard about these weapons is because they are exclusively available to Spectres. And all Spectre gear is biometrically protected."

"What does that mean, exactly?" Shepard interrupted.

"It means that the gun won't fire if anyone but the registered user tries to use it." Viagho explained. "The exterior of the gun will also discharge a powerful electric shock if anyone but the registered user touches it."

"What kind of an electric shock are we talking about, exactly?" Shepard asked, intrigued. "Is this the kind of shock my omni-tool gives me if I won't get outta bed in the morning, or the kind of shock I get from licking an ionized plasma popsicle?"

"I've never heard of a plasma popsicle." Viagho said, confusion all over his face.

"It's just an expression. I've never seen one either." Shepard answered, smiling.

"I see." _Humans and their humor. I just do not understand them sometimes._ Viagho thought to himself. Aloud, he told Shepard, "It's the kind of shock that can stop your heart. Literally. I've seen a salarian die because he wanted to take home a 'bonus' from work." Shaking his head at the memory, Viagho continued. "Unfortunately for him, he picked the wrong pistol to steal."

"Did he work here?" Shepard inquired.

"Yes."

"Then how come it shocked him? Was that one already sold to someone?" _If it was just sitting in the storage area or stockroom, I don't understand why it would react that way._

"No, no one had purchased the weapon yet." Viagho was unsure of how to explain the way the HMW defense mechanisms worked. "Think of it this way: the gun is going to shock everyone. It refrains from doing so if it recognizes your biometrics."

"Oh, I get it." Shepard said. "So basically, its default setting is to zap people, but having your biometrics in the gun overrides that default."

"Yes, that's a good way of looking at it." Viagho said, somewhat surprised at the ease with which the human had grasped the concept. _Maybe there's hope for them yet._

"Alright, that explains why I haven't seen them around before. But who makes them? And why are they so damn expensive?"

"The answers to those questions are related." Viagho's statement was met with an expectant look from Shepard, so he continued. "Spectre weapons are prototypes, made by different companies around the galaxy. No company makes more than one type of weapon. For example, a company, if it makes HMWs, will only be making shotguns, or pistols, or ARs, or sniper rifles. And any company that produces an HMW is under an incredibly strict non-disclosure agreement. Talking about what weapon you make, or even saying that you make one of the HMWs, would be met with swift and unpleasant action by the Council."

"What kind of action are we talking about?" Shepard asked. _What's the Council gonna do? Make 'em stop producing the guns? Fine them? Big whoop. Maybe have them killed? Nah. The Council's just a bunch of big fucking pussies._

"No one knows." Viagho answered with a shrug. "To my knowledge, no one has ever tried to test the Council, or their conviction, by talking about HMW production. That is why they are so expensive. The technology they put into these weapons makes each one a prototype. That's what makes them so powerful, and expensive."

"If you say so." Shepard admitted reluctantly. "But we're talking almost a million credits for four guns. A million credits! Don't Spectres get weapons for free?"

Viagho shook his head at the human commander's naivety. "No. Members of the Spectres are always a part of their race's military, and that military is responsible for outfitting their Spectres with whatever weapons they need."

"Huh." Shepard asked, looking a little crestfallen. _The Alliance is chock full of penny-pinchers. There's no way I can get approval for a million creds worth of weaponry, not when it only outfits one person. Damn. Looks like I need to make some more money. Spectres can do all kinds of extra-legal jobs, though, right? I'm sure I'll be rolling in dough before too long. Actually, I should look into 'maximizing' the money I get ahold of, too. Maybe that financial guy Anderson mentioned earlier, the Shadow Broker stooge, can help with that. I should go have a chat with him after I finish up here._

"Well, thanks for the info, Viagho." Shepard smiled at the turian. "I'm gonna go look into 'procuring' some money, and I'll be back. Sometime soon, hopefully."

"Good-bye, Commander." Viagho said as Shepard led Tali and Garrus out of the office and back towards the Rapid Transit station.

* * *

Shepard walked out of Barla Von's office in good cheer. In fact, he was practically whistling.

_I have a feeling I'm gonna see my portfolio skyrocket. I know I'm not as rich as some of his other clients, but being a Spectre has gotta bring in a lot of miscellaneous credits from some pretty shady sources. I was never good at investing or saving money. This way I can send it all to that little guy, and he'll take care of the rest. I'm definitely gonna check in with the Alliance, too, and see if I can get a bonus or something. First human Spectre, baby! Time to get paid!_

"Um, Shepard?"

"Yes Tali?"

"Are you feeling ok? You're acting kind of, uh, strange."

"I'm right as rain, Tali. I'm just excited to start going after Saren. Let's go see what Udina and Anderson cooked up, the crazy bastards. How does that sound?"

"Um, fine?" _Has he taken complete leave of his senses? Why is he asking for my opinion?_

"Come on, Tali!" He crowed. "Show a little confidence! If you want to come with me, I have to know you've got my back. You've gotta know what you want, what you want to do! I don't wanna get my ass shot off while you're trying to decide if you should shoot the walking flashlights."

_I don't want your ass to get shot off, either. It is a rather nice ass. I wonder if it feels nice, as well?_

"Earthling-to-Tali!" Shepard interrupted her thoughts. "You will shoot the flashlights, right? I brought you along because I think you have what it takes. It wasn't supposed to be a real head-scratcher of a question."

"Oh, right. Yes, I'll shoot the geth." Tali responded. "Definitely!" She added belatedly, trying to sound confident. _I shouldn't allow myself to be distracted that easily. It must be the stress of the day._

"Good." He replied with a smile. "I'm glad to have you with me, Ms. Zorah. Or is it Ms. Nar Rayya?"

Tali laughed. _Oh no, what if he thinks I am laughing at him? I am, but it's because he's being cute. Even if he doesn't know it._ Covering her mouth with her hands to try to muffle the laughter, she took in his amused smile. _Good, he doesn't seem upset. I should try to explain, though._ "Tali is my given name, and Zorah is my clan name, which is similar, I think, to your surnames. 'Nar' means 'child of.' And the Rayya was the ship I was born on. So my name translates roughly to Tali'Zorah, child of the Rayya."

"That's really cool." Shepard nodded his approval. "After you complete your Pilgrimage, you said you become an adult, right?" She nodded her assent. "So will you get a different name at that point?"

"Yes." _I'm surprised he picked up on that so quickly. Most other species never ask. Although, most other species avoid us like a plague._ "If I am accepted into a new ship, I would become 'vas,' meaning 'crew of.' My formal name would then be Tali'Zorah nar Rayya vas, and then the ship's name. Of course, I don't know what that name would be, yet."

"Of course." Shepard parroted with a grin. "You said 'if' you get accepted into a new ship. You mean you might be rejected from returning to the Flotilla?"

_He really listens._ Tali was genuinely surprised. _I've never met anyone who paid so much attention to me. I wonder why he does._ "Technically, a captain can refuse the gift offered by someone returning from their Pilgrimage. In practice, though, this hardly ever happens. Most quarians would be ashamed to present a substandard gift, and most captains like having as many people on board their ships as possible. It shows that that captain can be trusted, and is respected."

"That makes sense." Shepard said, nodding as he digested her comments. "It's kinda like the way COs want to have the fewest transfer-out requests. It means they're doing their job the right way."

"I think you're right." Tali agreed. But I can't say for certain, because I don't really know anything about the Alliance."

"If you'd like, I can teach you." Shepard offered.

_I'd like that a lot._ Tali thought to herself. Aloud, she said, "That might be useful."

Shrugging, Shepard turned away from her and made for the elevator to C-Sec.

Internally, Tali was struggling to understand Shepard's meaning. _Was he shrugging because he agreed with me? Or did he think I was trying to refuse without hurting his feelings? I really would like to spend more time with him, even if that means learning about the Alliance. And it would be nice to know more about humanity._ She sighed in frustration._ Why are humans so hard to understand?_


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays/Have a Good Day, whichever you prefer.

Chapter 7

_I can't believe it. Udina just shoved the Captain aside, and gave his ship to me. I bet he'll do the same to me when I outlive my usefulness. I wonder when his ego will be satisfied? Seat on the Council? Emperor of humanity? Supreme mugwump of the goddamn universe? Ha. I don't think his ego __**has**__ limits._ Snorting to himself, Shepard got up from his bed and moved over to his personal terminal.

_I've got a couple hours 'til we hit Feros. I have plenty of time to check my mail, see if the Alliance sent me a bonus like Anderson hinted they would. Speaking of Feros, I hope I made the right choice going there first. My priority has to be to protect human colonists. If the colony's gone dark, something bad is probably happening. As for Benezia's daughter, I'm sure she'll be fine. If she's in cahoots with her mommy, the Artemis Tau Cluster's probably a trap. Even if her and Benezia aren't really seeing eye to eye, there's no way Benezia would put her daughter in danger, right? I mean, what kind of parent would do something like that? Things will work out. I'm sure. I hope. Probably?_ Shepard input the necessary information, and his list of messages popped up on the display.

_Figures. Nothing from the Alliance. I didn't really expect them to be quick with giving me money, but I was kinda hoping. And look. Three messages from Beth. Oh how nice, the first one's from all of two minutes after our vid-chat ended. Let's see what that one says, then work our way up from there._ Shepard clicked on the first message indicator.

"Spike!

How could you hang up on me?! Don't you understand how worried I am!? I know you didn't like hearing what I had to say, but it's the truth. You've always been Alliance-first, everything else second. Two months ago you disappeared, telling me 'I'll be gone for a while, communication will be sporadic at best, but don't worry, I'll let you know when I get back and we'll get together for some R&R." A week ago, you tell me you've got some leave and we're gonna spend the whole weekend together. Then you run off, on some mission again. We're supposed to be in a relationship, Spike. That means we communicate and don't keep secrets from each other. I'm starting to wonder if you're capable of doing that.

Don't bother responding.

Bethany"

_Doesn't she think I would tell her if I could?_ Shepard felt his temper starting to bubble to the surface again. _Some of the things I find out on duty could get people in trouble, and get me thrown in prison. Forever. And does she think I had a choice about going on that mission to Eden Prime? I was ordered out. The Alliance didn't __**ask**__ if I felt like going on a mission. They sent me where they needed me, my feelings be damned. She should know that, she's in the Alliance too. Soldiers do their duty first, and ask questions later. Brian understood that._ Shepard's expression became sorrowful as he remembered his dead friend. Clicking on the next message, he felt his anger abate, a little.

"Spike,

I saw on the news that they made you the first human Spectre. We've shared too much for me to let it pass without at least saying something. So congratulations. I'm still not ready to talk about what happened the other night though.

Bye,

Beth"

_Well that could have been worse. She could have ignored me completely. Hopefully this means she's starting to calm down a little bit._ He clicked on the last message.

"My parents are dead. I just received the Alliance Next of Kin notification.

You know what? The day you met Brian at boot camp, the day you came into our lives, was a terrible day for the Lees! You've destroyed my family! First you killed Brian, and now you killed my parents. You were on Eden Prime. You could have saved them! You could have tried to help them! But you didn't! You didn't even try to check on them. In fact, I bet you never even thought of my family while you were running around that God-forsaken rock, because you were too damn busy being the same egotistical son of a bitch you've always been! The great, holier-than-thou Commander Shepard! Well congratulations, **Spectre**! I hope your new title, and your new job as the Council's lapdog, was worth it. Because it cost me my entire family."

Shepard was shocked. Shocked beyond words, shocked even beyond thoughts. Her accusations, and the hate and vitriol she had spewed at him, cut him to the bone. _I don't- I can't- How-? I can't deal with this right now. I have a mission to prepare for._ Compartmentalizing the agony in his heart, Shepard erected a thick, solid wall between the pain and his duty. _Duty first, everything else second._ He thought to himself, getting up to leave his office. _I should go tell Garrus and Tali they're coming with me, so they can get ready. I should probably get ready too._ Shoulders bowed from the effort of keeping his private life and his job separate, he made his way to the elevator.

* * *

_Great. More fucking geth. How many of these metallic bastards does Saren have? I'm starting to get tired of the never-ending stream of walking toasters. And what's up with those weird jumpy ones? Goddamn crazy-ass frogs or some shit. Plus, how come I have to do everything for these people? They all just stand around, acting like they're fucking stoned or something. "Urr, our power's out, can you help?" "Duh, we have no water, can you help?" "I'm afraid of the big bad varren, can you kill it for me because I'm a giant weasel?" "There are geth everywhere, think you can take care of some of them for us?" No shit the geth are everywhere. They're here to kill your ass or something similarly terrible, not have tea and motherfucking scones._

"Commander, I'm fine with fighting geth, but krogan?" Garrus interrupted Shepard's reverie. "I don't favor our odds in one-on-one battles against krogan. That last engagement was very close."

_You're telling me, man._ Shepard silently agreed. _If we don't kill them outright, wounding them only seems to piss them off._ Aloud, he said, "What's the matter Garrus, scared of a few krogan? I thought your people neutered them once already. Aren't you just carrying on that proud tradition?"

"To be clear, Commander, the salarians created the genophage. We just helped them deploy it." Garrus said, clearly affronted.

"Oh, cheer up, you old coot. I'm just giving you a hard time. It's something I do. So get used to it." Shepard replied, playfully jabbing Garrus in the shoulder. "But look, we found what the krogan were guarding. Seems geth-ish, to me. Thoughts, Tali?"

"It appears to be a geth transmitter, Shepard." She confirmed. "Destroying it should prevent the geth from mounting organized attacks or defenses, making it easier to kill them."

"Well, I am all for making it easier to kill geth. You sound like you approve, too." Tali nodded. "How about you, Garrus? Will dumbing down the geth make up for you having to fight the big, scary krogan?" Shepard looked over at Garrus, grinning widely.

"Sounds good to me, Commander." Garrus said, grinning back at Shepard. "But won't that make our job too easy?"

"Well, yes." Shepard acknowledged, appearing to be thinking deeply about his next course of action. "But, I feel kinda lazy today, to tell the truth. So I'm gonna make my job easier. The Council didn't tell me I had to fight fair."

"You two are insane." Tali commented, shaking her head.

"The jury's out." Shepard said, smiling from ear to ear. Then he reached down to his belt and pulled up a grenade. "You two might want to find some cover. It's about to get loud."

Clicking the center of the grenade, he tossed it at the transmitter, where it started revolving around the tower like a small, very destructive moon. _I should make sure this thing gets destroyed beyond repair. If one grenade is good, two must be better._ Reaching down to his waist, he pulled off another grenade, activated it, and tossed it at the transmitter. Taking cover, he tapped in a command on his omni-tool, and the grenades exploded, reducing the geth tower to tiny, leaf-sized scrap.

"Wasn't two grenades overkill, Commander?" Garrus asked after the explosion had stopped echoing.

"Bitch please. No such thing as overkill, Garrus." Shepard said, shaking his head at the turian's naïveté. "There's only dead, and not dead. I like to make sure that anybody who fucks with me ends up face down in the former camp."

* * *

"Well Fai Dan, your colony's problems are solved. Water's on, power's good, and varren's back on the menu, baby. And the geth have been hamstrung. So what's the best way to get over to ExoGeni HQ?"

"Take the elevator up to the Prothean skyway. That will take you all the way to the ExoGeni offices."

"Thanks, Fai Dan. Try not to get killed by the geth while we're gone." Turning to Garrus and Tali, he motioned for them to follow him to the elevator.

"Do you have any idea what we're going to find up there?" Tali asked, worry in her voice.

"Not a clue." Shepard replied happily. "Although if I were a betting man, I'd put money on more geth."

* * *

"I'm glad I didn't take that bet against you, Commander. You would have cleaned me out." Garrus said, after blasting yet another geth into scrap using the Mako's main gun.

"Well, what can I say? When I'm right, I'm right." Shepard said with a grin, putting his foot to the floor once again.

"Contacts front-right, Commander!" Tali shouted out from her co-pilots seat, where she was keeping an eye on the radar, as well as the shields and armor status of the Mako.

"Where?" Shepard asked immediately, throwing the tank into reverse.

"They've vanished, Commander." Tali said, hurriedly tapping commands into the radar. "I don't know what happened. It's possible the radar's malfunctioning."

"No, I don't think that's it. This is a brand new Mako. First time she's been out in the field aside from testing."

"It's possible it's experiencing some sort of 'break-in' period, Commander." Garrus put his two cents in from the gunner's seat.

"First of all Garrus, this baby's a 'she,' not an 'it.'" Shepard pointed out petulantly. "Secondly, Makos don't 'break-in.' Makos have an amazing tendency to work perfectly no matter what abuse you put them through, right up until they explode. So since we're all still in one piece, she's fine."

"Do Makos explode often, Commander?" Tali was obviously nervous, given the quaver in her voice and her hands that were tangled in front of her.

"Nah." Shepard answered dismissively. "I've never had one explode on me yet." Patting her shoulder reassuringly, he gave her an encouraging smile. "And since I see what looks like a passageway into the underbelly of this highway, I'm thinking the Mako doesn't have any problems anywhere, and she was just picking up a couple of geth hiding in ambush. Who feels like ambushing the ambushers?"

No one spoke. Unabashed, Shepard got up from his seat and exited the Mako. Shaking his head, Garrus followed him out. Tali brought up the rear with a sigh. Nonplussed by their lack of enthusiasm, Shepard rubbed his hands together then pulled out his pistol. Checking his teammates, he saw that Garrus had his AR in his hands, and Tali was clutching her shotgun. Putting his right index finger up, he made a circling motion with his hand and started to head towards the doorway.

"Um, Shepard?" Tali whispered into the comms.

"What is it Tali?" Shepard answered, casting a look back over his shoulder at his motionless teammates.

"What does this-" she put up her own finger and swirled her hand around "-mean?"

_Crap._ Shepard cursed. _Tali's not military, she's not gonna understand military hand signals. Or is it a species thing?_ "Garrus, do you know?"

"Not really." The turian replied with a shrug. "I thought maybe you were telling us to jump up and down a couple of times."

"Sarcasm. Nice." Shepard answered, with some sarcasm of his own. "I thought turians were supposed to respect their superiors."

"You're my commanding officer, Commander. You haven't showed me that you're superior." Garrus replied with a smirk.

"And again. You and I will be having a little chat when we get back onboard the Normandy, Mr. Vakarian." Shepard was pleased to see the turian's smirk turn into a worried grimace. _Ha. Two can play that game, Skully. Hmm. Not a bad nickname for Garrus. Might have to think about it some more, at a calmer time. Try saying it a few times. That's definitely better left for later though. Don't want to tell the geth who's coming to kick their ass now do we?_ Turning back to Tali, he said aloud, "It means follow me. Because we're moving out?" She nodded. "I'll get everybody together back when we get back to the ship and go over some standard human nonverbal comm signals. Thanks for bringing that to my attention, though."

Tali got a warm feeling under her suit. _I'm glad he didn't yell at me. He even gave me a compliment! I think. But I feel bad for Garrus. I didn't mean to get him in trouble._

"Let's go." Shepard said. "The poor geth are probably wondering what's taking us so long to walk into their trap."

Moving forward, the trio stepped into the darkened corridor. Almost immediately, geth pulse rifles opened up from the other end of the hallway, peppering their shields.

"Take cover!" Shepard shouted, racing forward and diving behind a crate. "Everybody good?"

"I'm fine, Commander." Garrus answered.

"I'm okay, Shepard." Tali replied.

"Good. Tali, see if you can hack one of them, preferably one of the ones in the back, without taking too many hits. If your shields start to fail, take cover immediately. Garrus, we're gonna overload the shields on the front two geth. On my mark." Readying his omni-tool, Shepard paused to give Garrus time to do the same. "3, 2, 1, go!" Shepard leaned out from his cover, and Garrus poked his head over his own cover. Two brilliant blue spheres of electricity crackled over two of the geth, dropping their shields. Opening fire with his pistol, Shepard pulled the trigger until one of the geth's heads exploded in a shower of sparks. In his peripheral vision, he saw Garrus's geth fall to the ground with a messy hole through its chestplate, before a hail of bullets from the other three geth forced him back into cover.

Suddenly the rounds stopped striking his cover, but the sounds of firing didn't stop. Chancing another quick look, he saw that the three geth were shooting each other. "Nice work, Tali! Let's finish them off!" The three-man team all began firing at once, decisively ending the battle.

After the last geth fell, the three left their covers and advanced, looking around with weapons still drawn to ensure they didn't miss any geth. Confirming the lack of hostiles, all three shipped their weapons. "Quick and dirty. Just the way I like it." Shepard said, turning to walk back to the Mako. "Nice job with that hacking, Tali. That trick sure makes my life easier."

"Thank you, Commander." She responded, grinning widely underneath her helmet. "It's a good thing we killed them quickly, though. I don't think my hacking skills can keep a geth confused for long."

"That's ok." Shepard said with a shrug. "Something tells me you'll get more than enough practice if you keep hanging around me. And Garrus, perfect timing on that overload. I think those two idiots were close enough that our attacks overlapped, totally frying their systems. Perfect!"

Garrus only nodded. _I'm sure he's trying to soften the blow from having to reprimand me, but he was right. He's my commanding officer, and I'm supposed to show him the proper respect. Father would disapprove. As soon as we're back to the ship, I'll present myself to him and apologize._

Getting back in the Mako, the team continued to move relentlessly towards the other end of the skyway. They stopped twice more to clear out subterranean geth, both times working quickly and efficiently. Shepard directed their fire and tech attacks, and the other two executed his directions to the letter.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"I think we're getting close to the end of this road, Commander." Tali said, looking up from the radar.

"Why?" Shepard asked while ramming a geth and sending it cart wheeling out over the edge of the skyway.

"Radar is picking up a cluster of energy signatures 300 meters in front of us. It's probably a group of geth trying to guard the other end of the skyway."

"Thanks Tali. Any idea how many?"

"At least six, Commander."

"Six? That's nothing." Shepard said confidently. "Garrus, Tali says we're about to run into a welcoming party. As soon as we're in range, open fire."

"I understand, Commander." Garrus said, checking his optical zoom level and making sure the main gun was ready to fire.

The Mako popped up over a small rise in the skyway, revealing one hell of a "welcoming party." Two squads of regular geth supported two geth armatures and four rocket-wielding geth primes. The multi-species team inside the Mako experienced a brief moment of nearly identical panic.

_Oh shit!_ "Tali, I thought you said six! My eyes are telling me there's more than twice that many out there!" Shepard shouted, slaloming the Mako back and forth in an effort to avoid the first wave of rockets.

_Keelah!_ "I'm sorry Shepard; the radar must have been unable to separate them into individual geth. The armatures are firing!"

_By the spirits!_ "That's a lot of targets, Commander!"

"I know, Garrus. Take out those rocket troopers first, then shift fire to the armatures. I'll deal with the other ones. Thanks for the warning, Tali. I'm gonna need to know about it every time our shields drop by 10%, ok? 90, 80, 70, and so on. Got it? Do whatever you can to keep those shields up as long as you can."

"Affirmative, Commander." Garrus replied, firing the main gun and staggering one of the primes.

"Got it, Shepard." Tali said, quickly followed by two loud sizzles blasting the outside of the Mako. "Shields at 89%." She added.

"Already?" Shepard groaned as he took in the rapidly deteriorating situation. There were three incoming rockets, two geth siege pulses from the armatures, and a lot of small arms fire all headed directly for him and his team. "Make sure you're strapped in tight, boys and girls. Shit's about to get rough."

The next thirty seconds passed in a maelstrom of juking, deking, rocking, explosions, and almost constant shield updates from Tali. The barrel of both the Mako's main gun and machine cannon were glowing red hot from the barrage of fire Garrus was sending out, trying to tip the scales in their favor. Tali's hands were flying over the Mako's consoles, searching for any way to bolster the shields. Shepard was sweating in his suit, struggling to force the Mako to bob and weave for everything it was worth. And it wasn't enough.

"Shields at 10%!" Tali yelled.

"Fuck." Shepard cursed. He used the Mako's thrusters to jump over a geth siege pulse, but the armature's machine gun continued to hammer the Mako, as did the small arms fire from the four regular geth who still stood. Shepard had been unable to close the distance enough to use the Mako as a battering ram, focusing instead on trying to avoid as much of the heavy weapons fire as possible.

The Mako hit the ground and lurched forward, heading for the curved edge of the skyway. At the same time, the armature raised itself to launch another siege pulse.

"We've lost shields, Shepard!" Tali's voice was hysterical, and her words made the bottom drop out of Shepard's stomach. "We can't take another hit from that geth!"

"Everything's overheated, Commander!" Garrus shouted, desperately pulling the triggers. "I can't take it down!"

The armature's shot was going to broadside the Mako, and Shepard was out of options. He took in the scene and analyzed the situation, as time seemed to slow around him. _We only have one option. If I try to jump that shot, we're going over the edge. If that thing hits us, we die. If I fuck up this maneuver, we die. Stupidest fucking thing I've ever tried, but it's our only shot._ Decision made, Shepard slammed the accelerator again, driving hard for the nothingness that lay beyond the skyway.

"Incoming!" Garrus yelled as the armature fired.

"Look out!" Tali yelled as the Mako careened towards the edge of the skyway.

"Hold on!" Shepard yelled as the Mako caught the lip of the skyway and started to go up and over the edge.

Tali's heart stopped as she looked down into the clouds below. _Ancestors, please don't let it hurt. I'll be with you soon, Mother. Good bye, Father._

Garrus, for his part, was unaware of where the Mako was pointing. As a result, he wasn't in fear of the impending long drop followed by a sudden stop. He was more concerned with the blue, crackling siege pulse that was about to hit them, and destroy the Mako and its cargo. _I'm sorry I wasn't the man you wanted me to be, Father. May the Spirits watch over you, Mother, and Solana._

_Come on baby, give me every bit of boost you've got. Right . . . now!_ Shepard put everything he had into hitting the thrusters. The Mako took to the air like a swallow, rolling over in midair as the geth pulse passed harmlessly below them. As the wheels started to come back under the vehicle, Shepard quickly eyeballed the landing spot.

_Oh you've gotta be kidding. Are we really gonna land __**on**__ the fucking armature? Fuckity fuck fuck._

The Mako crashed down onto the armature with a crunch, rocking up and down on its suspension. Before the vehicle could come to a rest, Shepard slammed the accelerator again. The Mako's wheels spun wildly, searching for purchase on the slick carapace of the geth. The armature started to struggle back to its feet, tilting the Mako towards the ground. As soon as the Mako's front wheels hit the concrete, the Mako jerked forward, mobile again. Shepard instantly slewed the wheel all the way to the left, forcing the Mako into a vicious 90-degree turn.

The Mako jumped forward like a slapped horse, quickly reaching the four remaining regular geth, who had started to turn to re-engage the vehicle. But before they could fire a single round, the full weight of the Mako slammed into them, sending them flying up and out, into the vast empty air of Feros. At the same moment, Shepard simultaneously activated both the brake and emergency brake, prayed the brakes would stop the vehicle, and shouted at Garrus. "Shoot that motherfucker!"

Garrus didn't reply verbally, instead choosing to line up the armature in his crosshairs and pull both triggers, ending the threat for good.

Inside the Mako, all was quiet except for the creaking of the suspension and the clunk as another round was loaded in the main cannon. Suddenly, Shepard started laughing as the insanity of what they had just done set in. The other two joined him, Tali holding her belly and gasping for breath, while Garrus's head, shoulders, and mandibles were all shaking with his laughter. After a long minute, they finally quieted down.

"You're insane, do you know that Commander?" Tali asked exasperatedly.

"More importantly, how did you do that?" Garrus demanded. "How did you make a Mako fly?"

"Well, it was easy." Shepard said with fake modesty. "I just aimed at the edge of the skyway, hit the gas, then popped the thrusters when we were at an angle. Boom, barrel roll."

"But how did manage to aim for the geth?" Garrus still couldn't believe they had managed to crush the armature, keeping it from firing another siege pulse at them while the main gun cooled.

"Well, ya see, I analyzed the angle of the curve on the skyway and checked the internal gyrometer to determine our rate of spin while measuring the distance to-"

"Bullshit." Tali interrupted him. Now that she knew they were safe, her relief at being alive was starting to give way to anger at Shepard's insane maneuvering. "You're lying, and there is no way you could have known you would land on the geth."

"Why Miss Zorah, are you doubting your Commander?" Shepard said, feigning surprise. _Actually, I am surprised. I didn't expect her to swear quite so readily. She seems so, sorta, young, and innocent. I guess maybe she's not quite as innocent as I thought._

"No, I'm not **doubting** you, Commander. I'm **telling** you that there is no way you were aiming for the geth."

"Ouch, Tali, that hurts. Even if you are right. Shouldn't you be happy we're alive?" A frown crossed Shepard's face.

"I am happy we're alive. But we shouldn't have been that close to dying! Trying to jump over a siege pulse is absolutely insane!"

_Ya know, I'm starting to get really annoyed with women shouting at me. First Beth, now Tali. No, wait, I'm not __**starting**__ to get annoyed, I'm just annoyed. Full stop. And I'm about at my limit for getting yelled at by women, no matter how pretty they may be._ "Fine." He spoke again, turning the Mako for the doorway and accelerating. "I'll keep your poor opinion of my ability to keep you safe in mind next time I'm picking a ground team. I'm sure Wrex won't mind a little danger."

Garrus wisely decided to remain silent, while Tali tried to stammer out an apology. "Shepard . . . I . . . But . . ." She trailed off when Shepard didn't look at her. M_aybe I did overreact a little, but I didn't mean __**that**__. I still want to go out on missions with him, but even he has to admit that what he tried was crazy. Right? We almost fell to our deaths. He can't think that's a good thing, can he?_

* * *

Finally, they made it back on-board the Normandy. After waiting through the decontamination cycle, Shepard gestured for the Garrus and Tali to leave him with Joker.

"Garrus. Have Ashley, Kaidan, and Wrex meet us in the comm room. I want to have a debriefing session with the whole team."

"Yessir." Garrus gave him a quick salute and headed for the comm room. _I can tell he's still upset. He hasn't spoken to Tali other than to direct her tech attacks since she yelled at him in the Mako. I should get the team together, and quickly. I don't want to give him another reason to reprimand me. Then, after the debrief, I'll go talk to him and ask him how he is going to handle my insubordination. I really hope he doesn't drop me back at the Citadel. I want to help him catch Saren more than I've ever wanted anything before in my life. I wonder what Father would say about that? Probably that it is yet another indicator of my lack of discipline. Or maybe that I'm being a bad turian because a good turian keeps his head down and does his duty, doesn't go off in pursuit of glory. Why can't he understand that it __**is**__ my duty to help stop a traitor to our race? If I don't do it, who will?_ Deep in thought, he didn't notice Tali slinking along beside him, her head hung low.

"Joker. Ready to get out of here?"

"Aw, why do we have to leave, Commander? I was really starting to like it here. It has everything: a plant that can control your mind, zombie people, and a corporation that thinks its profits are more important than its people. I was hoping we could join the colony." Joker rolled his eyes.

"Well Joker, it **used** to have a mind-controlling plant, but I killed it. And I don't think the plant woulda posed much of a threat to you anyway." Shepard's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"You wound me, Commander." Joker said, clutching his chest. "Was there a reason you wanted to talk to me that didn't involve hurting my feelings?"

"Yes." Shepard nodded his head as he spoke. "Get us to the Artemis Tau Cluster, ASAP. My gut tells me I shouldn't have spent so much time helping out the colony."

"For what it's worth, Commander, I think you did the right thing." Joker was momentarily serious. "Those people had it rough, and there's no telling what would have happened if you hadn't shown up. And if you don't mind me asking, if you wanted to hurry and get to finding the Thorian so we could get off this planet, why did you take the time to knock the colonists out? Wouldn't it have been faster to kill them?"

"It would have been." Shepard acknowledged with a look down at his pilot. "But I couldn't kill innocent people. Their only crime was colonizing a world run by a bunch of ruthless bastards."

"I'm glad, Commander." Joker agreed, before his normal personality returned. "And I bet the ExoGeni people just hate you for killing the Thorian. Probably cost them a shit ton of money." Pausing, Joker cracks a wide grin. "Plus, you got to mindmeld with a smokin' hot asari. That alone should make this place worthwhile."

"You're probably right about the ExoGeni thing, Joker." The Commander said, mirth momentarily lighting up in his eyes. "But as for the asari, it wasn't sexy at all. Wasn't even fun. She was kinda slimy from being inside, like, a Thorian pus pod. And the mindmeld was a pain in the ass. Or should I say brain." He cracked a grin that failed to reach his eyes this time. "Getting the history of an entire species crammed into your brain is not fun. I felt like I was gonna pass out for a while. I'm just now getting my sense of equilibrium back."

"Huh. Maybe she's just better at it than you? Does that happen often, Commander?" Joker's eyes glinted with juvenile joy.

"A gentleman never kisses and tells, Helmsman." Shepard responded, trying to put some malice into his voice, but failing. _My heart's just not in it today. I'm too tired, and it was a good dig. Point to Joker, this time._ "After the debriefing, set me up with a comm link to the Council. Then once we jump, gimme an ETA to Artemis Tau and a two-hour warning. Thanks."

"Sounded like a yes to me." Joker mumbled to himself after the Commander had walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Shepard's report to the Council did not go well. The salarian got on his nerves because he was upset that the Thorian had been killed. The turian pissed him off because he accused Shepard of being human-centric. And the asari had been her usual haughty, supercilious self. That was always annoying; no matter what kind of mood Shepard was in. Now he was sitting in his darkened cabin reading the messages from Bethany again, trying to come to terms with what she had accused him of.

_This probably isn't the best time to be reading these damn things again. I'm already pissed off and in no mood for her bullshit. But I have to figure out what I'm gonna do about it. If I just blow her off, she's undoubtedly gonna get more pissed at me, and it's probably gonna end the relationship. But it's the easiest thing to do. If I message her back and tell her we're done, I don't know what it'll do to her. It would save me some trouble, but can I really put her through losing her parents, and her boyfriend, within the span of a few days? I don't know. I could also send her a message being all polite and contrite, and apologize, and tell her I love her, and all that other schmoozy crap. I'm sure that would make her feel better, but it'd make me wanna slit my own throat. I didn't do anything wrong, I have nothing to apologize for, and she shouldn't be blaming me for what happened. I also don't know if I love her, that way._

His deliberation was interrupted by a new message notification. _Damn her straight to hell! What else can she possibly have to get pissed off at me about? God damn mother-fucking pain in my ass. Oh, it's from the Alliance._ His train of thought abruptly jumped the track as he read the brief message.

"Commander Shepard,

In recognition of your status as the first human Spectre, and the importance of your mission, the SSV Normandy SR1 is placed under your command, and detached from the formal Alliance chain of command. Your personal status with the Alliance is designated as 'On Special Assignment.' Additionally, you are granted a one-time outlay of 200,000 credits for use as you see fit.

Systems Alliance High Command."

"Woo hoo!" Shepard exclaimed, pumping his fist in the air. "Money for me, bitches!" _Not as much money as I would have hoped, but more than I feared. I'm gonna call it a win. And damn, did I need a win something fierce._

A knock on his door prevented Shepard from getting up and dancing a jig. Instead, he stood up and moved towards the door. "Enter." He called out.

The door slid open to reveal a chagrined-looking Garrus. "Commander."

"Mr. Vakarian. Come on in." As Garrus stepped inside the room, Shepard took his seat again and motioned at the only other chair in the room. "Please, have a seat." While waiting for the turian to sit down, Shepard continued. "What can I do for you, Garrus?"

Garrus remained stiffly upright as he answered. "Commander, I wanted to apologize for being insubordinate while on Feros. I wanted to bring myself to your cabin before you were forced to reprimand me in front of the rest of the crew. I cannot ask you for leniency, but I wanted to apologize and inform you that it will never happen again."

Shepard went from being confused to chortling while Garrus spoke. "Garrus, please, take a seat." Shepard pointed at the empty chair and refused to speak again until Garrus had sat down. "Let me explain something to you. In case you haven't looked around at the Normandy, it's not a turian ship. This is a human vessel, so we play by my rules."

"I know, sir." Garrus interrupted. "But you are still my commanding officer, and you deserve respect commensurate with your station. My comments were inexcusable."

Shepard held up a hand to stop him. "Why are you even in here, Garrus? What put this bee in your bonnet?"

Garrus's face took on a confused expression. "Sir, what is a bee? Or a bonnet?"

"It's an old human saying." Shepard said with a smile. "A bee is a small stinging insect; a bonnet is a head covering. It basically means, why are you agitated?"

"Oh." Garrus said, processing the new information. "I came in here because you told me while we were on the ground that we needed to have a 'talk' when we got back to the ship. I was hoping the talk could take place in private, rather than in front of the crew."

"That's my bad then, Garrus." Shepard said, shaking his head. "I was trying to joke around with you, be both menacing, yet funny. I'm sorry it didn't come across that way. It was an empty threat."

_Damn. He didn't realize I was being disrespectful, and now I've brought it to his attention. Stupid turian! Now I have no choice but to finish this conversation, and I don't see a possible positive outcome._ "Regardless, sir, I was disrespectful while in the Mako and I need to apologize for it."

"Look Garrus, you weren't being disrespectful. I've never served on a turian warship, but I'm guessing COs and subordinates don't banter, right?" Garrus nodded his head. "Well, like I said before, this isn't a turian ship. In the Alliance, some COs like to develop a relationship with the people under their command where there's a healthy give-and-take. Keeps things from being too serious, keeps people relaxed and focused during missions. You follow?" Garrus nodded again. "Well, I learned early on that I don't really like to be serious and formal during my commands. I use humor to relax, and I think those around me should be able to do so as well. So feel free to be funny, even if it's at my expense."

"Even if what I say comes across as disrespectful?" Garrus asked, stunned that that kind of behavior could be allowed, much less encouraged, on a military ship.

"Even then. Especially if you're using sarcasm." Shepard confirmed. "I like using sarcasm probably more than is healthy, so I encourage you to be sarcastic at will. Look, most of the time, just treat me like you would a colleague or, hopefully at some point down the line, a friend." Suddenly a knock at the door interrupted him. "I'm busy in here, wait outside if you want but it might be a while!" Shepard yelled at the door.

"If you have duties to attend to, Commander, I can-" Garrus started to say before Shepard cut him off.

"If it was really urgent, Joker would have contacted me over the intercom. It's probably someone else who wants to talk to me. But I give my full attention to my people when they ask for it. So where were we?" He asked, trying to remember what they had been talking about.

"Oh right!" He exclaimed, slapping himself in the forehead. "You can needle me, give me grief, poke fun at me, whatever. Whenever you want. I'm fine with it. The only time I'll ream you out for insubordination is if we're on a mission and you don't carry out orders that I give you. When I tell you to do something while we're planet-side, I need to know you'll do it, no questions asked. Even if you disagree. After we finish the mission, if you had a problem with one of my commands, come talk to me in private. Just like this. Ok?"

Garrus had to take a few moments to wrap his thoughts around what Shepard was telling him. "In other words, when you give me an order, I follow it like a good turian, even if it's a bad order. Any other time, we act like we share a rank. Additionally, I have permission to question your orders, but only after we return from missions. Is that correct?"

"Exactly." Shepard said, nodding his head. "And there might be times during a mission that I ask you for your input. When that happens, I want your honest, unbridled opinion. No holds barred."

"I understand, Commander." Garrus felt his shoulders lift as he realized Shepard cared more about getting the job done by any means necessary than he did about what people thought of him.

"Just to clear up one last thing, Garrus." Shepard added after watching Garrus finish processing the information. "It's not that I don't care what you think about me. Or what Tali, or Wrex, or Joker, or anybody else thinks about me. I think there's great potential for us to be friends, and I'd like to see that happen. But I have to know I can trust you guys when we're under fire. So I'm gonna be a hardass every once in a while, but it's so everybody gets home alive. Alright? And speaking of which, you can call me 'Shepard,' if you want. You don't have to always address me by my rank. 'Cause I'm gonna call you Garrus a lot."

"Thank you, Comm- I mean Shepard. I'm glad we straightened this out. I appreciate you taking the time to explain it to me." Getting up to leave, he remembered there was one other thing he wanted to say. "And Commander? I want you to know that I respect you. You've shown me that you deserve my respect more than most of the turian commanders I've served under."

"Thank you, Garrus." Shepard said as they walked to the door. "Let's see if whoever wanted to talk to me is still out here."

Opening the door, Shepard got rid of Garrus with a pat on the shoulder. "I'll talk to you later Garrus." Turning to the mess table, where three crewmembers were sitting and talking, he asked to the room at large "Did somebody want to talk to me?"

"I did, Commander." Tali's voice startled him as she appeared from out of nowhere.

"Crap, Tali, you nearly gave me a heart attack. Where were you?"

"Kaidan wasn't at his station, so I was sitting against the wall right there." She answered, pointing to a spot just around the corner from Shepard's door.

"Oh. Well, it's a good hiding spot." Shepard said, holding his chest. "Come on in." He led the way into his office, Tali walking quietly behind him.

Sitting down in what he had decided was "his" chair; he motioned for her to sit in the spot recently vacated by Garrus. "What do you need, Tali?" _Dammit, that sounded angry. I'm her CO; I shouldn't have gotten angry at her. It's not her fault she reminds me so much of Beth._

Tali sat in her seat, head down and hands twisting in her lap. "Commander . . . Are you still mad at me?"

Shepard decided to try to brazen it out. "I don't know what you mean, Tali."

Her head snapped up and her tone became less uncertain and more angry. "Don't give me that, Commander. You didn't talk to me the whole time we were on Feros after we almost died in the Mako. And this is the first time you've look at me since we got back."

Shepard hung his head. _I don't know why I'm surprised she noticed. She's not dumb. Not by a long shot._ "No, I'm not still mad at you, Tali. But if you're worried that I can't keep you safe, you can stay on the Citadel next time we dock there. Don't feel obligated to stay with us. You're free to leave."

"Commander, I don't want to leave!" Her voice was steady. "I know what you're trying to do is important, and I meant what I said about working for the greater good. I was just emotional after what happened. I really do trust you to keep us safe, to keep all of us safe."

"I'm glad to hear that, Tali. And I'm sorry I got upset with you." He clasped his hands and rested them on the table. "Things have been really stressful lately, and I let it get to me. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, Shepard." Tali was taken aback by his sadness. _I never thought about how he must feel. It must be hard to be responsible for the lives of everybody on this ship. I don't know if I could handle that much responsibility._ She reached forward like she was going to grab his hand to comfort him, but thought better of it and pulled her hand back. "I understand. We were both running on a lot of emotion. Moreover, you had just saved our lives and I rewarded you by yelling at you. How about this: I'll forgive you for getting mad at me and thinking I wanted to leave the Normandy, if you'll forgive me for being angry at you for saving my life."

This made Shepard laugh. "Alright, Tali, you've got yourself a deal. And thank you."

"You're welcome, of course. And thank **you**, for letting me stay on the Normandy. Traveling on one of the most advanced ships in Citadel space is a dream come true." She replied, smiling across at Shepard.

"It's my pleasure, Miss Zorah. Thank you for gracing us with your presence, and, more importantly, your skills. I swear the Normandy's been running even quieter since you came onboard."

"Thank you very much, Shepard. I don't think the Normandy can run any quieter." _I'm glad we're not talking about what happened on Feros anymore. I didn't like being mad at each other. I hope he feels the same way. And the Normandy is soooo quiet._ "It's hard to get used to being on the Normandy."

"Why's that?" Shepard asked, concerned. "Is someone giving you trouble?"

"Oh no, nothing like that." Tali said quickly. _Everyone has been surprisingly nice to me, even though most people think we're nothing but thieves and vagrants._ "It's so quiet at night, it's hard for me to sleep."

"You don't like the quiet?"

"No, it's not that." Tali tried to explain. "It's just that on the Flotilla, silence means that there's a problem. A dead engine, or worse, a malfunctioning air filter. And the ship is so empty. It feels like half of the crew is missing."

"Quarian ships are pretty crowded, I'm guessing?"

"Yes. A room this size-" she motioned to the Shepard's cabin "would be the living quarters for several generations of quarians."

"Wow. And I thought growing up on Arcturus station was bad."

"You grew up in space?" Tali asked, intrigued. _I didn't know he grew up on a space station. I haven't had a chance to talk to him like this, one-on-one before. I wonder if he's willing to share?_

"Yes. Arcturus station. Our Fleets use it as a home base, and that's where our Parliament is housed."

"So it was very crowded on Arcturus?" She asked, excitement creeping into her voice.

"Some parts of it were, some parts of it weren't. Kinda like the Citadel. But where I grew up, yes."

She failed to notice his lack of enthusiasm, and pressed on with her questions. "What was it like? Do your parents still live there?"

He reached one hand up and rubbed the back of his neck before answering. "I'm sorry, Tali, but I have to get some stuff done before we get to our next destination. If you really want to know about Arcturus, you should go talk to Joker. He grew up there too."

"Oh, um, ok." She was taken aback by his sudden dismissal. "Thanks for talking, Commander."

"You're welcome, Tali." He said, turning back to his desk while she showed herself to the door.

_That was weird._ She thought to herself as she headed for the stairs to take up to the combat deck. _Why did he walk Garrus out, but he ignored me when I left? Maybe it was because he knew I was waiting to talk to him after he was done with Garrus, but nobody needs him right now? I also don't understand why he made me leave. We were having a really good conversation. Maybe I can look both him and Arcturus station up on the extranet after I talk to Joker and find out more about them._

Meanwhile, Shepard was also ruminating on the end of the conversation. _It was probably rude to send her away so abruptly, I just didn't want to get into my past with her right now. Not after thinking about Beth and all those memories. I need to recover from the emotional rollercoaster of the last week before I can open up to anybody new._ A ping from his terminal let him know that he had another message waiting. _Hmm. Maybe the Alliance decided to give me more money because of how awesome I am? That'd be nice._ After opening the message, however, his internal smile turned to a frown.

"Shepard,

I realize that my last message to you wasn't very nice. I'm not going to apologize for what I said, really, but I wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I said it. I shouldn't have assumed anything about what you did or what was happening on Prime. If you want to, I'd like to talk to you sometime about what really happened. But if you're not gonna tell me any more than you did last time, don't bother.

Let me know if you want to talk.

Beth"

_What a fucking bitch! "Oh, I said you were a complete fucking dickhead and a bastard and killed my fucking family, including your best friend, but I'm only sorry I __**told**__ you using mean words."_ He paraphrased, in his own unique way, Beth's letter in a terrible internal impression of her voice._ What a load of fucking bullshit! And she has the fucking balls to tell me that we can talk if __**I**__ want to, but only if I'll tell her what really happened on Eden Prime? Fuck her. She can go to hell and hang out with her fucking asshole of a father for all I care. Fucking bitch._

Joker's voice prevented him from finding a more creative epithet for his current, emphasis on current, girlfriend. "Commander?"

"I'm here, Joker." _Alright, back to work. I can send her a message with what I really think about her "feelings" later. I have to be the unflappable fucking Shepard for a few minutes._ "Whatcha need?"

"I've got incoming comms from Admiral Hackett of the Fifth Fleet. Says it's urgent. Where'd you want to take it?"

"Can you patch it through to my private terminal? I'm in my office right now." _I don't trust myself out there, with other fucking people._

"Can a politician bullshit?" Shepard could almost hear the pilot's eyes rolling. "He's incoming."

"Commander Shepard." Admiral Hackett's smoky voice emanated from the terminal on Shepard's desk.

"Admiral Hackett." Shepard responded with an unseen nod.

"The Alliance needs your help, Commander."

_Surprise, surprise. I shoulda known that cash would come with a rider._ "I'm listening."

"We've lost control of the Luna training facilities."

"What happened?" Shepard asked, suddenly genuinely concerned. _There's a shit-ton of really explosive stuff in there. Who managed to take it over? And more importantly, what are their intentions?_

"The VI overseeing the base has gone rogue." Hackett's response was to the point.

_What the fuck? How is that an urgent situation?_ "Can't you deactivate it remotely?"

"We tried, Commander. It's somehow managed to lock us out."

"Couldn't you send in a team to manually deactivate it?" When Hackett didn't answer, Shepard had a "light bulb" moment. _Fuck. That's my job as resident badass human, isn't it?_ "Oh I get it, that's why you called me."

"Exactly, Shepard. You've been through that base, and you know how rough it can get. Sensors show the VI has control of all defensive systems."

"Including the heavy turrets?" Shepard asked, grimacing. _Just what I fucking need._

"Including the heavy turrets." Hackett confirmed. "We need the best, Commander. And that's you."

_Well, he's right about one thing. He called the best._ "Alright, Admiral, I'll get on it right away."

"Thank you Commander. Hackett out."

"Hey Joker." Shepard said as soon as Hackett was gone.

"Yes Commander?"

"Change of plans. Get us to Luna Base, ASAP." _Time to go blow up some of the Alliance's fucking toys. Quite the fucking galaxy we live in, ain't it Spike?_

"Yessir."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"An hour out from Luna Base, Commander."

"Thanks Joker." He answered, looking up from his write-up of the Feros mission. "I'll get down to the hangar soon, and we'll drop in the Mako."

"Sure you don't want curbside service Commander?"

"Are you sure you want to offer?" Shepard answered his pilot's question with a question.

"Why wouldn't I?" Joker sounded confused. "The Normandy's cleared for atmosphere, remember?"

"I remember. But the base defenses are targeting anything that moves." Shepard grinned wickedly.

"Even the heavy cannon?"

"Even the heavy cannon."

"I'll drop you in the Mako." Joker shivered. He did not want to think about what would happen to his baby if those cannon opened up at close range, in atmo.

"Good answer, Joker." Shepard responded, chuckling.

* * *

One interminably long elevator ride later, Shepard stepped out into the hangar, fully armed and armored. "Garrus." He called over to the turian.

"Commander?"

"Get your guns. Helmet, too. We've got another fight on our hands."

"Yes sir." Garrus answered, heading over to his locker.

The glare Ashley sent at her commanding officer at his choice of ground party went unnoticed as Shepard turned to take the corridor to engineering.

"Tali."

"Yes, Shepard?" She responded, turning away from her console.

"Head into the hangar and get your gear. We've got another mission."

As he turned to walk away, she blurted out a question. "You're bringing me? Again?"

He slowly turned back to face her, and then closed the distance between them. "Do you not want to come along?"

"No! I mean, I do! Want to come along. . ." She trailed off, hands twisting nervously. "It's just . . . after last time on Feros, I wasn't sure you'd be bringing me along anymore."

"I thought we had agreed to forgive each other?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow at her. "If that's not the case . . ." He let the words linger, waiting for her response.

"No!" She exclaimed, taking several quick steps past him and making for the hangar as quickly as she could. "We're both forgiven."

As they walked into the hangar, Tali made a beeline for her locker and began pulling out her weapons and affixing them to their various hard points on her suit.

"Did we already find the Doctor, Commander?" Garrus asked as he walked over to Shepard, helmet under his arm. "Time really flies down here."

"No, we're not at Artemis Tau. We had a change of plans; we need to go clean out a rogue VI at an Alliance base."

"I see. That would be why you brought Tali?" Garrus inquired, nodding at the quarian.

"Yes. I've been through this training facility before, and it's pretty much all about the drones. I figure if she can hack a geth, she can hack a drone. Can you, Tali?"

"Yes." She answered, moving over to stand next to Garrus and Shepard. "Probably for a lot longer time than I can hack a geth, too."

"Perfect." Shepard said, smiling at her. "Let's go get in the Mako. Joker'll drop us. I'm driving."

"Dibs on the guns!" Garrus said quickly. This drew a grin from Shepard, and a headshake from Tali.

_Am I the only adult going on this mission?_ She asked herself as she climbed up into the infantry vehicle. _I hope Shepard drives more calmly this time._

* * *

"Shepard, do you have to drive **over** everything? Wouldn't it be just as easy to drive **around** the mountains?" Tali complained as the Mako bounced over yet another rocky outcropping.

"Well, Miss Zorah, since you asked so politely . . ." Shepard stopped talking and gunned the engine, sending the Mako flying towards the edge of a cliff. As the vehicle started to go over the edge, he hit the thrusters, pushing them briefly into the air before the moon's gravity started pulling them down again.

"Aaaahhhhh!" Was the only response Tali could muster, while both Shepard and Garrus chuckled. Just before impact, Shepard flared the thrusters again and the Mako set down with a soft thud, before the tires dug into the loose surface and propelled the large vehicle forward.

"How can you laugh at that?" Tali glared at Garrus, trying hard to catch her breath.

"Your girlish screaming is entertaining." Garrus replied with a shrug.

"Bosh'tet." Tali responded with a poke to his side.

Unperturbed, Garrus decided to push the point a little more. "And the Comma- I mean, Shepard, is actually a very skilled driver, when he wants to be. I trust him."

"Thank you, Garrus." Shepard responded with a nod as he started climbing up yet another nearly vertical rock face. "I'm glad to see someone has some faith in me." He finished with a pointed look at Tali.

"I have faith in **you**, just not your driving. And since when did you start calling him Shepard?" She answered, turning to look at Garrus.

"The Commander and I had a nice discussion about what it means to serve on his ship. And we came to an understanding, part of which is that I am free to call him by something other than his rank."

"As are you, Tali." Shepard threw in. "Although I noticed you already call me Shepard, so that invitation is probably wasted."

Muttering something under her breath, Tali went back to poking around in the Mako's electronic guts. The only words Shepard could make out were "bosh'tets" and "trouble." Smiling to himself, Shepard made a mental note to ask her what "bosh'tet" meant next time he had a chance to talk to her alone.

* * *

Shepard swerved wildly as yet another rocket crashed into the ground next to the Mako.

"Shepard, three more incoming!" Tali's voice was urgent. "And shields are at 40%!"

"Garrus, why haven't you taken those turrets offline yet?" Shepard demanded.

"Because you're driving like you're drunk, sir!" Garrus shouted back, trying to line up a shot on one of the heavy turrets currently targeting their vehicle.

"Tali, can you hack one of them? Maybe make them shoot each other for a while?" Shepard asked, trying to see if his other crewmember could have better luck.

"No, I already tried. The Mako's shielding is interfering with the signal."

"So you could do it once our shields are down?" A plan started to take shape in Shepard's mind.

"Yes, but those rockets would immediately rip through our hull." Tali dashed his plan just as quickly as he thought it up. "There's too many of them, Commander."

"Alright." Shepard quickly came up with a more outrageous plan, and immediately started driving away from the turrets. A few moments later, he parked the Mako behind a small hill.

"Commander?" Garrus looked questioningly at the human. "I didn't believe you were capable of retreating."

"Well, I approve." Tali cut in. "We weren't going to last much longer against those turrets."

"Glad to know you have such faith in me, Tali." Shepard said sarcastically. "And Garrus, we didn't retreat. We're just attacking in a different direction."

"If that tactic allows them to recharge their shields, then I think it's a poor tactic." "Sir." He added as an afterthought.

"What'd I tell you about 'sir'ing me, Garrus? I would usually agree with you, though. But right now, we need a different strategy. We need to redeploy."

"Sir?" Garrus was unsure of what the Commander was trying to say. Tali also had her head tilted to the side, which Shepard was beginning to associate with a question.

"Tali and I are going to get out of the Mako and proceed on foot."

"What?" Garrus and Tali exclaimed in unison.

Shepard continued on as though they hadn't spoken. "Garrus, you're going to drive around the turrets and distract them."

"Umm, Shepard?" Tali sounded very worried.

"If you trust me, and do what I say, then you'll be okay, Tali. I promise." _I won't let anything happen to her. No matter what._

_Do I trust him? With my life? Do I even have a choice after Feros? If I tell him I don't trust him __**now**__, there is no way he'll let me stay on board. I have to trust him. I suppose I do, anyway. Although I hope he has a plan._ After a moment of indecision, Tali's voice was sure. "I trust you, Shepard."

"Good. How close do you have to be in order to hack one of those turrets?" Shepard started rubbing his hands together as he put the finishing touches on his plan.

"Umm, probably 30 meters or so."

"Good. Those turrets are only 25 meters apart. So you're gonna follow me in on foot. We're gonna run up to the base of the only one Garrus managed to kill, and then you're gonna hide there and start hacking the nearest turret. Do you need the shields down in order to hack it?"

"No." She responded confidently.

"Alrighty then. You are to stay in that cover and keep that thing hacked, no matter what. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Garrus, you're gonna drive around and try to keep them distracted. The Mako's shields should be back at full strength by now, so if you take a couple hits, it's not that big a deal."

"I understand." Garrus moved up to sit in the driver's seat and flexed his talons. Looking back at Shepard, he asked, "Are you just going to protect Tali?"

"In a manner of speaking." The human's smile made shivers run up the turian's back. "Try not to run either of us over, alright?"

"I'll do my best."

"Then let's get it done. Tali, after you."

Tali and Shepard climbed out of the Mako, and Shepard pounded on the hull to let Garrus know he could drive into the fight.

"Stay right behind me, okay Tali?"

"I already said I will, Shepard." Tali sounded exasperated.

"I know. I just want to keep you safe." He put his hand on her shoulder, squeezed once, and then took off at a run. Tali followed behind, a warm feeling emanating from the shoulder he had squeezed and spreading throughout her body.

As they ran, they could see all three turrets following the Mako's progress.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I'm glad you do the driving." Tali said breathlessly, watching the Mako jerk in all directions. "I feel sick just watching Garrus drive."

"Yeah, I'm not sure if that's intentional or not, but it's working like a mofo." Shepard grinned at the thought of Garrus trying to dodge the rockets. _Time for him to see how easy it is to drive that freaking thing while getting shot at all the time. Not such an easy thing, is it, Mr. "I'm a turian, I'm awesome at everything."_

"Mofo, Commander?" Tali's query made him focus on her again, rather than on Garrus.

"I'll explain later." Shepard said as they reached the broken turret's base. "Which one you gonna hack?"

"Uh . . . That one." Tali answered, stooping to catch her breath and pointing to the right.

"Alright. Stay here, and keep that thing shooting the others." As soon as he said it, Shepard was gone, running out into the fight holding his shotgun.

_He's insane!_ Tali thought, before mentally smacking herself. _But I don't want him to die, so I have to focus on hacking this turret._ As she got deeper and deeper into the turret's code, she stopped noticing the many noises coming from Shepard's side of the battlefield.

After what felt like hours, but was really just after Tali started hacking her turret, Garrus realized that rockets were no longer chasing him. Panting slightly from the exertion of trying to keep the Mako in one piece, he stopped the vehicle and took a few deep breaths. _I failed to realize how difficult it is to drive this monstrosity. How does Shepard make it look so effortless? I am impressed that one of the turrets was destroyed so quickly, though. Tali must really be an exceptional hacker. I actually see, now, why Shepard brought her along._

Looking outside, Garrus nearly choked. _What in the great blue hell is that human doing?! I expected him to be hiding right next to Tali, perhaps trying to whittle down the turrets and give the hacked turret a better chance of winning. I can barely see Tali, so that plan seems reasonable. H is acting completely insane! If he dies, the humans will think __**we**__ killed him._

The cause of Garrus's consternation could be seen running to and fro on the dusty lunar surface. Shepard was trying to destroy the heavy turret that had been targeting Garrus by himself. On foot. Occasional blue crackles of electricity would rake over the turret, interspersed with blasts from Shepard's shotgun. With a final shot, Shepard blew up the heavy turret. At nearly the same time, Tali's turret won its own fight.

Suddenly, Shepard's voice came over Garrus's radio. "If you're not too busy napping in there, Mister Vakarian, would you mind blowing up Tali's turret?" After he finished, he slumped down against the base of the turret he had just destroyed. _That was probably pretty stupid._ He thought to himself, trying to slow his heart rate. _I've done stupider things, but that shit is right up near the top. Fuckin' A, it was awesome though. I bet Vakarian shit his pants when I killed that thing._ Tali came running up to him and knelt down, scanning him with her omni-tool.

"Keelah, Shepard, are you alright? What were you thinking?"

"Oh yeah, I'm fine, Tali." Garrus slamming the Mako to a stop right next to them and hurriedly climbing out of the IFV interrupted anything else he was going to say.

"Are you out of your mind Shepard?!" The normally reserved turian was visibly agitated.

"Ya know, Tali just asked me a similar question." Shepard said, grinning up at the turian from his spot on the ground. "Of course I'm not. I came up with a brilliant tactical maneuver, and we executed it to perfection. Easy peasy, rice and cheesy."

"Something is seriously wrong with you, Shepard." Garrus said, shaking his head as he extended a hand to help his Commander up from the ground.

"I agree. And you should have Dr. Chakwas give you a full scan when you get back to the Normandy." Tali added after hearing Shepard's sharp intake of breath.

"I'll be fine." Shepard waved away her concern. "You two did really well, though. I want to make sure you both know that. Now let's get to the base proper, and blow the hell outta some more shit!"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Thank you for the help, Commander Shepard. I knew we could count on you."

"You're welcome, Admiral Hackett. Now if you don't have any other pressing issues, I need to go over some things with my crew before we reach our next mission." _And by that, I mean I need to go get some goddamn sleep. Going toe-to-toe with that turret was fucking exhausting! Between that and destroying probably, what, a hundred drones, I've got shit left in the tank._

"Certainly, Commander. I took the liberty of having a bit of money transferred to your account. I know you took time out from your hunt for Saren to do this, and the Alliance appreciates it."

_Fucking right. I like getting bonuses just for doing my job. Keep it coming, old man._ "Feel free to contact me in the future if you have similar jobs you need doing, Admiral." _If you're paying for it, I'll kick ass all day long._

"I will. Hackett out."

Shepard paused; making sure the Admiral was actually gone. Certain that he could speak freely again, he contacted Joker over the intercom. "Joker."

"What can I do you for?"

"You ever gonna treat me with respect, Flight Lieutenant?"

"Let me think on that." The pilot's voice oozed sarcasm. "Nope, probably not. That all you wanted, Commander?"

"No. What's our ETA to Artemis Tau?"

"Sometime between six and seven hours. Kinda depends on how much you want me to push my baby."

"I'm gonna just assume you mean the Normandy, and that you didn't sneak a kid onto the most advanced warship in the Alliance Navy."

"You just keep right on assuming that, Commander."

Shepard managed to chuckle at Joker, despite his exhaustion. "Let's see what she's really capable of, then, Lieutenant. Get us there as fast as you can, without blowing up my ship."

"Whose ship, Commander?"

This time, Shepard could only muster up an eye roll at the helmsman's quip. "My ship, Joker. Unless you'd like to try to wrest control of the Normandy away from someone certified in ICT hand-to-hand?"

"No need to get violent, Commander. The Normandy's your girl; I'm just the guy who gets her off," the pilot waited a beat, then added, "of planets." Shepard heard the pilot chuckle over the intercom.

Shepard shook his head at Joker's terrible joke. "I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that, Joker. Let me know when we're two hours out."

"Suit yourself, Commander."

Shepard walked over to his terminal and pulled up his message inbox, which still displayed the text from Bethany that had pissed him off so much before the Luna mission. As he read over it again, he decided that his previous thoughts might have been a little harsh towards his girlfriend. _Fuck. I can't tell if it's just because I'm really fucking tired or what, but she makes a little bit of sense. And she does kind of apologize for what she said, even if she says she isn't. I guess I can ease off, a little. I remember how pissed off I was at everything and everyone when I found out how and why my parents were killed. She probably feels the same, and I was just the closest person available for venting. Hell, maybe she only felt comfortable saying that shit to me __**because**__ we're close. Fucking women. They need to get rid of some of that bullshit they teach in school and replace it with a "What the fuck to do when a woman says 'this' to you" course. I'd take that fucking class in a heartbeat. Probably fail, but that'd just give me another go-round at it._

_Great. So now that I've decided to forgive her for being a gigantic, fire-breathing, fucking bitch, what do I do about talking to her? I don't know what the Alliance wants or is letting get out about the action on Eden Prime. Oh wait, who gives a shit? I'm a Spectre now! I can say whatever the hell I want. Alright, I'll throw her a bone; try to appease her with some info. If she flips out on me again, though, I swear to Christ I'm gonna make Joker drop me off at Arcturus so I can find her, kick her ass, and throw her out a fucking airlock. I guess I'll send her a message and set something up._

He tried a few different options before settling on something direct.

"Beth,

I can't have a conversation like the one you probably want to have while we're out on a mission. I have to stay focused on the job at hand. But next time I'm on the Citadel, I'll make sure to set aside some time for a vid-chat with you. It probably isn't exactly what you want, but it's the best I can do.

Regards,

Spike"

_There. That's reasonable enough. A little bit of "fuck you" got through there, but I'm okay with that. Serves her right for being such a bitch earlier. Now fuck everything else, I'm getting some goddamn sleep._

* * *

Three and a half hours later, Joker's voice brought Shepard out of an uneasy sleep. "ETA at the Artemis Tau Cluster in 2 hours, Commander."

"Thanks, Joker." _I don't know how much more shitty sleep I can take. I know how to go without sleep; I've been there and done that more than a few times. And god knows I love a good night's sleep when I can get it, preferably with a good-looking woman sharing my bed (not that that's happened in fucking forever. Too damn long, Spike!). But waking up more tired than when I went to sleep, as if I spent the whole time actually fighting, instead of just watching violence happen? That shit is unacceptable. Alright, calm down and pull yourself together, Spike. You've got a job to do._ Shepard spent a few minutes thinking about how to best use the time until the Normandy reached Artemis Tau, before he remembered that he needed to have a team meeting.

"Joker. Get the ground team to meet me in the comm room in fifteen minutes. Tell them their presence is required, not optional."

"Will do, Commander."

Shepard got up and started to walk to the door, stretching his body out along the way. Suddenly he stopped as a sharp pain stabbed through his torso. _Shit. I forgot to go down to Chakwas and have her take a look at where I almost got hit by a rocket. Oh well. If it was really bad, I'da remembered. We'll see how it feels when we get back from wherever we end up going next. If it's still twinging, I'll have her run a check. For now, though, I need a quick shower to wake the fuck up._

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, Garrus, Wrex, Tali, and Ashley were sitting in the comm room, looking expectantly at Shepard. Less than a minute later, the door opened and Kaidan came running into the room. Stopping in front of the Commander, he snapped into a rigid salute.

"Was fifteen minutes not long enough for you, Lieutenant?" Shepard waved in the general direction of his forehead, and continued. "At ease, and take a seat so we can get started."

Kaidan moved quickly to one of the open chairs and sat down. "I apologize for my tardiness, sir. I was in the med-bay with Chakwas. Migraines were flaring up again."

"From your implants? L2's, right?"

"Yes sir. I'm sorry sir, it won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't." Shepard threatened, but there was no real bite in his voice. "Now, I'm sure you're all wondering why I interrupted whatever it is you do between missions with this meeting."

Various nods confirmed Shepard's statement.

"Well, it was brought to my attention recently that not everybody here went to the same school, so to speak." Looking up, Shepard spotted several quizzical glances at his statement. Sighing at his abysmal attempt at humor, he remembered that not everyone could see inside his head and realize how truly funny he was. _Probably a good thing, too. I bet what I got runnin' around inside my skull would make most of these people cry themselves to sleep. Forever, even. But I'm supposed to be talking to them, not myself._ "What I mean, is, not all of us present went through Alliance basic training. This means that not everybody uses or understands the same nonverbal battlefield communication. We need to standardize the one we use. So that's why we're having this here meeting of the minds."

"Why bother, Commander? Anybody who doesn't understand should figure it out or get left behind." Ashley spoke up as soon as Shepard stopped speaking. "The Alliance uses basic hand signals. Any moron should be able to understand." Her face twisted into a sneer as she glanced pointedly at Garrus and Tali.

"Ashley." Shepard's voice carried an unspoken warning. "The Alliance's methods may be a no-brainer to you, but you grew up Alliance. Not everybody did. And I would much rather make sure everybody's on the same page here, than get myself, or somebody else, shot all fulla holes because someone didn't understand what this means." As he spoke, he raised up a closed fist, the back of his hand facing behind him.

"Then maybe you should make sure the people following you aren't stupid." Ashley's retort was out before she even thought about it.

"That's enough, Williams!" Shepard's voice was suddenly loud, deep, and full of authority. He winced for a brief moment as his outburst caused a sudden pain to shoot through his chest. He lowered his voice, but made sure every word still rolled out of his mouth with menace. "If you have a problem with what I do, and who I do it with, you can come talk to me in private. But you will not insult your colleagues in front of them like this. In fact, you'd be better off refraining from insulting them at all, because everyone in this room is here for a reason. Everyone here has at least one unique characteristic that is gonna help me pop a cap right in Saren's brain box. And if you can't get that through your head, you will no longer be welcome on my ship."

A stunned silence filled the room when he finished. He stared at the top of Ashley's head, waiting for her to raise her eyes to his. For a long minute, she couldn't bring herself to do so. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, she met his gaze. "Do you understand, Chief Williams?"

"Yes, sir." She said quietly.

"Good." Shepard nodded and turned to look at the rest of the group. "Then you and Kaidan can help me explain some of this stuff. Some of this might be better explained via demonstration, and I'm certainly not gonna make a fool of myself." He finished his statement with a grin, trying to break the tension. It worked, as Kaidan forced out a laugh and everyone's shoulders relaxed from their tense position.

The next forty-five minutes passed relatively quickly, as the team listened to each other and asked questions, everyone trying hard to show themselves that they were worthy of a spot on Shepard's team. Finally, after Joker notified them that they were an hour out from the Artemis Tau cluster, Shepard broke up the discussion.

"Alright everybody. I think this was a valuable waste of our time. And if anybody disagrees, too damn bad." He smiled, making sure everyone knew he was kidding. "For now, though, I have to go talk to Joker, and I don't want you all talking behind my back. You're dismissed."

Everyone got up, and moved towards the door as a group. Tali walked a bit slower, trying to get closer to Shepard, who was bringing up the rear. "What did Doctor Chakwas say?" She asked him quietly, stopping him so they were the only two left in the room.

Her question seemed to knock him out of some deep thought. "Huh? What did the doc say about what?"

"I just wanted to know if there were any negative consequences from your duel with that heavy cannon back on Luna." She said, her voice heavy with concern. "I saw you grimace when you were, um, talking to Ashley."

"Oh." Shepard turned his face away. "I, er, forgot to go down and see her. I feel fine, so there was no reason to go bother her."

"Fine? How can you be fine? You fought a heavy turret, by yourself, and somehow didn't die. The first thing you should have done is go have a doctor confirm my not-very-detailed battlefield scan." She seemed completely exasperated at his lackadaisical attitude. "And I know I saw you wince!"

"I trust your judgment, Tali. Besides, I know my own body. When there's something wrong, it lets me know." He smiled at her. "Pain's nothing new to me."

"I still could be wrong, though, Commander. You're too important to the galaxy to risk your health on my 'diagnosis.'" _And without you, I don't know what I would be doing. So, you are too important to me to die._ "I don't have any real medical training. Not like Doctor Chakwas. And," she poked him in the chest and watched him wince away, "if that didn't hurt, then why did you cringe?"

"I never said it didn't hurt." Shepard took a step back to get out of her reach. "I'm allowed to bruise, aren't I?"

"So it's **just** a bruise?" Tali said sarcastically. "Let me see it then." She took a step towards him, getting within arm's reach again.

_Shit._ Shepard tried to think quickly. _I'm a patchwork-fucking quilt of bruises thanks to that damn cannon. If she sees that, she's gonna throw a hissy fit about going and seeing Chakwas. And I am too damn tired for a hissy fit. There's gotta be a way outta this. Think, damnit! Maybe if I can distract her with something else, she'll let me go. That's complete shit, but it's all I've got._ "Wow, Tali, already trying to get me undressed? I never thought you'd be so . . . forward." He winked at her as he spoke, and reached forward to grab one of her hands and placed it on his waist, where his shirt was tucked into the waistband of his pants.

She yanked her hand back like he'd just stuck it in a pot of scalding-hot water. "Um, no, I mean, I, uh, I don't. . ." She stammered, trying to think of what to say while she blushed deeply underneath her helmet. _I didn't mean it like that. Of __**course,**__ I want to see what his body looks like underneath his clothes, who wouldn't? But I'm not trying to do so __**now**_. This took her train of thought in another, less helpful direction. _His body felt so hard when I touched him just now, though. I can just imagine how his torso probably looks like sculpted steel, and probably feels like it too. I bet it feels like running a hand over the walls of the Rayya, only warmer and so much more-_

She mentally shook herself. _This is not helping. You are supposed to be making sure he's okay, not daydreaming about what he looks like naked. Save that for another time, if it must be done at all._ Realizing he was still staring at her, waiting for an answer from her, she felt her blush renew. _Thank the Ancestors he couldn't hear what was going on in my head just now. I sound like a little girl with a crush!_ "No, um, never mind, Commander. I'll see you later." She turned and practically ran from the room.

_Ha ha ha. Score one for Spike! She's really cute when she gets all flustered. And I would bet good money that her face was as red as a tomato under there. Or whatever color quarians turn when they blush. I wonder if she's always like that around "adult" topics? Maybe I'll wheedle her a bit next time I talk to her. See if I can't find out._ Thinking about talking to her again, he remembered her words in the Mako while they were on Luna. _Damnit! I forgot to ask what that "bosh'tet" word meant. I guess that's just one more thing I'll have to remember to ask her about another time._ Still grinning at the way she had reacted when her hand had been on his waist, he walked out of the comm room and headed for the bridge.

Walking past the CIC, he nodded to Pressley who had looked up at his passing. As he finally reached the cockpit, he watched the pilot mutter to himself while the purple light of Artemis Tau shimmered outside the window. "You okay, Joker?" He asked as he decided to make his presence known.

"Crap, Commander!" Joker jumped at the sound of Shepard's voice. "How can somebody as butch as you be so damn quiet? My heart's now trying to beat its way out of my chest. So, thanks a lot!"

Shepard chuckled as he watched the pilot pat his chest as though trying to calm a racing heart. "Years of practice, Mr. Moreau. That, and some instructors who planned nasty surprises if you made too much noise." Shepard shook his head, remembering. "Be glad you weren't there."

"I'll take your word for it."

"So why were you muttering just now? Finally cracking up?"

"Har har. Anybody ever tell you you're a barrel of laughs, Commander?"

"Not recently."

"Well, I can see why." The helmsman laughed when he saw Shepard's wry grin out of the corner of his eye. "But I'm picking up some weird signals coming out of Artemis Tau. Seems like it might be geth, but I'm not sure. I'm trying to clean it up, but it's not cooperating."

"Can you track it?"

Joker turned in his seat to look at the Commander, before rolling his eyes with deliberate slowness. "Uh, duh, Commander."

"Cute, Joker." Shepard shook his head at his helmsman's antics. "Where's it coming from, then?"

"Well, we're getting a bit of chatter from all four systems in this cluster, but most of it's coming from Knossos."

Shepard moved over to one of the co-pilot's seats and pulled up a star chart for that system. "Knossos it is, then. Take us in fast, Joker." He perused the chart quickly and added an addendum to his prior order. "This system has two asteroid belts. Think you can drop us out of FTL and find a quiet spot just on the edge of the outer belt?"

"Of course, Commander." Joker's voice was arrogant, but not overly so.

Shepard looked over and noticed that even though his voice was serious, the pilot still had a smile on his face. Looking up, he noticed that the shimmering purple light of Artemis Tau had been replaced with the flickering blue and red of FTL travel. A few minutes passed in silence with Shepard thinking about who he was going to bring with him to whatever planet they ended up on, and Joker paying attention to actually flying the Normandy.

_Whoever I bring is gonna depend on where we're going. I don't think it'll be the gas giant, because I can't see anybody surviving down there. I really hope it isn't Phaistos or Armeni, either. We don't have the stuff onboard to deal with 550ºC heat or -200ºC cold, and I don't know what we'd do. Hot as fuck or cold as balls, either way, we're screwed. So we can go planet-side on Zakros or Therum. I think it's gonna be Therum though. I know there are some Prothean ruins there, even if corporations have looted them all. Ha, just like those ExoGeni bastards on Feros. Part of it is that Zakros if covered in slush, which would make walking and fighting a pain in the fucking ass. Come on, Therum! Be nice to daddy._

Moments later, the Normandy dropped out of FTL. "Stealth systems engaged, and we're hanging out, literally, in the outer asteroid belt."

"Nice job, Joker." Shepard nodded approvingly. "I knew I kept you around for something."

"You're welcome." The pilot said smugly.

"Are you able to get a more precise fix on the geth transmission?"

"Yep. Still can't translate it, though."

"Work on that when I'm not around, Joker. Where are we going?"

"Therum." He said simply, pouting a little.

_Yes. Winner winner chicken mother-fucking dinner!_ "Alright, I'm gonna go get in the Mako. When I give the word, take us in and drop us as close to the bulk of the signals as you can." Shepard got up and started walking towards the back of the ship, quickly losing himself in thought to the point where he didn't hear Joker's sullen "Bye."

_Damnit, I forgot to figure out who I'm actually gonna take with me down there. Since it's geth, I guess I'll bring Tali. Hmmm. Who else? I'm not bringing Ashley after her little tantrum in the comm room, and I don't wanna bring Kaidan since his implants are slowing him down. So Wrex or Garrus then? I don't know anything about the terrain. I really fucking hate going in blind. You never really appreciate intel until you don't have any, then you miss it like your mommy's tits. Ah, fuck it. Since I don't know what kind of a reception I'm gonna get, I'll bring Garrus. He knows how to be diplomatic and shit. Plus, he can shoot stuff pretty good if "negotiations" with this T'Soni chick don't go well. Garrus and Tali it is. Might be the makings of a modern dream team. Shepard, Zorah, and Vakarian: ass-kickers extraordinaire. I kinda like the sound of that._


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

On the surface of Therum, Shepard was standing behind a wall wondering how things had gone so wrong.

_Shitty shit shit fucking fucker. I shoulda known things were too easy. Drive the Mako around, let Garrus blow up some geth, knock some other ones into the lava, try to avoid following them into said lava. We were having a great fucking time, then the fucking rocks get in the way so I have to leave the Mako behind. Killing geth on foot wasn't so bad, hell; Garrus and I were exploding flashlight heads way the fuck off in the distance. I wonder how far out he can actually go? Could he be better than me? Nah. I'm the best. Like no one ever was. But maybe I should worry about that later. For now, I should probably deal with the dozen geth and their fucking Colossus. How in the fuck are we supposed to kill that goddamn thing anyway? It's huge! Fuckity fuck!_

Looking around, Shepard could see Tali standing right next to him, engrossed in her omni-tool. Across the field, Garrus was taking cover behind a large crate. Occasionally, he would poke his head out in order to take a shot at one of the many geth standing between their team and the entrance to the Prothean ruins.

"Garrus! Are you trying to hit the little jumpy ones?" Shepard spoke over the comms.

"I am, Commander."

"Well, do a better job, would ya? I'm still hearing a lot of that annoying rubber band sound they keep making every time they move."

"I'll do my best, Commander." Garrus's reply was dry. "It might go faster if you decided to help out a little, rather than hiding over there with Tali?"

"Alright, Garrus." Shepard sighed dramatically. "I was just trying to give you a chance to get ahead of me for once."

"I wasn't aware we were keeping score."

"Well, we weren't. I always win, so I got bored with counting. But I thought you might like to get a chance to regain some of your lost pride."

"Uh huh. We shall see, Shepard." With that, Garrus poked his head out from cover and obliterated one of the hoppers.

Shepard smiled to himself. "Tali, what are you up to?"

"Oh, have you two finished your male bonding?" Tali seemed a bit miffed.

"What's wrong?"

"I just don't understand how you two can stand there joking when we're outnumbered and pinned down." She still hadn't looked up from her omni-tool.

"It's just the way we deal with stress. You get pissy, whereas we get funny."

"I'm not pissy!" Tali yelled, looking up to glare at him. "And you are not funny!"

"If you say so, Tali." He smirked over at her. "In the meantime, I think I hear a rocket trooper. Think you can make him shoot at his friends instead of at us."

"Yes." She said in a huff, before getting back to work.

"Are you two about done over there?" Garrus spoke up. "I'm kicking your ass, Shepard."

"Sure you are." Shepard rolled his eyes. "Lemme show you how it's done." Switching to his pistol, he stepped out from behind his wall and started to shoot at the nearest geth while sidestepping to a large crate nearby. "Got one!" He exclaimed as he dropped one of the leapers. Two steps away from his next cover, he spotted a geth sniper just at the edge of his pistol's range. He launched an overload at it, and saw the telltale flicker of collapsing shields. Three shots sped downrange while he was taking another step, dropping the sniper. "Got two!"

Just before he reached his cover, a rocket hit the ground right next to him, and the shockwave drew a wave of pain from his torso. _Fuck. Maybe that cannon on Luna did a bit more damage than I thought. Oh well. Chakwas can fix me up when we get back to the Normandy._ Nearly falling into cover, he took several deep breaths, the pain subsiding a little with each one.

"Commander, you okay?" Garrus asked, unsure of whether he needed to be worried since the Commander was still on his feet.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Shepard shook his head to clear the cobwebs, and then looked for Tali. "Hey Tali, what happened to making the rocketeer shoot his buddies instead of me?"

"There are two of them, Shepard. I can only hack one at a time." She pointed out sarcastically. "Maybe you should be more careful next time."

"Ah. Still mad I see." Shepard laughed once, without any real mirth. _Fuck, laughing hurts. No more of that._ Switching to his sniper rifle, he began to work in concert with Garrus, picking off geth. While they were shooting the enemy, Tali continued hacking one geth at a time, making them thin their own herd.

Finally, the only geth still standing was the Colossus.

"Tali, any idea how much shielding this thing's still got?" Shepard asked as his cover shook with the impact of yet another siege pulse.

"I'm not sure. Probably a lot."

"Wonderful. Can you hack it?"

"No. Its code is beyond anything I'm capable of interfering with. It would take me a few days just to figure out where to start attacking it."

"Oh well. Figured I'd ask." Shepard turned to his other teammate. "Garrus, got any tips or tricks from the turian military manual?"

"No, Commander." Garrus shook his head to confirm his lack of expertise. "We've never fought the geth before, as far as I know."

"Wonder-fucking-ful." Shepard tried to remember anything he had ever been told about taking down an enemy of this size while on foot. This unfortunately, wasn't much. "Alright, death by a thousand cuts it is then."

"We're just taking it down piece by piece?" Garrus asked to confirm.

"Yep. Bit by bit. It'll take time, but it'll kill the damn thing. Just make sure you don't get hit by that siege pulse, you two. One hit from that and there's nothing I can do. Well, I'll avenge you, but that's not gonna do your dead body much good. So remember, if it stands up straight, hide until you feel the ground or your cover shake. Everybody clear on the plan?" They answered in the affirmative, and then all three leaned out of cover and opened fire at once; Shepard and Garrus with their sniper rifles, Tali with her pistol.

A long three minutes later, Shepard couldn't tell if any progress had been made. "Tali, are its shields down yet?"

"I think so, Shepard. But I've never seen armor like this before. I don't know how long it will take us to punch a hole in it." She shrugged her shoulders helplessly, knowing that he wouldn't like that answer.

"Fuck!" Shepard did not, in fact, like that answer. _This goddamned motherfucking thing is really starting to piss me off. I just want to find this fucking asari, and take her into custody. Is that too much to ask? But if she's the person who called in this fucking Colossus, I'm gonna punch her in the face a few times before I turn her over to the Alliance for interrogation. Or would I turn her over to the Council, now that I'm a Spectre? Oh who gives a fuck, I've gotta find the bitch first. And on that note, it's time to Plan B this motherfucker._

"Alright, listen up. New plan." He paused, to make sure he had his teammates' full attention. "As soon as that thing's next siege pulse hits, I want you to **immediately** stop firing. Lean out one last time, and hit it with the best sabotage attack you've got. Then take cover again."

"You want us to **stop** shooting at the Colossus?" Garrus sounded incredulous.

"Yes." Shepard's voice was authoritative and signaled that the matter was no longer open for discussion, while he collapsed his sniper rifle and affixed it to his back. _I don't have time to explain, because the siege pulse is incoming . . . now!_ As soon as the shot impacted his cover, he turned the corner and started charging the geth. Throwing out his arm with his omni-tool glowing, he hit the machine with a sabotage. Two other orange explosions of light covered the geth in quick order, indicating that Garrus and Tali had followed his plan. _Now I just hope they remember not to shoot at it._ He continued to run forward as fast as he could, praying that the sabotage would keep its weapons down for another few seconds.

Pulling his shotgun from the back of his waist, he took the last three steps separating him from the geth. Dropping to the ground, he slid underneath the Colossus before popping up behind it. Turning to face the massive geth again, he jumped up onto his back.

Peeking around their respective cover, Garrus and Tali were stunned into speechlessness. Both briefly wondered if they were somehow hallucinating, but as the insane scene continued to unfold, they realized that what they were watching was real. Their Commander was absolutely reckless, crazy, amazing, and, in Tali's opinion, more than a little sexy.

The two teammates who weren't riding bareback on the Colossus were completely forgotten by the machine, as it turned in comical, halting circles trying to find the human that had so recently been nearby. From their vantage point, they watched as Shepard held onto the geth's neck with one arm while he used the other to pump round after round from the shotgun into the metallic monster's hard carapace.

After what seemed like ages, but was actually only 80 or 90 seconds, Shepard had completely destroyed a square-meter section of armor. _Ha ha, motherfucker!_ Shepard crowed internally. _Not so tough when you can't fucking find me, are ya, you fucking rat-eating bastard!_ He punctuated each epithet with another shotgun blast.

Abruptly, a much larger crack followed the thunderous boom of his shotgun, and blue light began spilling out of the hole on the Colossus's back. _Uh oh. That last shot may have clipped the mass effect core. I should-_

His train of thought was interrupted suddenly and violently as the geth's mass effect core went critical and exploded, flinging the N7 operative away and momentarily blinding Garrus and Tali, who ducked back behind their crates just before a shower of shrapnel and Colossus parts pelted their position. Once the storm of debris had subsided, Tali ran out from behind her cover, followed quickly by Garrus.

"Commander!" Garrus shouted. _That was the most irresponsible thing I have ever witnessed. What was he thinking? Was he even thinking at all? First he takes on a heavy cannon by himself on Luna, and now a geth Colossus! How has he survived this long?_

"Shepard!" Tali's voice was tinged with near-hysteria. _Oh Ancestors, please let him be okay! I'll never yell at him again if you keep him safe!_

Running over to the spot where the Colossus had stood only moments before, they scanned the area frantically, searching for any sign of his black armor. Spotting a bit of black at the corner of the large industrial structure, Tali let out an inarticulate shout and rushed forward. Shepard was lying in a crumpled, immobile heap. She immediately knelt down next to him and started a medical scan, all while repeatedly calling his name.

Garrus ran up behind her and looked down at the area surrounding Shepard's landing site. He noticed a large dent in the thick tubular frame of the refinery. _By the spirits! Did he hit that? An impact like that should have snapped him in half. I don't know if his spine could have survived that amount of force. __**If**__ he survived, I don't know if he'll ever be able to walk again. By all rights, just being alive would be a gift._

Tali's voice interrupted Garrus's concerned thoughts. "Tali'Zorah to Normandy, come in. Tali'Zorah to Normandy, do you hear me!" She felt Garrus's hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her, and this only served to distress her further. _I remember when Shepard put his hand on my shoulder like that on Feros. His touch made me feel so warm inside. Was that only over a week ago? It seems like it's only been a few days, at the most._ Joker's voice came over her radio, snapping her back to her present, much less pleasant situation.

"Normandy to ground team, we read you. Whatcha need?"

"Joker, you need to land at our location. Shepard's down and-"

"Belay that, Joker." Shepard said weakly, his head turning to look at Tali crouched above him like an angel of mercy. _I can think of a great many worse things to wake up to than a pretty woman looking at me all concerned-like. Well, I'm guessing she looks concerned underneath her helmet. She certainly __**sounded**__ concerned, anyway._ "We're fine down here. Stay in orbit, we'll call you when we need a pickup."

"Shepard!" Tali exclaimed. "You can't be serious! You could have died!"

"I'm fine, Tali." Shepard said, trying to sit up. "If I'm awake, I can't be that-oh!" He gasped as he sat up and a massive surge of pain crashed through him. It felt like his entire body had been worked over by an army of construction workers all wielding sledgehammers.

"See?" Tali said, a little smug.

"I'm inclined to agree with Tali, Commander." Garrus spoke up, drawing Shepard's attention. "Can you feel your legs?"

Shepard wiggled his toes inside his boots. "Of course I can, Garrus? Why would you even ask-" He stopped talking as he saw Garrus's pointed look and noticed the large dent caved into the corner of the facility. "Oh wow, did I do that?"

"I believe so." Garrus confirmed with a nod.

"Well damn. I guess I oughta write Aldrin Labs a thank-you note for not making completely shitty armor. That or I owe my parents a thumb-up for making me so awesome." He tried to grin winningly, but it came out as a deformed grimace due to his currently apoplectic level of pain.

"Shepard, we need to get you back to the ship." Tali broke in breathlessly, turning away from the dent Shepard's body had made, shivering as she thought of how bad things could have been. "I'm showing two broken ribs and a fractured clavicle. And I'm certain Doctor Chakwas will find even more."

"It's fine, Tali." Shepard grabbed her hand, trying to calm her down. "I just hit the injector for some medi-gel in my suit, and that'll get me through 'til we find T'Soni. Then I'll go back to the ship nice and quiet, and let Chakwas run all the tests she wants. Deal?"

Tali stayed quiet for a few moments, while considering her options. Realizing that this was the best deal Shepard would offer, she nodded her head mutely.

"Good." Shepard looked up at Garrus and held up a hand. "Now gimme a hand so I can get off the ground." The turian helped his commander up. As he took a few ginger steps towards the entrance to the Prothean ruins, Tali and Garrus saw the back of his armor.

"Uh, Commander?"

"What is it, Garrus?" Shepard asked without looking back.

"Umm, you might want to check out the back of your armor."

"Well, since I don't have eyes in the back of my head, it'll have to wait until we get back on the ship." _Ugh. That came out a lot more pissed off than I meant it to. That medi-gel didn't do nearly enough to dull the pain. Fucking ribs. Weak ass pieces of shit. Chakwas is gonna be so pissed at me, especially if Tali tells her I hurt it on Luna and never got it checked out. If she values her life, Tali had better not say anything._ Taking a few more steps, Shepard stifled a groan. "Alright, that's enough gawking at the scenery. Let's go find Benezia's daughter and see what she's got to say."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

"Was it really necessary to destroy the Prothean ruins, Commander?" The asari councilor's voice was grinding on Shepard's last nerve as he tried to deliver his report on Therum.

"I got the job done."

"Yes but-" The turian councilor began to speak up.

_Fuck this shit._ Shepard abruptly lost the battle for his temper. "Joker, lose this channel."

A moment later, the holograms depicting the Council disappeared. "Channel lost, Commander." Joker chuckled over the intercom. "You know they're probably not gonna like that, right?"

"They can shove it up their collective asses. I'm tired, everything hurts, and I just got brain-raped, again. That's twice in as many weeks. It's getting real old, real fast." Shepard grumbled, more to himself than to his pilot as he left the comm room and headed for his cabin.

"Yeah, I feel real bad for you Commander. Tell you what, next time a sexy asari wants to 'embrace' you, just send 'em my way."

"Sure thing, Joker." Shepard rolled his eyes. "And after you 'embrace eternity' with them, call me up and tell me how great it felt. Really. I'll be waiting."

"But a gentleman never kisses and tells."

"Shouldn't stop you, Joker."

"Ouch, Commander. Low blow."

"You're right, it was. It's awful hard to hit you when you're so little."

"Again! You're on a roll, Commander."

"Thanks, Joker."

"You have a heading for me?"

"Just head for the Citadel 'til I change my mind."

"Roger-Dodger."

Shepard opened his cabin and sat down heavily in his chair. Closing his eyes and breathing deeply for a few seconds, he tried to drive the pain away from body through sheer force of will. Giving up on that idea, he stood up again and started removing his armor, curious to see what all the fuss had been about down on Therum. He finally pulled off the back of his armor, and then gasped as he brought it around in front of him. Which he instantly regretted as another wave of pain coursed through him.

_Holy fuck. No wonder Tali and Garrus gave me shit about continuing the mission. How in the hell did I get up and walk away?_ The light Hydra armor was crushed in a diagonal line stretching from where his left shoulder would be all the way down to his right hip. There were various bits and pieces of light plate missing, and the lighter mesh down near his hips, which allowed him to twist and bend, was in tatters. Turning it around to look at the inside, he saw several parts of the hard outer shell had been bent inwards and now resembled claws. Looking closer, he could see some dried blood coating the edges. _Well shit, I guess that explains why my back feels like it's on fire. I should probably go see Chakwas now. But I wanna check in with Liara first; make sure she's getting settled in alright. Guess I should do that first. No telling how long the doc'll keep me off my feet._

Getting up, Shepard wiped off his face and hands in the sink and changed into his casuals. _Oh fuck, walking hurts! Alright Spikey boy, nonchalant and casual is the order of the day. Proper motoring hurts like a bitch_. As he walked through the med-bay, he nodded in greeting at Chakwas. She responded likewise, and then went back to her work. Shepard paused just before the door into the lab, having decided at the last second to be polite, rather than barging in as he normally would. He knocked on the door, and listened for some kind of response.

A few moments later, Liara's muffled voice came through the door. "Please come in."

Shepard hit the door control, and stepped inside. Liara was standing in front of the desk, and looked like her mouth was full. Peeking around her, Shepard noticed a plate of food sitting on her desk. _Ah, damnit. I hadn't even thought that she might be eating. Shit, I shouldn'ta bothered her._ "I'm sorry to bother you, Liara. If I had known you were eating, I woulda left you in peace."

"No, I do not mind the company, Commander. I hope you do not mind that I took some food from your kitchen. I was just so hungry . . ." She trailed off apologetically.

"Of course not! I'm sorry I didn't offer you any."

"I understand completely, Commander. You seem very tired, if I may say so. From our brief joining, I can see that your life has been full of pain and stress the last few weeks."

"Nah, you can say so." _I must be really tired if I'm not more pissed off that she went digging around in my head. Fuck. I wonder . . . how long was she stuck in there?_ His curiosity quickly overpowered his propriety, so he decided to give voice to his concerns. "Erm, how long were you in that Prothean bubble, anyway?"

Her gaze turned downward and her voice became sad. "I am . . . not sure, Commander. I find it very difficult to keep track of time underground. I feel as though it was a week, at least. Perhaps ten days."

_Son of a bitch. I shoulda got there sooner._ Shepard's frustration boiled over yet again, this time directed at himself. _God damn it. I didn't need to help Hackett out right away. The fucking drones woulda still been insane if I'd waited a week to do that. Fuck fuck fuck!_ "I'm sorry I couldn't get to you sooner, Liara. I really am."

"Do not be, Commander." Her voice was soothing. "You rescued me from that place, and saved me from the geth. And you kept that vile krogan from taking me to Saren." She shuddered at the recent memory. "Thank you, Commander."

_Well shit. I might just blush. It's kinda nice being called a hero by a looker like Liara. Maybe I should try to rescue more damsels in distress._ "Don't worry about it, Liara. Good to have you with us." He smiled at her. "Did Chakwas give you a once-over?"

"She did." She nodded. "Her knowledge of asari physiology is impressive, Commander."

"She's the best." Shepard agreed. _Although her bedside manner could use a bit less anger and a bit more sympathy. Ha, like that'll happen._

"If I may ask, Commander, what happened with your armor? I noticed that it seemed rather, um, distressed?" She sounded hesitant.

"Well that's-" Whatever Shepard was going to say was interrupted by Tali's voice yelling from the other room.

"That little bosh'tet!"

"Rain check, Liara?" Shepard asked, and decided to take her confused expression as assent. "That story'll have to wait, because I have a feeling a very angry little quarian is gonna come storming through those doors any minute."

* * *

"I admire Shepard's ability to improvise." Garrus said to Tali as they rode the elevator up from the hangar.

"You mean how he used a mining laser to blow a hole in a set of ancient Prothean ruins, sinking it, and almost us, into lava?" She answered mirthfully. Continuing, her voice took on a sour note. "And all to rescue the daughter of someone who probably wants us dead? I can see how you would 'admire' that. Turians, humans, you're all the same. It's all about the explosions." _And the exotic women._ She thought with a tinge of venom.

"Are you jealous, Tali?" Garrus asked with a smirk. "Don't forget, we rescued you from an intractable situation with no means of escape, as well. So you're both on even footing in my book."

"Thanks, Garrus." Tali said grumpily. "And no, I'm not jealous. I just think she's ridiculous. Who just presses buttons in an ancient Prothean ruin?"

"Shepard." Garrus responded with a shrug.

"You might be right." Tali acknowledged his point with a slight nod of her head. _Not that that makes me feel much better._

Garrus sensed that Tali was upset about something, so he decided to try to lighten the mood. "So how long do you think it will take for Shepard to go see Doctor Chakwas?"

Tali huffed and crossed her arms. "Not long, if he knows what's good for him. As soon as this elevator gets up to the crew deck, I'm going to the med bay. And if he's not there, I'll hack his omni-tool and make it blare like a klaxon until he finally shows up." She began tapping her foot impatiently, scowling at the elevator through her facemask. "If this elevator ever gets to the crew deck."

"I know what you mean."

"The Normandy is supposed to be the most technologically advanced ship in the galaxy, and the product of the very best that turians and humans can come up with. And yet this elevator moves like a dreadnought through atmosphere." She shot a glare at Garrus.

"Hey, don't look at me." Garrus said, putting his hands up innocently. "I had nothing to do with the Normandy's design. And elevators on turian ships zip right along."

"Uh huh." Tali said, unconvinced. "Finally!" She exclaimed as the elevators opened up onto the crew deck. She immediately stalked out of the elevator without another word to Garrus, and turned left to head for the med-bay.

"Bye Tali." Garrus said to the empty elevator. "It was nice chatting with you."

Tali was already too far gone to catch his sarcastic comment, luckily for the turian. As the med-bay door swooshed open, she looked in expectantly. Much to her dismay, Commander Shepard was nowhere to be seen. Grinding her teeth, she walked over to Chakwas.

"Have you seen the Commander, Doctor?" She asked, making an effort to sound pleasant.

"As a matter of fact I have." The doctor looked at Tali curiously. "But why would you be looking for him here?"

"That little bosh'tet!" Tali shouted, ignoring Chakwas's question. "Where is he, Doctor?"

"He went into the lab, which he told me is going to house our new asari crewmember for the duration of our voyage. I haven't seen him come out, yet."

"Well, you'll be seeing him soon, Doctor." Tali said as she stormed past the human woman.

"Shepard!" She shouted as soon as the door opened. "What are you doing? You're supposed to be letting Chakwas fix you!"

"I was gonna, Tali." Shepard said placatingly, holding out a hand to calm her down. "I just wanted to check in on Liara, make sure she's doing ok, ya know?"

"I'm sure she'd be fine waiting until after you've gotten your injuries looked at!" Tali yelled emphatically, with a look of scorn at Liara.

"Easy there, Tal." Shepard said, catching the intent behind Tali's posture. "She didn't ask me to come in here. It's all my fault, alright?'

"I know it is, you big bosh'tet! Now get in there and let Chakwas do a scan!"

"Aye aye, ma'am." Shepard said with a mock salute. "What does bosh'tet mean, anyway?"

"It's a curse word."

"I guessed that, based on the way you used it." Shepard rolled his eyes, which she didn't catch. "But what kind of curse word?"

"I'm not completely sure, but I think it's similar to your 'son of a bitch.'"

"Ah. Good to know." He said with a shrug. This time she rolled her eyes at him.

"So Commander, Tali'Zorah informed me that you may need my services?" Doctor Chakwas put an end to their conversation and pointed Shepard towards one of the beds.

Sitting down heavily, he shrugged. "Yeah, might need a bit of help. Tali thinks I might have a broken rib."

"No, I **know** you have two broken ribs and a fractured clavicle." Tali interjected. Turning to Chakwas, she continued. "I did a quick scan while we were on Therum."

"And you let him continue the mission like that?" The good doctor raised an eyebrow at Tali.

"We tried to make him go back to the ship, but he's a stubborn little bosh'tet."

"You know, I'm sitting right here you two." Shepard pointed out.

"So you are." Chakwas turned to him. "Care to tell me what happened?" She asked as she started an in-depth scan.

"Eh, not really. The story'll sound better from Tali." He leaned back and closed his eyes. "You tell it, Tali. I'm gonna take a nap."

Shaking her head, Tali turned to Chakwas and began describing the fight with the Colossus.

When she finished, Doctor Chakwas looked down her nose at Shepard. "That was extremely foolish, Commander."

"But it worked, Doc." Shepard tried to shrug unconcernedly, but was in too much pain to pull it off. "That's all that matters."

"Unless you die." Tali pointed out with crossed arms. "That also matters."

"Aw Tali, you do- Ow!" Dr. Chakwas interrupted Shepard's sarcastic comment by poking a large needle into his chest. "That hurt like shit! What the hell was that for?"

"It was a heavy dose of painkiller and tranquilizer." The doctor said, turning away from her patient to set the empty needle down. "I'm going to need to perform quite a bit of work to get you back to 100%, and my job will be much easier if you can't squirm about or argue with me."

"But Doc-" He tried to fight the growing feeling of peace and tranquility coursing through his veins.

"No buts, Commander." She said firmly. "Good night, Shepard." She added as his eyes closed.

"Night-night." He whispered. Chakwas and Tali shared a smile at this unexpected show of innocence, and then laughed quietly, together, when he started snoring.

"Thank you for your help, Ms. Zorah." Chakwas said as she stopped laughing and connected Shepard to an IV.

"You're welcome, Doctor. And please feel free to call me Tali." The quarian responded, tearing her eyes away from her sleeping commander.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

When Shepard woke up in the darkened med-bay a few hours later, it took him a few seconds to remember where he was. _Damn Chakwas and her drugs! They make me feel all fuzzy. Speaking of fuzziness, did she really need to feed me her entire stock of cotton balls? I need some water._ As he went to get up from the bed, he noticed an IV attached to his arm. Gently pulling it out, he moved to the water cooler in the corner, poured himself a small glass, and then returned to his bed. Sitting up with his back against the wall, he pondered his next move.

_I think we should just keep going back to the Citadel. I need some new armor, and I wanna check in with Barla Von to see if I've got enough cash banked to go buy those Spectre weapons. Then I'd like a chance to see exactly what kind of assets I've got with me. Liara's probably a pretty good biotic, but I don't know many archaeologists who are any good with guns. Actually, I don't know any archaeologists, so maybe I'm just being an ass. But I need concrete details, anyway. Wrex is a fucking tank, so I'm not real worried about him. What with him being a krogan battle master and all, I'm sure he can kick ass with anything I put in his hands. It'd be nice to get an idea of what Garrus's skills are with something besides a sniper rifle, but I can't risk jeopardizing a mission to do it groundside. Same goes for Tali with anything that isn't her shotgun. I know what Ashley and Kaidan can do, but I can't make just the others prove their skills to me._

Shepard came to a decision. _So it'll have to be a full team thing. I'm sure Ashley will want to bitch about that too, but if she knows what's good for her, she'll keep her trap shut. Otherwise she'll be a permanent feature of the Citadel, or the Serpent Nebula itself if she __**really**__ pisses me off. But where the hell can I do that? I doubt C-Sec will let me just start shooting up the wards for "practice." Oh, duh, C-Sec. They must have a training range somewhere, right? I can just commandeer that shit for a few hours. And luckily I happen to have a former C-Sec officer onboard. Actually, __**is**__ he a former C-Sec officer? Maybe he's just on leave. I should ask. I'll open with that, then I'll ask him about a gun range._

Just as Shepard went to get up from his bed again, the med-bay doors opened and Dr. Chakwas entered. "Commander. Just where do you think you're going?"

"I need to ask Garrus something." Shepard said without meeting her eyes. "Thanks for patching me up, Doc. You did a helluva job. I don't feel a thing."

"That's because the IV you ripped out was a morphine drip. You were supposed to be unconscious and recovering for several more hours."

"Aw Doc, you know I'm smarter than that. I didn't rip out the IV." Shepard said, his voice tinged with sarcasm. "I gently removed it from my person."

"Quibble over words if you want, but the fact remains: you removed your IV, and you seem to be suffering from the misapprehension that you will be leaving my medical bay." By that time, Shepard had reached the door, which was guarded by Dr. Chakwas. The raven-haired medical professional stood with her arms crossed across her chest, leveling her strongest "doctors know best" glare at the commander.

"I'm the captain of this ship, Chakwas, so I make the rules." Shepard stared into the doctor's eyes. _If I hadn't recently stared down a krogan warlord in Saren's employ while standing in a set of Prothean ruins that were sinking into a volcano, she'd probably be intimidating. Too bad that whole krogan-Prothean-volcano thing actually happened, though._ "And I'm leaving."

To her credit, Chakwas didn't flinch or back down. "You may be captain, but I'm the chief medical officer. And you are not leaving."

Shepard pushed past her, as gently as he could. "Sorry Doc. Your concerns have been noted and overruled."

Shaking her head, Dr. Chakwas watched Shepard limp away towards the elevator. _Foolish, stubborn man. Maybe someday he'll learn to take care of himself._

In the elevator, Shepard leaned against the wall and took a few deep breaths. _Shit, I think the morphine might be starting to wear off. That wonderful dull ache that shows up to let me know I'm in for a world of hurt is knocking on the door, wanting to join me for breakfast. Wait, what time is it? I shoulda checked before I went down to see Garrus._ Looking down at his omni-tool, he checked the chrono. _Eh, it's 0500. He oughta be up. And if not, I'll wake him up._ Shepard grinned wickedly. When the elevator finally reached the hangar deck, Shepard looked out and saw that Garrus was already awake, and was working on the Mako's maintenance console. Shepard walked over and tapped the turian on the shoulder.

"Hey Garrus. You're up early."

"I could say the same to you, Commander." Garrus replied, eyeing the human up and down. "Tali told me that Dr. Chakwas would have you in the med-bay for at least 24 hours."

"Well, she tried." Shepard shrugged his shoulders. "But I go where I want on my ship. So why're you up so early, anyway?"

"I enjoy the quiet, so I usually get up early. Solitude is difficult to find on the Citadel, but I never really noticed how much I missed it until I came onboard the Normandy."

"Huh. Arcturus is really busy during the day, but it gets pretty dead most nights. Probably because it's mostly a military station."

"How long have you lived on Arcturus, Commander?"

"Grew up there, Garrus. Once I enlisted, space sorta became my home, but I keep an apartment on the station still. Gotta have some place to keep my shit, ya know?"

"Do you still have family on the station?"

"No." Shepard decided to change the topic before Garrus could ask the obvious follow-up question. "But enough chit-chat. I came down here for a reason: are there gun ranges on the Citadel? How do I get ahold of one of those?" Shepard suddenly remembered there was another question he wanted to ask Garrus. "Oh, and did you get a leave of absence to come with me, or did they make you retire? Answer that last question first, if you don't mind." _Fuck Spike, get your shit together. You decided not five minutes ago to lead with the whole "did I get you fired" question._

Smiling slightly, Garrus finally stopped working on the Mako and turned toward the commander. "Sure. I was granted a leave of absence to pursue Saren. Due in no small part, I believe, because of how convinced I was that he was crooked in the first place."

"So maybe they did it to get you off the Citadel?" Shepard offered. "So you couldn't say 'I told you so' too much?"

"It's possible." Garrus chuckled. "In any event, they granted my request, so here I am. And you were asking about gun ranges?"

"Yeah. By the way, I'm glad C-Sec let you come with me. You've been a big help so far, and I doubt that'll stop anytime soon."

"Thank you, Commander." Garrus accepted the compliment with a nod. "As far as gun ranges go, there are several on the Citadel. There's one in each of the wards, and one on the Presidium."

"Excellent. And who do I talk to about reserving one of them?"

"They're not really 'reserveable,' Commander. C-Sec policy doesn't allow anyone who isn't a member of C-Sec to have access to the ranges."

"Bullshit." Shepard stated flatly. "There's always a way around policy. Who oversees the ranges? Who's in charge of them?"

"Each ward has a Captain overseeing it. They would have control over access to the range in their ward."

"Perfect. I'll call them when we get closer to the Citadel." Shepard pondered, briefly, whether he wanted to head back up to the crew deck and try to get some more sleep or stay and talk with Garrus a bit longer. Deciding that his chest hurt too much to seriously consider sleeping, he chose to keep talking. "So Garrus. How are you liking the Normandy so far?"

"She's a wonderful ship, Commander. And I'm glad to be helping you track down Saren. I feel like I've already done more to help the galaxy during the short time I've been working with you than in all the time I spent with C-Sec."

"Yeah? You didn't like working for C-Sec?"

"No, I didn't. Working for C-Sec, you feel like you're buried under enough red tape to crush an elcor." Garrus sounded angry. "The bureaucratic oversight is stifling."

"If working for C-Sec was so bad, why'd you stay there? Why didn't you quit, maybe go back into the military or something? I'd think your government would be happy as hell to have a guy with skills like yours back in the fold?"

"I can't quit, Commander. My father was a member of C-Sec for more than 20 years. He was, and still is, respected by many people for his unwavering adherence to 'the book.' Executor Pallin practically reveres him."

"So you feel obligated to keep Daddy happy by staying in C-Sec?"

"I guess you could say that." Garrus said with a downcast impression.

"Ah hell, that came out totally dickish. I didn't mean it that way, man." Shepard cast frantically around for a way to change the topic to something less depressing for his turian comrade. "So what was the worst red-tape mess you saw while you were at C-Sec?"

"The worst situation I observed, or the worst situation I was a part of?"

"Either. Both. Whatever you wanna talk about."

Garrus chuckled darkly. "Well, there was one time I was investigating a salarian geneticist, named Dr. Saleon. There had been a sudden uptick in black market trade of body parts, mostly organs. Nothing too extreme, just your basic hearts, livers, testicles-"

"Wait, what the fuck?" Shepard had to interrupt. "Testicles?"

"Yeah. Some krogan believe that a testicle transplant can help them beat the genophage."

"Only the stupid ones." Wrex added from across the hangar.

"Which happens to be most of your species, Wrex." Garrus countered.

"Shut it, Wrex." Shepard said without any real bite. "I wanna hear more about krogan testicles." _That sounded really fucking wrong._ "Garrus, buddy, do krogan really buy somebody else's balls and sew them on?"

"Yes. It's not cheap, either, at 10,000 credits apiece. That's 40,000 credits for a full set. Some unscrupulous doctors out there are making a lot of money."

"Krogan have four testicles?" _What in the name of all that is holy do they need with four testicles? Imagine the mess! Actually, I don't want to think about what they do with twice as many balls as everybody else, because there're some disgusting goddamn images now burning themselves into my brain. I wonder if Chakwas or that hot Citadel doc Michel can do like a selective lobotomy or something. Just carve my imagination right out, maybe? I'm never gonna be able to look at Wrex the same way again._

"Yes." Garrus said, as if it were common knowledge. "But anyway, back to the story. We were worried that there might be a new dealer or harvester on the station, so we tried to track down one of the organs, or even just a sample. We eventually procured a piece of liver tissue, and genetic testing led us to a turian. Surprisingly, the turian was alive, unharmed, and still had his liver."

"That seems weird."

Garrus nodded and continued. "It seemed like a dead end. So I did some more digging, and found out the turian had worked briefly for this geneticist, Saleon. I went to his lab, looking for something to indicate unlicensed organ cloning."

"Did you find any evidence?"

"No. Not a single piece. Lacking any physical evidence, I brought in some of his employees for interrogation. And this is where the investigation went off-script. If you're squeamish, Commander, I can stop now." Garrus smirked at Shepard as he completed his statement.

"Bitch please. I have an iron stomach." Shepard said, waving a hand dismissively. "What happened next?"

"During an interrogation, one of the detainees started bleeding, profusely. I offered to have a C-Sec doctor patch him up, and he lost it. Started trying to leave C-Sec by any means possible. Naturally, I ordered a complete scan. What we found proved to be our big break." Garrus paused, for dramatic effect.

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"

"Well, it's not every day I have my Commanding Officer hanging on my every word. Wouldn't you be milking it a little?"

"A little, yes. But there's nothing little about your story anymore."

"Fair enough." Garrus conceded the point. "The employees weren't just employees, they were living, breathing, walking-around test tubes. Once the organ grew to its full-size, he'd harvest it and sell it on the black market. However, if the organ didn't grow properly, he just left it in their body. Most of these people were a mess, but only on the inside."

"That's fucking sick, Garrus. I've seen some sick shit, but that is really fucking out there. I'm really hoping that the next part of your story is you making this Saleon prick's insides become his outsides."

"No." Garrus shook his head in disgust. "That's the worst part: we never caught him."

"The fuck you mean? How could you not catch him? You had his ass dead-to-rights!"

"Once he got wind that we were on to him, he ran. He blew up his lab, took a few of his science-project employees with him, and headed for the nearest space dock. He was on a ship and off the station before I could find him. When Citadel Control tried to stop him, he threatened to kill his hostages if we tried to bring him in."

"So what?" Shepard scoffed. "Those hostages were probably dead anyway, and a bullet to the brain would be a better death than being dissected for your organs."

"I agree." Garrus concurred vehemently. "But C-Sec Headquarters didn't. They countermanded my order to shoot him down. Said they couldn't risk the casualties if pieces of his ship hit the wards, and couldn't bring themselves to kill the hostages."

"I can understand that." Shepard conceded with a grimace. "Obviously you don't want to hurt even more innocent people. But couldn't they go after him with a ship or something?"

"Apparently not. After he escaped, I went down to Pallin and gave him a piece of my mind. I told him I thought his policies, and him, actually, were terrible, and weren't protecting the people worth a damn. He told me I was free to quit anytime I wanted to. I almost did, but in the end, decided I could do more good as a C-Sec Detective than sitting in an apartment whining about how bad C-Sec was."

"I'm sorry, Garrus." Shepard said, putting a hand on his crewmember's shoulder. "That was a shitty situation, and a hard decision. Did you ever get another crack at Saleon?"

"No. I sent out feelers every now and then, and thought I found him not too long ago. Nevertheless, when I presented my evidence to C-Sec, they said they weren't 'convinced.' They even implied that I might be holding a grudge, and that it was affecting my judgment."

"Those motherfuckers. You still know where he is?"

"Yes. I kept the transponder frequency for his new ship."

"Send it to me." Shepard pounded his fist into his palm, then instantly regretted it as his chest surged with pain again. "We'll go get that motherfucker. We can't go right now, since I'm still recuperating from riding that Colossus bareback. But as soon as I'm healthy, we'll find his ship, and nail his ass to the wall."

"Are you sure, Commander?" Garrus asked, surprised. _I would never have asked him to go out of his way to help me, but it means a lot._

"Of course." Shepard punched the turian lightly in the shoulder. "Brothers-in-arms, baby. And he seems like the kind of twisted piece of shit that needs to be brought to justice."

"Thank you, Comm- Shepard." Garrus corrected himself. _If he's going to help me nail Saleon, I can at least respect his wishes to be informal in our relations._ "I've never had a CO who took the time to talk to me like this. It's new, but not unpleasant."

"Glad to hear it." _Hell, while I'm down here I may as well check in with everybody else. Otherwise, I'm sure I'll have Ashley bitching to me about "spending all my time with the aliens and ignoring the good, god-fearing Alliance soldiers. God damn, she can be a pain in the ass sometimes. Oh well._ "Take care, Garrus."

"You too, Shepard."

Shepard turned from the turian and headed for Ashley. _I'll start there, then talk to Wrex, then check in on engineering and Tali, and that'll bring me close to the elevator to head upstairs. Then maybe I'll chat with Kaidan and Liara before finding a C-Sec Captain to intimidate into giving me his gun range. At least that should be fun._


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

"Hey Ash, got a minute?"

"I guess, Skipper." Ashley turned reluctantly from her station but still snapped to attention. "What do you need?"

"At ease, Ashley." Shepard said, returning her salute with one of his own, then wincing as the motion put more stress on his chest. "Seriously, this is an off-the-record conversation. I just wanted to talk."

"Why, Commander? You made your feelings pretty clear in the briefing room." She said crossly as she started to turn back towards her rifle, which lay disassembled on one of the fold-down workspaces.

Shepard reached out and grabbed her shoulder, intending to spin her around. His touch, however, poked a hole in the veneer of indifference she had constructed. She responded with a spinning haymaker that threatened to break his jaw if it connected. In a flash, Shepard's instincts took over and he stepped in and parried her punch away. Ashley's own momentum carried her dangerously close to losing her feet, and Shepard took advantage of it to launch an instinctual counter. He snapped his right elbow to the side of her now-unprotected neck, and followed it with a hook to her solar plexus. Remembering, just before contact, to take a little of the speed off of the punch, he managed to only knock all of the air from her body with a loud "huff," instead of breaking a rib or displacing her diaphragm. Ashley fell to her hands and knees, and spent the next several seconds trying to suck air into her lungs. As quickly as it had started, it was over.

A part of Shepard's mind couldn't help but analyze the brief engagement. _Shit. I must be hurting more than I thought. That first elbow took waaay too long to make contact. Against a real opponent, I woulda been fucked._

At the same time, Ashley was wondering how such a large man could move so fast. In the blink of an eye, Shepard had managed to reduce her to a quivering pile of meat in. _Combat usually slows down for me. Hell, sometimes I swear I can even see the rounds flying past me. But he moved so fast! How did he do that?_ She finally caught her breath enough to look up at him, and saw him clutching his side and grimacing. Even though he had now thoroughly dressed her down both verbally and physically, her first instinct was the safety of her commanding officer. "Are you okay, Commander?"

Shepard chuckled, then winced again as he remembered that laughing hurt, a lot. "Sure am, Chief. How about you? I tried to take a little something off the swings, but sometimes it's hard. I didn't hurt you too bad, did I?"

"I'm alright, Commander." She responded, climbing slowly to her feet. "How did you do that?"

Shepard glanced quickly around the hangar. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Garrus and Wrex look back to their work with what looked suspiciously like smiles on their faces. Shaking his head, he answered her. "Lots of training, Ash. And what happened to you calling me Skipper?"

"Well, I just tried to punch you, sir. I figured at best I'd be getting dropped off at the Citadel when we dock, and at worst be getting sent to a disciplinary hearing."

Shepard waved his hand dismissively. "Pshaw. Like I have time to deal with administrative bullshit. First, if you want to, feel free to call me Skipper." He flashed her a genuine smile. "And second, tell me why you took a swing at me. Then we'll talk about our options."

"Ooookay, Skipper." Ashley practically stuttered, her racing mind trying to figure out where this conversation was going. "I was just a little upset, that's all."

"A little upset? Really?" A sardonic smile crept over Shepard's face. "I looked up your service history not long after Eden Prime, Ash. And looking at all the crap assignments you've gotten, and the number of times you've requested a transfer to a ship, I'd say that if anything, you woulda been a 'little upset' at the Alliance's treatment of you, not at the guy who gave you a chance to get into space."

"I guess you're right, Skipper." Ashley admitted, looking down at the ground. "Truth is, I was a little hurt by what you said in the comm room before Therum." _Oh my God, I cannot believe I'm saying this to my commanding officer! Whom I just tried to punch out, and who is not immediately having me court-martialed!_

"Look, Ash, I'm not gonna say I'm sorry for what I said, because I'm not. It was something you needed to hear. Regardless of whether you think we're the ideal team or not; the fact remains that we **are** a team. If we don't all work together, Saren wins. And I certainly don't want that. Do you?"

"Of course not, sir."

"Good. And I hate that 'sir' crap. I'm not one of those spit-and-polish, by-the-book kinda leaders, if you haven't noticed that by now. So call me Skipper, or Skip, or Shepard, or, if you absolutely have to have some formality, Commander. But none of that 'sir' bullshit unless you want me to get pissed off at you."

"Aye aye, Skipper. I certainly don't want to piss you off again."

Shepard smirked. "For some reason, I had a feeling you'd say that." This made Ashley crack a small smile, which made Shepard feel better. "Right. Now that we're done with that annoying bullshit, tell me a little about yourself, Ash."

The Commander's apparent caring made a feeling of acceptance course through Ashley. It also helped to drive away the still-present sting of attacking her commanding officer, and the pain of his counterpunch. "Well, Commander, I mean, Shepard, sorry, there's not much to tell. I've got three sisters, and no brothers. I'm the oldest. As far back as I've ever been told, my family's been Alliance."

"Got it in your blood, huh?" Shepard smiled. "Me too."

"Really?" Ashley was surprised. "Your mom or your dad?"

"Both. My dad was a marine, and my mum was navy. I never really had a chance to be anything but Alliance, did I?" He said with a sad smile.

"Guess not, Skipper." Ashley acknowledged, not really noticing the sorrowful part of Shepard's smile. "You have any siblings?"

"No." Shepard said, shaking his head, still a little sad. "What's it like, being the big sister?"

"It can be tough sometimes. But it's really nice to know that no matter what, I have someone to talk to about personal stuff. It's not really something I can do with other marines, you know?"

"No." Shepard said with a small chuckle. "But I think I can guess. Thanks for the talk, Ash. And remember, if you have problems, don't let them fester. Come find me and talk to me. Alright?"

"You got it, Skipper." She answered with a smile.

"See you later." Shepard said before leaving her to her weapons maintenance. He walked over to where Wrex was standing, apparently, not doing much of anything. "Wrex."

"Shepard."

"How're things?"

"Not bad. I enjoyed your little skirmish with the Gunnery Chief over there." He added with a crafty smile.

"You saw that, huh?" Sheppard asked unnecessarily. When Wrex nodded, he decided to continue. "You know how it is, right? Sometimes you just have to make sure everybody knows that you are not to be fucked with, even if it's your own people who need reminding."

"I understand perfectly, Shepard."

"Oh really? Sounds like a bit of a story there, Wrex." Shepard crossed his arms, intentionally mirroring the krogan. "Feel like sharing?"

"No."

"Well, if you don't, I'm gonna have to make up my own story. I'm quite good at that, actually. Probably stems from being such a fantastic liar." Shepard smiled evilly. "But I can practically guarantee that whatever story I make up is worse than the real one. I also have the unfortunate habit of telling stories while drinking. The veracity of the story rarely comes up in such a situation."

"Fine." Wrex uncrossed his arms and stood up straight, away from the wall that he had been leaning on. "When I was young, I fought my way to the head of a tribe. Unlike most krogan, I was smart enough to realize that fighting the rest of the galaxy while stricken with the genophage was a path to certain extinction. I convinced my tribe to focus on breeding, if only for one generation. I saw it as a way to boost our numbers, and help preserve the krogan for future centuries." Shepard stared raptly at Wrex, waiting for him to continue.

"After a time, several other tribes started to realize that what my tribe was doing was smart, and was establishing us as a power to be reckoned with. Some of them started imitating us, focusing on breeding instead of going to war. Unfortunately, not all of the tribes agreed. One of the most outspoken voices against my plan was a battlemaster who had survived the Rebellions, Jarrod. He wanted the krogan to re-arm and fight against the galaxy, against the wrongs that had been visited upon us. Eventually, the balance of power shifted so much that the tribes following my plan were nearly as numerous as those following his. To try to find some common ground, he invited us to a Crush." Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "A Crush is a meeting of all the tribal leaders, held on hallowed grounds."

"You knew it was a trap, right?" Shepard asked, unwilling to believe that Wrex, even a young Wrex, would have ignored the obvious signs of danger.

"Of course." Wrex scoffed, before his voice took on a somber tone that Shepard couldn't ever remember hearing from the krogan. "But when your father invites you to a Crush, well, there are some laws even we hold sacred."

"Jarrod was your father?"

"Yes." Wrex paused, and then continued. "I, and those leaders of the tribes loyal to me, went to the Crush. A Crush always takes place at the resting place of our dead, where violence is forbidden. For a brief while, everything seemed to be proceeding well enough. Both sides were actually talking, instead of just menacing each other." Wrex shook his head in anger. "Of course, it couldn't last. Once Jarrod realized that we wouldn't back down, he decided to desecrate the only 'holy' place, if you could call it that, known to krogan. At his signal, his men leapt up from among the bones and graves of fallen krogan, and set upon my tribe and its allies like vengeful ghosts. We were routed almost instantly."

"But you survived, obviously." Shepard pointed out. "What did you do?"

"I fled. I ran away, knowing that it was the only way I could live to see another day." Wrex's face contorted into a look of pure, unadulterated hatred. "But not before I sank my dagger deep into my father's chest, and watched the light leave his eyes."

Both men were silent for a few minutes after that. Finally, Shepard spoke. "That can't have been easy, Wrex. I'm sorry."

Wrex laughed, a deep, mirthless sound that rumbled out from somewhere far down in his chest. "Why, Shepard? I lived, and he died. That is the way of the krogan."

"But it doesn't have to be." Shepard shook his head, disagreeing with Wrex. "I think you were on the right track, Wrex. Maybe if your people didn't seem like such a threat to the galaxy, the turians and salarians wouldn't be so keen on keeping the genophage in place. Maybe they could come up with a cure."

Wrex chortled. "Ha. I doubt it. The turians and salarians are scared of us. Always have been, and always will be. Krogan fight because it's in our blood. We can't escape it. And the rest of the galaxy will always fear us because of it."

"Well, I don't." Shepard stated, with a little more conviction than he felt. "I mean, just look at you, Wrex. I'm not paying you for this job, but you're here hunting down Saren anyway. I think if more people got to know the krogan, they'd understand that the genophage was wrong."

That drew a snort from Wrex. "I think you're dreaming, Shepard."

"Well, then I'll keep doing it. But if you ever need someone to stand by your side and fight for the krogan, you know where to find me."

Wrex pondered that for a moment. Finally, he nodded. "I'll keep that in mind, Shepard." Then he crossed his arms and leaned back against the wall, signaling the end of the conversation.

Smiling to himself, Shepard turned and walked down the short ramp towards engineering, trying to shove down the happy feelings that he got from the prospect of seeing Tali again.

As he passed through the doors into engineering, the giant Tantalus drive core grabbed his attention. _Hot damn. No matter how many times I come down here, the size of that thing just boggles my mind. I could sit here for hours and just watch that fucker spin. Especially if Tali was sitting next to me. Speak of the devil._ He saw Tali working at a terminal, and started to move over to her, only to be intercepted by Engineer Adams.

"Commander."

"What do you need, Adams?" Shepard said, fighting to keep the irritation out of his voice. _Damnit Adams, my body hurts and I'm tired as fuck and I have a lot of shit to do still. And I want to talk to Tali! Whatever you've got to say had better be real fuckin' quick._

"I wanted to talk to you about the quarian."

"Her name is Tali, Adams." _Motherfucker. I thought Adams was the levelheaded member of my crew. Pressly and Williams have filled up my quota of xenophobic pains in the ass for this voyage._ "You got a problem with her being here?" He practically growled.

"What?" Adams seemed momentarily taken aback. "No, nothing like that. I wanted to tell you how amazing it is to have her around here. She's brilliant! I wish half my people were half as smart as she is. Give her a month and she'll know more about our systems than I do."

_Ah. Well. I guess it's a good think I didn't actually read him the riot act._ "Glad to hear it. Is she fitting in well down here?"

"Well, sort of. Not everybody really feels comfortable interacting with her. Probably something to do with how they can't see her face. I've tried to help her along whenever I can."

"That's good." Shepard tried to fight down the sudden flare of jealousy Adam's words stirred up. "So you're sorta taking her under your wing?"

"Yeah, you could put it that way." Adams agreed. "Anyway, thanks for stopping and talking."

"No problem." Shepard answered, before making a beeline for the quarian engineer. "Hey Tali."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

"Hey Tali."

"Hello, Shepard." She turned away from the terminal she was working on and looked at him. _He looks tired. I'm surprised Doctor Chakwas let him leave the med-bay already._ "I'm a little surprised to see you up already. I expected Doctor Chakwas's treatment to keep you bed-ridden for a lot longer than this, to be honest."

"Well, you know how it is." Shepard shrugged her concern away. "But I don't want to talk about me, I can do that anytime. I came down here to talk about you."

"Well, uhm, thank you, Shepard." Tali felt herself get flustered. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Erm," _Shit. I shoulda come up with something before I got over here. Now I feel like an idiot. You sound like one, too, Spike. Say something, dumbass!_ "Well, I wanted to see if you were sleeping better? I know last time we talked, you were having trouble because it was so quiet down here."

"Oh, yes! I am, thank you very much. I've started to get used to it. Now I don't know how I'll sleep when I get back to the Flotilla."

"I'm sure you'll adapt, Tali. You're brilliant, so I bet there's nothing you can't do." _Eurgh. That sounded all kindsa stupid. Maybe I shoulda taken Chakwas's advice. Oh well, too late now._

Tali flushed deeply beneath her helmet. "Thank you, Shepard. It means a lot to hear you say that."

"I'm serious, Tali. Engineer Adams actually just stopped me to tell me that you've been a huge help to him." _And managed to almost get himself dropkicked into space by not being clear that he was complimenting you._

"That's very nice of him." Tali said, glancing over at the older man.

Shepard watched her turn towards Adams, and had to fight, once again, to suppress the irrational urge to go toss Adams headfirst into the drive core. _What the hell is wrong with me? He's my chief engineer, for Christ's sakes. Maybe I'm more tired than I thought, if I'm acting this possessive of something- someone, rather- that isn't even mine. Fuck._ "So, Tali," he said, trying to turn her attention back to himself, "tell me more about growing up on the flotilla."

"What do you want to know, Shepard?"

"Um. . ." He thought quickly, trying to come up with a valid question. "Do you have any brothers and sisters?"

"No. On the flotilla, each family is only allowed to have one child. Of course, if the population suddenly goes into a decline, that rule can be temporarily lifted. But the Conclave hasn't had to take such action in over a century."

"Huh. I never would have guessed that." He digested her answer for a bit longer. "Wait, what's the Conclave?"

"It's our governing body. Representatives are elected from each ship, and they work together to make decisions that affect the entire flotilla."

"So quarians are democratic? Did not know that."

"We are." She nodded her assent. "But we also have a body called the Admiralty Board. They oversee and direct any military issues that arise. Also, they have the power to overturn any decision made by the Conclave."

"See, now that doesn't seem very democratic."

"The Admiralty Board can only take such a drastic action once, and then all members have to resign their posts, and a new Board is selected."

"Alright, that makes more sense. Any other interesting tidbits about the Admiralty Board or the Conclave?"

"Not really." She shrugged, then thought of something he might want to know. "Although my father is one of the admirals on the Board."

"That's cool!" Shepard said, before he noticed that she didn't seem particularly happy about it. "Or, it's not cool?"

"I guess it is. It's just difficult, being the daughter of an admiral. Everyone expects so much from me. And if I don't come home with a good pilgrimage gift, it will reflect poorly on my father."

"He wouldn't like that, I assume?"

"No. He's always expected the very best from me, but he's always been a little, distant? Detached?" She shook her head. "I know he loves me, but we've never really talked much, and after my mother died, it got worse."

Shepard reached out and put his hand on her shoulder, then squeezed it once, gently. "I'm sorry to hear that, Tali. All of it. I know it's hard to lose a parent."

Tali just luxuriated in the warmth of his touch, her eyes closing slowly as she felt a wave of peace wash over her. Then she suddenly stood bolt upright and her eyes snapped open as his words sank in. "Oh, Keelah, Shepard, I meant to apologize! I was talking to Joker after you and I talked before the Luna mission and he told me about your family and why you had to grow up on Arcturus and that you were all alone and I'm so sorry! I should have tried to be more tactful or just not asked about it and please forgive me!"

"Whoa whoa whoa Tali, slow down." _She's so freaking adorable when she's all nervous and she rattles off a dozen words in like three seconds. And I bet she is the loveliest shade of- well, whatever color quarians get when they're nervous. Damn that stupid shield in front of her face, I want to see what she looks like!_ "Really, Tali, it's not that big of a deal. I'm used to people asking about my family, I was just totally exhausted and didn't want to go through all that right then." _Maybe if I put my hand on her arm, that will comfort her. Right, I should do that. Purely to comfort her. The fact that I'm having trouble keeping my hands to myself has nothing to do with wanting to touch her in comfort._ Shepard was unsuccessful in convincing himself of the purity of his motives, but he nevertheless reached out his left hand and lightly touched Tali's upper arm. _Damn this suit is soft. I know it has to be sturdy, what with the whole high-risk-of-death thing, but how do they make it feel so nice? Maybe it only feels nice because Tali feels nice?_ Without realizing what he was doing, he started to run his hand up and down her upper arm, roving from shoulder to elbow and back again.

Tali's heart went even faster at his touch than it had when she was trying to string together an apology. _My heart feels like it wants to beat its way out of my chest. And his hands feel so good stroking my arm like that. I wish we could just stand like this forever. Him rubbing my arm, then maybe I could reach out with my other hand and slide my fingers up his back, all the way up to his broad shoulders, and then I could squeeze his-_ Hearing her name from his lips pulled her back to reality. _Keelah, what was I thinking about? _ She thought in a panic.

"Um, Tali? Are you okay?" Shepard's voice was concerned, and he started to pull his hand away. "I'm not offending you or anything, am I?"

She quickly reached up to stop his hand from leaving her arm, but thought better of it at the last second. Anxious to cover her unexplained movement, she scurried to come up with an answer. "Uh, no, Shepard. It's fine. I was just, erm, thinking about the Migrant Fleet, and got a little bit lost in the memory. You weren't offending me, though. Not at all."

"Oh. Well, that's good." Then he remembered she had said something else. "And I'm not all alone, technically. I have a girlfriend who's also in the Alliance." _Shit. Why'd I say that? Does she really need to know I have a girlfriend? Fuck!_

"Well that's, um, good to know, Shepard." _Why didn't I think about that earlier? Of course he has a girlfriend, he's magnificent. At least she isn't on this ship where she could see me drooling over him. Wait, she isn't on this ship, is she? It's not Ashley, is it? That would be terrible!_ "Um, you said she's in the Alliance?" Tali waited until Shepard nodded, before she continued. "She isn't, uh, on this ship, is she?"

"What? No, of course not." Shepard had to bite down on his instinct to laugh. "The Alliance doesn't permit relationships within the same unit or on the same ship. They'll occasionally make an exception for a married couple, but that situation's really rare. She's stationed on Arcturus right now, working on becoming a fully-qualified engineer."

"Well, that's nice." Tali lied. _But thank goodness it isn't Ashley. She scares me sometimes. I wonder if he likes his girlfriend because she's an engineer. If that's the case, maybe I have a chance?_ She quickly dispelled that notion. _No I don't. They would have to split up for that to be possible, and that can't happen. She would have to be insane to leave him, and he probably doesn't want to be alone again. Also, I'm a quarian. So no human would be caught dead with a quarian. To say nothing of how one of us would likely die, just from a single unprotected kiss._ She sighed.

Shepard noticed that her mood seemed to have taken a turn for the worse. _Uh, what now? Do I try to cheer her up? Do I just leave? Do I wrap her up in a gigantic hug, give her ass a little squeeze, and tell her she can be my honey on the Normandy? What the fuck was that last one all about? Christ, Spike, go get some fucking rest before you do something you'll regret._ Deciding to take his own advice, he made to leave. "Right, well, then, it was good talking to you, Tali. I'm sure I'll talk to you again soon. I should go upstairs and check on the rest of the crew before getting everything ready to dock with the Citadel."

"Okay, Shepard." She smiled wistfully as she watched him turn and walk away. _He's got so much muscle! Even if I can never be with him, at least I get to see him every day. His "girlfriend" doesn't get to do that. Mmm. I could watch him walk away all day long. Well, actually, I'd like to see him walking towards me, too, but the view is just as good this way. He looks very tired, though. Maybe I'll ask Doctor Chakwas if he was really ready to leave the med-bay. No, then I'll look like I'm trying to be nosy or controlling, and I don't want anyone to think that. I guess I'll just keep watching him._ "Come back anytime, Commander." She murmured as he finally disappeared from view.

Shepard turned the corner and stepped into the elevator, hitting the button to begin its long, torturous ascent. _Alright, so I should talk to Kaidan and Liara, then I can try to find a gun range I can commandeer on the Citadel. Damnit, seeing Liara means passing through Chakwas's lair. I'm sure she's got that look of doom all queued up, just waiting for me. Fuck! It wouldn't be right to talk to everybody but Liara, so I'm just gonna have to man up and deal with it. Maybe I'll just do that first, then talk to Kaidan, then go hide in my cabin. Yeah, I'll do that. Just don't make eye contact with the Doc, Spike, and you'll make it through unscathed. Mostly. Finally! This fucking elevator will be the death of me someday._

Shepard exited the elevator and turned left to head for the med-bay. _Think positive thoughts, stare straight ahead, and don't let her see weakness. Or smell it. Or taste it. Although that would be really fucking weird. Yeah, above all, don't let Chakwas lick you? How in the hell did I go from wanting to talk to Liara to worrying about Chakwas licking me? Jesus, I'm fucked up. I really need to get some sleep._ Shepard stalked through the doors into the med-bay, and strolled right past the evil glare from Doctor Chakwas.

"Hello, Liara!" He said with forced cheerfulness.

"Commander!" Liara stood up from her chair with such force that it almost fell. Shepard quickly stepped forward to catch it and just managed to keep it upright. "I'm sorry, Commander. You startled me!"

"Sorry about that, Liara. And please, call me Shepard."

"Very well, Shepard. Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?"

"I was hoping to pick up where we left off last night. If I remember correctly, we were talking about the sorry state of my armor?"

"Yes, we were."

"Right-o. So while we were trying to fight our way to you, the geth massed up right outside the entrance to your ruins. Long story short, we had to fight off about a dozen of the bastards, and their pet Colossus."

"A Colossus, Commander? I'm afraid I'm not familiar with the term."

"It's what we've started calling the really big ones. You know the Mako, down in the hold?" She nodded. "Well, a Colossus is about the same width, probably three-quarters as long, and twice as tall. Fires a great big blue ball of death referred to as a siege pulse. One of those hits you, and you're done. As in, dead." He explained, seeing her questioning look. "Oh! And I almost forgot: they're also equipped with some sort of high-powered machine gun. Normally we blow them up with the Mako, but we had to fight the one on Therum on foot. This in turn led to my armor taking one helluva beating. But we got to you in time, which is really all that matters."

"Oh my." The asari seemed shocked. "I'm very glad you rescued me, Commander. Although, it is too bad that the Prothean ruins were destroyed. There was so much to be learned."

"Ugh. You sound just like the Council." Shepard pitched his voice up. "Well Commander, we're of course glad that you saved Miss T'Soni, but why'd you break the Prothean toys? Don't you realize how valuable those were?" He brought his voice back to its normal timbre. "Blah blah blah. I told Joker to cut the feed right about then, because I was tired and I hurt all over from that damn Colossus."

"You hung up on the Council?!" Liara was shocked. _I have never even heard of someone doing something so disrespectful to the leaders of our galactic civilization. They must think the Commander is very valuable, to allow such blatant disregard for common etiquette. It is, interesting, though. What kind of man feels comfortable enough to ignore the most powerful beings in the galaxy?_ "I must admit, Commander-"

"Shepard."

"Yes, of course. As I was saying, Shepard, despite your rather, brusque, mannerisms, I find you very intriguing."

"Oh yeah?" Shepard smiled at her. "Is it me you find 'intriguing,' or the Prothean visions I've got dancing around in my head?"

"Both, Shepard?" She sounded unsure. "I merely got a glimpse of the visions, but it nearly overwhelmed me. I wonder what kind of mind can stand up to such a powerful onslaught?"

"It sounds like you want to dissect me in a lab somewhere." He chuckled.

"No! Of course not!" Liara said, flustered. "I only meant that you would be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study. Wait, that sounds even worse." She buried her head in her hands while Shepard just stood there and laughed quietly, trying not to jar his chest too much.

"It's okay, Liara. I was just joking."

"A joke? Oh, by the Goddess, I'm making such a spectacle of myself. This is why I prefer isolated dig sites."

"You'll get the hang of it, don't worry. Maybe you just need more practice with being around people."

"Perhaps you are right." She agreed, although her tone of voice indicated her skepticism.

_Alright, I've been yakking with her long enough. I oughta get going so I can get a little rest at some point before we hit the Citadel._ "Well, it was good talking to you Liara, but I've gotta get going. We'll talk more later, alright?"

"I'd like that, Shepard." She smiled at him, and got a smile in return before he turned and marched out of her room.

He once again walked straight past Doctor Chakwas, feeling her burning glare on his back the whole way. _Maybe I should poke fun at her a little, ask her if she can give me a little something for the pain. Nah, she'd probably drug the crap out of me and lock me in the med-bay, strapped to a bed. Better to just avoid pissing off the already-angry doctor._ He walked out of the med-bay, and headed for where Kaidan stood working. "Hey, Kaidan. Busy?"


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Hey Kaidan. Busy?"

"Not particularly, Commander. What do you need?"

"I just wanted to chat, really. See how you were feeling, see if you had any questions or comments about the past few missions. Anything on your mind?"

"Not really, sir. I have to give you a lot of credit for taking down a Colossus on foot. Not many people could have done that."

"Thanks, Kaidan. And lose the 'Commander' and 'sir' crap. We're all friends here."

"Yes sir. I mean, uh, yes, man?"

Shepard grinned at Kaidan's attempt at being casual. "How about you just stick with 'Shepard?' Rolls off the tongue with flair, if I do say so myself."

"That sounds like a plan, Shepard." Kaidan smiled back.

"How're the migraines?" Shepard changed the topic.

"They're alright, for now."

"So what's the deal with the L2s, anyway? I know they can cause complications, but nobody's ever really explained it to me."

"To be honest, I don't really understand all of it myself. I just know that getting migraines is a blessing when it comes to the complications faced by a lot of us with L2s. Death, blindness, and insanity are some of the alternatives."

"Ouch." Shepard grimaced. _Now for some reason, I feel like Kaidan's trying to be nice to me. He's probably worried about using big scary words and highly advanced concepts that my poor little brain wouldn't be able to understand. Normally, I'd be pissed off about that. Right now though, I don't particularly give a shit._ "So they didn't explain the amps to you when you got them?"

"No." Kaidan shook his head. "I was brought up at BAaT Camp. They didn't really care too much about us understanding what was going on. They just wanted us to learn how to use our biotics as fast as possible."

"BAaT?"

"Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training. Conatix Industries ran the program during the '60s. Humanity was just starting to understand the effects of eezo exposure at the time, so they brought in some turians to help train young biotics."

"Really? Turians?" Shepard shook his head. "I can't believe they'd pull a stunt like that right after the war. How'd they manage to sell that shit sandwich of a deal?"

"They didn't, Commander. Everything was kept under the radar as much as possible. As a result, they had to find turians that wouldn't be missed. Unfortunately, most of the turians they were able to find that fit that billing had no love for humans. Life for us kids was . . . difficult, as a result."

"Whatcha mean?"

"Our turian instructors enjoyed making the atmosphere at camp as unpleasant as was possible. There was this one, Commander Vyrnnus, who was a real piece of work. The first time we met him, he stood up in front of us and said 'I was at the helm of the dreadnought that killed your father.' He seemed inordinately proud of that fact. I was a bit of a smartass when I was younger, so I made some kind of snarky comment. Vyrnnus absolutely had it in for me from then on, and did his level best to make my life a living hell whenever he could."

Shepard's insides roiled with rage at the thought of a turian taking credit for killing his father. _I would have skewered the motherfucker right then and there. Fuck being a smartass; I woulda slit his goddamn throat just to watch him die, slowly. Oh hell, just thinking about fighting is making me tired. I need to get some rest pronto. Props to Kaidan for not doing kicking the shit outta his turian teacher, though._ "I admire your restraint, Kaidan. I'm not sure I would've been able to sit there after hearing something like that."

Kaidan grimaced. "Well, it was different for me. No one in my family was even in the military during the First Contact War. If I had lost both of my parents to the turians, I probably would have done more than just talk."

"Thank god for small favors, eh Kaidan? Listen, I want to talk more about this, especially the BAaT stuff, but I gotta go get some rack time or I'm gonna pass out right on your table here. And I weigh a lot, so you'd probably have to just stop working until I came to."

"I think I'd be alright, Comm- Shepard." Kaidan grinned. "I'd just hit you with a biotic throw, and you'd be napping over there by the lockers in no time."

"Ah, don't even talk like that." Shepard clutched his ribs theatrically. "My body aches just thinking about being tossed around like a ragdoll. We'll talk more next time, Kaidan."

"Aye aye Shepard."

The Commander turned and walked into his cabin, before collapsing on his bed. He tried, unsuccessfully, to soothe the pain that was rippling through his chest in waves of utter agony. _Fuck this shit hurts. I think I hurt more now than I did before Chakwas got her hands on me. Maybe I can go ask her for a little something for the pain? Nah, she'll probably tell me it's my own damn fault. Which it is, not that I'm gonna tell her that. While I can't see her refusing to give me something, I'm sure whatever meds I get will come at a high price of guilt and dirty looks. I don't think I'm in quite enough pain to trade for that. Yet. Guess I'll just have to tough it out. Now to find a Captain of a Ward on the Citadel to bully into giving me their range for a day._

Shepard got up from his bed and moved to his desk, activating the terminal. Immediately he saw that there were several messages waiting for him. _Aw crap, I haven't checked my mail in, what, days? A week, at most. I really suck at being a responsible adult. I wonder what the hell is in there, anyway._ Going to his mailbox, he saw that there were two messages from Beth, and one message from the Alliance.

With a heavy sigh, he sat down to read the messages. _These had better be "Thanks for being so amazing" and "I just wanted to tell you how amazing you are" messages from Beth, and a "Here's a raise, champ" message from the Alliance, or I'm gonna break something._ He opened the earliest message from Beth.

"Spike,

That sounds fine. Thank you for being so understanding.

Beth"

_Alright, not bad. I'm glad she's using my first name again. That "Shepard" bullshit was starting to piss me off._ He opened the other message from Beth.

"Spike,

I know you said you'd probably find yourself on the Citadel, but I haven't heard from you in a few days, so I wanted to see if you knew when you'd be getting back there.

Bye."

_That one's a little more annoying. For Christ's sake, woman, it's been less than a week since I messaged you. I'm hunting down a fucking rogue Spectre! Be patient, damn it! I gotta admit her timing's fucking spot on though, since we're heading back to the Citadel right now. Fucking coincidences, right?_ He took a few minutes to type out a quick response.

"Beth,

Your timing is pretty good. I'm gonna be on the Citadel for a few days. How about we have our little 'talk' as soon as I can find some time? I'll message you to set it up once I've squared away my schedule.

Spike"

Finally, he got to the message from the Alliance.

"Commander Shepard,

Your current assignment covers a great deal of the Terminus systems. Alliance High Command asks that you notify the Alliance of the location of any mineral or resource deposits that you encounter during your mission. Please be advised that a small 'finder's fee' will be allocated to you for each substantive discovery.

Thank you.

Systems Alliance HQ"

_Cool. Find them shit, and get paid to do it. I like that. Props, Alliance, for giving me an easy job for once. Still have a long way to go to get back to even, though. But if you keep pumping credits my way, I'm sure we'll be square in no time._

Shepard finally pulled up a list of the C-Sec Captains responsible for the different wards. _Christ almighty. About bloody time, too. I finished talking to Kaidan like an hour ago and I'm just now getting to it. God damn stupid shit. Hmm. If I had to wager a guess, based on the names I'd say the Wards were under the control of one asari, two turians, and two salarians. I wonder why I haven't seen more asari in C-Sec, now that I come to think of it. Probably because they're too fucking smart to waste their time with a bunch of bureaucratic bullshit when they could be out making money as mercs or strippers. They've got the right idea, if Garrus's opinion of C-Sec is reliable. Which I think it is, since he's the best damn turian I've ever met. Although that's not saying much by itself, Garrus is fucking heads and shoulders above every other motherfucking turian, which should count for something. I don't really want to deal with any other turians today, and asari are too hard to read. Salarian it is, then. I think I'll go with the one in Bachjret Ward, since that's a cooler name than Kithoi._

Shepard clicked on the necessary commands to link him into the C-Sec comms network, and then used his Spectre authorization to call the salarian directly. After a few minutes of truly terrible waiting music, the other end was finally picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this Captain Raerileis of the Bachjret Ward?"

"Yes. Who is this?" The salarian on the other end sounded slightly irritated.

_Ha. He's probably feeling a bit shirty with me 'cause I called him directly. No secretary to tell me he's "busy" or "indisposed" or some other bureaucratic nonsense for "taking a nap."_ "This is Comm- Spectre Shepard. How are you doing today?"

"Ah. Hello, Spectre. My day is proceeding well, and yours?"

"Meh. Could be worse, could be better." Shepard paused for a beat, to give himself time to frame his request. _Fuck. Really shoulda thought this shit out beforehand, Spike. You fucking moron._ "Well. Captain Raerileis, as you may know I'm putting together a team that is tasked with taking down a rogue Spectre."

"Yes, Spectre, I had heard something like that through the gossip network."

"Right. Water cooler talk, I get it. Well, as of now, you can consider those rumors confirmed, but for your ears only. If I start hearing that a fancy salarian Captain started dishing about Spectre activities, I'll be coming down hard on you, if you get my drift."

"I understand perfectly, Spectre." To the salarian's credit, and Shepard's surprise, he didn't seem cowed by talking to a Spectre.

_Good for him. About time a member of his species grew a fucking backbone. That genophage shit was such a little bitch move. "Oh no, the big bad krogan are coming! Quick, make them all impotent!" Fight 'em with bullets and bombs and knives, like real men. Is it any wonder the krogans are a buncha pissed-off giant dinosaurs nowadays? Some little lizard people basically gave them all the worst fucking case of limp dick in the universe. I'd be looking to pay those bitches back in lead too. Oh shit, I'm still talking to that Captain guy. Focus, Spike!_ "Anyway, I didn't call to threaten you. I have a request that I need to make of C-Sec, and from the people I've talked to, you seem to be the most level-headed C-Sec Captain around." _That's a bit of an overstatement (alright, I pulled it outta my ass), but a little flattery never hurt anyone, right?_

"I thank you for your compliment, Commander. What do you require of C-Sec?"

"My team and I need a place to practice where we're not gonna hit anything important on accident, and where we don't have to worry about the geth attacking us. A gun range is the perfect place for that, and I know that each Ward has one for its C-Sec personnel to use. Now, I'm not asking for the range for a month, or a week, or even a full day. We just need about a half a day, where we can go in there and work without getting interrupted, along with range passes for my crew. Whattaya say?"

"Well . . ." The salarian was quiet for a brief moment before he continued. "I'm not sure I can do that, Spectre. I have men who need training and the only way they can get that is on the range."

"Yeah, but my people need training too. And I have the utmost respect for C-Sec-" Ha_. What a laugh. They're a bunch of useless fucktards._ "-but I have to believe that my team needs to be at their peak way more than your C-Sec agents. I mean no offense, but I can guarantee Saren and his geth are gonna be way more of a bitch to take down than anything C-Sec will ever run into."

The salarian was quiet for a long while. Finally, he spoke. "I can see your point, Spectre. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. I'll block off the range for as long as you need, and I'll make sure your team can access it whenever they need, on one condition."

"Which is . . .?"

"Make sure that you stop Saren." Shepard could hear the smile in the salarian's voice.

"You got it, Captain." Shepard smiled to himself. _I'm starting to like this little guy. Maybe after all this shit's over with, I can buy him a beer. Or whatever the cool salarians are drinking nowadays._

"When do you need the range, Spectre?"

"Let me get an update from my pilot." Shepard put the call on hold. "Joker! I need an ETA to the Citadel right the hell now."

"Three hours, 12 minutes, Commander." The pilot's voice came over the intercom.

"Thanks." Switching back to the call, Shepard did some quick math in his head. "Captain?"

"Yes Spectre?"

"Can I get the range in four and a half hours, Captain? And just have it for the rest of the day?"

"Yes, Spectre. I'll leave word with the guard at the range to make sure that you and your team are let in without a problem. If a problem does arise, I am well acquainted with the 'Spectre problem-solving strategy.' Please don't hurt any of my agents, just call me."

Shepard chuckled to himself. "Sure thing, Captain. And I'll tell my team to leave your C-Sec people alone." He thought for a minute, then added "And when I put a bullet in Saren's brain, remember that you played an important role." _That oughta keep him in a cheery mood if I need anything else from him. Hot damn did I make the right choice in picking out who to call._

"I will, Spectre. And thank you."

"Thank you, Captain."

Shepard typed the necessary commands into his omni-tool to wake him in an hour and fifteen minutes, and then closed his eyes for a brief respite from the troubles of command.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

Shepard walked up behind Joker and waited for the helmsman to look up at him. Finally, his patience was rewarded. "Hey Commander."

"Hey right back, Joker."

"Whatcha need?"

"Ship wide intercom, if you don't mind."

"Well, I guess I'm not toooo busy to do that." The two men shared a smile, and then Joker reached forward and tapped a section of his control panel. "You're on, Commander."

"Attention crew. This is Shepard. As you have no doubt heard from our peerless helmsman, we'll be arriving at the Citadel in a few hours. Once we dock, you'll have three days of shore leave. Before you leave the ship, make sure to check in with Navigator Pressly. He can tell you when you have to work over the next three days. The rest of the time is yours." Shepard took a deep breath before continuing, and when he spoke again his voice was harsher and carried a note of warning.

"Keep in mind, however, that if you get into trouble, I won't be coming to help you. You won't get any bail money from me, or a good word with C-Sec. I'll tell them to keep you there as long as they want. And you will no longer be welcome on my ship should you find yourself no longer a ward of the state. So have fun, but don't fuck up. Or this'll be the last shore leave you all ever see. Ground team; meet me in the CIC when we dock. We have some business to take care of, so I need you to be in full gear. Shepard out." He made a slashing motion across his throat to Joker, who reached over and deactivated the intercom.

"Sheesh Commander, hard-ass much?" Joker asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, actually. It's my preferred method of dealing with people." Shepard responded with a smirk of his own. "Especially irreverent helmsmen."

"Ya know, I think I know some women who would disagree with you that you're a hard-ass. Hard something, maybe, but . . ."

"What was that, Joker? I didn't quite catch what you said. Before you repeat it, though, you should make sure you know what it means to be keelhauled. Then ask yourself if you'd rather do that, or have three days of shore leave. Then tell me what you were saying before."

"I don't know what that is, Commander, but I've decided I don't want it. Anything that makes you happy makes other people sad. Or dead." Joker grimaced. "Therefore, earlier, I was just asking what you wanted me to do while we're docked."

"That's what I thought you said, Moreau." Shepard said with a wink. "You're one of the lucky ones this time around. Just make sure the hull gets a careful inspection to make sure the crazies on Feros didn't hurt anything, and go over the reports from the last few days. If the Normandy's running well, you're free for the next three days. If she's not everything she's supposed to be and more, I want to know about it immediately."

"I think I love you, Shepard." Joker replied with a false catch in his throat.

"I love you too, Joker." Shepard replied while rolling his eyes. "I'll see you later."

* * *

Once they docked at the Citadel, Shepard waited at the galaxy map for the rest of his team. Garrus, Tali, and Wrex arrived together, then Liara showed up, and finally Ashley and Kaidan made their appearance.

"Alright everybody, here's what we're doing." Shepard began. "I 'procured' several hours of uninterrupted time at one of the C-Sec gun ranges. That's why I wanted you all to be fully kitted up, because I want to know what you all can do with your weapons. I know some of you have biotics, and I've seen those in the field. I'm really more concerned with weapon proficiency. So make sure you have something to read, watch, or listen to on your omni-tools, because I'm going to be bringing you in one at a time. Also, I will be ranking you, with each weapon, from best to worst. I also may or may not tell make the rankings known publicly. I therefore advise you to do your best. Any questions?" Nobody spoke or moved, so he decided they were all ready. "Alright gang, let's move out. I'll meet you there in an hour."

Tali and Garrus stayed behind. "Um, Shepard?" Tali asked nervously.

"Yeah Tali?" He responded as they all started walking towards the airlock.

"When you said you were going to meet us at the range in an hour, were you implying that you were going to wander the Citadel, alone, until then?"

"Of course not." Shepard smiled as Tali released a little sigh of relief. "I have several things that I need to get done before I meet you guys at the range. So I will in fact be traversing the Citadel in a very direct and purposeful manner." Looking down at her, Shepard thought he could just make out a frown, and he heard Garrus stifle a chortle.

"That wasn't what I meant, Shepard." She said crossly, while glaring daggers at Garrus. "I don't think you should be on your own right now, since you're still recovering from the fight on Therum."

"Well Tali, I think being an N7 oughta get me at least a little respect, especially on my own ship. I don't think I like being told I can't go shopping without an armed escort because I'm too weak and frail."

"That wasn't what I meant!" Tali exclaimed. "And what are you doing, Garrus?" She turned her anger on the turian.

"Nothing much, Tali." His mandibles fluttered in amusement, before he turned to Shepard and they stilled. "But I agree with her, Commander. Safety in numbers."

Shepard shot Garrus a withering stare. "Et tu, Brutus?"

"I don't know who that is, but I'm C-Sec, remember? I know how shady the Citadel can get. Trust me on that. And you don't even have armor." Garrus pointed out, trying to appeal to Shepard's logical, soldierly side.

"Fine." Shepard gave in. "You two can follow me around like little lost puppies if you want. But I'd be alright on my own, just so you know."

"We know, Shepard." Garrus said in a patronizing tone.

Scowling, Shepard hailed a cab to take them to the Financial District.

* * *

Getting out of the cab, Shepard made a beeline for the office of Barla Von. Reaching the door, he stopped and turned towards the other two. "You two wait out here. Make sure we're not interrupted. And don't give me any looks." He cut off whatever they were about to say with a raised hand. "It's one freaking volus. If he could take me down, I'd resign from the Alliance and the Spectres right now. Stay. Here." And without another word, he turned and strode into the volus's office.

"I think you made the Commander angry." Garrus said in a mocking voice.

"Shut up." Tali said crossly. _It's bad enough that I made Shepard think I question his ability to lead us safely by criticizing his ability to keep even himself safe. I don't need Garrus's jibes on top of that._

"Maybe you could tell him you're sorry?" Garrus's voice was still distressingly sarcastic.

"Shut up, Garrus." _If that stupid turian bosh'tet doesn't shut up, I'm going to wipe that stupid smirk off his stupid face._

"Actually, while you're at it, maybe you could apologize on behalf of your race to him for letting the geth break free and endanger the galaxy." The turian's tone had turned from jest to condemnation. "Actually, you may as well make that apology galaxy-wide."

"SHUT UP, GARRUS!" Tali finally exploded, turning to look at him while she yelled. A part of her noted that unfortunately, he no longer had a snide smile in place for her to wipe off, but that only made her angrier. "You have no idea what the geth did to my people! And if my people are apologizing for the geth, why don't your people apologize for releasing the genophage upon the krogan?!"

"That's assuming that sterilizing the krogan was a mistake. Which it wasn't."

Garrus's ability to keep calm in the face of her anger fueled the fire burning within her. "Then why don't you try telling that to Wrex, Garrus? And at least the geth haven't brought any species to the brink of extinction!"

"Except their creators."

"Why you-"

"That's enough, Tali." Shepard's sudden reappearance took them both by surprise. "You're making a scene." _Even if she is making some of the same arguments to Garrus that I made to Wrex earlier today, there's a time and a place for everything; and this is neither._

Sure enough, when she looked around at the financial district she noticed several groups of people had stopped talking, shopping, and even moving, in order to watch her shout. As they began resuming their former activities, Tali flushed with embarrassment beneath her helmet. _Now I've made a fool of myself in front of Shepard! I hate you sometimes, Garrus!_ She continued to berate herself, Garrus, and even Shepard for his untimely arrival, while Shepard turned his attention to the turian.

"And you, Garrus. You didn't need to provoke her like that. You knew she was in a bad mood, but you gave her the mickey anyway. If we're gonna work together as a team, I can't have you two at each other's throats every time I walk away."

"What do you mean; she was in a bad mood?" Garrus seemed surprised to hear about Tali's mood. "How can you tell?"

_Shit. Can I really tell how she's feeling, when even another dextro can't? That's gotta mean I'm paying way too much attention to her, right? I shouldn't be doing that. And what do I tell Garrus? "Well, I'm not surprised, since I can't take my eyes off her and you seem to be a completely normal, non-stalkerish individual." Maybe a little white lie, then._ "I guess I'm just better at reading people and their body language. Probably because I'm trained as an infiltrator, so I need to be able to tell how anxious someone is, or how close of attention they're paying to me."

_Hmm. I suppose that makes sense, but I've been a C-Sec Detective for four years, and I'm quite good at reading body language. I had no idea she was in a bad mood. Between my C-Sec training and experience, as well as the extra training Father gave me, I should be better than a human naval officer at reading people. Is that a deficiency on my part, or is Shepard just that much better than I am? Maybe he received additional training while earning his N7 designation? I will pursue this later, once I have some free time. For now, I have another question._

"No offense, Commander, but how did you hear us? Specifically, me?" Garrus asked, without realizing how much he sounded like a child caught instigating a fight.

"I may not have armor on, but technology has created these wonderful comm units that can be placed in one ear, and allow me to have access to our radio channels."

"Oh." Garrus looked chagrined. "I, um, forgot, Commander. I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

Tali finally re-emerged from her thoughts and caught the end of Garrus's apology. "I'm sorry, too, Shepard."

"While I appreciate your apologies, I'm not really the person who needs them." He cleared his throat heavily and looked pointedly between the two people in front of him.

_Does he really expect me to apologize? I didn't do anything wrong! Garrus was being mean to me! He started it! Ugh!_ Tali suddenly felt angry with herself, rather than Garrus. _And now I sound like a child! I can't say something like that to Shepard! I suppose I do have to apologize to that big dumb annoying turian._ "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Garrus." She said without looking at either of the men standing next to her.

"And I shouldn't have tried to push your buttons, Tali. I'm sorry."

"Good. Now that you two have made up, I need to do some shopping." He headed towards a hanar shopkeeper he had talked to the last time he was on the Citadel.

Following along behind, Garrus plucked up a bit more courage to ask yet another question. "If I may, Commander, you seem to be in a fairly good mood, considering you were just forced to reprimand us."

"It wasn't a reprimand, Garrus." Shepard sighed. "Christ, I'm not a turian commander. I just didn't want you two making fools out of yourselves in public. I did it for your sakes, not mine."

"I understand, Commander. Nevertheless, you are practically bouncing. Why?"

"Well, I had a chat with my financial advisor, and he told me that I finally have some money to spend. Just in time, too, since I need some new armor."

"Good for you, Shepard." Tali spoke up.

"Do you know what you're going to get yet?" Garrus asked.

"Not sure." Shepard replied, before coming to a stop in front of the floating hanar. "Hello again, er, Dijon?"

"This one's face name is Delan." The hanar said. "It is good to see you again, Commander Shepard. Would you like to see this one's products?"

_Son of a bitch. Way to insult the merchant you're about to buy shit from, Spike. You're such a moron sometimes, you know that? Hopefully he won't take it out on me with his prices._

"What do you have as far as light human armor, Delan?"

"Oh, you will be pleased." The hanar opened up a holographic interface next to him with six different armor sets displayed in miniature.

Shepard scanned through the listing with a practiced eye. He activated his omni-tool and started interacting with the display. He quickly reorganized the list by price, and then closed the visualizations of the three most expensive sets. Looking at what was left, he quickly made a decision. "I'll take a set of Devlon's Explorer VI Armor, please, Delan."

"Certainly, Commander Shepard. Please remain motionless while your outer dimensions are catalogued." Shepard didn't move while a blue light reached out from Delan's console and scanned his body. "Thank you, Commander. Can this one interest you in changing the color on your new purchase? The cost is nominal at only 10 additional credits."

Shepard rolled his eyes. "What color's it come in, Delan?"

"This one is gladdened by your consideration of our offer. The standard armor is white, Commander."

"Thanks, but I'll be alright with white armor, Delan. The geth might think I'm one of theirs long enough to give me an edge in a firefight."

"This one is sad to hear of your decision; however, your words ring with truth. May the Enkindlers guide and watch over you, Commander."

"Thanks, Delan. Ehm, you too. When can I pick up the new armor?"

"If the Commander would be able to wait approximately two and one-half standard minutes, this one is glad to be able to say that the Commander could leave our store with your new armor."

"Sure thing, Delan." Shepard activated his omni-tool and sent a direct fund transfer to the hanar. "There's the money. Thanks for the armor."

"This one thanks the Commander for his choice in selecting our store for your purchases."

Shepard, Garrus, and Tali stepped away from the storefront to give Delan a chance to attract some other consumers. They each passed the two minutes in their own way. Shepard activated a holo of the Citadel and appeared to be looking for the best route to get to his commandeered gun range. In reality, however, he was looking through the hologram, and was watching Tali.

_She really is very pretty in profile. That suit clings so closely to her body, and she just looks so graceful, even though all she's doing is standing there. I wonder what she looks like without the suit. Is her skin smooth, like ours, or rough like a turian's? Do quarians have hair? I wonder what it would feel like to run my hand up her bare back, and tangle my fingers in her hair, before pulling her face to mine._ Suddenly realizing that his thoughts had gone down a patently unprofessional and troublesome path, he pulled his mind out of the gutter and back to reality. _I have a girlfriend! I think, probably. For now. But even if I didn't, it's a moot point anyway, because she's still a child according to her people. And that's just creepy_. His mind was expending so much effort trying to convince itself that looking at Tali's beautiful body was wrong, it failed to address the fact that his eyes were once again locked onto her lithe form.

Tali, although she appeared to be looking out into the crowded financial district, had her eyes locked securely on the person to her right. Positively straining her ocular muscles to keep as much of him in her field of view as possible while keeping her head facing forward, she observed him surreptitiously. _It's so nice to be able to see him without his armor and without him knowing I'm looking. Usually when we're together on the ship, he's talking directly to me, so I have to keep my attention focused on what he's saying (and making sure that he can't see me eyeing him up and down like a wonderful piece of turian chocolate). But right now, mmmm. I can just devote my entire being to looking at his strong, broad shoulders and his large, manly hands and his tight, flat buttocks and his bulging arms and that adorable stubble he's growing and – oh my, is it getting hot in here, or is it just me?_

She took a deep breath, trying to control her racing pulse to little effect. _I desperately want to go over there and run my hands over his taut chest, and reach around behind him to his butt and – oh Keelah, I need to stop. I can't keep thinking of him like this. He's my Captain while I'm on his ship! And nothing could ever happen anyway, because I'm stuck in this suit, and he's a human, and I'm a quarian._

While Tali and Shepard were silently agonizing over one another, Garrus had seized on the opportunity to do some of his research into the Alliance's N7 program. _I didn't know that its real name was the Interplanetary Combatives Training program. Or that its students could pick what training they wanted to receive. I had assumed it would be similar to the early Spectre candidacy training for turians. Stupid mistake. Of course the humans do things differently. I wonder what ICT courses Shepard selected?_ Garrus tried to access Shepard's service file, but found out quickly that the Alliance's encryption was too difficult for him to crack.

_Apparently I won't be able to find out that way. I suppose he could be better at reading body language than I am, if he took some sort of advanced course. However, it is impressive that the Alliance's training includes how to read the body language of other species. I can't think of any other reason why Shepard would be able to know how Tali feels._ Thinking on it for another few seconds, the real reason never occurred to Garrus, and he went back to researching the ICT program.

After Delan's stated two and a half minutes, a human arrived pushing a small hover cart with a large case on the top. Popping the top off, Shepard looked inside and was pleased to see his new armor. Motioning for the deliveryman to wait, Shepard began pulling off his casuals. Garrus looked on curiously, while Tali let out a small "Eep!" that no one heard and looked away, before looking quickly back.

_Oh, by the ancestors!_ Shepard's shirt came off, followed quickly by a thin yet sturdy flak vest. This gave Tali the opportunity to drink in the sight of ribbed ridges of muscle standing out underneath Shepard's tight-fitted under-armor bodysuit. _That is the most glorious sight I've ever seen. I remember how tight his muscles felt when he made me touch his waist the other day, but seeing them is something altogether different._ Without noticing, she started lightly petting her own stomach while ogling her commander. And when he bent over to slide his pants off, revealing the matte black bodysuit clinging to his finely sculpted ass like a second skin, she very nearly lost control of herself. _Keelah! I need to touch that- Wait! What am I __**thinking**__? I can't go over there and just grab his butt! What would he think? What would Garrus think? What would Shepard say?! I'd be mortified. Of course, I'd also have touched what has to be one of the most glorious things in the galaxy, but at what cost? No, no, no. I must behave. Maybe tonight, before I go to sleep, I can think about how I just saw every little bit of his perfect, gorgeous body and dream about what it would feel like to touch it, but for right now, I need to focus on appearing calm._

Luckily for Tali, by this time Shepard had already put on all of his armor except for his helmet and gauntlets. While she watched, he slid on the gauntlets and tried on the helmet before pulling it off and attaching it to a hard point on his hip. Then he leaned back into the crate where he had dropped the flak vest and his clothing, and emerged with two wide lengths of matte black metal. These were quickly buckled around his existing armor, giving his forearms an extra inch of protection all the way around. _I wonder what those are?_ Tali thought to herself as she watched Shepard close up the armor case. _Perhaps he needs extra armor around his forearms? Or maybe they hold additional medi-gel supplies? I'll ask him next time he comes to visit me in engineering. If they're something useful, maybe I'll look into finding or making a pair._

"Thanks, Delan." Shepard said, going up to the now customer-less hanar. "It's great."

"This one is pleased to have been of assistance to you, Commander Shepard."

Shepard then turned to the deliveryman. "Can you deliver that to the Normandy?"

"Yeah."

"Thanks, man." Shepard said, activating his omni-tool and flicking it towards the deliveryman. "There's the docking information, and a little something extra for your time."

"Thanks." The deliveryman said before he headed off with the hovercraft.

Turning back to his team, Shepard pointed off towards a fast transit station. "Alright you two, clear out."

Exclamations of "What, Commander?" and "Shepard?" were Garrus's and Tali's responses, respectively.

"I've got some business to attend to, and I don't need you two to escort me around anymore." He pointed to his chest. "See? All armored up."

"But Commander-"

Shepard ended whatever argument Garrus had been about to present. "I went along with both of you earlier, because you made sense. But I'm now in brand new armor, and no longer in any danger. So I thank you both for your concern, but I'm giving you an order. Meet me at the gun range with the rest of the crew."

Shaking his head, Garrus turned to walk away. Before Tali could do the same, Shepard reached out and grabbed her upper arm. "Tali, I wanted to say something."

Tali's heart jumped when she felt his touch, but then plummeted at his words. _Oh no! He must have noticed me staring at him! What do I say?!_ As she felt the flush completely overtake her face, she forced herself to listen to his words.

"I wanted to say that I'm really glad you cared enough to want to come with me on the station. I'm sorry I'm sending you away now, but I don't want you to be mad again. Trust me when I say if I didn't feel completely fine, I'd be bringing you and Garrus along. You believe me, right?"

Shocked into silence by his words, she could only nod mutely. _He's not angry with me! He just wanted to make sure __**I**__ wasn't angry. I feel so . . . warm inside._ She smiled up at him. "I believe you, Shepard."

Shepard saw the corners of her eyes crinkle when she smiled, and he felt his own face light up with a smile of its own in response. "That makes me really happy, Tali. Now go catch up to Garrus so I don't have to worry about you wandering the Citadel on your own." He pushed her gently towards the turian, who had stopped to wait for her. She practically skipped away, her head swimming with the idea that Shepard cared about her.

* * *

An hour later, the full team was at the C-Sec gun range, Shepard included. He was the last to arrive, and when he did, he pointed to his body and said towards Tali and Garrus "See? No holes." The team looked at him; Garrus and Tali in appreciation, and the rest of the team in confusion, but no one said anything. Continuing, Shepard added "And I didn't even get into a single battle the whole way," seeming to expect praise for his "accomplishment."

"Good for you, Shepard." Garrus said as Shepard moved forward to usher his team inside. "Wait!" He added suddenly as he noticed the matte black weapons affixed to Shepard's back and sides. "Those are different weapons than what you used when we were on Therum. They seem familiar, but I can't place the manufacturer . . ." Garrus trailed off, as he, like Shepard, Ashley, and Wrex, prided himself on his knowledge of weapons and their origins.

Shepard smirked, since he had been waiting for someone to notice. "Well, Garrus, I'm glad you noticed. These here are some HMW VII Spectre weapons. Top of the line death-dealing machines. They do more damage at a longer range and with a shorter cool down time than anything else you can get on the market. They're my new favorite toys in the galaxy."

"They look beautiful, Skip." Ashley chimed in, eyeing the AR covetously. "Can I have a go once we're in the range?"

"Sorry Ash, that's a no-can-do." He replied with a smile. Seeing Ashley's smile turn to a frown, he decided to tell her why. "These are Spectre weapons, which means they're only sold to Spectres. Seems obvious, right? But there's an addendum: they overload themselves, killing the person holding them, if anybody who isn't me tries to touch them. And since I don't want anybody on my team to die, nobody, and I mean **nobody** touches these but me." He met the eyes of each member of his team, making sure that they understood. Suddenly he thought of another thing he wanted to mention.

"Actually, while I've got you all here, and we're talking about weapons, let me add one more thing. While we're on missions, after we kill all the baddies, aka once we've **completely **cleared an area, feel free to look through the dead guys and take whatever you want. Especially weapons-wise. Armor may be a problem once we've riddled it full of holes, but hey, if it floats your boat, go for it. Any questions?" When nobody moved or spoke, he shrugged his shoulders and made sure everybody was in the gun range.

"Here's how it's gonna work." He said once they were all inside. "One by one, you're gonna come in here and show me whatcha got. Then, I'm gonna look at who excels in certain areas, and who could maybe us a little help in certain areas. Those two people are gonna work together, and hopefully everyone will be at or near the same superb skill level by the time we head out for our next destination. Capisce?"

"Commander, I think my translator glitched." Garrus said. "What is 'ka-peesh?'?"

Shepard suppressed a laugh at the turian's pronunciation of Italian. "It means, 'understand?'"

"Oh. I ka-peesh then." Garrus replied. This time, Shepard couldn't help but laugh aloud, making Garrus look both confused and a little cross.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Shepard motioned for everybody to come a little closer. "For crying out loud, get closer people. Nobody's gonna bite you unless you ask them to. And we don't have time for any of that kinky shit, so nobody ask for it." He saw the turian, asari, krogan, and quarian look at each other in confusion. _Fuck it, I'm not explaining that. They can look it up on the extranet if they're curious._

"So anyway, the way I'll be determining how 'good' you are is by timing you. I'll add time to your score based on accuracy, as determined by the scoring circles on the target itself. So shoot fast, but hit what you're aiming at. Now, since I believe in doing everything I tell my team to do, watch me and I'll walk you through how the shooting will actually go down." At this, Shepard walked up to the bench and hit the control to drop a target down from the ceiling.

"Everyone is going to start with the pistol. Then we'll move to the shotgun, then the AR, and lastly the sniper rifle." Shepard looked back at the group to make sure they were all still paying attention. "When I say go, you'll draw your pistol, and put five shots downrange, into a target at 10 meters. The timer will stop as soon as you fire the last shot," Shepard took a deep breath, then said, "like so. Go!"

As soon as he said the word, Shepard hit his omni-tool to start the timer, turned away from his team, drew his pistol, and put five rounds downrange. Quickly tapping his omni-tool again, he turned back to face his team. Looking down at his omni-tool, he read off the time. "3.34 seconds. Not bad. Now we check the big screen to see where the bullets went." Everyone looked over to one of the screens on either wall, and saw one, slightly ragged hole in the middle of the target's "head." "So there, I get to keep my time, because all the shots went through the head's x-ring."

Shepard proceeded to repeat the drill at 25 meters, and 50 meters. Both times, the "wound" in the target looked the same as it did the first time, and his times had a variance of less than 0.1 second.

"Next, you'll show me your shotgun skills. This will be done the same way as the pistol test. Same number of shots and same distances. Observe."

When Shepard finished demonstrating his shotgun skills, the 10 and 25-meter targets had no heads, and the 50-meter target had no torso. All three times came in between 8.0 and 8.5 seconds.

"After shotgun, I need to see what you can do with the AR. For the AR test, the distances will be 25, 50, and 100 meters. You'll fire five bursts of approximately three rounds per burst at each target. Watch me."

Unsurprisingly, each of the three targets had one large, ragged hole in the middle of their "chests." The three times were 3.9 seconds, 4.1 seconds, and 4.2 seconds.

"Lastly, I want to see your skill with the sniper rifle. There are a couple of differences between this test and the rest of the tests. Firstly, with the other tests, you're free to use whatever ammo mods you want. With the sniper rifles, you cannot use any explosive ammo mods. Other ammo mods are still fair game. Secondly, this test will not be timed. A good sniper will take their time, and make sure that every shot is a kill shot. 'One shot, one kill, no luck, all skill,' as the old sniper's adage goes." Shepard looked around at his team, to see if anybody else had heard that saying before. Garrus nodded when he caught his eye, and Shepard smiled at the turian marksman. Then he went back to explaining the test. "You'll fire three shots at 100 meters, three shots at 200 meters, and three shots at 300 meters. After that, you're done. If you want to keep going, I'll let you. Three shots per target at a target range of my choosing, and you can keep moving out until you miss two outta three. If anybody wants to go farther, I'll shoot with them, just to prove that I can. Everybody got it?" Everyone else nodded to him.

"Ok then. Since the targets are too far away to see with the naked eye, keep an eye on the big screens. That's what I'll be using for scoring, as well."

"Wait, Skipper, I have a question." Ashley interrupted.

"Shoot, Ash." Shepard said, laughing along with the team after he said it.

"How will you know who wins? You said you're not timing it, right?"

"Correct. I'll be adding up the points you get for your 'kills,' using standard tournament procedures."

"But if everybody's shooting the same number of shots at the same number of targets, what happens if you get a tie?" Ashley continued.

"Well, if you really want to win, you'll just have to keep shooting. I promise to push the ranges out at the same rate for everybody who wants to keep shooting. Fair enough?"

"Yes sir." Ashley said with a smile.

"Ok then. Watch me."

All nine of Shepard's shots went to the same place, right between the target's eyes.

"You all ready to show me whatcha got?" Shepard asked when he had finished shooting. A chorus of yeses answered his question. "In that case, everybody out except for Williams."

The rest of the team shuffled out to the waiting area. "Good luck, Ash." Kaidan whispered on his way out.

* * *

Ashley came out 45 minutes later. "How'd it go?" Kaidan queried.

"Not too bad. I think I did pretty good." Ashley replied with a confident smile. "He said to send you in next, Vakarian."

"Ok." The turian said simply, and got up and walked through the doors.

"How far out did you go with the sniper rifles?" Kaidan asked Ashley.

"I got two outta three at 700, but then only hit once at 800. Pretty good, if I do say so myself." Ashley couldn't help but grin widely at Kaidan's obvious discomfort at her answer. "Don't worry too much LT; you're just not in my league."

"Yeah, yeah." Kaidan responded. "Why aren't you leaving?"

"The Skipper told me nobody leaves until he's had a chance to talk to everybody as a group again." She replied. "So settle in, LT. It's gonna be a long day."

* * *

When Garrus came out, he pointed to Kaidan. "You're up, Kaidan."

"Thanks, Garrus." Kaidan said, then scrambled to his feet and headed in to meet with Shepard.

"So how far'd you go, Vakarian?" Ashley asked.

"Far enough." Was the turian's mild response.

"Come on, tell us." Ashley wheedled. "I went out to 800. Can you beat that?"

"I'd rather not talk about it. I'm sure I won't be alone in wanting to relax after that experience."

"Spoilsport." Williams said with a pout.

* * *

Kaidan came out, looking exhausted. "How'd you do Lieutenant?" Ashley immediately asked.

"Later, Ash." Kaidan replied quietly.

"Fine, whatever. You and Vakarian must have both sucked it up, because neither of you want to talk about it."

Both Kaidan and Garrus shot glares at the offending speaker, but she was too busy looking at her omni-tool to care.

"Who did Shepard want next, Kaidan?" Tali asked.

"Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Liara, you're up."

"Thank you, Lieutenant Alenko." Liara replied formally, before passing through the gun range doors.

* * *

"The Commander requests your presence, Tali'Zorah." Liara said as soon as she exited the range.

"What did you think?" Kaidan asked quietly as Liara sat down across from him.

"I do not think weapons are my strong suit, to be honest." She said, looking ashamed. "I feel that my biotics are much stronger than my skills with guns."

Kaidan felt bad for her. _She's just a scientist. And a kid scientist, no less. She shouldn't feel so bad. Maybe I can cheer her up a little bit._ Looking around to make sure everyone else was engrossed in whatever they were doing with their omni-tools, he leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially to the asari. "Don't feel too bad. I'm a marine, so technically I'm supposed to be a 'rifleman,' but I rely on my biotics so much that I'm just glad I can remember which way I'm supposed to point it."

Liara laughed quietly, out of relief rather than jest. "Thank you, Lieutenant. That does make me feel better."

"You're welcome, Liara. And please, call me Kaidan."

"Okay, Kaidan. Thank you."

* * *

Wrex was already standing, pacing by the door when Tali came out. "Good. I was about to start looking for a fight."

"I'm glad I finished when I did, then." Tali said, with a smile in her voice. "He's waiting for you." She gestured to the door she had just come through.

Wrex stomped through the door, and Tali took the seat he must have recently vacated. She looked over to see Garrus staring at her.

"What?" She asked defensively.

"I was just waiting for you to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Well, you usually start rambling when you get flustered, and I can't imagine using that sniper rifle was your definition of a fun way to spend an afternoon."

"I don't always ramble! And you're not much better, Mr. Grumpy Garrus."

"Oooh, grumpy Garrus! It hurts, Tali. It hurts so much." They both started laughing after Garrus finished joking. "But seriously, Tali, what did you think?

"I think I'll stick with my shotgun, thank you. And that's all I'm going to say."

_I swear she's sticking her tongue out at me under that helmet._ Garrus thought as he went back to checking the extranet for the latest sniper rifle news.

* * *

Finally, Shepard poked his head out and told them all to come back inside the range. Once the team was reunited, he began his debrief. "Ok, so, you all did really well. I definitely picked my team well. Who wants me to announce the best person in each category? If yes, raise your hand now."

Ashley and Wrex raised their hands, but no one else did. "That's decided, then. If you want to know your own scores and where you fall, come see me in my cabin. I'll be there for a few hours after we finish up here. Before we get to that, though, I wanted to pair you guys up so you can spend a couple hours over the next two days boning up on your skills."

Ashley and Wrex rolled their eyes, but everyone else seemed to be taking what Shepard had to say seriously. _Actually, Tali might have rolled her eyes too. I can't actually tell since I'm too far away to be able to see through her helmet. Can I even see her eyes roll through her helmet? I should try to, next time I talk to her._ Shepard shook his head, picking up where he had left off.

"If I don't call your name, it probably just means that you were proficient, but not excellent. Or maybe nobody needs help. Either way, don't read anything into it." He took one last look around, then got started listing off pairs. "Good news first: everybody was amazing with their pistols, so I'm not mandating any pair-ups. You can still practice together if you want to, though. For shotguns, I'd like Ashley to work with Kaidan, Wrex to work with Garrus, and Tali to work with Liara. First named person is the 'helper,' second is the 'helpee.' For ARs, I want Garrus to work with Liara, Wrex to work with Kaidan, and I'll work with Tali. Again, the first-named person is the preferred 'helper.' Lastly, sniper rifles. I want Ashley to work with Kaidan, Garrus to work with Liara, and I'll work with Tali. Same helper/helpee breakdown."

"Ok, now before I let you all go, I wanted to say a couple of quick things. First, I made sure you guys will get priority when you come to this range to work over the next two days. Second, I want you guys to spend at least two hours, per weapon, working with your partner before we leave the Citadel. And if you think I won't know, think again. I have a great many friends in C-Sec, including those who oversee the recording devices. So I'll find out if you're cheating." He eyeballed each and every member of his team, making sure they understood the seriousness of his words. "And lastly, you're free to spend the remainder of your shore leave however you please. You have no on-ship duties for the next two days." A small cheer went up from the team at these words.

"Before you leave, please talk to your partner about when you want to get together and practice. And I'll be in my quarters for the next two hours if you want to come by and discuss your own results with me. You're free!" With a laugh, he walked over to Tali.

"Hey Tali, do you want to just stop by my cabin sometime in the next two hours and we'll figure out a time to practice together? That way you can talk to the others right now?"

"Ok Shepard." Tali said sweetly. "I'll see you then."

Looking around to make sure his team was actively talking amongst themselves and no one needed his help, he left and headed back the Normandy.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Shepard was sitting in his cabin when a knock on his door pulled him out of a light doze. _Damn, I can't believe I fell asleep. Who'da thunk that watching other people shoot could be so freaking tiring? Certainly not me. Oh crap, I haven't answered the door yet._ "Enter!" He called out.

The door slid open to reveal Ashley. Behind her, Shepard could see the rest of the squad settling into the common area chairs. _Ha ha. I bet they're all going to come in and talk to me individually._ "Ashley, what can I do for you?" _As if I don't already know._

"I wanted to know how I did, Skipper."

"Ok Ash. Which weapons do you want to know about?" _Hmm, lemme guess . . ._

"All of them, sir."

"Have a seat while I pull up the information on my omni-tool." _Surprise, surprise. I win again!_ Shepard typed in a few commands to his omni-tool, and pulled up the following list:

Pistol: Me, Tali (-.25), Kaidan (-.4), Ashley (-.63), Garrus (-.69), Wrex (-.75), Liara (-.82)

Shotgun: Me, Wrex (-.4), Ashley (-.56), Tali (-.6), Kaidan (-1.4), Garrus (-2.14), Liara (-2.55)

AR: Me, Garrus (-.2), Wrex (-.31), Ashley (-.37), Kaidan (-.63), Tali (-1.48), Liara (-2.25)

Sniper Rifle: Me, Garrus (1200), Ashley (800), Wrex (500), Kaidan (300), Tali (100), Liara (100)

"Ashley, you were third in pistol, second in shotgun, third in AR, and second in snipers."

"Really?" She asked incredulously. "There's somebody better than me with the assault rifle?"

"Actually, two of your teammates are better than you are with the AR."

"Well, I wasn't counting you, Skipper. I figured you were first in everything. Who else?"

"I wasn't counting myself, either, Ash; just the rest of the squad. And I won't give you anyone else's scores or standings." _Something tells me you'd be uber-pissed to hear who it was that was ahead of you. Because guess what, the only thing Kaidan beat you in was pistols! Everybody else was, ahem, not of your race._

"What?" Ashley stood up abruptly, her face taking on color. "How could I be worse than two of those aliens out there?!"

_Oh look, there's the xenophobic behavior I've come to know and love from you, Ms. Williams. One of these days, you're gonna say something like that to Wrex or Garrus, and they're gonna kick the shit out of you. And if that happens, I won't be happy with you fucking with my team dynamic, so then I'll have to beat the shit outta you. _"Those **aliens** are your teammates and allies, Ash. Try to remember that. And they didn't beat you by much."

"How much is 'not much,' Skipper?" She asked, settling back down into her seat.

"The best recruit was only two-tenths of a second off my pace; and you were only .37 seconds off my pace. So 'not much' in this case is seventeen one-hundredths of a second." _I don't think "not much" could get any smaller, actually._

"Are you sure? Maybe you were late hitting the omni-tool on one of my goes."

"I wasn't, Ash. Everybody's timing protocol was exactly the same. Now the question is, what are you gonna do with this newfound information? I'd recommend you use this to light a fire under your ass, because I won't stand for you becoming any more antagonistic towards the other people on this boat." _In fact, if you want to keep you spot on the team, it might be a good idea to tone __**down**__ the antagonism a few notches._

Williams was quiet for a few moments, before she finally looked up at the Commander and forced a strained-looking smile on her face. "I'll try, Shepard."

"'Atta girl. I'm guessing somebody else wants to come in and know how they did, so feel free to send whoever wants to come in, in." _Hopefully that was the worst of them._

"Will do."

The next person to walk into Shepard's cabin was Wrex.

"Wrex."

"Shepard."

Shepard chuckled internally. _Goddamn, that never gets old. I could sit here for hours just going back and forth with him. "Shepard." "Wrex." "Shepard." "Wrex." "Shepard." "Wrex." "Shepard." "Wrex." Alright, no giggling at the table. It's not like you don't know what he's here for. _"I assume you want to know where you stand?"

"Yes."

Shepard gestured to the seat across from himself. Wrex sat down heavily.

"Wrex, you were fifth in pistol, first in shotgun, second in AR, and third in snipers." _And I really need to figure out what you did to your shotgun to make a triangular spread. The targets looked wicked cool after he finished his round. I wanna do that to people!_

A smile slid across Wrex's face. "So I'm better with a shotgun than you are?" He crowed triumphantly.

"Nope, sorry. I won everything, so I was only comparing you to the other recruits." _I really should just start leading with that. Come on, Spike, pull your head outta your ass and think ahead a little bit._

"Hrmm." Wrex growled to himself. "But I was better than everyone else?"

"Yes." _That would be what "first" means, Wrexie-poo. Oh god, never say that again. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little._

"Hah! That's enough for now, then." Wrex stood up and walked out the door.

"Wrex," Shepard called. Wrex turned around. "Could you send in the next person who wants to come in?" _You gotta love talking to Wrex. No aimless bullshit, no boring niceties, just direct and to the point. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am. A man truly after my own heart._

"Shepard." Wrex said with a nod.

Kaidan came into the room next. "Hello, Commander."

"Kaidan! Good to see you again. What can I do you for?" _Although don't look so hopeful, Kaidan. I really don't swing that way. Sorry bud._

"Can you tell me where I placed, Commander?"

"Sure thing. Have a seat." Kaidan sat down in the other chair and looked down at his hands. "Kaidan, you were second in pistol, fourth in shotgun, fourth in AR, and fifth in snipers. And that's only comparing you to the other recruits, because I won everything." _About time I wised up and said that early on. Should save me a lot of trouble later on._

"Ok. Thanks, Commander." Kaidan got up to leave.

"Wait, Kaidan. That's it?" _I expect this kind of behavior from Wrex, but not Kaidan. Poor sod's not the most chatty of LTs, but he's usually good for more than a dozen words._

"Yes. What more is there to say? I'm a lousy marine. I'm in the bottom half of the class with weapons."

_He looks really dejected. It's not really his fault, though. The Alliance just doesn't spend as much time training biotics how to use weapons. That's the Alliance's failure, not his._ "Hold on for just a second, Kaidan. You're not a lousy marine. You're just being compared to some of the best shooters in the galaxy. It's hard to beat someone that good. And don't worry about the sniper rifle thing, because it's much more of a specialization than the other weapons. Being 'just average' with a sniper rifle is an achievement in and of itself. But as to your shotgun and AR skills, use this as an opportunity to become better than the Alliance trains you to be. Ashley and Wrex are phenomenal shots with the weapons they're gonna be giving you pointers on. Learn from it, and you'll go in for your next re-cert and blow the Alliance testers away. So cheer up, alright? This team is too grumpy as it is." _And it's led by el grumpo supremo, also known as Spike "Leave me alone before I decorate your intestines with your teeth" Shepard._

"Yes, sir!" Kaidan snapped off a salute and headed out the door looking noticeably more upbeat.

"Send in the next person, please, Kaidan." Shepard called out to his retreating back.

Liara was the next team member to walk through Shepard's door.

"Hi Liara." Shepard smiled at her. "Please, have a seat." _Ah, it's good to have a woman across from me again. I gotta admit, I got really lucky that all three of the ladies on my team are sexy as hell. Wonder how that happened?_

"Thank you, Shepard." Liara said as she sat down. "I know I am not very good with weapons, but please allow me to remain with you. I can get better, I know it."

"Take it easy, Liara. No one's getting kicked off the ship." _Sheesh, take it easy there kiddo. The time at the range wasn't a try-out or some shit like that. I thought I explained that before we left? Oh well, I'll just hit her over the head with it until she understands._ "I need every one of you to take down Saren. Nevertheless, I'm really glad to hear that you're going to get better. I know Tali and Garrus are gonna be great teachers, so I'm confident you'll be one of the best shooters in the 'verse in no time. And when that happens, watch out! Your biotics, combined with your soon-to-be killtacular weapon skills, will make you one of the pre-eminent ass-kickers in the galaxy."

"Thank you Shepard. It means a lot to me, to hear you say that. Thank you for allowing me to join your crew, as well. I have never spent much time with people, even asari, and I must say it is nice to have friends, now."

"You're very welcome, Liara. Would you like to know how you did? I understand if you don't." _But come on, don't break the streak! Or would it be a tradition? Either way, I'm kind of enjoying this._

"What do you recommend, Shepard?"

"I always like to know where I stand, so I can track my progress. But that's just me." _And because I'm an insanely competitive asshole who drives himself to extremes until all bow down before me. Or at least know not to fuck with me._

"Very well. I'd like to know my scores, then."

"Alrighty then. You were last in everything." _Oh boy, I probably could have sounded a bit less happy about that fact._

"Oh." Liara's face fell.

_Shit. I should have tried to soften the blow or made a joke or something. Now she's gonna be even more depressed. You dumbass!_ "There is some good news, though, Liara."

"And what is that, Commander?" Liara asked, still downcast.

"You were less than a second off my time with your pistol, and I had the best overall time. Plus, you have the most room to improve out of everyone. For example, I 'won' everything. But that means I have to put in hours and hours and hours of practice to improve by a tenth of a percentage point. And if I don't practice for hours and hours, my skills actually start to degrade. But the two hours you're 'required' to do over the next few days will likely make you twice as good as you are now." _Christ, Spike, that barely made sense to me. And it was my rambling mumbo-jumbo! I sure hope she's smart enough to get something out of that mess._

"You are implying that I will experience exponential growth?"

"Yes, exactly! That's my science-y girl! Exponents! I was gonna go with diminishing returns, but exponents describe it better. I think. Whatever." _Thank god for smart chicks. I'm pretty sure she just got hotter. It's not every day I meet a woman who can actually make some sense out of a full-length conversation with me._ He shook his head, trying to clear it. "And don't forget, you're already really good with your pistol. Plus, you can spend as much time as you like working by yourself on the range, if you don't want anyone to see you."

"I won't forget, Commander. And thank you very much." Liara smiled warmly at him.

"You are so very welcome, Liara." Shepard responded with a warm smile of his own. "Please send in whoever else wants to talk to me." _Only two people left. Who's it gonna be, Tali or Garrus?_

"I will."

Garrus strolled into Shepard's cabin and sat down across from the Commander. "So how'd I do, Commander?"

Shepard smiled at Garrus's easy appearance. _Garrus it is! __I gotta say, I'm really glad he and I hit it off. I'm pretty fucking lucky to have another real marksman on my squad._ "Well Garrus, you did alright, I guess." He smirked at the turian.

"Uh huh. How good is 'alright,' exactly?"

"Well, I don't really know how to break this to you, but you were fourth in pistols and fifth in shotguns. Luckily for you, Wrex is practically a savant with that shotgun, so he can hopefully pull you out of your suckfest in a few hours." Shepard was grinning wickedly as he layed it on thick for his friend. "You may also want to seek some sort of remedial class for your pistol work, as well." _Ha ha. For some reason I feel like Garrus could teach remedial classes to most of C-Sec. Although to be fair, I'm not sure if that says more about Garrus's skill, or C-Sec's general shittiness._

"I appreciate your concern, Commander. I'll try to take that under advisement. But I noticed that you didn't mention ARs or sniper rifles while you were listing my scores."

"Oh, you noticed that, did you? Well I guess turians aren't as stupid as they look! Somebody should make sure that news gets out to the media. Your people could really use the good publicity." Both snipers had a laugh at this. "But putting the joking aside, you were first in both ARs and sniper rifles. Not that I expected anything less. In fact, I would have been absolutely shocked if you hadn't trounced the rest of the team. It's an honor to have you aboard, Mr. Vakarian. And it's a privilege to work with a marksman such as yourself." _And that's no bullshit, buddy. Shit, imagine how much damage we could have done on Torfan together?_

Garrus nodded gravely, accepting the praise for what it was. "Thank you for allowing me the honor of serving aboard the Normand, Commander. And since it takes a great sniper to recognize another, let me add that you are one hell of a marksman yourself."

_Alright, that's enough of that sappy formal shit. _"I 'preciate that, Garrus. I reckon we've got more skill with a rifle in this room than most planets can probably scrape together, huh?"

"Yes, that is true. I'll get you one of these days, though, Shepard. Just you watch."

"Anytime you want a rematch, Vakarian, you know where to find me." _You'll never beat me, but maybe next time I'll try to take some money offa you._ Shepard gave his friend a smile and a nod as the turian headed for the door. "Hey Garrus, if Tali's still out there, can you send her in?"

"Sure thing, Commander."

The next time his cabin door swooshed open, the person Shepard was most looking forward to seeing walked through the door.

"Tali!" Shepard cried, getting up from the table and moving over to hug her. "It seems like it's been days since I saw you! I think you've grown another three or four inches! How the hell are you?" _What the hell is wrong with me? Laying it on a little thick, don't ya think? Why can't you just act normal, you fool? Oh well, at least she's laughing. I can live with that, even if she's laughing at me. Chicks like funny guys. Well, human women like funny guys. I have no idea what quarian women like. Maybe I should ask. . . No! You really are a moron, aren't you?_

Tali giggled at his exuberant greeting. _He's so funny. How does he make me laugh so much? I've never met a man like him before. Maybe I can tell him how much he means to me someday. Too bad he has a girlfriend. I hope she realizes how lucky she is._ "It does feel like a long time, Commander." _Too long? Perhaps._ "How did I do?"

"Ah, I'm wounded Tali! I thought you were here for my charming personality, but alas, you just want to use me like all the rest!" He smiled goofily at her, before schooling his features into a much less ridiculous smile. _Traitorous facial muscles! Stop smiling!_ "At least have a seat. I know I'm going to."

They both moved to the table and sat down facing each other. "Hmm, where are you on this list. Ah, yes. Tali, you were first in pistols, third in shotguns, fifth in ARs, and fifth in snipers. Luckily, I happen to know one of the best snipers in the galaxy, and he's agreed to help train you up some." _What's with the modesty all of a sudden? One of the best in the galaxy? Bitch please. I am __**the**__ best._

Tali laughed again. "Well, tell him he's very kind. And that I look forward to getting better with rifles."

"I will." Shepard chuckled. _Hot damn I can't get enough of a woman with a sense of humor._ "Did you find a time to work with Liara and show her how to properly wield a shotgun?"

"I did. And we're probably going to go on for longer than two hours, because Liara really wants to get better."

"I'm glad to hear that. She told me as much when she was in here earlier. I'm sure you'll be a great teacher." He smiled at her again, encouraging her. _I almost want to re-test Liara before we leave, and see just how much she's improved. I have a feeling her score would rocket up._ "And by the way, call me Spike."

"It means a lot for you to say that, Commander. Er, I mean Spike." Tali replied, smiling back at him. _Curse this helmet. I wish he could see how happy he makes me. But why does he want me to call him Spike?_

"Hey, are you smiling in there?" Shepard asked suddenly.

_How can he know that? Can he read my mind? Keelah, that would be so embarrassing!_ "Yes I am, Shep-, Spike. How did you know?"

"I can just sorta tell. I think it's a combination of your posture, the tilt of your head, and I can kinda see your eyes and cheeks. It just looked like smiling." _Yeah Spike, because watching somebody's every move and staring through their helmet isn't creepy at all._

_At least he cares enough to try to see how I'm feeling._ Tali sighed internally. _Something is better than nothing, I suppose. But if he takes off his shirt again like he did earlier, I don't think I could stop myself from trying to touch him._ "Well, I'm glad you're starting to be able to tell how I'm feeling. I was worried I might have to start speaking my emotions like an elcor if you didn't wise up soon!" Her little laugh brought a much heartier laugh to Shepard's lips. "Ooh wait, why do you want me to call you Spike?"

"It's my nickname. A lot of my friends call me Spike. I thought we were friends, so I wanted to give you the option of calling me something other than 'Shepard' or 'Commander,' at least in private." _I wanna be your friend, Tali._ He mocked himself in a singsong voice._ Oh god, please stop. I hate that stupid little voice. Go back into whatever corner of my head you crawled out of, damn it!_

"Ok, Spike." She was positively beaming under her helmet, a fact that was not lost on Shepard. "Wait, if Shepard is your last name, and Spike is your fake first name, what's your real first name?"

"I can't tell you that, Tali. At least not yet." He could see her smile fade. _Aw, don't be sad. Please?_

"Why not?"

"Because even my best friends don't know my real name. They know me as Spike." _Huh. Best friends . . . I think that's pretty much nobody right now. I really need to get out more. That's it, I've decided. When I kill Saren, I'm taking at least a month-long vacation. And the Alliance can go bone itself if it has a problem with that._

"So doesn't anybody know your real name?"

"I do." _There really is no replacement for sarcasm, is there?_

"I meant besides you."

"I see." Shepard grinned at his joke. "In that case, there are other people who know my real name. The Alliance, specifically. I had to tell them in order to enlist." _Rotten little bastards that they are. I don't know why "Spike Shepard" wasn't good enough for them. Spike is a hell of a lot better than "Adalrico."_

"Why don't you tell other people your real name?" Tali pressed.

"Because talking about my name makes me remember things I'd rather forget." As he said this, his eyes fell to the ground and he looked sad for the first time since Tali had met him.

_You stupid bosh'tet! Who do you think named him? Of course he doesn't want to remember his dead parents. Do you like remembering Mother? Why do you have to keep asking him about them?_ "So you never tell your friends your real name?" She asked softly, trying to change the topic.

"No, I don't." His answer was subdued, and his eyes still faced downward. "It takes a lot of trust for me to open up that much." He suddenly looked up at her, his eyes burning with intensity. This time, she was the one to look away.

_I wish I could be someone like that. I wonder if his "girlfriend" knows. I shouldn't ask, though. Especially not right now._

_I wonder what she's thinking in there. I hope she isn't too sad. It's nothing personal; it's just that trust takes time to build. Maybe I should invite her to dinner. She probably pities me enough right now to agree. Do I really want to guilt her into a date, though? Is it a date at all? Fuck it, I don't care. Some date-like-thing is better than no date-like-thing. _ "Tali?"

"Yes Spike?"

"Do you want to get some dinner with me somewhere?" _Oh damn, I shoulda used this time to get that little "talk" with Beth out of the way. Fuck, no chance to do that now. Wait a second, that can't take too long, right? "Hey, sorry you're sad, the geth are total dicks, stop being a bitch to me or I'll dump your pretty little blonde ass." That's what, like, thirty seconds worth of talking? I'll just build some lead-time in to my dinner plans. You da man Spike!_ "My stomach's telling me it'll be chow time in about, uh, an hour."

"Yes, I'd like that a lot." Tali replied, and he could just make out the smile behind her helmet.

Shepard walked Tali to the door. "Alright, Tali, I'll see you in an hour?" _That's gotta be plenty of lead time to talk to Beth, shower, shave, and get dressed in something halfway-decent, right?_

She nodded. "Would you like me to just meet you up by the airlock?"

"Yeah, that'll work. I've probably got some stuff to take care of before then, so if I'm late, just wait for me. If I'm more than five minutes late, have Joker page me, and I'll come right up." _Unless I'm in the shower still, in which I probably won't hear the little cretin._

"Okay, Spike." She smiled up at him.

He looked around carefully, making sure there was no one nearby. "Cool, Tali. Just remember, it's Shepard when the crew can hear you. Spike is okay anytime they can't." _God damn, that little smile she's got going on is so fucking adorable. It should really be illegal. Maybe I should submit a memo to the Council about it. "Why sexy little quarian engineers smiling demurely should be outlawed." Yeah, that sounds like a pretty good title. And the rest of the memo would just say: "Because it's way too god damn sexy and it's all you can do not to throw them down on the nearest flat surface (or slam them up against such a surface) and have your way with their sexy little bodies until they can't walk properly and waddle away with an extra-sexy wiggle to their sexy fucking asses." Is that too many "sexys?" Nah, I don't think so. Holy fucking shit, Spike, you need to get laid. Your brain is turning to mush._

"I remember, Shepard." She winked at him, then turned and walked away.

Shepard just stood and stared, watching her hips sway back and forth. _Did she just wink at me? Nah, she musta just had something in her eye. Goddamn, she has great hips. What a gorgeous ass. I wonder if it's tight and firm, or soft and squeezable. What I wouldn't give to find out. Fuck, I probably shouldn't be thinking about how amazing another woman's ass is while I'm about to go talk to my girlfriend. Although to be fair, Beth doesn't have an ass like that. So it's not my fault that I'm looking at such a fine piece of real estate, right? Probably not._ Shepard shook his head at the depravity of his thoughts. _What the fuck is wrong with you, Spike?_


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Shepard walked back into his cabin, locked the door, and sat down at his desk. After he got into his message center, he sent Beth an invitation to a vid-chat. After waiting a few minutes, she responded, and her image crackled to life. "Hello, Beth."

"It's good to see you, Spike. How have you been?"

"Can't really complain." _I probably shouldn't tell her about riding a Colossus 'til it exploded and threw me into a building hard enough to dent a high-strength alloy. I'm sure she'd just get pissed off about that, too._ "How are you?" He saw her mouth waver and her eyes glisten, and cursed himself. _You fucking moron. She obviously hasn't gotten over her parents yet, she __**told**__ you that. How the fuck do you think she's been? You musta been dropped on your head quite a few times before mom and dad died, eh Spike?_

"I've been, alright, I guess. Some days are harder than others. Sometimes I forget that they're gone, and I start to comm Mom for advice. And then-" She broke down, crying. After a few minutes, she sniffed and wiped her face dry. "Sorry, Spike. I know you don't like it when girls cry."

He shrugged helplessly. "It's okay. I know you're going through a lot." _I fucking hate it because I can never do anything to make it better, but I'm sure as hell not gonna tell __**you**__ that right now. Unfortunately, I'm fresh outta comforting words at this point. Please stop crying and change the subject, Beth. Right now, would be nice._

"So what do you want to tell me about Eden Prime, Spike?"

_Ah hell. Any subject change but that one, damnit. And why does it sound so much nicer when Tali says "Spike" than when my girlfriend, my fucking __**girlfriend**__ says it? Maybe that Colossus fucked me up more than I thought. Might have Chakwas give my brain a quick once-over; make sure nothing's too out of whack. Well, any more than usual. Oh fuck, she's still waiting for an answer. At least she stopped crying._ Shepard scrambled to buy time. "Well, uh, what did I tell you last time?"

"You told me that you couldn't tell me anything but that the geth attacked Eden Prime, and you killed some of them. Then you got all defensive and hung up on me." She scowled at the memory.

_Well I wouldn'ta had to get defensive if you weren't being a fucking bitch._ Shepard drew a long, deep breath, trying to rein in his temper. _Just think about going to dinner with Tali later. Happy thoughts, Spike. Happy fucking thoughts._ "Well, that was true. Is there something specific you wanted to know?"

"How about what really happened?"

"That **was** what really happened. The geth attacked, I lost one of my men, I fucked up a whole bunch of geth in response, and then I got the hell out of there." He shrugged his shoulders and held his palms out, entreating her to stop asking questions.

"So did you see my parents at all? And what were you doing on Eden Prime anyway?" She demanded.

"No, I didn't see your parents. We were on the other side of the colony from them." _That's a lie, we were not __**that**__ far away from their house, but since it's little and white, I'm gonna go with it anyway. There's no way she'd know otherwise._

"But you were still on the planet! Couldn't you have stopped in to check on them before the mission? Or maybe after?"

"No. We dropped hot, so there wasn't any way to go sightseeing beforehand. And I wasn't really in the best of shape by the end of the mission, so I didn't really have any choice but report back to the Nor- I mean, to the ship." _Nice going, fucktard. Almost let her in on one of the Alliance's fanciest new secrets. Although since I'm a Spectre now, and it's my ship, I probably wouldn't get in trouble. But I probably shouldn't be mentioning what it was doing before it came into my possession, I guess._

"What were you going to say just now?" Bethany demanded, her eyes intense with interest.

_Fuck._ "Just the name of the ship is all. Not important to the story. But like I said, I was in no condition to be making decisions about where to go."

"Why not? What happened?"

"Just got myself into a fight I couldn't win. But I'm not dead, so I don't consider it a big deal." _Ha. That's a good one Spike. Can't win a fight against a fucking inanimate object. Damn beacon. Still, it blew the fuck up, so I guess I technically did "win" that one. Certainly not one of my finer moments, though, that's for damn sure._

"Then why didn't the other guy kill you, if you couldn't win?"

"Ummm . . ." _Shit. How the hell do I answer that one? Damn. Stop fucking asking questions, Bethany. Just roll with it for Christ's sakes. Oh, I know._ "Well, I just said I couldn't win. I didn't say he could, either. Guess we both gave as good as we got."

"Mhmm."

_There's no way she believes that. I know that look. It's the same one her dad used to give me every damn time I opened my mouth. That motherfucker never trusted me again after Brian died. Asshole._

"Fine, whatever, let's say I believe you." Bethany's tone clearly conveyed that she didn't, but she continued anyway. "Why were you on Eden Prime in the first place? You said the Alliance didn't know the geth were going to be there, yet you arrived just in time to fight them?"

_Once again, damnit. How the hell does she remember shit from, what, a month ago? Doesn't she have anything better to do than memorize every fucking word I've ever said, just so she can use them against me?_ "Well, um, I guess, if I did say that, then it's right. Nobody knew the geth were gonna attack Eden Prime, except probably the geth. As for why we were there, the mission I was on brought us into that neck of the woods. We picked up a distress call, because of the aforementioned attacking geth, and decided to help." _That's not a bad story, actually. Most of it is true, with just the right amount of bullshit sprinkled on top. Damn I'm good._

"Oh really? You were a top secret mission that you can't even tell me about, but your Captain decided to stop in the middle of it to go answer a distress call?" Her voice was full of disdain, bordering on sarcasm.

_Now that's uncalled for. She's making fun of my perfectly believable story. And not even for the right reasons._ "Beth, you've been in the military for long enough now to know that protecting innocents is something we take very seriously. So yes, when we get a panicked distress call from one of the first human colonies in the Terminus, the Alliance takes that very seriously."

She appeared to be considering his words for a moment. "Fine. But what brought you into Utopia anyway? There's nothing out there of any use. Like, literally. So why would you be there? Were you going to Eden Prime anyway?"

_Sometimes that girl is too damn smart for her own good. It really doesn't surprise me that she graduated with honors. She musta fucking memorized every damn word that ever came out of her professors' mouths. But there's no way I can tell her why we were there. I'm sure she'll just fucking __**love**__ hearing that again._ "Ah. Well, see, Beth, I really can't tell you that. The mission I was on is still classified. You know how the Alliance loves to keep their little secrets." He smiled wanly at her, trying to soften the impending explosion.

He was very surprised, therefore, when she just pursed her lips and looked down at her hands for a few long minutes. Finally, she spoke. "And you really can't tell me?"

_Holy shit! She doesn't sound pissed off at all. Maybe she thought about what I said the other time we talked and realized there's nothing I can do about need-to-know. Halle-fucking-lujah, it's a miracle!_ Shepard fought to keep his face neutral. "No, I'm sorry honey. I really can't."

She was quiet for another long minute. "Alright. I understand." She suddenly looked off to her right. "I'm sorry Spike, but someone's outside the door. I'll have to go. I'll message you sometime, okay?"

"Yeah, okay. Bye Beth." He waved to her before she cut the connection. _Well that went much better than expected. And I've still got enough time to shower and change before I have to meet Tali on the bridge. Bought some sexy new weapons, patched things up with my girlfriend, and gonna go get some dinner with a foxy lady-friend. Life might finally be looking the fuck up, Spike old boy._

* * *

"Hey, Tali." The pilot said without looking back to see who it was.

"Hi, Joker." She replied as she sat down in the seat to his right. "How did you know it was me? I didn't see you look over your shoulder."

"Didn't have to." He answered with a shrug. "You guys all sound a little bit different when you're coming up the hallway. So I can usually guess who's behind me based on what kinda noise I hear."

"Oh really?" She seemed intrigued. "What do I sound like?"

"Well, you and Garrus both have weirder feet than we do, so I can tell when it's one of you two pretty much all the time."

_My feet aren't weird!_ She thought indignantly. _Human feet are weird. It doesn't even make sense for them to be able to stay upright without a wide footprint like ours._ "What about Wrex?" She pointed out. "His feet are different from human feet too."

"Yeah, but he's so big and loud that it'd be impossible to mistake him for someone else. So it's really just you and Garrus who are different from everybody else, but close enough to each other to make me pay attention."

She giggled a little internally. _He has a point. Wrex really does stomp his feet everywhere he goes. I think I can tell when he's in the mess hall just by watching the ceiling shake while I'm in Engineering._ "Then how do you tell us apart?"

"Your footsteps sound a little bit lighter, more graceful, maybe? I'm not sure how to describe it, but Garrus is more prowl-y, and you're more dainty." He took off his hat and wiped a hand across his forehead. "It's hard to explain, alright?"

"I understand." She nodded her head. "Can you tell the humans apart?"

"Not really for most of the crew, since I'm not viewed as being the most sociable guy around. But Shepard, Ashley, and Kaidan all come up here pretty regularly, so I've gotten used to the way they walk."

She straightened up almost imperceptibly when Joker mentioned the Commander. "What do they sound like, to you?"

Joker failed to notice the hint of excitement creeping into her voice, as he was too busy trying to figure out how to describe what were, to him, minute differences in vibration and frequency that he **felt**, rather than heard. "Well, Ash and Kaidan both have, like, a military feel to them. It's like they're walking across the parade ground all the time, you know?"

She nodded her head in assent. _I don't know what a parade ground actually is, but it sounds important. It's probably similar to the way marines walk while they're on patrol in the Flotilla. Maybe I'll ask Shep-, I mean, Spike, what it is during dinner. Oh good, Joker's speaking again._

"But Ash is a little more forceful. She sorta reminds me of a smaller Wrex. Moreover, I can tell when it's Kaidan because he walks with a little more bounce than Ashley does. Maybe he does it with his biotics, like, subconsciously or something, but he sounds like he weighs less than he does. Kinda creepy if you ask me." He looked to her for confirmation of his feelings.

"Mhmm." She said, nodding. _That makes sense, I suppose. Ashley always seems angry, and so does Wrex. And Kaidan __**is**__ a biotic, so maybe he can make himself lighter. I wonder what it would be like to be able to make things move with my mind. Hah. I bet it would make getting to some of the repairs on the Rayya easier. But what about Shepard? I want to know what to listen for! That way when I hear someone coming, I can keep my hopes in check._ "Joker, how do you tell when it's Shepard?"

"Ah. Well, do you know that feeling, that sort of tingling that tells you you're being watched?"

"Yes." She said, very confused.

"Well, when you feel like that and you haven't heard anything in a while, it's probably Shepard." He grinned at her. "That guy's scared me half to death about a dozen times, and he's only been on the Normandy for, like, a month. Or thereabouts."

_Darn! I was really hoping he'd be able to tell me that Spike always thumps one foot more than the other or something, so I could listen for it. Instead, all he contributes is "If you feel like someone's watching you, it's the Commander." Although I wouldn't mind if he were staring at me. But why would he do that? He probably thinks I'm still a child because I'm on my Pilgrimage. I wonder what it would like to be the one staring? If I could sneak up on him without him knowing I was there, I would just stand there memorizing every part of his body. I wouldn't even leave to eat. I'd just stare at him. Maybe I'd surprise him by reaching out and grabbing his butt and squeezing, just to see what it felt like. If I got to do that, I think I could die a happy woman. Oh, Joker's talking again._

"So why'd you want to know that stuff anyway, Tali? Can you really hear that sorta stuff inside your helmet?"

She bristled. "We have audio pickups, Jeff. So yes, I can hear. Probably better than you, or any other human, for that matter."

"Oh, hey, whoa now." He made a stopping motion with one hand. "I didn't mean it like that. I was just wondering how you guys manage in those suits. I mean, I don't have the most active social life, but at least I can enjoy the sensation of sliding into silk sheets buck-ass naked, or taking a nice hot shower. It sounds rough, is all I'm trying to say. I don't know if I'd be able to cope with being isolated from the real world. Well, anymore than I already am."

"Oh." _I probably shouldn't have gotten angry. I mean, nobody on the Normandy has even been mean to me, let alone intentionally insulted me. I should apologize._ "I'm sorry, Joker. It's just that everyone looks down on quarians because of the geth, but they either forget that the geth hurt my people worse than anybody else, or they think we got what we deserve. Sorry."

"It's okay." He said, smiling warmly at her again. "I get like that about my disease, too. I practically jumped down the Commander's throat the first time he came up here to ask me 'how I was doing.' All he was actually asking was if I was getting along with the Normandy." He paused, and then continued with a wink, "On a side note, how could I not? It's as if we were made for each other. But I got all angry at him because I thought he was implying I couldn't do my job. Really lit into him, too. He just stood there, let me vent, and then asked me what I was on about. I felt like a fool."

He hung his head, and she reached out and patted him, gently, on the shoulder. "I know how that feels, Joker. I think we've all been there with Shepard. He just never seems to do what is expected."

"Ain't that the truth. Maybe someday we'll figure him out." Tali nodded her agreement before Joker continued. "But anyway, back to my original question: why were you so interested in what people's feet sound like?"

She blushed deeply under her helmet. _I can't tell him that I spend my free time in Engineering daydreaming about Spike coming down to visit me, and I just wanted a way to keep my heart from racing and then dying every time the Engineering doors open but it isn't him._ "I was just curious, that's all. I never know who's around me just based on the way they sound when they walk, so I wanted to know more."

"Fair enough. So how long before you have to get back down to Engineering?"

"I have the whole afternoon off."

"And you came up here to spend it with me?" Joker asked, flashing a surprised smile at her. "I'm flattered. Not sure I'll be great company, but you're always welcome to chill out up here."

Her hands had started twisting nervously in her lap, and she looked down at them before answering. "Um, actually, I'm meeting someone up here, and then we're going to go and get some food, together."

"Oh really?" Joker waggled his eyebrows at her. "Got a hot date lined up and no room for the lovable pilot with a heart of gold? Who's the lucky guy?"

_I shouldn't have said anything. What do I say? What will he think if I tell him I'm going on a date with the Commander? I don't know that it is a date, but he might assume it is, even if I say otherwise. Maybe I can lie. No, that isn't right._ "It's not a date, Joker." She said firmly, not allowing any of her uncertainty to leak through. "The Commander just wanted to get some food, and I was the only person around for him to invite." _But that actually sounds like a real explanation! What if it is, and I was just a convenient way to spend some time? I don't care. I enjoy spending time with Spike, and even if he's only going to dinner with me because he doesn't want to be alone, I'm still going to enjoy it!_

"Uh huh. Suuure it isn't." Joker couldn't resist having a little fun at her expense. "I'm sure it's purely a platonic meal. Probably just to discuss battle plans, or improving the Mako, am I right? Because he wouldn't invite you to lunch, or just meet with you down in the Cargo Bay to talk about that stuff. Oh no, it has to be dinner. So tell me, you going someplace fancy?"

"Um, I don't know. We, uh, didn't talk about that. He just said to meet him up here and we would go out to eat."

"So he's surprising you? Damn, Shepard's got some mojo."

Before Tali could ask what "mojo" was, a voice from behind them answered Joker.

"Yes, Joker, I do have mojo. If you're good, I might use it to help you get laid someday. The way you're going, though, I doubt it."

Joker and Tali had both jumped in their seats when they heard Shepard's voice appear out of nowhere. They both turned around looking for him, Tali with a hand over her speeding heart and Joker picking his hat up from the floor.

"Christ, Shepard, don't do that!" The pilot moaned. "You're gonna to give me a damn heart attack one of these days." A sudden thought occurred to him. "Uh, how long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough, Helmsman." Shepard said with a toothy smile that would have made a varren turn and run for its mommy. "And there have been several times when you haven't noticed me at all. I'm surprised at how much the Normandy's controls resemble Galaga."

Joker gulped and turned pale. "Well, you know how it is, Commander. You ground-pounders are so easily impressed by the flight controls up here. Doesn't surprise me you mistook it for something else."

"Oh really?" Shepard said, delighted that Joker had dug himself an even deeper hole. "Huh. I guess I should ask the Brass about what part of the Normandy uses 'high scores.' I'm sure they have some scientist types who can explain all the complicated tech stuff to me, since I'm just a poor, easily awed ground-pounder."

"Uh, yeah, see, I don't think you need to do that, Commander." Joker stammered.

"And why is that?" Shepard responded, smiling even more dangerously.

"Umm, well, I can just give you some private lessons. You know the Alliance always tries to overcompensate by overcomplicating. Let **me** help you, Commander."

"I'll think about it, Joker." Shepard said, and then finally broke into a real, friendly smile. "Just shitting you. I might have to come up here and see if I can't kick your ass at that game sometime, though."

"Oh thank god." Joker rubbed his face enthusiastically. "You really had me going there Commander. Remind me never to play poker with you."

"I can't guarantee that." Shepard said, before turning to Tali. "You're awfully quiet over there, Tali. Ready for some dinner?"

She nodded, then got up and walked away, waving good-bye to Joker as she went.

Joker continued to sit motionlessly, except for the one hand that was slowly rubbing his chest, trying to slow his raging pulse. "He's gonna freaking kill me." He said quietly to himself, before pulling up some diagnostics to run on the Normandy.

* * *

Tali and Shepard were riding the elevator down to C-Sec from the Normandy's docking bay. "So, Tali, anything in particular you feel like eating?"

"Umm, no, Shepard. Wherever you want to go is fine." She said, without looking up at him.

"Are you ok, Tali?" _She doesn't seem to be in a good mood. She didn't even laugh when I was taking the piss outta Joker. What happened to her earlier excitement at the idea of going to dinner?_ "You didn't say a single word the whole time I was yanking Joker's chain. What's wrong?"

"I'm fine, Commander." She said, still not looking up at him.

_Alright, now I know something's wrong. She hasn't called me Commander since, shit, I don't know. Come on, Tali; tell me what's going on. Don't ruin my mood like this. Maybe she doesn't actually want to go to dinner with me, but she thinks she has to since I'm in charge. Yeah, that's probably it. Oh! And it explains why she called me "Commander." I should make it clear to her that I only want her to come with me if she wants to._ "Tali, I know something's wrong, because you never call me Commander. I want to make it clear that I only invited you out to eat because I thought it would be nice to spend some more time getting to know you. I think your people are fascinating," _One specific example of your race in particular,_ he managed to keep from saying, "But please, I don't want you to come with me because you think I'm forcing you too. I just enjoy your company." _A lot!_

"That's not it, Shepard." _I shouldn't be taking my feelings out on him. It's not his fault he's so beautiful that he makes me want things I can never have. Well, perhaps it is, but I certainly can't blame him for it! And I didn't actually say anything awkward to Joker, praise the Ancestors, so there's no way he could have any idea of the way I actually feel for him. If he did, he would never have followed through with this dinner. He wouldn't be able to feel comfortable, knowing I wanted to run my hands over every inch of his amazing body, and – Keelah! What's wrong with me? He's standing right here, and I'm daydreaming about things that would make a bonded couple blush! Pull yourself together, Tali._ She realized that he was still waiting for her to answer, and trying to read her emotions through her faceplate. _I have to come up with something to say, and it __**can't**__ be the truth!_

"It's just that talking to Joker made me think about some assumptions that I had previously made." _Yes, that's a good response. Vague enough that he can interpret it however he chooses._

"Like what?"

"Like," She stopped midsentence, having finally realized why she was so distracted by Shepard's physique. "Shepard, you're not wearing your hardsuit!"

"I'm well aware of that fact, Tali." He said, chuckling.

"But why not? What if something happens to you?" Her voice was tinged with worry.

"Tali, I'll be fine." He said reassuringly. "First off, we're on the Citadel. The seat of galactic power. I'm sure C-Sec is very good at their job." _I'm not, really, but I don't want her to worry about me._ "Second, I'm never unarmed or unarmored. I mean, you can see my pistol. That alone probably makes me one of the more dangerous men on this station." _Hell, with my bare hands I've gotta be in the top ten. With a pistol and knives, top five, easy._ "I wear a kinetic vest anytime I go anywhere without armor. I learned that lesson the hard way on Elysium. Attached to said vest are two holsters which contain my fighting knives and several throwing knives." He lifted up his shirt and showed her. "Oh, and third, if anything goes wrong, I can just hide behind you. Your suit's shields will protect me." _Plus, I would get to stare at your lovely ass the whole time. Sounds like a pretty good deal, actually._

She laughed. "Alright, Shepard. I guess you're right. But try to keep things from going wrong." _Now I know what those black metal pieces were that he attached to his armor in the marketplace. It's just his version of my boot knife. I wonder what exactly happened on Elysium. I should try to find out more about his past the next time I have some free time._

"I'll do my best, Tali." He smiled down at her. "And feel free to call me Spike out here, as long as we don't run into any of the crew."

"Okay, Spike." _I love saying his name. It makes me feel so special, knowing I'm one of the few people he trusts enough to be able to call him that._

"Good. Now that that's settled, where do you want to eat?" Shepard gestured to the variety of shops and stands in front of them.

_I hadn't even realized we were already at the Presidium Commons. I blame Spike. I can't keep my eyes off of him, even to look at the surroundings, whenever he's not in armor. It doesn't help that he always walks just a little bit ahead of me, as if he's clearing a path. On the other hand, maybe he wants me to be able to stare at his butt. I find that explanation highly improbable, however._

She sighed as her thoughts returned to the much more depressing matter at hand. _I don't know if any of these places will even let me in. Most places don't serve quarians, because they think we're all thieves and beggars. I should have thought of that before I agreed to come to dinner with Spike! I don't want to embarrass him, I would __**never**__ want to embarrass him, but they probably won't serve him if he's with me, and I know how mortifying that is!_ "I don't know, Spike." Despite her bleak thoughts, she still smiled as his name passed her lips. "Wherever you want to go is fine." _Just please, please don't go to one of the fancier places. I __**know**__ they'd never let a quarian in._

"Well, you can eat turian food, right, because it's dextro?" She nodded her head, so he continued thinking aloud. "And I need levo-based food, or I'll probably get really sick. So we need a place that serves both kinds." He looked around, before spotting a restaurant that looked promising. "Let's go check that place out."

_Oh no. I know that place won't even let quarians near it. I heard from someone who had gone to the Citadel during their pilgrimage that this place would call C-Sec if a quarian sat down on one of the benches within a six-meter radius. We can't go there!_ Tali thought frantically of a way to dissuade Spike, but couldn't come up with any reason that would stand up to scrutiny. Resigned, she continued to follow him closer and closer to the restaurant.

"Hello. Welcome to D'Allezaro's Restaurant." The turian maitre d' said as Shepard reached the doorway.

"Hi there." Shepard answered. "I was wondering if you have both turian and human food?"

"Of course, sir. Will you be meeting someone here?" The turian responded, pointedly ignoring Tali.

"Nope. Just the two of us."

"Pardon me, sir, but what two? I only see you?"

"Oh, sorry, I musta been standing in front of Tali." Shepard said, taking a step to the side. "It's just me and her today." He gestured back and forth between the diminutive quarian and himself.

"You mean you intend to dine with a quarian, here?" The turian's voice betrayed his disbelief.

"Yes." Shepard's eyes had hardened. "I do intend to dine, **with my friend.** Although it may not be at your establishment if your tone doesn't change."

"I am afraid my tone is of no consequence to you, human." The maitre d's face took on the turian equivalent of a sneer. "Her kind are not welcome here. This is a quality establishment, and we do not cater to the dregs of intergalactic society."

Shepard clenched his fists and ground his teeth together to keep from punching the turian purely on instinct. _Count to ten, Spike. Calm down. It won't do any good to knock his fucking teeth down his throat. Won't change shit. Alright, there's no way I can make it to ten. Five, maybe. Ok. One. Two. Fuck, this isn't working. Maybe if I just count to three? No, then it feels like a countdown. A countdown to beating this bastard to death with his own fucking skull. Oh, that would be fun. No. Not three. Count to five. Come on Spike, you can do it. What would Tali say if she watched you kill a man in cold blood? She's seen you kill hundreds of geth and mercs and pirates, but not maitre d's. Do it for her, god damnit._

_Breathe in, breathe out. One. Breathe in, breathe out. Two. Breathe in, breathe out. Three. Breathe in, breathe out. Four. Breathe in, breathe out. Five. There, I counted to fucking five. I still want to beat the everlasting shit outta this motherfucker, but I'm in control. I won't do that. Not right now, anyway._ "You and your restaurant can go to hell, fuckface." He said, then turned on his heel, grabbed Tali's hand, and walked away.

_Thank you, Ancestors!_ Tali sent up a quick prayer while they walked. _I was so afraid he was going to attack that turian. He obviously deserved it, but I wouldn't want Spike to get in trouble. He looked so angry though! I've never seen him that furious. It even made me a little afraid, and I was the one being championed. However, I also felt strangely attracted to him, even though I was afraid. That doesn't make any sense. And I know this isn't the right time to be feeling like this, but I'm so happy right now because he's holding my hand! It feels so nice. His hands are so big and strong. And warm. I don't want him to ever let go. I'm sure he will, though, once he calms down. He still looks angry, though. Maybe I can help relax him._ "If looks could kill, I believe that turian would be dead, Spike."

That stopped Shepard in his tracks. He turned to look down at Tali, an expression of curiosity on his face. "Do quarians say that too? Because humans have a saying just like that."

"No, it's not a quarian saying." She smiled up at him. "I did some research on the extranet into some of the idioms you use, and I've been dying to try them out. I used it correctly, then?"

"Yes. You were spot on, Tal." _She's totally smiling under there. I'm getting a lot better at reading her emotions. So, yay, I guess?_

Tali struggled to keep her emotions in check when she heard Shepard call her "Tal." "Did you mean to call me 'Tal' just then, Spike?"

"I did." _Oh damn, she may not be asking because she enjoyed it. Damage control, Spike!_ "I just thought it sounded kinda cute, sorta like a nickname, and wanted to try it out. But if I offended you or pissed you off or something, I'm sorry, and I won't do it again."

She smiled. _I guess he talks too much when he's nervous, too._ "It's okay, Spike. I like it." _I don't think "like" is a strong enough word for the way I feel right now, knowing that he accepts me on his crew and as one of his own. He even gave me a nickname! Yay!_

Shepard took a big sigh of relief. "I'm really glad. I was worried there for a second that I'd done something wrong. I'm not the smoothest person when it comes to inter-species faux pas. Speaking of which, do you just want to go back to the ship? I'm really sorry for what that asshole at that restaurant said about you. I wanted to defend you, but I tend to use violence rather than words, and I didn't want to get arrested for beating the crap out of some random racist jerk."

"It's okay, Spike. I could tell that he made you angry, and that's more than enough for me. I don't expect you to fight every person who insults quarians."

"Yeah, I'd probably have to give up hunting Saren to do that. Seems to be a lot of 'em." He grimaced. "But I should defend you. You're one of my crew, which means I have to look out for you."

_Too bad I can never be more than just a member of your crew._ She thought sadly. _But it's more than what I would ever expect from a non-quarian._ "Thanks, Spike. And I don't want to go back to the ship. We might be able to get something from one of the more low-scale food places. Do you want to try?"

"Hell yes. I promised you a dinner, and a dinner you will get. Even if I have to traipse all over the Citadel to find it."

"That means a lot to me, Spike." _Probably more than you can ever know._ She thought to herself somberly, as she followed him to the other end of the Commons.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Alright, so help me figure out which one of these places serves both dextro- and levo-based food, Tali." Shepard said with a vague gesture towards the many middle class restaurants that surrounded the pair. _Because goddamn, there are a lot of choices. Why do there need to be so many of these fucking places, anyway?_

"Umm, hold on." Tali pulled up her omni-tool and started looking for information on the extranet. _I should have been doing this while we walked over here. With luck, I can steer him away from any places that have a noted prejudice against quarians._ "It says here that the two best places serving food that is safe for both humans and turians are called 'The Boutique Bistro' and 'Digeris Foods.'" _And neither of them seems to be overtly anti-quarian._

"Digeris? Why does that sound familiar . . ." Shepard trailed off, trying to remember where he had heard the name before. _I didn't eat out anywhere last time I was on the Citadel, did I? Unless I did something I don't remember while I was hammered. That might be bad. Shit._

Tali did another quick search on the 'net. "It says that Digeris was the site of an important battle during the Krogan Rebellions."

"That's it!" Shepard snapped his fingers. _Oh thank god. I haven't embarrassed myself at some random restaurant, then._ "I remember studying this in one of my tactics classes during basic. They wanted to show us the way you, or your enemy, can use the surroundings to your advantage. It was supposed to teach us how to pick the proper engagement area."

"What happened? In the battle, I mean?"

"I figured you meant that, Tal." He shot her a smile that warmed her entire body. "A krogan warlord attacked Digeris, which is in the same system as Palaven. When reinforcements from Palaven arrived, he put his dreadnoughts' backs to the planet to discourage the turians from firing their main guns too often. The turians won, eventually, but it took them a lot longer than it otherwise would have."

"That's . . . interesting, I guess." _I really don't find that interesting at all. But if this is the cost of spending time with him, alone, I will gladly listen to as many boring lectures as he cares to recite._

Shepard burst out laughing at her tone of voice. _I think she finds that just as boring as I did when I was in basic. Of course, I now know how valuable that lesson can be, but I hope she never has to learn those lessons the way I did. ICT was a fucking nightmare. But hot damn does it work!_ "It's okay, Tali. I didn't find it very interesting when I learned it, either. I just memorized part of the story in order to learn the lesson."

"Oh. Good." _I'm glad he wasn't insulted._ "Which of the two places would you like to try, Spike?"

Shepard turned away, trying to simultaneously hide his grin and look for the two restaurants. _It sounds so fucking nice when she calls me by my first name. Still don't know why, but I'm not gonna care anymore. I'm just gonna sit back and enjoy it._ "It looks like that Boutique place is closer. Try there first?"

"Okay." She said, smiling up at him through her helmet.

_Yeah, she's definitely smiling. I feel like I'm really starting to get the hang of reading her body language and, what, eye expressions? Or something like that. Whatever. Point is, I'm awesome. That means it's okay for me to smile back though._ Which he did, locking his eyes with hers for a moment that seemed to stretch on for much longer than its actual two-second duration. Tearing himself away, Shepard gestured for her to walk next to him.

They walked to the restaurant in silence, both of them lost in deep thought regarding their feelings about the person next to them. When they reached the eatery's façade, Shepard marched up to the host and fixed her with an immobilizing stare. Tali followed behind, wringing her hands in worry.

"Do you serve quarians here?" Shepard jumped right to the heart of the matter.

"Uh, hello, sir." The host answered, taken aback by his forthrightness. "Unfortunately, we are unable to accommodate quarians in our restaurant."

"Fine. Have a nice fucking day." Shepard's harsh response caused the host's jaw to drop, before he turned and quickly walked back out onto the Commons proper.

Once again, Tali had no choice but to follow him meekly. _I'm starting to feel like I'm eight years old again, and Father is leading me around his labs, telling me to behave, while he gives orders to his staff. That feels unfair to Shepard, though. He hasn't told me to be quiet, or even ordered me to follow him. He's been nothing but considerate. How many non-quarians would even want to be associated with one of us? No, he is most certainly not subjugating me the way my father did. Perhaps it's that he carries himself with the same air of commanding authority that Father did while overseeing work on the Flotilla. If that's the case, then why do I find him attractive? Am I attracted to Father? No, I can't be._ Despite her mental reassurances, she shivered.

Shepard noticed when she shook slightly, and that fact immediately derailed his other, less-pure thoughts. "Are you alright, Tali?" _Christ, I don't even know what I'd do if she got sick. Do I call for help? Call Chakwas? I don't even know where the doc is. Wait, that doctor on the Wards, Michel or something, treated Tali before. I'd commandeer a vehicle and get Tali there. That's a solid plan._

"No, I'm fine, Commander." _By the Ancestors, I certainly can't tell him that I was struggling to convince myself that I am __**not**__ attracted to my father._ "I'm just glad you didn't get quite as angry that time."

"Ah, yeah, I'm sorry about earlier, again. It was just a surprise to me. I don't think of you, or quarians in general, as any different from anybody else. I forgot that the rest of the galaxy tends to be full of xenophobic dicks. Don't misinterpret my actions in that 'Boutique' place though, I'm really pissed off. Humans don't have any right to look down on any of the other races. I expected better of her, because now I feel like she's reflecting poorly on my whole race, you know?"

She nodded. "I understand, Spike. Should we try the other restaurant, or do you just want to go back to the ship?"

He steeled his features and set out for Digeris Foods at an initial pace that had her struggling to keep up. "No. We're getting a nice meal together if I have to pull out my gun and Spectre credentials and force somebody to let us in."

"That's really not necessary, Spike." She tried to calm him down. "You don't have to prove anything to me."

"I know." _But now it's personal. All these fucking places dissed my crew, which means they disrespected me. And I'm gonna kick some ass if they don't wise the fuck up._ "Let's at least try this last place, then we'll re-evaluate our strategy."

"Okay." _I don't think that the next place will let us in, either. At least this gives me more time to watch him walk._ She spent the rest of the walk idly fantasizing about Shepard's body.

When they reached the entrance to the restaurant, he paused for a second and composed himself. He forced a smile onto his face, and then strolled up to the wait station. "Hello." _Damn it, I still sound angry. Lighten the voice, Spike._

"Good afternoon." The turian on duty responded, with a nod of his head.

"I have a question, before I came in here and spent my hard-earned credits." _That's better. You sound much more casual now. They're not all "hard-earned" credits, but enough of them are._

"Yes?"

"Do you let quarians in here?"

The turian hesitated before answering, in an effort to buy time to decipher the correct answer, the one that would entice the human in to spend some credits. He couldn't get a read on the human, though, so he decided just to opt for the bare truth. "We do."

"Really?" Shepard was taken aback. _Well I'll be damned. The fucking human-run restaurant won't let quarians in, but this obviously turian place, run by the most annoying fucking race in the galaxy, does. Almost makes me ashamed to be associated with those other racist bastards._ "Excellent!"

The turian was pleasantly surprised at the human's response. "I must tell you, however, that we do not have the ability to convert anything on the menu to something that would be edible to quarians."

"But most of the dextro stuff on the menu is an option, right?"

"Of course." The turian nodded to reinforce his point. "Some of the specialties, however, cannot be sterilized due to their ingredients."

"That's fine." Shepard waved the last comment away. "Table for two, please."

"Follow me." The turian turned and led them away.

Shepard contained his excitement until he reached the table, where he pulled out the chair for Tali to sit in. He took the seat at the other side of the table, and then grinned widely at her. "How about that, huh? This place is perfect. Great atmosphere, too." _Alright, maybe I'm embellishing a bit._ He glanced around furtively. _Definitely a turian atmosphere, but hey, beggars can't be choosers, right?_

Tali smiled widely back at him. _He seems so happy. Did finding a place where we could have dinner together really mean that much to him? It is quite a pleasant surprise. Maybe he does care for me. No, he can't. He can't even see my face. I also don't understand why he pulled my chair out for me. It must be a human thing. Maybe I can research it later on the extranet._ "It is very nice, here, Spike. Thank you again for inviting me."

"It's my pleasure, Tal." He couldn't keep the smile off his face. "Now let's find something to eat, shall we? I'm starving."_ All that walking around and being angry drained whatever I had in the tank. What do they have that looks good?_ "Oh, and make sure you order whatever you want. I know people; humans at least, can be shy about ordering food when they're not paying. Order something that looks tasty. Business has been good lately." He winked at her.

"Fine, Spike." She said with a smile that threatened to split her face in two. _I feel badly about not contributing to the meal, but I don't want to insult him. I suppose one nice meal can't hurt._

The pair sat in silence for a few minutes, looking over the holographic menus. Finally, Shepard spoke up. "You know what you're gonna get yet, Tali?"

"Umm, yes. I think so. Do you?"

"Yep. What are you gonna get?"

She hesitated and looked back down at her menu. "Would you tell me what you're getting, first?"

Shepard smiled, not caring that the only part of her that could see would be the top of her head. _She's really cute. I bet she wants to see what I order, then pick something that's nearly the same price. That's what I'd do, anyway. Should I set a bad example and get a beer, too? Oh hell, why not? I'm taking a well-deserved break from some serious shit. One beer is the least I can do for myself._ "Sure. I'm gonna get the Ottawa Special, and a 375 of Stella Veisse." He tapped the proper commands into the menu, which then faded away.

_Ottawa Special . . . Ottawa Special . . . There it is! Okay, 18 credits. And Stella Veisse, that sounds like a drink. There! Oh, beer. I didn't expect him to be drinking. I didn't really think about a drink at all, to be honest. But if he is, does that mean that I can? It must._ "Okay, Spike. Then I'm going to get the tarkza quon. And a 350 milliliter bottle of sarkouzy." She finished inputting her order, then looked up and caught him grinning at her. "What?"

"Nothing." _Yeah, I was totally right. She definitely made me go first and then ordered something that was the exact same price. There's no freaking way that that's a coincidence._ "I'm just glad you found something you wanted to try."

"Me too." _I feel like there's something he's not saying. I'm sure if it were important, he would tell me. I should be spending this time finding out more about him. Every time we talk, it's always about me. I feel this, craving, to know more about him. I don't understand, but for some reason it doesn't matter._ "So, Spike, I was wondering if you'd be willing to tell me more about yourself, now. I feel like you know everything about me, but I know nothing about you."

_Oh, I wouldn't say I know everything about you. I feel like I've barely scratched the surface. Ha ha. "Scratched the surface." Oh, good one, Spike, very funny. You find the weirdest fucking shit funny. Whatever._ "Well, Tali, I can't say that I feel the same way, but what do you want to know?"

_So many things! What do I want to ask first? I should probably avoid anything to do with his family, at least for now. Oooh, I know._ "You said that 'Spike' is your nickname." He started shaking his head, but she held up a hand. "Don't worry; I'm not going to ask you about your real name." He stopped shaking his head, and she continued. "I was wondering how you got that nickname."

He smiled. "Well, it all started back when I was little. As you already found out, I didn't grow up with my parents, after the age of, like, three or something. I lived in a sort of group home that the Alliance created especially for kids who were orphaned by the First Contact War."

"I'm sorry, Spike." She frowned under her helmet. "Were there a lot of orphans?"

_I don't like her being sad. It's unbecoming. And makes me feel sad. Time to make this story happy in a hurry._ "Not really. Maybe 30 or so. But that's not the good part of the story."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. So I grew up with a bunch of other kids, running around trying to find trouble. Of course, on a space station, there wasn't that much trouble to get into. But we managed to find our fair share."

"Like what?" _I can't believe Spike was a troublemaker when he was younger. Although, based on his actions during our engagements, perhaps I should have expected something like this._

"Well, a couple of kids; not me, by the way; used to try stowing away aboard Alliance ships. I usually led raiding parties on ships that were in dock for a while. We'd explore around a bit, pretend we were fighting the turians, and then high-tail it out of there before somebody found us. Sometimes, if we found something that looked neat, we might," he coughed, "borrow it."

"You stole things?" Tali was shocked, as stealing was punished both criminally and socially on the Flotilla.

"Well, yeah. We were just kids at the time. It was never anything really big or expensive. Just a hat, or a pen, or a knife. Actually, that plays into how I got the nickname." He took a hard look at her. "You seem upset, Tali. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? You're telling me, quite calmly, that you stole things from your fleet. From the people who protected you! How could you?"

"Hey, Tali, it wasn't that big a deal. Like I said, I never let anybody take anything that was too valuable. And, to be fair, I've more than paid the Alliance back for anything I took when I was younger. Actually, I've probably paid them back for everything all of us took, with interest, all by myself. I've been in the Alliance for over a decade, and contributed copious amounts of blood, sweat, and tears to protecting people. So as far as I'm concerned, I'm square with everyone." _Well, not everyone. I still owe Saren the ass whooping of a lifetime. However, he's not really the subject of this conversation._

Shepard's explanation gave Tali pause. _That . . . actually makes sense. Whatever he may have done in the past, he has atoned for. Why did I get so angry with him, and then forgive him just as quickly? Maybe I'm hungrier than I believed._ "I suppose you're right, Spike. We actually have a similar notion to what you expressed, although I've never heard of it being applied to a crime."

"What's your 'notion' all about?" _I can't believe she didn't keep arguing with me. I was all ready for another attack along a different line. I know Beth woulda just jumped on a different part of all that. Point to Tali._

"Ever since we've been restricted to living in space, the formal way to say 'thank you' is to say 'this gift of resources shall be repaid.' If the other person wants to convey that repayment is unnecessary, they say that 'that which is given freely incurs no debt.' What you're expressing seems to be that you've repaid your 'debt of resources' in quarian terms."

"That's beautiful, Tali. Do your people have a lot of sayings like that?"

"None that I can remember off the top of my head." She giggled. "Now stop trying to get me off topic and finish your story."

"Right. Story. Well, anyway, one of the things I 'liberated' when I was, like, six, was a knife. Of course, now I know that it was a knife. But at the time, it was so unlike the things we used to eat food, I knew it had to be something else, something more exotic. I carried that thing around with me everywhere, trying to hide it inside of baggy clothes or backpacks. I eventually got tired of referring to it as 'it,' so I went to one of the public terminals and tried looking up the name of whatever this thing was." He laughed at the memory.

"So I kept trying different descriptions, and kept getting 'knife,' which I just **knew** wasn't right. Finally, I got back 'spike' with one of my searches. I liked the sound of that, so I started calling my knife, my 'spike.' I also began insisting that my friends and teachers call me Spike. By the time I got to basic, though, the military knew me as 'Shepard,' and I didn't really have many friends left to call me Spike. Oh don't worry," he noticed she was starting to look anxious, "they didn't die or anything. We just drifted apart as we got older. So now I'm usually Shepard; but certain people get to call me Spike. I don't have that knife anymore, but I still carry a knife around at all times. Even found out when I joined the Navy that it's one of their unofficial rules. Number 9, I think."

"Thank you for sharing that with me, Spike." She smiled as she said his name. "I'm glad that I was able to earn your trust."

"Hey, thanks for coming along with us on this crazy adventure. Actually, now that I think about it, you're the only living person that I know who actually knows that story. Aside from myself, of course." He smiled at her.

Tali's heart kicked into overdrive. "Thank you, Spike." Her grin was practically ear to ear, when a sudden thought occurred to her. "So your girlfriend doesn't know?"

"No. I've never really opened up to her the way I have to you." _Oops. That may explain why she's been so pissed off lately. I guess it's possible some of her arguments actually __**do**__ have a valid point. Huh. Who'da thunk it?_ "I don't know why that is. Any ideas?"

Tali was practically hyperventilating. _Keelah! I don't know why I feel this way but I'm full of pride and happiness and excitement all at once. I can't understand why he seems to trust me so much, but I'm certainly not going to question it. Maybe that's why I've grown to trust him so quickly, even with my life. Reciprocal trust. Perhaps I can message Auntie Raan about it. No, we're supposed to be out on our own, and fully independent. Whenever I return to the Flotilla, I can ask her then. I should really answer Shepard for right now, though._ She cleared her throat and took a deep breath, trying in vain to calm her body. "No idea. I'm still struggling to understand you and the rest of the crew."

They both smiled at that. Before she could ask another question, their food arrived. True to the word of the turian at the door, Tali's food was enclosed in a container that was clearly marked "Sterile." The pair looked up at each other, then, as if reaching an unspoken agreement, started eating in unison. Shepard cut into one of the pancakes and carefully inspected it before popping it into his mouth. _That's not half-bad. This place is definitely going right up to the top of my list of "places that don't suck to eat at."_ He looked over at Tali, to see how she was doing.

At the same time as Shepard had picked up his fork and knife, Tali had started her own, rather more extravagant process. First, she picked up the container with the food in it and carefully inspected it, making sure all the seals were intact. Then she threaded the outgoing port of the tube into her helmet's intake port. She took a moment to queue up an application of medi-gel and antibiotics, just in case, then opened the ports' seals and took a hesitant sniff. When nothing untoward happened, she tried a little of the food inside.

Shepard had watched the whole process with rapt fascination. _Alright, Spike, stop watching her. Don't you realize how fucking creepy it is to just stare at someone while they eat? To be fair, I can't actually tell if she's even had a bite, yet, but it's still creepy. And wipe that stupid grin off your face, before she thinks you're some sorta psycho._

For her part, Tali was, for the first time all night, not paying any attention to the man seated across from her. _By the Ancestors, this is amazing! It's so much better than nutrient paste! I don't know if I'll be able to enjoy nutrient paste ever again, even the chazlit flavor. I wonder if they can sell me several tubes full of this, and then I can bring it with me on the Normandy. I hope Spike's meal is as good as this is._ She looked up, and finally noticed him staring at her.

He ducked his head down, and suddenly became very interested in his bacon. _Crap. Caught with your hand in the cookie jar, Spike._

"How is your meal, Spike?" She asked with a wide smile.

_I really hope that smile is because of her food, and not because she's gonna give me shit about staring at her._ "Pretty good. You seem pretty happy over there, how's yours?"

"It's amazing! Thank you so much for bringing me here, Spike. This is probably the best thing I've ever had in my mouth." To her surprise, Shepard burst out laughing, practically choking on his food. "Why are you laughing?" She asked, suddenly defensive. _I wasn't making a joke! If he is making light of this meal, I will do something very mean to him. I don't know what, but he will not enjoy it._

Shepard caught the warning in her tone. "It was just something you said, Tali. I'm really glad to hear that you're enjoying yourself, and it was my pleasure to bring you here."

"Then why are you laughing at me?" She repeated, only slightly mollified.

"It's just, you said something that is pretty funny to human guys, and I couldn't help myself. Really, it's no big deal."

"What did I say?" _I'm not mad at him anymore, now I just want to know what I said so I can avoid it in the future. Especially around the other members of the crew._

"Erm." Sheppard rubbed the back of his neck. "Well, it was that 'best thing you'd ever had in your mouth' comment."

"I don't understand."

_Oh boy. Are we really gonna talk about this over dinner? I guess I don't really have a choice, because I recognize the "I'm not dropping this" look I'm getting. Funny how even though her face is shielded, stubbornness shines through like nobody's business._ "Well, sometimes, when a boy human and a girl human love each other very much-" _although that's not strictly true, since usually the boy human is always good with it and the girl human has to either be really infatuated or really drunk, but there's no way I'm going __**there**__._

Under her helmet, Tali felt a flush start to rise in her cheeks and her palms start to sweat, as she started to guess where the conversation was going.

"The girl human will do this nice thing for the boy human where she puts a part of the boy human's body in her mouth, and it makes the boy human **veeeery** happy. So happy, he just **explodes** with excitement." _Fuck that was awkward. I sure as hell hope that that was clear enough, because I really don't wanna have to go more in-depth about that. Especially not here, and especially not with her. I can't even properly see her face, but just her and that in the same conversation is getting a reaction. Down boy!_ He looked over at Tali, expectantly.

She refused to meet his gaze. _I feel so embarrassed! I can't believe I just talked about mating, with my Captain! Now he's looking at me as if he expects me to say something. What do I say? Why don't people have personal FTL drives so I could just disappear and reappear in some dark corner on the Normandy? Better yet, some dark corner down in Engineering on the Rayya._ Then her thoughts took a different tack and a flash of jealously coursed through her. The feeling went unrecognized, however. _I wonder if he is speaking from personal experience, with his kuzo'yar of a girlfriend. I shouldn't ask him that._ "So does your girlfriend do that to you?" _WHY did I just ASK that?!_

Shepard spit out his last mouthful of beer all over the remains of his dinner. _What the fuck? Is she just yanking my chain because I explained that to her like she was a stupid little kid? Or is she honestly just curious because she's never heard of it before? I don't expect it to be that first one, since she's never said something like that to me before, but I think the second one is worse! How the hell do I get outta this one? I'm pretty sure Beth would be super-pissed if she knew I was talking about our sex life, or rather more accurately, lack thereof, to one of the girls in my squad. And a really hot girl, no less. Fuck._ "Ah. Er. Well, uh . . ." _Oh real fucking smooth, Spike. Try saying something coherent the next time you open your damn mouth._

He took a deep breath, and then started again. "Actually Tali, she doesn't. But I don't really want to talk about whatever my girlfriend and I do, or don't do, in private. Okay?"

Tali nodded mutely, still in shock at what she had just said. She scrambled for a different topic. "That's, um, fine, Spike. Can you tell me more about your girlfriend?"

Shepard nodded, somewhat relieved by the change in topics. _I don't really want to talk about Beth right now, but hey, it's Tali. I have the hardest damn time shutting her down about anything. Even when she goes off about the Tantalus's positive flux west capacitor or some shit that I cannot fucking follow. She's just too damn cute! Right, Beth. Focus on Beth, talk about Beth._ "Anything specific you wanted to know?"

Tali had done some research on human relationships during the hour she was waiting for Shepard. _I know that the "how they met" story is usually important, and I do want to know more about what she looks like, and how nice she is. She must be amazing if Spike is courting her._ "How did you meet her?" She asked, before she started switching out the empty food container for the full wine container.

"Well actually, she is the younger sister of this guy I knew, Brian. He and I met at basic, and just sort of hit it off. Since I didn't really have a family to go home to, he sorta just brought me along with him whenever he would head back. Long story short, I apparently made an impression on Bethany, and a few months ago, she told me that she liked me." _Well, I guess kissing me out of the blue is more __**showing**__ me she liked me, but eh, close enough._ "We agreed to give it a try."

"That sounds . . . nice, Spike." _I wonder how long she had to hide her feelings for him before she was able to tell him that she cared for him. That must have been hard._ "I don't have a brother, obviously, older or younger, but I feel like in most species, older siblings tend to look out for their younger counterparts. How did your friend Brian react when you, or his sister, told him that you were courting her?"

Shepard held up a hand. "Whoa whoa whoa, Tali, let's not get ahead of ourselves here. I wasn't courting her." He saw her look of confusion, and then realized what the problem might be. "To explain, in our culture, courting means you're seriously looking to marry somebody. Dating, what Beth and I are doing, is where you just try to get to know enough about each other that you can see if there's potential for a life together to succeed."

"Oh. For quarians, courting is the first stage of forming a bond. I don't think we really have an equivalent to 'dating.'"

"Huh. So how does that work, then?"

Tali sighed. "It's a very confusing process, even to the people undergoing it. I think you probably have to be quarian to understand."

_Well damn. That sounded pretty interesting, too. I wonder how many stages there are?_ "Fair enough, but can I ask one more question?" She nodded, so he continued. "You said 'stage' like there are discrete, easily identifiable steps. Is that the case? And if so, how many 'stages' are there before you get to be bonded to someone?"

_I can probably answer that._ "There are three stages. Once both quarians have made it through all three, they are bonded by their ship's Captain, and then they will be together forever."

_That sounds . . . idyllic. Probably pretty nice, too. But are they really together forever?_ "Forever? What about divorce?"

_I remember seeing that on the extranet._ Tali shuddered. "There is no such thing, for quarians. No quarian would ever even entertain the notion of leaving their bondmate."

_Really nice then. I never really saw the point of divorce anyway. Just don't be an idiot, and marry the right person. How hard can it be?_ "Was there anything else you wanted to know? And how's the wine?"

"It's very good, thank you. How's your beer? And yes, I wanted to know more about her, your girlfriend. What does she look like? What does she do? What do the two of you do during your time together?" She suddenly flushed as she remembered his earlier words. "I mean, what do you do when you are just passing the time?"

He laughed. "Firstly, my beer is not bad. As to some of your other questions, let me show you a holo. He typed in a few commands to his omni-tool, and a small holograph popped up.

_I was right._ Tali thought sadly. _She is beautiful. Much prettier than Ashley, anyway. Although maybe I'm being unkind to Ashley because she scares me a little. And because she is so forthright in her desire to be with Spike. I don't quite know why that upsets me, but it does._

Shepard deactivated his omni-tool then answered her other questions. "As for what she does, I think I mentioned last time that she's an engineer, or trying to be. She went to college, and got a degree in something cutting-edge, then joined the Alliance. She's graduating from basic soon, right now she's in that last part where she starts to get some specialized training in her chosen field of expertise. Even once that's done, though, she'll still probably end up avoiding the front lines. She's too intelligent to risk out in the field."

He drained the last of his beer, and then continued. "And in what little free-time I ever have, I like to keep it low-key. Occasionally we go out to dinner, but usually we just sit at home and watch a vid or read something together on the couch. Usually one of us cooks something halfway decent, and we just relax. It's really nice. Well, from my perspective at least."

_That sounds so nice. I would probably believe that I had died and passed on to live with the Ancestors if I got to spend entire evenings just sitting next to him, stroking his body, feeling his powerful arms pulling me closer. Mmmm. I should wait until I get back to the ship to fantasize about that, though. I have the real thing sitting right in front of me, right now._

"Hey Tali, are you about done? I was thinking about heading back to the ship soon, make sure Joker hasn't absconded with it."

She laughed warmly. "Okay." As he leaned down to pay their bill, a sudden thought struck her. "Oh, Spike?" He nodded without looking up. "You never answered one of my earlier questions."

"And what was that?" He said as they stood to leave and started walking for the door.

"You never said how your friend Brian reacted when he found out that you were 'dating' his sister." Her stomach immediately plunged into a boiling pit as she saw grief contort his face into a look of pure pain. Quicker than she could believe, a colder, more neutral look replaced it

"He wasn't around to see it." He said softly, looking at her for a brief moment before he turned and scanned the area for the nearest fast-transit station.

_Oh Ancestors, does he have no one left? Is there anyone that he has cared for who hasn't passed into the beyond? He must feel so . . . alone._ She followed him to the taxi, every fiber of her being calling out to hold him, to embrace him, to drive away his pain. Instead, she clutched her arms tightly to her chest, and wondered what other secrets he hid that were too painful to share.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

"So how was your date Commander?" Joker asked as soon as Shepard and Tali came through the airlock.

"It wasn't a date, Joker." Shepard sighed. "Tali, I'll deal with this lunkhead if you wanna get back down to engineering."

"Thank you, Sp- Shepard." The two shared a smile. "Bye."

"Bye, Tali." Shepard moved to stand behind the pilot and put one hand on his chair.

Joker's eyebrows did a little dance. "Did you two need a minute? I don't wanna get in your way, Shepard. What was she about to call you anyway? Sugar plum? Spumoni? Special boytoy?"

"None of the above, helmsman. And if you want to keep your job, you probably want to stop your current train of thought."

"Ouch. Apparently somebody isn't getting any tonight." Joker looked up and caught the glare from Shepard. "Moving on, if that wasn't a date, I don't know what was. Because I take the ladies out to dinner aaall the time, with no ulterior motives."

"Well, I might believe you if you were ever out of the cockpit. But as far as I can tell, the only lady in your life is your right hand."

"Hey now, that was below the belt." Joker chuckled. "Literally, actually. And don't forget about the Normandy. She's the only girl for me."

"If you say so. She's the only girl who can tolerate you, that's for sure."

"Damn, Shepard. Hate the game, not the player."

"I don't even know what that means, Joker. But on a more serious note, if you're looking for a friend of the female persuasion, why don't you go out and try to find one?"

"Are you kidding me?" Joker scoffed. "You know I live vicariously through you people. Most of the chicks I've wanted to take home tend to get pretty turned off by the sound of snapping bones."

"Huh. Maybe you're bringing home the wrong types of girls. Military girls love the sound of snapping bones." Shepard waited until Joker had turned to look at him. "I know Ashley's single. Want me to put in a good word?"

Joker blanched. "Oh god no. She'd turn me into kindling." He managed to recover his equilibrium. "And besides: if she did that, who'd fly the ship?"

Shepard waved a hand. "I'm sure somebody'd wanna have a go. If not, I reckon I could do it."

Joker doubled over laughing. He managed to choke out an "oh man" and "no way" and "I'm dying here" in between gasps of breath and long rolling laughs. His laughter finally slowed, and he wiped a tear from his eye. "You know I have access to your helmet cams, right?"

"So?"

"So I've seen the way you drive the Mako." The pilot was caught up in another round of laughter. "You'd shear my poor girl in half."

"I haven't broken the Mako." Joker raised an eyebrow at the Commander's protest, causing the warrior to add a sheepish, "Much."

"Uh huh. And the Mako tops out at what, 120 kph? Whereas the Normandy is capable of faster than light travel. We'd all end up spaced, and the Alliance would be left wondering who let the monkey on the bridge."

"You wound me, Joker." Shepard said, faking hurt. "And I thought in this scenario, you'd already been broken up into kindling? So you wouldn't be around to see it anyway."

"You've got a point there." The helmsman acknowledged. "But another explanation is that once Ashley got a piece of all this," he pointed to his body, "she'd never let me leave her bed. Then you'd be out one of your soldiers."

"Uh huh. Well if you're that confident, I'll just have to casually drop her a hint that our peerless pilot wants to get it on. I'll make sure to do that while she's cleaning her rifle, too."

"Yeah, okay, how 'bout not." Joker shivered. "So, we done here? Because I think my feelings are hurt."

"Aw, are you telling me to leave, Joker?"

"Yes. Leave my bridge, Commander."

"Whose bridge?"

Joker sighed. "Your bridge. Now leave."

"I didn't hear the magic wo-ord."

"I take back my comment earlier about your bad mood. Can you lose this good mood, please? It's so freaking annoying." Shepard just stared at him. "Fine. Please leave."

"As you wish." Shepard said with a low bow.

"I doubt it." Joker muttered after his retreating back.

* * *

"Commander. To what do I owe this, ahem, pleasure?" Joker asked when Shepard slid into the co-pilot seat. "I'll have you know that I still haven't recovered from your last verbal assault. So please, keep my fragile ego in mind when you open your mouth."

"Nope. I actually came up here to talk to you about where we're going next."

"You mean we're finally gonna leave the wonderfully joyful environs of the Citadel?"

"Oh, it's not that bad."

"Speak for yourself, Commander. My baby and I haven't gotten a chance to stretch her wings in ages."

"Well, then you should both be happy. Here's a list of some places that have something that needs doing before we get to Noveria. Use your magic navigation skills to plan us out an efficient route." Shepard activated his omni-tool and sent over the information.

"Aw, really? Can't you do it?"

"Nope. One of the perks of being in command is I get to pawn the shitty jobs off on the peons."

"Hey now Shepard, I'm into some weird stuff, but not that weird." Shepard rolled his eyes. "But seriously, can't Pressly do this? He's the XO." Joker continued to moan.

"Nope. Navigation is not one of the XO's duties. Navigation, surprise surprise, is the job of the pilot. And who is that?" Shepard had adopted a patronizing, singsong tone of voice for the last bit.

"Me." Joker sighed and started opening the list of assignments.

"That's right. Does the little man want a cookie?"

"Alright, I said I'd do it. Can you stop with the creepy voice? It's starting to freak me out."

"But why-ee?" Shepard added an extra syllable to the word and forced his voice into a high falsetto.

That drew a shudder from Joker. "Ok, please, stop." He shuddered again. "Anything that needs to get done first or whatever?"

Shepard's voice returned to its usual timbre. "Fine. You're no fun, Joker. I thought you were supposed to have a sense of humor. And no, just make sure we go to Noveria last."

"No, I don't have a sense of humor. The nickname's **ironic**, remember?"

"Oh right. I remember now." Shepard grinned.

Joker, engrossed in his new job, missed the smile. "And you've got me doing this crap. Nobody could have a good time while doing this."

"True enough. So what's the plan?"

"How can you think I'm already done?"

"Because I know you, Joker."

"Sometimes I hate you."

"I know, Joker."

Joker swept his hand across the haptic interface and a large map of the galaxy appeared on the overhead display. "There you go. Hades Gamma, Artemis Tau, Gemini Sigma, Maroon Sea, Kepler Verge, Armstrong Nebula, Argos Rho, Horse Head Nebula. Plotted out to be as snappy as possible. You're welcome." He added mock salute at the end. "Care to tell me what we'll be doing at all these places?"

"Ah, you know. A little fighting, a little shooting, a little talking, and zero lovin'. I hope. You'll be flying, I'll be driving. Same shit, different day."

"Really? Not hoping to get lucky? You might want to tell most of the women onboard then."

"Ha ha ha. Very funny, Joker. I'll keep that in mind." Shepard cracked a genuine smile. "And I think my girlfriend would have something to say about me having sex with anyone who isn't her."

"Ooh, yeah. Girlfriends tend to be the jealous type."

"All the good ones, anyway. Besides, I'm sure Chakwas would have something to say about the issue, too. She always has something to say."

Joker nodded. "But she's usually right."

"I know. That's what makes it so irritating." The two men shared a smile over their overprotective shipboard mother. "Well . . ." He stood up from the seat and stretched a little, wincing. "I'm gonna tell Pressly to check in with all the section heads, make sure we don't leave anybody behind, and whenever he gives you the ok, head on out to the Hades Gamma system. We're looking for the MSV Ontario first."

"Will do, el jefe." Joker said with a wave towards Shepard's retreating back.

Shepard strolled down to the CIC. "Pressly."

The older man turned around and snapped into a salute. "Commander. What do you need?"

Shepard saluted back. "Check in with all the section heads. As soon as we have everybody onboard who's supposed to be here, let Joker know so we can ship out."

"Yes sir."

"Thanks, XO." Shepard turned and walked away.

* * *

"Well that was fun." Joker said upon the team's arrival back onboard.

"Yeah. Real barrel of laughs." Shepard replied, with some sarcasm of his own.

"Yeppers. So, next up?"

Shepard consulted his omni-tool. "Yeah. Take us over to the planet Trebin, in the Antaeus System. I heard there's a survey team that's dropped out of contact."

"Picking up more strays are we?" Joker said with a grin as he piloted the Normandy away from the Ontario.

"Not a fucking chance in hell. It's probably just a communications glitch, some idiot who can't set their radio up the right way. But I figure we can drop in, help them correct their stupidity out of the kindness of our hearts, then see if they don't have anything lying around that they'd like to donate to the cause."

"Ah, I see." Joker nodded. "So we're more of the business-minded Samaritan, rather than the Good Samaritan?"

"Exactly. Somebody's gotta keep us afloat. May as well be those in need."

"That's just all kinds of wrong, Commander." Joker shook his head. "ETA is a shade under three hours. You gonna stay up here the whole time?"

"No. I'm gonna go send a message to Admiral Hackett, thanking him for turning us on to this mess, and politely inquire about the increase in my fee that comes about as a result of his shitty intel."

"You go boy. Shake that Brass down!"

Shepard grunted noncommittally as he walked away, leaving Joker to his work.

_Fuck! Why can't anything ever be simple? That was supposed to be a quick and easy mission. Find the ship; talk the crazy biotic assholes into handing over their hostage, then leave. Instead, they decided not to respond to our hails, which meant I got to suit up, take Garrus and Wrex in there, and break some heads. Christ. I think we wiped out half the L2s in the galaxy that are, make that __**were**__, still functional._

Shepard made it to his cabin, typed out a quick report to Hackett, then leaned back in his chair, thinking. _I probably could have been a bit more thorough with that report, but too fucking bad. He'll get the gist of it. Now I have to decide what I want to do for the next two hours. I really don't even think it's worth getting out of this armor, just to have to put it back on. Speaking of this armor, it's fucking shit. Those goddamn biotics were causing all kinds of havoc. I guess I don't really have a choice but to keep wearing it, but hopefully these scientists will hook us up with some credits. Because at the rate I'm going, I'm gonna have to replace this shit within a month. Fuck._ He looked around the room._ Eh, to hell with it. I'm gonna take a fucking nap._ He set his omni-tool to wake him in 90 minutes, and then rested his chin on his chest and was asleep almost instantly.

* * *

Shepard stepped off the elevator and into the hangar. "Hey, Garrus. You feeling alright?" He asked as he walked towards the turian.

Garrus turned away from the Mako. "Of course, Shepard. Did you really think a tussle with a few biotics could hurt me?"

"Nah. Just checking. Get suited up and hop in." He gestured to the Mako. "We're dropping in ten. I'm gonna go get Tali." He turned for engineering so quickly that he missed Garrus's small smirk. He passed through the doors into engineering and had to physically stop himself from whistling. _What the hell is wrong with me? I'm exhausted, pissed off, and just mowed down a platoon's worth of ex-Alliance soldiers not three hours ago. Why the fuck am I smiling?_ Just then, the source of his happiness came into view.

"Hi Tali!"

"Hello, Shepard. Feeling alright?"

"Of course." Sheppard flexed his arms theatrically and Tali giggled. "You up for a trip in the Mako?"

"Of course." She smiled as she mirrored his answer. "Where are we going?"

"Place called Trebin. There's a survey team planet-side that keeps dropping out of contact. I reckon we can go down there and fix whatever issues they're having, before contacting their sponsor for a sort of 'helper's fee.'"

"I see." Tali said, as they started walking back towards the hangar bay. "Is that a common practice for humans?"

"Not really. But even if the company or corporation isn't feeling particularly generous, the survey team probably has some stuff that they're not using that they wouldn't mind giving us. A lot of these teams usually end up with some junk that they brought along that they didn't end up using. We're just saving them the trouble of bringing it all back home with them."

"Mhmm." Tali grinned up at him. "And how valuable are these materials?"

"Well ya see, it depends." Shepard gave her a grin of his own. "Worst case scenario, a few hundred credits. Best case scenario, a few thousand."

"Then I hope it's the latter, Shepard."

"Me too, Tali." They had reached her locker, and she started going through her supplies. "Alright, I'll leave you to it. Meet us in the Mako when you're done."

"Okay."

Shepard walked over to the Mako and hopped in. "S'up Garrus."

"S'up, Commander?" Garrus gave the human yet another confused look.

"A bit of late 20th century human lingo. It's an informal greeting. Like 'hey' or 'how's it going.'"

"I see. Then, 's'up,' Shepard?"

Shepard chuckled. That's good, Garrus. You ever want some more human idioms, you let me know. I'll hook you up."

"Thanks for the offer, Shepard. Would you mind if I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You seem to use a lot of words that aren't in the translator. Ka-peesh, keelhaul, s'up, among others. Are these flaws in the translator?"

Shepard laughed, and then stopped suddenly. "Wait, I've never said anything about keelhauling to you."

"I know. I was talking to Joker while we were on the Citadel and he mentioned it."

"Oh. I guess that makes sense." He thought back to Garrus's earlier question. "As for the other thing about the translator, no. It's not a problem with your translator. They're just not very common words. I've never met anybody else who uses them, so I guess I shouldn't expect translators to be set up to handle them."

"Hm." Garrus was silent for a moment, before he decided to press Shepard a little harder. "Then can I ask you something else?"

"Of course."

"If those words are uncommon, then how do you know them?"

"You calling me stupid, Garrus?" Shepard asked with a smile.

"No! That wasn't what I meant." Garrus scrambled for a way to make his meaning clear.

Shepard patted his turian friend on the back. "Relax, buddy. I'm just yankin' your chain."

"Oh! You should make that clearer next time."

"I smiled while I said it. What more do you want?" Garrus shrugged in response. "Anyway, back to your question. A lot of people think that us guys that fight in the dirt are dumb. I can't speak for anybody else, but I did a lot of reading when I was younger. There wasn't any one type of book or anything, I just liked to read. I have less time for it now, but I still enjoy firing up a book and relaxing when I get a chance on leave."

"That answers my question, Shepard. Thank you."

"No problem. I'm always happy to talk. On a side note, you really should try lightening up. Joke around a little and shit. Not be so serious all the time, ya know?"

"I will take that under advisement, Commander."

"Alrighty then. Now where the hell is-" He was interrupted as Tali walked in the back. "Tali! About time. You ready to provide some on-site tech support?"

"Yes, Shepard." She laughed a little.

"Good." Sheppard closed the back hatch, and then activated the intercom. "Where we at, Joker?"

"Drop in two, Commander."

"Thanks. See you when we get back."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

Shepard rubbed his eyes as he caught the elevator down to the cargo bay, for what felt like the hundredth time in the last two weeks. _God damn we need a break! Well, alright, maybe __**I'm**__ the only one who wants a break, but still. I'm tired as fuck. We've been engaging hostiles practically every shittin' day!_ The elevator door opened, and he stepped out. He walked quietly over to where Garrus stood tinkering with the Mako. "Jeez, Garrus, are you ever not working on this thing?"

Garrus turned around and his mandibles twitched in amusement. "Not as it stands now. Maybe if you stopped trying to drive through obstacles and up and down sheer cliffs, I would have a little free time." _I have never seen anyone abuse a vehicle the way Shepard abuses this Mako. I am constantly amazed that it still works._

"Blech. Where's the fun in that?" Shepard grinned briefly, but it was quickly overcome seriousness. "Suit up, Garrus."

"Okay." _I wonder where we're going this time. I don't know how he continues to keep going, day after day. I feel worn out, and all I've done is fight when he tells me to. He must have had phenomenal training in the ICT program._ Garrus stopped halfway to his locker when he realized that Shepard was following him. "Aren't you going to go get Tali?"

"Not for this one, Garrus." Shepard looked the turian square in the eyes. "From what you told me, this one's personal."

Recognition flashed across Garrus's face, before it froze into a look of pure rage. _Saleon. I finally get a chance to finish what he started. Pray to whatever deity you honor, Saleon, because I will be sending you to meet them._ "You're right, Commander. Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet." Shepard watched the turian lock his sniper rifle into its hardpoint and stand up. "You ready?"

"Yes." Garrus took two steps forward, then stopped and turned back to Shepard. "Which way?"

Shepard nodded towards the elevator. "We found the ship. It's not responding to our radio calls, and it doesn't look like it's made planetfall recently either. All escape pods are still in place, too."

"Good." Garrus strode over to the elevator, and then hit the button to take it upwards the second that Shepard crossed the threshold.

"So what's the plan?" Shepard asked, breaking the silence.

"Plan?" Garrus was suddenly confused. _Why is he asking me for the plan? What's going on?_

"Yeah. You know, are we just going in there guns blazing, killing everything that moves? Are we sneaking around 'til we find him? Are we just blowing up the ship?"

"You usually come up with the plan." The turian pointed out. _You are the Commanding Officer. This is your job! Perhaps the stress __**is**__ starting to get to him._

"I know. But it's your op, so it's your rules. How do you want to do it?"

"Oh." Garrus was quiet for a few seconds. _I did not expect that. No turian commander would ever allow a subordinate to take charge of an operation like this. Yet another example of how being on the Normandy is like nothing I've ever experienced before. Regardless, I should show him that I am capable of the trust he's placing in me._ "Rules of engagement are not to fire unless fired upon. Rescue patients if possible, but deactivate the escape pods as soon as we get onboard. Oh, and Shepard?"

"Yeah?"

"I take the shot." _I will be the one to end his life. He escaped me once, and it will not happen again._

"Got it."

The elevator finally stopped, and the doors opened. The two men walked out and headed up to the bridge side-by-side. Garrus turned towards the airlock, but Shepard kept going.

"Joker."

"Yeah Commander?"

"Hold position here. If anybody asks, a friend of Garrus's needed to give him something, and as a favor to Garrus, we stopped en route to our next destination. If any escape pods try to leave, disable them if possible, destroy them if necessary. Understood?"

"Gotcha."

"Good." Shepard turned and walked back to Garrus. Together they waited for the airlock to cycle. "Garrus."

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Deactivate your helmet cam. I'm doing the same." Practically in unison, the two warriors disabled the cameras.

"Uh, Commander?" Joker's voice came over the shipboard intercom. "I just lost your helmet feed."

"I know. We're going dark on this one. Comms blackout. As soon as the airlock closes behind us, pull away from the Fedele. We'll re-establish communications when we're ready for pick-up."

"Aye aye."

The two men stepped over into the darkened freighter, and Shepard immediately turned towards an access panel. He worked in silence for a few minutes, before standing up and turning to Garrus. "Alright. Airlock is sealed, so nobody's getting out this way unless they're with me. Escape pods are also shutdown. Weapons out?"

Garrus nodded, and together they pulled out their preferred close-quarters weapons. _Good. There's no escape for you now, Saleon. There's nowhere for you to run to this time!_ Garrus nestled the stock of his AR into his shoulder, and Shepard straightened his pistol out in front of him. "I'll take point." Garrus said over their private radio channel. _Now it becomes a simple process. We clear each section individually until we find that son of a bitch. I think that idiom is something Shepard would say. And when we find him, __**I**__ kill him._

Shepard nodded and followed the turian out into the hallway. They moved slowly through the back half of the ship, clearing each room but finding little of value. As soon as they entered the central cargo bay, their motion detectors exploded into a mess of activity. "I'm picking up lots of contacts, Garrus."

"I am too, Commander. Approximately twelve, by my count." _If only there was a way to know if they were hostile from here. We could just toss a half-dozen grenades into the room and clear it without ever firing a shot. Unfortunately, these could be patients or hostages. We don't have a choice but to expose ourselves to fire._

"I agree. Wanna go find out if they're hostile?"

Garrus nodded as a grim smile slid across his face. _I am lucky to have a commanding officer like Shepard. I'm given control of an operation, and I perform well enough that he can practically read my mind._ "Yes. Yes I do."

They went to either side of a large stack of crates. The sight that greeted them was beyond the pale of Garrus's worst nightmares. Twisted, horrible-looking bipeds started shambling toward the two of them, moaning and waving their arms. The monstrous creatures' bodies were covered with weird, glowing growths of tissue, and many were missing fingers, hands, or arms. Several of them appeared to have had their skin replaced with some sort of cybernetic mesh, which crackled and sparked. The eyes were the worst part. As Garrus looked into those haunted, dead eyes, he knew one thing. That look, in the eyes of those test subjects (for that, he realized belatedly, was what they were), would torture his dreams for as long as he lived.

The turian and the human opened fire, putting the pitiable beasts out of their misery in short order. In what seemed like no time at all, corpses, many of which had been exploded or ripped open, surrounded them. Shepard poked one with the toe of his boot. "God. Look at that. It looks like it used to be human, but now it's as if all of its organs turned cancerous and started replicating. Fucking gross."

Garrus nodded mutely. _I let this happen. I let him escape. All of these deaths. All of these innocent people died. And it's all my fault. I will never be able to atone for all of the death that now lies at my feet._

Shepard looked over at his friend, and recognized the look on his face. "Let's go kill this sick fuck, shall we?"

Garrus nodded again, more forcefully. _There's nothing you can do for the dead. You can only avenge them. We just have to find Saleon, and then I can make it happen._ He took the lead and together they started clearing the rest of the ship, finding nothing else with a pulse. Finally, there was only one room left. The two stacked up outside the door, and then Shepard slammed the haptic interface and moved in, dropping low to stay out of Garrus's firing lane. They decapitated the last two test subjects with a precise application of overwhelming force. That done, both men stood up and stared at the normal-looking salarian who cowered in front of them.

"Thank you. Thank-" The salarian started to speak, before Shepard cut across him.

"This him, Garrus?"

"Oh yeah." Garrus growled, low in his throat. _Now I've got you, you bastard._ "That's Dr. Saleon. Or should I say, Dr. Heart?"

"Real fucking funny with the name, asshole." Shepard ground at the salarian.

"What? No, I don't know any Dr. Saleon."

"Shove it, dickwad." Shepard said, pointing his pistol at the salarian. "What do you wanna do now, Garrus?"

"I want to end him." _I want to inflict upon him the same tortures that he inflicted upon his victims. I don't know that Shepard will want to stay here for the several hours that will take, but Saleon needs to suffer._

Shepard nodded. "Not a bad idea. He fucking deserves it, that's for sure. But may I make another suggestion?" Garrus nodded. "We bring him in. I see a computer terminal in the back of the room; there's gotta be a shitton of evidence on there. We grab that, hogtie this fucking bastard, and drop him off at C-Sec the next time we're there."

"But why?" Garrus asked, astounded. "We could kill him right here, and be done with it." _I could spend the next hour putting bullets into non-vital places, until he begged for mercy. Then, I could finish him. I could watch the life drain out of him and puddle up on the floor. I could watch the light leave his eyes. I __**want**__ to watch that happen!_

"We could. However, there are two reasons why we shouldn't. First, sometimes doing what is easy isn't always doing what's right, ya dig? But more importantly, if we do this, we can drop a line to that Wong chick, she'll do a story about catching the fucking 'salarian butcher' or some shit, and it'll be you that got him. You would have done it by the book, and everybody would know it. I think I'm correct that there's someone who would appreciate you doing it that way." He looked pointedly at Garrus.

Garrus was quiet for a long moment. _I had forgotten about Father. I had forgotten that I used to work for C-Sec. All I cared about was killing Saleon. Was I really that blinded by anger?_ Then he looked back at Saleon. _Yes. Yes, I was completely overcome by anger. I wanted this one salarian dead, at the cost of everything else. I can only imagine what Father would say if he ever found out that I murdered a man in cold blood, purely for "vengeance." Shepard's right. I am still a C-Sec officer. I should still uphold the rule of law._ "You're right, Commander. You! Saleon! Turn around, get on your knees, and put your hands on the back of your head."

"What? No! I'm not Saleon, I'm Heart!" The salarian spluttered.

"Now!" Garrus roared, his voice echoing around the small room.

"No!" The salarian shrieked. "You'll never take me alive!" He pulled out a pistol and aimed it at Shepard. He managed to pull the trigger once, before a long burst from Garrus ripped through his body.

"Sorry." The turian was downcast.

"What for?" Shepard cocked an eyebrow at his friend.

"I should have been faster. If your shields weren't up, you would have been injured." Garrus was still staring down at Saleon's lifeless body.

"Bitch please." Garrus's eyes flicked over to Shepard, but then immediately returned to the dead salarian. "If that moron **actually** posed a threat to me, I woulda put two in his chest and one in his face before he could so much as **wish** to have a gun in his hand."

"As you say, Commander."

"Garrus, look at me." When the turian didn't move, Shepard tried again. "Garrus!" This time his voice carried that note of authority that compels soldiers to respond, no matter their state of mind.

The turian's head immediately snapped up. "Commander?" He said crisply.

"Why are you staring at him? He's dead. You made damn sure of that. So what's the deal?"

Garrus's eyes went back to the body. _How can he ask what the problem is? Doesn't he understand that I killed him? I was supposed to bring him in for a trial and make him answer for his crimes. Instead, I let my anger get the better of me, and then I killed him. I wanted him to resist, because it would give me a second chance to exterminate him like the rodent he was. So why did Shepard speak up? What gain did we get from offering him a chance to surrender?_ Shepard let the turian think for a few minutes, and just as he was preparing to yell at him again, the turian looked back up.

"What was it all for, Commander?"

Shepard took a step closer and put a hand on his friend's shoulder. "What do you mean, Garrus?"

"I mean, you gave him a chance to surrender. You spared his life. Yet we killed him anyway. So what was the point?"

"The point?" Shepard chuckled darkly. "The point is that you're not a cold-blooded killer. The point is that we gave him a choice, and he made it. The point is that we can control our own actions, but not the actions of others." He stopped speaking and stared hard at the turian. "Do you understand, Garrus?"

The turian stood stock still for what felt like ages. _I think I understand, Shepard. How can you, a human, who hates turians according to rumor, possibly be showing __**me**__ what it really means to be a turian? We are not defined by the actions of others; we define ourselves with our choices. What matters is what __**I **__decide to do. We are not murderers. We do what is necessary, what benefits us all. Taking Saleon into custody was the right decision. Nevertheless, when he threatened my commanding officer, my duty was clear. Shepard must survive._ Finally, he spoke. "Yes, Shepard. Thank you." _Thank you, more than I can ever communicate to you._

"You're welcome." Shepard smiled and punched the turian lightly in the arm. "Let's get back to the Normandy, shall we? I think there may be a hidden stash of some alcohol somewhere that we can get into."

Garrus let just a hint of a smile cross his face. "That's the best idea I've heard in a long time, Shepard." _What would Father say? First it takes a human to remind me of how to be a turian, and now I'm going to go drink with that human until I can't stand up. I'm certain he would be incredibly disappointed. Right now, though, I don't care._

"Glad to oblige. Let's go." Together, they turned and made their way back to the Normandy.

A half-hour later, Garrus knocked on the door to Shepard's cabin.

"Enter!" Rang out the Commander's voice.

Garrus passed through the door, and pulled two glasses out from behind his back.

"Garrus! Coming through with the goods!" Shepard motioned to the door. "Hit the lock, would you?"

Garrus tapped the interface with an elbow, and the door locked itself behind him. "I brought the glasses, but where's the alcohol?" He looked around at the cabin, looking for some indication of a bottle. _If you got my hopes up, only to dash them against the ground, we will be having a very loud, and likely very physical, argument._

"I was just waiting to make sure it was you. Didn't want Pressly or Williams coming in here and seeing me with booze. It's against regs."

"Hm. Maybe someday we can trade stories about shipboard regulations." _Yes. Perhaps someday. But that day is not today._ "Right now, however, I would very much like to see some turian whiskey."

"Ah. Well. About that." Shepard got up from his chair and moved over to his bed. "I don't really know what kind of turian liquor this is, so don't get too excited about gettin' some whiskey." He reached into his pillowcase and pulled out one bottle full of blue liquid and one full of amber liquid. He handed the blue bottle over to Garrus. "There you go. Whatever it is, the guy said it was highly alcoholic."

Garrus took the bottle and examined it. _Ha ha ha ha ha. Trust Shepard to find the cheapest, most alcoholic liquor available outside of turian space._ "It's a low grade alcohol called "Hwoon Danh." It is renowned for getting turians absolutely, what would you humans say?"

"Shit-faced?" Sheppard volunteered.

"Yes. Exactly." Garrus nodded and unscrewed the top of his bottle. _And "shit-faced" is a state of mind I would like to see. As soon as possible._

"Hey Garrus?" Shepard asked.

"What?"

"Does 'hwoon danh' mean anything? Like maybe, 'prepare to puke your guts out?'"

Garrus thought for a minute. _That's not a bad description, although why any company would name their product that is beyond me. Oh, he was being funny. I understand. There definitely isn't a direct translation though._ "I think the best translation would be close to 'jerk?' Most likely, because whoever bought it for you probably is one."

Shepard plastered a fake grimace on his face. "You wound me, Garrus. But that makes a certain amount of sense. Alright, that's enough of the talking, let's drink!"

"Finally!" _It still tastes just as bad as I remember. I hope Shepard doesn't have any plans for the rest of the night. I won't be leaving this chair until tomorrow morning, at the earliest._ Together, they grabbed their bottles, tapped the tops together, and then took long, deep draughts.

Shepard smiled and licked his lips. "Now that's what I'm talkin' about." Garrus nodded his agreement, and then went back for more.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Shouts of "Commander!" "Shepard!" and "Skipper!" woke Shepard the next day. He sat up groggily, rubbing his head. _Fucking hell. I can hear you yelling, for the love of god please stop pounding on the door._ He looked around and saw Garrus slumped over onto the table. Both of the once-full bottles of alcohol were empty and laying atop the table right next to the turian. _Christ._ Shepard chuckled twice. _We really tied one on last night. I suppose I can understand why the crew's trying to break down the door._ He stood up, and then winced as the room spun. Placing one hand on his desk to steady himself, he slowly made his way over to the door.

Shepard hit the haptic interface and leaned on the doorframe as soon as it opened. "Hey guys, where's the fire?" In response, Doctor Chakwas, Kaidan, and Ashley all started talking at once.

"Commander, have you seen Garrus? We were supposed to go over some adjustments to the Mako's suspension this morning, but he didn't show up. It's not like him to no-show. I asked around, but no one else has seen him either." Kaidan kept nervously glancing back over his shoulder, as though Garrus was going to magically appear from the elevator.

"Shepard, your eyes are bloodshot. Have you been drinking?" Doctor Chakwas's voice was stern, as was her norm whenever she was talking to the commanding officer.

"Skipper!" Ashley let out a huge sigh of relief. "I haven't seen you all day, and I was starting to get worried. You don't sleep in!" She took a step closer to Shepard, eager to help in whatever way she could.

"Ach. Easy, you guys." Shepard rubbed his temple where his painful headache had turned into a debilitating migraine as a result of their cacophonous assault. _For fuck's sake, shut the fuck up. Your yammering makes me want to kill myself._ "One at a time, please." He pointed to Kaidan. "You first, and no need to yell."

"Right." Kaidan nodded. "I'm worried about Garrus, Commander. He isn't one to shirk his responsibilities, but he was nowhere to be seen this morning at the Mako. I even checked inside."

Ashley scoffed. "What can you expect from a turian?" She mumbled under her breath.

Shepard, despite his condition, caught her words. "Stow it, Ashley. Another comment like that and I throw you in the nearest escape pod and hit the eject button." He turned back to Kaidan. _Now what the fuck am I gonna say about why Garrus is passed the fuck out on my table? I'd probably have a much better explanation if my goddamn brain wasn't trying to leak out through my ears._ "As far as Garrus goes, he was unavailable because of me. I asked him to go over some mission reports and tactical maneuvers with me last night. We got a bit carried away, and we both ended up asleep at my table." _Not the whole truth, but damn good for the size of the hangover I'm suffering from._ He turned to Chakwas who was standing in the middle. "Doc?"

"Were you drinking, Shepard?" She asked, carefully examining his puffy face and bloodshot eyes.

"Of course not." _She may piss me off at times, but I gotta give the doc some credit. She goes right for the jugular._ Shepard mustered a smile. "Drinking on the ship is against regs. Like I told Kaidan, we were working late into the night." He saw her continue to examine his face. "And if I look like hell, it's because sleeping face down on a table does shit for your complexion. Not the most restful night of sleep I've ever had, that's for goddamn sure." _And that's not even a lie._ Before the good doctor could respond, he turned to Ashley. "Ash?"

"I was just really worried, Skipper." Her arm twitched out towards him, but was quickly reigned in and held immobile at her side. "I'm used to seeing you down in the cargo bay bright and early, working out. Not seeing you was just a big surprise, is all."

"Sure. Understandable." _A little over the top, given that she's seen me get shot, punched, and otherwise bodily abused during her time onboard. But I guess I appreciate the sentiment. Now if she could just shut up about the alien bullshit, she'd be tolerable 24/7._ "But after last night's cramming session, I just couldn't do the bright and early shit today. We've been going non-stop for the last two weeks, and I needed a bit of a lie-in. Maybe not the most professional thing, but I'm no use to anybody if I'm falling asleep in the field."

Ashley nodded, as did Kaidan. Chakwas continued to stare at Shepard with narrowed eyes. "That may be true, but then where is Garrus?" She asked.

"That's easy. He's still in his chair. We were up late discussing tactics, like I said, and he's still sleeping. Like I would be, if you all hadn'ta woken me up." _And like I quite possibly may be doing again as soon as you people leave me the fuck alone._

"We were just worried, Skipper." This time, it was Ashley who spoke. "I'm- well, we're, glad that you're alright."

"And Garrus too." Kaidan added.

Chakwas added her own two cents. "Yes, Commander. We hope to see both you and Garrus up and among us in the very near future."

"I can practically guarantee it." Shepard smiled. _Wait, where the hell's Joker?_ "And I coulda sworn I heard Joker's voice when I was waking up. Where is he?"

"I'm up here, Commander." Joker's voice came out of the intercom in Shepard's cabin. "You're not that important, Shepard. I could hardly leave my baby alone just to come look for you."

Shepard laughed. "Alright, Joker. Since I've got you on the horn, what's our ETA to the Armstrong Nebula?"

"Four hours. More, depending on if you want to get to the other side of the Cluster."

"Nope. Just start at the first system. Keep your eyes and ears peeled for any sign of the geth. You get so much as a whiff of their chattering little asses; I want to know about it ASAP. You read me?"

"Aye aye, el capitano. Er, I mean, el commandero. Shit, that doesn't sound right." Joker continued to mutter to himself as he deactivated the intercom.

Shepard turned back to the three people in front of him. "As for you three, I thank you all for your support. Now if you don't mind, I'm gonna go check on Garrus and then grab a shower." He turned around without another word, and disappeared into his cabin. The door closed, and the haptic interface ticked red.

"I suppose that means we're dismissed." Alenko said to Ashley. She shrugged back in response.

Doctor Chakwas walked away mumbling, while the two marines headed back towards the elevator.

Inside the cabin, Shepard walked back to where Garrus still sat, with his face buried in the table and his arms stretched out across it to the other side. Shepard reached out and tapped Garrus on the shoulder. "Garrus. Hey, buddy, wake up." The turian stirred feebly. Shepard pressed harder. "Garrus, get up. Dude, get off my table." The turian growled quietly, but otherwise did not respond.

_God damn! What the hell was in that hwoon danh shit he was drinking? He really needs to get to his duty station before more crewmembers start asking questions._ Shepard suddenly chuckled. _I can just imagine the rumors. "Shepard's having gay sex with the turian!" "Shepard's gay!" "Shepard's a xenophile!" Although to be fair, thinking about some of the incredibly sexy female aliens I've met, to say nothing of the two on board the Normandy, that last one probably wouldn't be far off the mark. But I really don't need that kind of hassle._

Shepard grabbed Garrus roughly by the shoulder and shook him. "Garrus, wake the hell up!" In an instant, the turian awoke from his slumber and assumed a crouched, predatory position. His right hand shot out towards Shepard, talons outstretched and looking to draw blood. Shepard stepped in towards the strike and grabbed Garrus's outstretched arm with his left. _Holy fuck! What the hell is Garrus doing? Is this the part where he turns on me and tries to kill me? Maybe he's just out of it. Who knows what fucking shit they put in that turian booze._ He shifted his grip down to the turian's wrist, and used his free hand to slap his friend's face.

Instantly, Garrus's eyes focused on Shepard. "Commander?"

"Good to see you again, Garrus." Shepard smiled. "How you feelin' today?"

"Like you ran me over with the Mako a few dozen times." Garrus dragged one hand over his sore cheek. "Um, why did you slap me? And why are you holding my hand?"

"Technically I'm holding your wrist." _Always fun to be pedantic in the morning. And apparently, he wasn't trying to execute some sort of secret assassination plan. He was just out of it. Can't say I fucking blame him._ "And the only reason I'm doing that is because you tried to gut me with that hand. Coincidentally, that also answers your other question. I slapped you in the fucking face because I wanted to see if you were just having trouble coming out of your liquor-induced stupor. I was really hoping to not have to kill you."

Garrus snatched his hand back. "Spirits help me! I didn't mean for that to happen. It must have been the hwoon danh. I haven't had that much to drink since I was a recruit."

"Oh? Do turians haze?"

Garrus took a second to let his translator work that one out. "Yes we do, Shepard." His face turned crestfallen. "I apologize for my actions. I have no excuse."

Shepard sighed. "God damn it, Garrus, I don't give a shit!" This caused the turian to start, and look up. "Look, you need to lighten the fuck up. If you keep worrying about every little thing that goes wrong, or every little mistake you make, you're gonna end up giving yourself a fucking stroke, or heart attack, or whatever the hell the equivalents to those things are for turians. Seriously. Shit goes wrong, and we fuck up. It happens. If you beat yourself up over it, you're never gonna get anywhere. You understand me, Mr. Vakarian?" Shepard fixed his friend with a hard glare. _And now my head feels even worse. Thanks a lot, Mr. Grumpy Garrus._

"I understand, Shepard. And thank you again, for everything." At Shepard's quirked eyebrow, Garrus continued. "You didn't have to help me with Dr. Saleon, but you did. You helped to make me realize that the right thing to do was to try to bring him in to the Citadel. You even gave me a way to forget my troubles for a time. And you keep trying to give me advice. So, thank you."

"You're welcome, Garrus." Shepard smiled. "And if half of what I remember from last night is right, we're in this together. Brothers in arms or something similar, right?"

"Definitely." Garrus offered his hand to Shepard who shook it, looking surprised. "I should go get cleaned up. I'll see you later."

Shepard let Garrus see himself out, and then grinned at the closed door. _I may just make a man outta Garrus yet. His skills are impressive, but he needs to get a little more confidence. If I can help him get there, and get him not to take everything so seriously, he's gonna be a hell of a leader someday. C-Sec or the turian military or wherever the hell he ends up are gonna be damn fucking lucky to have him._

* * *

Shepard made his way up to the bridge. _Whoever invented the shower is a fucking god. My head still hurts like shit, but at least I can fucking move again._ "Hey Joker. How we doin'?"

"Not too bad, Commander. Nice cover this morning, by the way." The pilot grinned up at his C.O.

"I have no idea what you're talking about, helmsman." Shepard refused to look down at the diminutive man.

"Uh huh. You do remember that the intercom runs throughout the whole ship, right?"

"Were you spying on me, Joker?"

"Of course not. I am an Alliance pilot, and as such would never think to spy on my Commanding Officer." Joker laughed. "If, however, I thought I heard said Commanding Officer requesting my assistance, I would of course be obligated to open up a channel to his quarters. And man, was it worth it."

"Spin it however you like, Joker." Sheppard cracked a grin. "You're still a devious little man. But if I catch you spying on me again, we will be exchanging words." Shepard's grin disappeared. "And I tend to prefer non-verbal means of communication." He cracked his knuckles menacingly.

Joker swallowed hard. "Sheesh. Lighten up, Commander."

Shepard chuckled. "Ya know, I said something just like that to Garrus earlier."

"Yeah, I heard. Maybe you should take your own advice."

Shepard patted his pilot on the shoulder. "I will, Joker. It's just been a rough couple of days." Joker stared incredulously up at him. "Alright, maybe it's been a tough couple of weeks." _Yeah, that just might be the understatement of the fucking year._ "Either way, we'll get some downtime eventually. Next time we're back on the Citadel I'm making everybody take at least 24 hours of R&R." _And that's gonna include me. I might just sit in my cabin and get Chakwas to dose me with something to keep me out for the whole 24 hours. God damn, that sounds pretty fucking amazing right now._

"Sounds good to me, Commander!"

"Somehow I knew it would." Shepard chuckled. "ETA?"

"A shade under two hours."

"Alright. I'll be in my cabin until we get there." _Fucking mission reports. Worst fucking part of this job. Fucking bullshit. They should have, like, voice reports or something, where we just talk about how the mission went, record that shit, then send it in. Instead, we're stuck using some anachronistic relic of the 19__th__ fucking century or some shit. Fuck. I guess complaining isn't gonna make them go away._ Without another word to his pilot, he turned and left.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

Shepard and his team spent the next week clearing out the Armstrong Nebula. Joker would take them into a system with the Normandy in full stealth mode, and scan for geth. Any geth signals were traced back to their point of origin, at which Tali, Shepard, and Garrus would hop in the Mako, drop to the surface, and eliminate any geth they found. Then the team would return to the Normandy, rinse, and repeat. After Mako had returned from clearing the last star system and downloading a bunch of data about the geth, Shepard sat in his cabin and worked on putting together a mission report for the collection of skirmishes they had fought.

A knock on the door pulled him away from trying to find a new way to say, "We shot the geth. Again." for the dozenth time. "Enter!" He yelled out. _And please be something life threatening or incredibly important that absolutely must be dealt with right now._ A moment later, his door slid open to reveal his favorite purple-suited engineer. "Tali! Whatcha need?" _Not exactly an emergency, but so much better! Only thing that could improve this situation would be if she wasn't wearing that damn suit. No, wait, shit, that's inappropriate. Down boy!_

"Commander. May I come in?"

Shepard frowned when he heard her use his rank. _What the fuck? She doesn't use my rank anymore. Hell, she's had to catch herself from saying Spike the last few days when it was just me, her, and Garrus riding around in the Mako. Actually, why haven't I told Garrus to start calling me Spike as well? I gotta remember to do that next time he's in here bullshitting with me._ "Of course, Tali." She took a few tentative steps inside. "And it's Spike, now, remember?"

She nodded mutely and took the seat across from him. He sat there and watched her, waiting for her to speak. _Alright, so her hands are doing that cute little tap-dance across her stomach, her feet are bouncing like crazy, and she won't look at me. She didn't even respond when I reminded her that she could call me Spike. Something's up, and if she doesn't start talking in another few minutes, I'm gonna do something drastic. Don't know what it is yet, but it'll be drastic. Yeah, definitely drastic. Maybe do a little cha-cha in just my skivvies? No, I wanna get her attention, not scare her off._

A brief wait later, and before Shepard could come up with a suitably drastic measure, Tali spoke. "Commander, I need to talk to you about something."

"Always." _Uh oh. I've never had a good conversation that started with "I need to talk to you about something." Two break-ups, a next-of-kin notification, and that civilian doc on Elysium. Shit._

"When we were on that last planet, we discovered what appeared to be the geth's base of operations in this cluster."

"I know, Tali. I was there, remember?"

This failed to get the hoped-for smile from his teammate. Instead, her hands tightened on her stomach and Shepard saw her whole body tighten for a brief moment. _Seriously, Tali, come on! Give me something! I'm going outta my damn mind over here, since I can't read yours._

"While we were there you downloaded quite a lot of data from their servers." Shepard merely nodded, waiting for her to continue. "I have to ask you for a favor, Shepard."

_I guess "Shepard" is better than "Commander," but it's still not what I want to hear. I've gotten addicted or something to hearing her say my name. Hah. Say my name. Maybe if I started singing that to her she'd unfreeze a little and tell me what's got her panties in a twist. Hmm, I wonder if she wears panties. She has to, right? Unless every quarian is running around commando. Ha, that's kinda funny to think about. Wait, what was I thinking about? Oh yeah. Why is she so uptight all of a sudden? I swear to all that's holy, if somebody's causing trouble for her onboard they'll be getting a lesson in "manners" that'd make Gunny McIntyre proud._

Tali took a deep breath, oblivious to the rambling thoughts of her team leader. Finally, she spoke again. "I would like to ask you for a copy of the data you captured from the geth. It could be the key to my people taking back our home world."

_You're a real piece of work, you know that Spike? Did you never think to ask that maybe she'd like to send some of that geth crap home, so her people could protect themselves from the geth? Maybe you could actually try and think about someone other than yourself for once, eh Spike?_ "Technically, Tali, Alliance regulations are crystal clear about not allowing captured enemy data to be seen by anyone outside of the immediate chain of command."

"I understand, Shepard." She said sadly and started to rise from her chair.

Shepard's hand shot out and grabbed her arm, which he used to pull her forcefully back into her seat. "No, I really don't think you do. Here's a hint: usually, when I say 'technically,' it means that I'm about to do something completely different." _For example, technically fraternization is against regulations but if you weren't in that suit I'll be damned if I wouldn't be making pass after pass after you. Yeah, I probably shouldn't say that out loud. If for no other reason than that I have a girlfriend. Plus, it would probably creep Tali right the hell out._

For the first time since she had entered his cabin, Tali looked up and met his eyes. _Keelah! Does that mean he's going to give me a copy of that data? This could be the best Pilgrimage Gift in a hundred years! I'm so happy I could kiss him! Well, if I wasn't stuck inside a protective environment. And if he could see me as a young, attractive woman and not a little girl. Ancestors, I wish he looked at me the way I look at him._ She sighed inwardly, not allowing him to see her consternation. _Curse this suit!_

"Thus, here you go." While she had been staring at her hands, engrossed in her own internal monologue, Shepard had directed his omni-tool to create a copy of the geth data on an OSD. He tossed the small disc over to her.

She caught it clumsily, and just stared at it for a moment. Eventually, she slipped it into one of the pockets on her suit. _Thank you Ancestors for this gift. Not only have you made me your messenger for this data, which could save our people, but you also gave me Shepard. Without him, I don't know where I'd be. Likely dead. But I know that I wouldn't be this happy._ In a sudden burst of movement and divine inspiration, she got up and moved around the table to him.

Startled, Shepard reacted on instinct and started to stand up. His attempted escape, however, was defeated when she forced him back down into his chair with her sudden hug. The strength of her friendly attack pinned him against the back of his chair, and her arms clenched tightly around his shoulders. After a brief second of shock, Shepard moved his arms around her and hugged her back. Their combined strengths drew them closer together, but Shepard's greater mass kept him stationary. Instead, Tali found herself suddenly straddling her commander, with her body settled squarely on his lap and her helmet buried in the crook of his neck.

"Thank you, Spike." She managed to squeak out, despite the tears running down her face and the tightness with which he held her. _This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. I am so lucky that he was the one who found me that day in the Wards. I will never forget his kindness, no matter what happens. I only wish I could give him a sixth of the happiness he gives to me. I hope his girlfriend appreciates the amazing, wonderful, talented, caring man that she has. If she doesn't, she doesn't deserve him._

"You're welcome, Tal." Shepard said with a grin, but then was shocked to hear the quiet sniffles that indicated, to him at least, that Tali was crying. "Oh h- Tali, what's wrong -?" _Aaaand that's not good. I can't believe I almost just called her honey! What the hell is wrong with you dude? Get it together before you do something you'll regret._

"Nothing's wrong, Spike." She answered, her voice muffled by his shoulder. "I'm just so happy. You've made me incredibly happy. You're wonderful." She stiffened suddenly. _Keelah, why did I just say that? I can't say that to him. What if he figures out that the way that I feel about him? But how could he do that, when I'm not entirely sure what I feel about him? I know that I want to spend hours undressing him with my eyes and my hands and then exploring every inch of his body, but what does that mean? What if he makes me leave the ship because I've made him uncomfortable? Oh Ancestors, please don't make me leave him._

To her surprise, Shepard chuckled. "Yeah, I get that a lot. What can I say? I'm a one-man wrecking crew." _To be brutally honest, I much prefer it when women say I'm wonderful after a night of wild crazy monkey sex, but with Tali, I'll take what I can get._ A sudden, sobering realization hit him. His smile quickly turned to a frown, and Tali felt an odd, unidentifiable current run through his body. "So I guess this is good-bye?" From his voice, she would have thought that someone had just died.

"What? No. Why would it be that? No!" _Why would he say that? Why does he want me to leave? Did I . . . what's the human word? Jinky? No. Jinx. Yes, that's it. Did I jinx myself? Why did I have to think about leaving?_

"Well, you said that you were sent out on your Pilgrimage to find a gift to bring back to your people, something that proves that you won't be a drain on resources." He missed her smile when he said this, as it reaffirmed to her that he really did pay attention. "And now you have yours. So I guess there's really no reason for you to stay with us anymore."

_He looks like someone just made him watch while they killed his izdengar. Don't worry, Spike. I won't leave you yet. Not while you're still fighting Saren. I told you I'd stay, and I will. Plus, staying lets me keep watching you- I mean, watching over you. Keelah, what's wrong with me?_ "I have many reasons to stay, Spike. Not the least of which is that I promised you I'd help fight Saren. I don't go back on my promises."

A wide smile lit up Shepard's face, which drew a smile from her in response. _That's great to hear. I don't know why, but the very idea of her leaving makes me feel absolutely terrible._ As he looked over his situation again, a twinkle of mischief flared in his eye. _I've gotta say, she feels good in my lap. She's heavy, but it's more like she's dense. All packed up with muscles and brains and power and beauty, all in this wonderful little package. I can't believe I was worried about this conversation._

Before he could stop himself, he said the first thing that came to mind. "So you said Saren was only **one** of the reasons why you wouldn't leave?" After he finished his question, he turned his head to look at her. When she met his eyes, his voice took on a soft, sensual quality. "Care to share some of your other reasons?" _Spike, what the hell? Can you please stop flirting for five goddamn minutes? Christ. You just got over your little mini-pity party because you thought she was gonna leave, now stop acting the fool and risking driving her away._

She was stunned into silence. _What does he mean? Does he suspect that I keep daydreaming about doing things with him that quarians can't do outside of clean rooms? Or is he just making fun of me? I don't know. Argh! I __**hate**__ not knowing! How can he know the things I want to do to him, or have him do to me? He couldn't know how badly I want to lick his chiseled chest and perfect abs, and leave a long trail of kisses and bites from his ears down to his shoulders, could he? Or that I want to mark him as my own? And he can't know how I long to feel his skin on mine, to feel his hands reach down and grab my rear and squeeze, to feel his lips on mine, to taste his tongue, to feel his hot, wet mouth on my skin-_ This was too much for her. The heat that had been slowly building in her core suddenly exploded, pushing her into a fully aroused state for the first time. As she felt the sudden need pulling at her from her nether regions, a shiver ran down her spine, and she squirmed in the throes of its delicious agony.

Her gyration, combined with the soft moan that leaked out of her throat, had an immediate impact on Shepard. While he had been doing his best to ignore his own semi-aroused state, when she wriggled around on his lap his body responded with an instant, aching hardness. _Oh holy shit, that feels good. And oh, what a time to remember my ruminations on what quarians wear under their suits. Thanks for reminding me that there's a possibility that the only thing between me and Tali's soft, (I think) warm (probably) skin is her suit. Why does my brain hate me? This is not good. I mean, it feels incredibly phenomenal, but I can't let her feel __**that**__. What the hell would she say? Worse, what would she think? And what was with that moan? God help me, but that was the sexiest fucking sound I have ever heard in my entire fucking life. God damn it all to mother fucking hell! If she wasn't in that suit, and if the few higher functions of my brain that are still working weren't screaming that being out of her suit would be deadly, I would have had her right here on this fucking table, over this fucking chair, on the fucking floor, and in the fucking bed until neither of us could walk. Fucking hell I need a cold shower, and I need one right god damn now._

Shepard removed his hands from around her back, where, he realized to his amazement, he had still been pressing her tightly against his chest. Gently he placed his hands on her hips, trying desperately to ignore several things. The first was that her hips and waist were obviously strong and muscular, yet soft to the touch. The other was that when she was finally off his lap, there would no way he for him to hide his massive erection. And the last was that when he gripped her more tightly, intending to remove her from his lap, she squirmed and pressed herself down into his lap even more forcefully, and let out another soft little moan.

_Oookay. She needs to leave right now. Right, right now. Or this situation is gonna go from bad to worse._ He lifted her up off his lap, then turned her around and started pushing her towards the door. He kept both of his hands on her shoulders, and made certain that his excitement at their prior situation was exactly 180 degrees away from her field of vision. He slapped the haptic interface, then ushered her out and slammed the interface again, closing and locking the door.

"Sorry, Tali, but something's just come up-" _Ha ha. That's actually pretty funny._ "Erm, I mean, there's a mission briefing that I have to take, so I'll talk to you later, okay?" Then he turned and disappeared into his private shower, cranking the water temperature down as low as it could go. He spent the next fifteen minutes imagining that he was caught in an arctic rainstorm, while softly banging his head against the wall.

Outside the door, Tali was stuck as though petrified. _Oh, my Ancestors, what have I done? What was I doing? What does Spike think of me now? And what __**was**__ that? Maybe Auntie Raan will know._ She finally regained control of her motor skills, and started making her way down to a secluded corner of the cargo bay where she could work on a letter to the woman whom she thought of as a second mother.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27

Shepard and Tali spent the next week and a half studiously avoiding one another. Each was concerned about what their closest friend onboard the Normandy must think of them after their encounter in Shepard's cabin. Tali spent the entire week and a half, outside of missions, trying to write a letter to her Auntie Raan. For some reason, she didn't want to tell Raan that she had felt those intense feelings of desire while looking at a human. As amazing as Shepard was, she just knew that her Aunt wouldn't approve. Tali also didn't want to tell her Aunt that she had already found her Pilgrimage Gift, as she would then have to try to explain why she was delaying her return. In truth, Tali wasn't entirely sure why she wanted to delay her return from the Normandy, just that when she'd told Shepard it was to help him stop Saren, it didn't ring fully true. Additionally, she hadn't told her Aunt that she was now working on the most advanced ship in the galaxy. All in all, she had a lot to put, and not put, into one letter.

Tali was just about done with her missive, though. She was going to look it over once more, then send it from a public terminal on Noveria, so it couldn't be traced back to the Normandy. Tali pulled up her omni-tool and opened the letter for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Dear Auntie Raan,

I have so much to tell you! First, I'm sorry that it has taken me so long to write. I found a ship to serve on, and in all the excitement and confusion, I haven't had a chance to write yet. I apologize. But I've found the most amazing ship, and the crew has been extremely welcoming. You'll never believe what ship I'm on: it's an Alliance warship, and is one of the most advanced ships that I've ever seen! Its drive core is massive! I can't tell you any more than that over an open channel like this, but when I see you, I'll tell you all about it.

I got into a little bit of trouble early on in my Pilgrimage, but a passing Alliance Naval Officer helped me. To be honest, Auntie, he probably saved my life. Then he offered me a spot on his ship as an engineer. I cannot find the words to express the amazing technology they are letting me work with. It is absolutely one of the best experiences of my life! Plus, the crew is multi-species! There are humans, a turian, an asari, and even a krogan on board! And me, too, of course. The captain is unlike anyone I've ever met. He's intelligent, strong, independent, and an amazing warrior. Do you remember when you had Kal'Reegar train me in combat? I mean no disrespect to Kal; because he's a great marine and a good friend, but I have no doubt that the Captain would be able to dismantle a squad of Kal's marines by himself. I've seen him defeat an Alliance heavy turret, on foot, single-handedly! It's as if the Ancestors themselves have blessed him with every combat skill and their combined knowledge of millennia. Perhaps when we see each other in person, I can show you some of the recorded footage from my helmet, showing you just how deadly he is.

There is also something I need to ask you. It is very personal, so I beg you, please don't tell Father. The other day, I was sitting down and just looking at everything there is aboard this ship. Suddenly, I felt bathed in a warm, pleasant feeling. For several minutes, I seemed to be in a haze, unable to control my actions, or move without assistance. It was very perplexing, and more than a little worrying. The captain trusts me to be a part of his team that is on the ground, fighting the geth. I am extremely anxious over the thought that this situation could happen while we are in combat, at which point I would be unable to protect my squad mates. This thought horrifies me. I do not want to be the person who lets down this team, or makes our mission fail. Please, I beg of you to tell me anything you know or can guess about this situation. I love you and miss you Auntie!

Love,

Tali'Zorah nar Rayya"

She read over the letter once more, corrected a grammatical mistake, and then saved the draft as final. _I don't think I'm giving too much away. I think I sound just like a little girl excited to play with some new toys._ She scowled, as she remembered that that was probably the way Spike thought about her. _There's nothing I can do about that, though, except for trying to continue to prove to him that I am much more than a little girl. I am getting better, though. I can hack a geth for almost a full minute now. And I think I'm even better than Kal with a shotgun at this point. I owe it all to Spike. Without him, I would probably be dead somewhere on the Citadel, stuffed into a waste disposal unit._ She shook her head, trying to dispel those depressing thoughts.

* * *

Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay was sitting in her cabin aboard the Tonbay, caught in a swirling maelstrom of emotion the likes of which she had not felt in years. All because of Tali and her letter. One part of her was overjoyed to know that the daughter she never had was still alive. After so much time without a single message from Tali, she had begun to fear the worst. The worst part of being a quarian parent was that many children never returned from their Pilgrimage, and their families never knew if their son or daughter had died or been killed somewhere.

Another part of the Admiral was laughing at the idea of a human military ship with a quarian aboard, to say nothing of having both a krogan and a turian sharing the same space. _This captain must be rather impressive, if he has kept a krogan from going on a killing spree when there's a turian around. Even more impressive if what Tali says is true; I've never heard of even a two-person team fighting a heavy turret to a draw!_ She made a snap decision to call for Kal'Reegar and tell him about that part of Tali's letter.

Yet a third part of "Auntie Raan" was overjoyed that her niece had found a place that made her happy. That she was ecstatic with her position and her job was crystal clear from her letter. Raan had to admit, she was a little bit jealous. Much of the Fleet was decades, if not centuries old. The idea of living and working on a ship fresh off the line, especially if that ship was using experimental technology (which Raan assumed was the reason for Tali's secrecy), was something that many quarians would give their realks for.

She was about to obsess over the last, and most powerful feeling, when a knock on her cabin jerked her out her ruminations. "Please enter!" She called out, assuming that Kal'Reegar would be stepping through the door. She smiled when he did so. "Hello, Kal."

"Ma'am." He stood at attention.

She smiled and waved at him. "Please, Kal. Have a seat."

"Thank you, ma'am." He said gruffly while he took the indicated chair.

"If I know you, Kal, you're wondering why I called you here."

He nodded silently.

Shala chuckled. "I received some interesting information from Tali, recently."

At this, Kal perked up. "How is she, ma'am?"

"She's fine." She smiled at seeing the marine's reaction, knowing that "perking up" was a large emotional showing for Kal. "Actually Kal, Tali's serving aboard a human vessel now."

"What?" Kal pulled in two quick deep breathes to calm himself. "I thought we warned her to stay away from humans for now, until they establish themselves in the galactic community?"

Raan could hear the worry in his voice. "We did, Kal. From what she told me in her letter, however, the human captain saved her life, and then turned around and offered her a job. It seems almost as though the Ancestors were specifically looking out for her."

"What exactly is she doing for this human captain?" Kal's voice was tinged with something that sounded like disbelief. "Not many people would be willing to take one of us onboard; either because they think we'd steal everything that wasn't bolted down, or because of the cost of keeping us healthy."

"I know, Kal." The Admiral tried to reassure him. "She says she's working as an engineer."

"I suppose that's not too bad." Reegar grudgingly admitted. "Do you think she's being taken advantage of somehow?"

"This captain of hers does not seem to be that type of person. However, he is the reason I called you in here."

"Oh?" Kal leaned forward in his chair. _It might be time to get Vera out again. Ancestors, I love that rifle! She and I might have to go teach this human a lesson._

"Apparently she is serving on an Alliance warship, and she speaks very highly of his combat prowess. In fact, Tali even suggested that he would be able to single-handedly eliminate you and your entire squad."

The male quarian scoffed at this notion. "Ridiculous. No one person could take on one of my squads and live to tell about it. I can't believe Tali would say something like that." He paused, his eyes searching the Admiral. "Are you jacking my filters, Admiral?"

"Of course not." She replied, seeming shocked by his suggestion. "Here." She cut out the pertinent parts of the second paragraph and sent them to him. She watched him read it, as his eyes grew wider behind his visor.

"Impossible." He shook his head. "An entire squad on foot would be hard-pressed to defeat a heavy turret. Those are made for anti-vehicle defense!"

"I agree. Yet I doubt that Tali would lie to us. Don't you?"

He sat in silence for a moment. "Yes. But I also have trouble believing that story. What kind of man could he be, in order to do something like that?"

The pair of them were quiet, both re-reading Tali's words. They were also trying to figure out how a single person could have the combat skills Tali described. Suddenly Kal slapped his thigh.

"I know who it is!"

Raan was shocked. "You do? How? And who is it? Tali seemed very careful to not mention a name in her letter."

"Yeah, I noticed that." Reegar trailed off, the shook his head and started answering the Admiral's questions. "I believe it is Commander Shepard of the Systems Alliance Navy."

"How did you figure that out?" Raan wanted to hear his reasoning before she would believe him.

"During my free time, when I have some, I occasionally check the military section of the Alliance News Network. I know it sounds odd, but they get a lot of reliable information. A few weeks back, they ran a segment about the first human Spectre."

"I assume that that would be this Shepard fellow?"

"Yes." Kal nodded, and then he continued. "The broadcast mentioned that the Council had decided to make him a Spectre after he used a multi-species team to investigate one of their top Spectres, Saren Arterius. It was mentioned that he had used a krogan, a turian, and a quarian. They didn't show any pictures of the 'aliens,' of course, so I never thought it might be Tali. If Shepard is the guy, though, I'm not sure how to feel."

"What do you mean?" Shala asked, both intrigued and proud that Tali, if it was indeed Tali, had helped the Council in such a way. _This could go a long way towards increasing our standing with the other races, and perhaps someday lead us to a home of our own._ She sighed, imagining what it would be like to feel a planet, **her** planet, beneath her feet. Then she shook her head and re-focused on Kal. _Stop acting like a child, Shala. You're an Admiral now. Dreams and flights of fancy have no place in your life._

"Well, on the one hand he's a war hero. Literally. Humans call him the Hero of the Skyllian Blitz."

"I remember that event." Raan interjected. "A group of pirates and batarians banded together to take Elysium, but they were rebuffed."

"Yes. What matters for us, though, is that he pulled together a defense, mostly made up of civilians, and managed to hold off the pirates for several hours, practically single-handedly. In fact, some reports indicate that he alone repulsed a wave of batarians and pirates after they blew a hole in the defender's perimeter by destroying a building." Kal nodded his head, impressed with the man if the reports were true. When the Admiral didn't say anything, he decided to continue. "This was before he was trained as a special forces operative, no less. He now holds the rank of N7, humanity's highest special forces designation. So I suppose if he is Tali's captain right now, he could quite possibly take out one of my squads."

Shala didn't understand something. "If he's a war hero, Kal, why would you have any doubts about Tali serving under him? Surely he knows how to protect people?"

"I think we can safely assume that he does, ma'am. But there's a subtle undercurrent to his story, and that's what worries me. He's known in some circles as the Butcher."

"That sounds very sinister." Raan said, clutching one hand to her chest. "Why?"

"I can't honestly say, ma'am." Reegar looked apologetically at the Admiral. "My guess is that there are times when he doesn't take any prisoners. After enough occurrences like that, the idea that he kills indiscriminately could start to put down roots."

"I understand. Thank you for your honesty, Kal. I wonder if Tali knows?"

"I don't know." Kal shook his head. "On the one hand, if there's anybody smart enough to get into the Alliance databases and learn the truth about Shepard's missions, it's her. But on the other, I don't know if she'd do something like that without a good reason. And I don't know this Shepard at all, so I have no idea if he'd tell her about his past."

"I expect not." Raan said. "Most captains don't tell their crew every one of their dirty little secrets."

Kal just nodded in silence.

"Thank you, Kal."

"Ma'am?" He wasn't sure whether she was dismissing him.

"I was hoping that you would be able to give me some insight into her current situation. Once again, you have performed magnificently."

"Are you going to try to get her back?"

"I can't, can I?" The Admiral responded, slumping her shoulders. "We cannot interfere with Pilgrimmages unless there is a catastrophe within the Fleet. This time away from the Fleet allows them to return as responsible members of our people. My hands are tied, Kal."

Kal shook his head. He, too, knew the rules that governed the mandatory exile of young quarians. "So we do nothing, ma'am?"

"No. I will write back to her, giving her some of the information you've given me. I hope that it will pique her interest enough to do some digging. Tali is a smart girl. If something doesn't seem right, I have no doubt that she will get off that ship as quickly as she can."

She dismissed Kal with a wave. As he left, she re-read the letter from Tali and mulled over the last thirty minutes. _This would be so much easier if I could just meet up with Tali and look her in the eyes, I know I could figure out what is going on. The implications of what she said, and more importantly, didn't say, are very worrisome. She can't be . . . No. There's no way._ She quickly set about a drafting a message to Tali, then hit send. _I pray this satisfies her. She always was an inquisitive girl._


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

"What do you mean; I'm not coming with you?" Tali asked Shepard, putting her hands on her hips and giving her commander a look that could penetrate dreadnought armor from a hundred paces.

"I mean, you're going back to the Normandy, Tali. Liara and Garrus are coming with me for this one." Shepard sighed. _Sometimes, I fucking hate being right. I knew she wasn't gonna like this plan. I already brought her along while we were cleaning up some of the scummier parts of this fucking place. Goddamn suits and bureaucrats. Noveria's a fucking cesspool. Give me a straight up fight any day of the week. Granted, I did get some new armor out of the deal. It's only fair of Parasini, after all. Seeing as my old armor was fucked up like nobody's business by that bitch in the Synthetic Insights office while I was doing Parasini's job for her. Gah. That Explorer armor was absolute crap against biotics. This Guardian shit doesn't seem too much better though. Why is everything I own rubbish?_

"Why, Spike?"

"Because Liara has the right to come with me on this one. It's her mom, Tali!"

Tali had to agree with his logic. "Then why are you bringing Garrus instead of me?"

"Look, Tali, I don't know what's waiting up there." _Once again, zero fucking intel. Which seems to be the default fucking way of doing things anytime Saren's involved. Pain in my fucking ass is what it is. I don't know if there's gonna be geth up there, and that's Tali's strongest enemy. Garrus is just more versatile. Hell, I should probably bring Wrex, tactically speaking, but I've noticed Liara and Garrus talking a lot, and if things go south with Benezia I need somebody who can console Liara. And that's a good reason to speak aloud, moron._ "And I need someone who can talk Liara down if Benezia fights us. I'm not any good at that sentimental stuff, and I've noticed that those two seem to get along pretty well. Thus, they're the two who're coming with me."

Tali was quiet for a minute. "Fine. But I'll be watching the mission with Joker. If you," _Wait, I can't make him uncomfortable with me again. Things are just now getting back to normal between us, after whatever that was in his cabin the other night. I will not make him uncomfortable again! So the way to do that is to focus on everyone, not just him._ "If **any** of you, get hurt, I will be very unhappy."

Shepard smirked. _It's good to know she cares. I wonder if she cares about Liara and Garrus and me, or just me? A mildly unsavory part of me is kinda hoping that her concern is mostly limited to just me. Is that wrong? Yeah, probably._ "We'll be fine, Tali. I'm sure Liara will be able to talk some sense into her mom. Hell, we might even come back from this with another crewmember!" _Now that would be awesome, even if that statement was initially intended as some false bravado so Tali doesn't worry. But come on, an asari matriarch, the person who probably taught Liara, and someone who was once in Saren's camp? I'd wager that that'd be pretty useful in tracking down Saren. So why do I have this terrible feeling like nothing's gonna go right on this mission?_

* * *

The airlock opened, and Shepard walked back onto the Normandy. Behind him, Garrus was holding up a sobbing Liara, as he had been ever since the trio left Peak 15. Shepard had walked through Port Hanshan with his shotgun in one hand and his pistol in the other, promising a painful death to anyone who got in between his team and the Normandy. The asari, turian, and human had therefore made it back to the Normandy in record time, and completely unmolested.

Tali walked out of the cockpit and saw Shepard, Garrus, and Liara. "Keelah! What happened to your armor, Shepard?"

Shepard gave her a wry grin. "I thought you were watching the mission the whole time?"

"I was. I was watching it through your helmet cam feed, though, not Garrus or Liara."

"Huh. Why'd you do that?"

"Um." _I can't tell him that I did that because it made me feel closer to him. That would surely make him uncomfortable._ "I wanted to see what you see, during a fight. I was hoping it would help me to understand and predict your orders during battle."

"That's really smart, Tali." Shepard gave her a wide smile as he said this. "Hey Garrus, why don't you get Liara downstairs and situated? I'll deal with Joker and the Council."

The turian nodded, and began helping Liara aft. Tali and Shepard both turned to watch, before the pilot's voice turned them forward again.

"I'm hurt, Commander. How can you lump me in with the Council? **I**, unlike them, know my head from my ass."

Shepard laughed. "Too true, Joker. Waaaay too true. But I just meant I needed to stay up here to tell you where to go."

"Uh huh. And where is that?"

"The Citadel. I need to talk to Anderson and some other people about stuff, and I think we all need a break."

"Amen, brother!"

Shepard rolled his eyes at his pilot's exuberance. "Get me the Council on the horn in the comm room. After I finish with those morons, tell the ground crew to report there for our debriefing."

"Okey-dokey."

Shepard and Tali left the pilot and headed towards the CIC. "Shepard, what happened to your armor?"

"Oh, right." He looked down at the pitted, gouged, and warped armor. "Turns out you really do get what you pay for. This free armor is shit. The rachni ripped it to shreds." _And wasn't that just the greatest goddamn surprise ever. Fucking rachni! They're supposed to be extinct. Seriously, what the hell is up? Geth are seen outside the veil for the first time in centuries, a millennia-old ugly-ass mind-controlling plant is discovered, and a supposedly extinct species is rediscovered. Did Saren pop open a portal to the twilight zone or something?_

_And speaking of rachni, I reaaaaally hope that that decision doesn't come back to bite me in the ass. I know I probably shoulda just killed that queen, and I'm sure the Council and Wrex will have some choice words about letting her get away, but I just couldn't do it. First, if there's one rachni, there's more rachni; thus having a rachni queen who owes me a pretty big favor is probably a good thing. Second, my internal bullshit-o-meter was dead quite while she was talking; leading me to believe that everything she said was the truth. And third, if she was the last of her species, I just didn't feel up to some genocide today. The rachni, and her in particular, never did anything to me._ "Hey Tal, I'm gonna take the call with the Council by myself. See you later?" He said, remembering that the quarian engineer was still next to him.

She nodded. "Bye, Shepard." As he walked away, she turned to XO Pressly and started to talk to him. _I wonder how long it will take Spike to talk to the Council?_ She thought idly, not having any idea as to just how short the conversation would be.

Shepard strode into the comm room and waited for the Council to appear. A few seconds later, their holograms popped into life.

"Commander." The asari started. "We do not approve of being disconnected. We are the Council, and we will be treated with respect."

_Ya know, I was gonna give them a proper debriefing this time. But since they're gonna play the "high and mighty" card, I'm gonna play the "fuck off" card._

"I'm – can't - you. Must be – through - tunnel. Try – later." Taking his cue, Joker ended the communication. Both Shepard and Joker burst into laughter. In the cockpit, Joker was wiping tears from his eyes, while Shepard was rolling on the floor clutching his sides.

_It really wasn't that funny._ Shepard thought idly while he was on the floor. _But the look on their faces was fucking priceless. And I haven't pranked somebody in way too long. That was great!_

"Oh shit, Commander." Joker finally spoke over the intercom when he had caught a bit of breath. "That was hilarious!" He burst out laughing again. "I gotta remember that one."

"Thanks." Shepard said from his spot on the floor. "Perfect timing, by the way. Would you mind sending out the message for the team to meet me here?"

"I live to serve, Shepard." Joker ended their connection, and chuckled once before opening up a shipwide channel. "Ground team; please report to the comm room for a debriefing. You know who you are."

From where she was talking to Pressly, Tali had been able to hear rolling peals of laughter from both the cockpit and the comm room. _That worries me. Shepard should not be laughing in front of the Council, they are never intentionally funny. What happened?_ Hearing Joker's announcement, she excused herself from the XO and walked into the comm room, only to find Shepard lying on the floor.

"Spike! Are you okay?" She shouted, rushing over to him.

He cracked open an eye. "Of course, Tali. I'm just relaxing a bit."

"Oh." She said, suddenly embarrassed that she had run over and knelt by his side so quickly. _What came over me? I know Shepard is strong enough to survive more than a conversation with the Council. Actually, that was a very quick conversation, considering how much he had to tell them._ "How did the Council take the news of Benezia's death and the rachni's release, Commander?" His sudden burst of laughter was a surprising answer.

"They took it really well, Tali." Seeing Tali's confused look made him laugh all the harder. "Or rather, I'm gonna assume that they would have if I had told them."

"You didn't tell the Council? Why not?" She cocked her head to the side, indicating to Shepard her complete loss at his words and actions.

"Well, I just didn't get a chance. They were being bitchy, so I felt it was my duty to put them in their place."

"You did what?" Tali was shocked. While she didn't think highly of the Council, they were still incredibly powerful.

"I had a little fun with them, then hung up on them." He burst into laughter again.

"What exactly did you say to them, Spike?"

He was too busy laughing to respond. After some time, he managed to choke out an, "Ask Joker," before he succumbed to laughter once again. She was about to do just that, when the door opened and Ashley and Kaidan walked in.

"Are you alright, Skipper?" Ashley asked, concerned.

Shepard waved her concern away. Finally, he stopped laughing and asked for Tali to pull him up. She did so, before he turned to Ashley. "I'm fine. Just having a good laugh is all." He went over and took his seat. The other three did the same, and they passed the time in silence until Wrex came in, followed by Garrus and Liara shortly thereafter.

"Let's get this show on the road, gang." Shepard announced.

* * *

Shortly after the debriefing, Shepard and Tali were both reading messages that made their nerves hum with electricity.

Tali's letter was from her Auntie Raan. She found a quiet corner of the hangar bay and opened it up.

"My dear Tali,

I'm glad to hear that your Pilgrimmage is going so well. I can't wait to see you again, and hear all about your new ship and the people with whom you're serving. I talked with Kal'Reegar, and he was quite pleased to hear about your success as well. However, he gave me some interesting information that I wanted to pass on to you, to do with as you please. He was able to figure out who you are currently serving with, and noted that that man has two interesting titles. The first, you probably already know. 'The Hero of the Skyllian Blitz.' The second is more of a name whispered in shadow, and does make me worry about you; there are people who call him 'The Butcher.'

I also want to tell you that, as far as that 'personal' matter you mentioned in your last letter, please don't worry. I do not believe that it will put you, or your shipmates, in danger. I know that my answer isn't exactly what you wanted, but trust me, you'll be fine.

Love,

Admiral Shala'Raan vas Tonbay"

_By the Ancestors, Auntie! Was that really the best you could do? Argh! At least I won't be a danger to my team. Most likely. Why did she mention that part about Spike's titles? Maybe she's trying to tell me something. I have no idea what it could be, though. Why would Spike be called a butcher? I understand that he is dangerous, but he would never do anything evil. Would he? _ Her hands started making knots with each other and her heart was pounding. She pulled her hands apart and forced herself to calm down and write a response.

"Aunt Shala,

I can't wait to see you again, as well. Thank you for your kind words. I do wish you could have been more specific about what I experienced, but I understand your meaning. I hope things on the Flotilla are going well, and give my love to Father.

Love,

Tali"

She read the letter over once, and then hit send.

* * *

At the same time, in his cabin, Shepard was struggling to understand a letter from his girlfriend.

"Spike,

I need to see you as soon as possible. I know you're busy, but I need to see you in person. Please come to Arcturus as soon as you can. I'm really sorry to take you out of your way, but I promise I wouldn't bother you if it wasn't important.

Beth"

_What is this about? Did the Alliance find something about the Lees? Were they turned into those husk things? Fuck, that would be shitty. I hope it's not that. What in the fuck is this about? I guess there's only one way to find out_. With a sigh, Shepard activated the intercom. "Joker."

"Yeah?"

"A little change of plan. We need to make a quick stop on Arcturus."

"Alrighty then. Can I ask why?"

"Sure. Shepard out." Shepard ended the conversation abruptly. He leaned back in his chair, looking forward to some downtime. _Thank god I finally got outta that armor. I can't believe I need to buy more, already. The Alliance needs to give me a raise for hazard pay or something. Seriously, who woulda guessed that so-called "Guardian" armor couldn't guard its way out of a wet paper bag? Certainly not me._


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

A knock on his door brought Shepard back to an upright position. _For fuck's sake. Can't a guy get two fucking seconds to himself? I swear to everything that's holy, I'm gonna turn my fucking omni-tool off and hide out at some shitty hotel for the first 24 hours we're on the Citadel._ "Enter!" He called out, putting an end to his internal pity party.

The door slid open to reveal Alenko and Williams. "Come in." Shepard said simply, and then waved them forward.

As they entered the small cabin, Shepard got up from his chair and moved to his bed, gesturing for the two newcomers to take the only two chairs in the room. Plopping down on the edge of his bed, he waited for the other two to get situated.

"Alright guys, what can I help you with? Kaidan, is Ash questioning your masculinity again? Because I've already told her to stop once, it's up to you to enforce it now." _Ha ha. Twenty credits on Williams in that fight._

Grimacing at the joke, Kaidan shook his head.

"Skipper, we wanted to talk to you about the missions." Ashley took the initiative and started the conversation, since Alenko's posture and downturned gaze indicated supreme reticence.

"Go ahead. You have concerns about whether we'll be able to catch Saren? Because I'm telling you, we'll get him. You just have to trust me." _And when we catch him, I'll gut him like a fish. Then, I'll let Chakwas patch him up so the Council can interrogate his ass._

"We believe you, Skipper. I guess it's more that I," Ashley hesitated and looked at Kaidan before continuing, "I mean we, want to talk to you about how much you've been bringing the aliens along with you on missions. Instead of us. The three of us haven't gone out together since Eden Prime."

"Not true." Shepard countered. "I brought you with me when we went to the Citadel after Eden Prime." _Is she seriously gonna waste my time by bitching about not spending enough time with me? We're not dating, you daft wench! We're chasing down a deranged mass-murderer who's hell-bent on exterminating humanity! Get your fucking priorities in order, woman._

"You did, Commander." Ashley conceded his point. "But as soon as you found a couple of aliens who wanted to join up with us, that was it. We haven't seen the outside of the ship since."

_Oh good, maybe I was wrong. It's just her classic "I hate aliens" spiel. _"Ash, who I bring with me when I go ground-side is my prerogative. I don't have to explain myself to you," he looked over at Kaidan, "or you, Kaidan. It's one of the perks of command." _One of the only perks I've found so far. Well, that and my sweet cabin. No hot bunking and a personal shower? Yes please._

"Commander, we've been with you longer than any of the aliens. We were with you on Eden Prime. We deserve to know why you're not taking us with you."

"Oh, you **deserve** it, do you Ashley? I'm sorry; I must have missed that memo." Shepard's voice was caustic, and his gray eyes were icy. _Fucking bitch is gonna get it now. Who does she think she is, to tell __**me**__ what she deserves?_ "In that case, let me tell you all about it. I bring Tali along because she's never met a geth she couldn't hack, and I happen to like letting the bad guys kill each other. Makes my job easier, ya know? And I bring Garrus because he's the best sniper on this squad, excepting myself. Plus, quite aside from their skills, they both know how to follow orders no questions asked. Is that enough explanation for you, Williams?" When he finished speaking, Shepard continued to glare at Ashley, daring her to meet his eyes.

"Commander." Kaidan spoke up for the first time since he entered the commander's quarters.

"Alenko. You finally have something to say?" Shepard turned his cold gaze to the other man in the room.

"Sir. I just want to know why you bring the others instead of me, so that I can do what I need to in order to prove myself to you and earn my spot on this team."

Kaidan's words calmed Shepard down, a little. _I wonder if he secretly agrees with Ashley, and is just trying to keep me from tossing the both of 'em out the airlock? Or maybe he genuinely wants to contribute to taking Saren down. Hell, maybe he just wants a piece of the action so he'll get promoted when all this is done. He's probably telling the truth, though. Neither of these two marines have anything closely resembling a good poker face._

"Ok, Kaidan, I can respect that. Do you have anything specific you want to know?"

"Could you perhaps talk me through that first time on the Citadel? I thought we worked well together during the mission on Eden Prime, but you were pretty quick to replace us with Vakarian and Wrex."

"Alright. So we got to the Citadel, we were tracking down info on Saren, and we ran into Garrus. I really liked the way he handled that situation in the Med Clinic. He was being patient, waiting for an opening, and as soon as one presented itself, he moved. I wanted to see if he could follow orders as well as he could improvise, so I figured taking him along for a while was the best call. Since he told me he had some skill with tech, he was a logical substitute for you, rather than for Ashley. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, Commander. You were just trying to balance the strengths and weaknesses of the team."

"But why did you replace me with Wrex when you went to take on Fist?" Ashley found it impossible to hold her tongue any longer. "I'm a soldier, through-and-through. He's just some krogan mercenary."

"Firstly, Ashley, he's more than just 'some krogan mercenary.' If you talked to him at all, you'd know that." _Actually, I reckon I'm about due for another chat with Wrex. It's been a while since we had some free time. I'll have to make sure I set some time aside for him when we get to the Citadel._ His countenance darkened again as he turned towards her. "And secondly, the reasoning is the same as what I just told Kaidan, weren't you listening?" She shook her head tersely.

"Fine, I'll explain it again. Try to listen this time." The scowl she sent his way at these words was put to shame by his glare. "Wrex is like a walking tank. Krogan are ridiculously hard to take down, and have amazing regenerative abilities. I needed a heavy-hitter, and it doesn't get any heavier than a krogan battlemaster. I knew what you could do in combat, having worked with you on Eden Prime. But he was an unknown. I wanted to see what kind of a fighter I was dealing with. Hopefully I was testing out a potential team member, but if not, it never hurts to have additional first-person experience with the fighting styles of potential enemies. Plus, he was going after Fist whether I was with him or not. Why not take advantage of that fact?"

"Fine." Ashley said with a huff.

"Commander, that makes sense. After you took down Fist, though, why didn't you send for either or both of us?" Kaidan tried to draw Shepard's attention away from Ashley. "We would have come back to help you, if you had asked."

"I don't doubt it, Kaidan. But firstly, we were under a severe time constraint. Fist's thugs were going to meet with Tali, kill her, and take the evidence she had on her within minutes. It would have taken too long for either of you to get back. Secondly, I figured that the best way to ensure Tali's safety would be to spring the trap that Fist had set. Wrex was just the person to bring along, seeing as he could barge into the middle of a trap, get caught in the crossfire, and live to tell about it. I don't think I could say the same about anyone else on this team. And lastly, Garrus is dextro-DNA, just like Tali. So on the off chance that we were too late, or that we couldn't kill the baddies before they got a shot off, I wanted someone with me who would hopefully have some idea about how to help her. Savvy?"

"Sorry, Commander, what was that last bit?" Kaidan asked perplexedly.

"'Savvy.'" Shepard explained. "Old English lingo used by pirates who sailed Earth's seas, means 'do you understand?'"

"Oh. Then yes, Commander, I understand." Kaidan answered.

"Ok, fine, you wanted to see what the aliens could do. But why do you keep bringing them with you?" Ashley's anger was back.

"Because every time we've tried to catch Saren or stop Saren or find out what Saren was up to, we run into geth. And like I said, Tali is a genius when it comes to making life hard on synthetics." _If anything, I'm selling Tali short here. She makes those damn things cry for their mommies._

"But you take her with you all the time!" Ashley complained. "Even when there's no chance of seeing geth anywhere. Do you have a thing for the little alien girl, Commander?" She asked with a sneer.

_**Do**__ I have a thing for her?_ Shepard was momentarily lost in his own thoughts. _I can't, right? First off, I'm pretty sure I still have a girlfriend. No matter how annoying she's been, we're still together. And even if I were single, nothing could ever come of it anyway, because if she opens up her suit, she could __die__. So that would be a real fulfilling relationship. 'Hey there baby. How about a kiss?' And then she's dead. Fucking wonderful._

Bringing himself back to the real world, he neatly dodged Ashley's question. "Any private relationship I may have with anyone is none of your business, seeing as it's **private**. Aside from that, though, do you even know **anything** about the quarians, Ashley? Why do you think her shields are so strong? Because if she gets a suit rupture, she could **die**! That's why quarians live inside of a suit their whole lives. Because contact with the outside world kills them!" _Alright, maybe I'm laying it on a little thick, but Ashley deserves it. I've had it about up to __**here**__ with her nonsense on this cruise._

Ashley looked shocked. _I can't believe she didn't know._ Shepard thought with disgust._ She's been on this ship for months (months!) with Tali, and hasn't even bothered to ask her why she wears her suit and helmet __all__ the time? It's no wonder humans have a shitty reputation in the galaxy._

Ashley recovered from her surprise and continued to press the Commander for an answer. "So then why do you take her with you all the time if you're so worried about her dying?"

Shepard sighed, and tried to control his temper. _It's not good to get angry with your subordinates, Spike. It makes you look weak. No matter how much they deserve your foot so far up their ass they can taste it._ Aloud, he said, "Because her style of fighting fits in well with my preferred method of taking out targets. Garrus and I find a spot at range and take out whatever targets we can. Then we move around to come at them from a different side, and go in with guns blazing. Garrus and I are well equipped to deal with longer-range threats, and Tali protects us if anything gets too close. Works well for clearing buildings, too."

"But I can do all that, too, Skipper." Ashley sounded almost plaintive now, less angry.

"I know you can, Ash. But I feel like this team gives me the best chance to come out alive, no matter what situation I run into. And when I feel like I need a little something different, I'd rather have somebody with biotics. Preferably Wrex, for the reasons I mentioned earlier."

"And if Wrex wasn't available?" She asked.

"Probably Liara." Shepard answered quickly.

"What makes Liara more attractive than me, Commander?" It was Kaidan's turn to ask a question this time.

"Well to be frank, I don't really go in for dicks, LT." Shepard said with a wink at Alenko.

Alenko managed a small smile, then sat and waited for a serious answer.

With a sigh, Shepard gave him one. "It's really close, Kaidan. But when it comes down to it, she has two advantages. One of them isn't something you can do anything about, but the other is." Kaidan continued to look at him expectantly. "The thing you can't do anything about is your implants. I know it's not your fault, but she doesn't have any problem using her biotics all day long without being incapacitated by migraines like you."

Kaidan frowned, knowing Shepard was telling the truth. "You said there was something I could do, Commander? To get better?"

"Yes. That singularity of hers is really handy. It wouldn't hurt for you to try to learn it sometime. I don't know for sure that you **can** learn it, but if it were me, I'd be begging her for lessons."

"Ok, Commander. I'll see what I can do."

"What about me, Skipper? Is there anything I can do to get more ground time?"

"The only thing I can say, Ash, is to stay ready. You're already one of the best marines I've ever seen, and I think it's a damn shame that the Alliance isn't fast-tracking you, but that's another story. I can't guarantee what will happen in the future, so I don't know if we'll run into a situation where I need somebody who can use any weapon ever invented, or if somebody will need to be replaced or backed-up or something. So yes, for now, you are on the bench. But stay ready, 'cause shit could go south in a hurry at any time. And of course, you could always ask the rest of the team to work with you on some tips, tricks, techniques, and practice. There're some of the best shooters in the galaxy on board this tin can, and it'd be a shame to waste this opportunity. But don't tell Joker I said that about the Normandy."

"What about you, Skipper? Don't you have any tips or tricks you can give me?" She asked sadly.

"Sorry Ash. I'm just naturally this good." He shot her a grin, trying to cheer her up a bit. She still didn't perk up. "It's also years of practice and thousands upon thousands of rounds. If you make it to N7 someday, you'll know what I mean." He stopped there, and waited to see if they had anything else to say.

After a few minutes of silence, he spoke up again. "Thank you for coming to see me about this in private, you two. I respect you a lot for that. You're also lucky that you came to see me in private, because if you had brought this up in front of the rest of the crew, I'da keelhauled you right then and there."

"What exactly does being 'keelhauled' entail, sir?" Kaidan had one last question for the Commander.

"It's another term from the old Earth pirates." A grin lit up Shepard's face as he got to talk some more about pirates. "If you pissed off the pirate captain, he'd tie one end of a rope to the bow, the other end to you, and toss you over the side. Then you'd be dragged along underneath the keel, 'til he decided to pull you up. Well, what was left of you, anyway."

"But we're in space, sir." Kaidan respectfully pointed out.

Shepard's grin turned evil. "I know."

Alenko and Williams just shook their heads and got up to leave. "I think you mighta been born in the wrong time period, Skipper." Ashley said as she went through the door after Kaidan.

"You might be right, Ash." Shepard said softly, before turning back to his mission briefings.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

"Commander?"

"What is it, Joker?" Shepard rolled over on his bed and silently cursed his pilot for waking him up. _I've been living on fucking catnaps for the last, goddamn, however long it's been since that fucking beacon decided to fuck around inside my head. You had better pray that what you have to say is important, Joker, or I'm gonna hack your music storage and replace it with nothing but the "Best of Early 21__st__ Century Pop" playlist I saw on the extranet the other day. Then I'll see how long it takes for you to claw your own eardrums out._

"Uh, I just wanted to let you know that we're an hour out from the Arc, Commander."

"Thank you." Shepard grunted in reply. _As much as I want to be pissed off at him for that, I guess I can't. I should probably get up, shower, and get dressed before I meet Beth. I still have no fucking clue what is so god damned important that I need to meet with her personally, but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt. She is my girlfriend, after all, and she's been through a lot lately. I guess that warrants a __**little**__ slack. Oh wonderful, I'm even being sarcastic to myself. I think that's one of the signs that I'm going crazy. Maybe I can talk myself into not having a mental breakdown until after Saren's dead? Yeah, that should work._ With a grunt, Shepard threw himself out of his bed and onto a collision course with his shower.

* * *

"We're now officially docked with Arcturus Station, Commander." Joker said into the intercom.

"I noticed." Two of the three inhabitants of the cockpit jumped at the sound of Shepard's deep voice coming from behind them, rather than from the speakers. "Glad to see that somebody on this ship understands situational awareness, Garrus." The commander deadpanned to the stoic turian.

"What can I say, I learned from the best." Garrus answered with a wiggle of his mandible that was the turian equivalent of a wink. Shepard responded with a genuine smile for the compliment

Joker looked to his left and saw Garrus's smug smile. "Wait. You knew he was there?"

Garrus scoffed. "Of course. We turians are apex predators. Therefore, we have highly developed senses. I heard and smelled Shepard coming up behind us a few minutes ago."

"Nice job avoiding the Everest, Joker." Shepard chimed in, smirking.

"Er, yeah. Thanks." Joker replied, removing his own hat and running his fingers through his hair. "You do realize how much I hate that, right?"

Shepard just flashed another wicked smile and turned his attention to the two members of his ground team. "So what are you guys doing up here?"

Tali spoke up for the first time, having had to catch her breath after being caught unawares, again, by Shepard's presence. "Garrus and I were having lunch in the mess, and when we were done we thought we would come up here and bother Joker for his plans once we're on the Citadel."

"Oh? Did ya get anything out of him?" Shepard asked interestedly, trying to ignore the spasm of what felt suspiciously like jealousy as Tali discussed her lunch date. _It wasn't a date; everyone knows that having lunch together is a sure sign of being in the 'friend zone.' Wait, that's for humans; I have no idea of if it means the same to other species. Hell, for all I know a lunch date means the exact opposite to turians and/or quarians. Shit! Wait, why am I getting bent outta shape about this? Tali and Garrus aren't Alliance, so they're free to have a relationship if they want to. And I am most certainly not interested in Tali that way, since I have a girlfriend. In fact, I'm about to go meet up with her. Right. Focus on your girlfriend, Spike._

"No." The turian took over. "I thought of using some of the interrogation techniques I learned in C-Sec, but then he had to dock, so I left him alone."

"Good idea. Prolly a good idea not to distract Joker while he's using what meager skills he has to bring us in to port."

"Oi Commander, that hurt." Joker interjected, putting an exaggerated frown on his face. "You know I'm the best pilot the Alliance has."

Shepard chuckled and started walking towards the airlock. "I know, Joker. I'm just giving you a hard time." _Although the one I'd really like to give a hard time to is sitting to his right. Wait, no! Bad Spike! Get your mind outta the gutter and off of Tali, and think about the girlfriend you'll be seeing in a few minutes._ "Alright, I'll see you all later. Try not to break the ship while I'm gone, Joker. Shouldn't be too long."

Tali was momentarily entranced by the sight of Shepard's tight ass walking away, until his words penetrated her warm haze. "Wait, you're going by yourself?"

"Are you sure you don't need back up, Commander?" Garrus seconded.

"I appreciate your concern, but I'm fine. I grew up on the Arc, remember? I know what I'm doing." He raised a hand to forestall Tali's next argument. "And no, Tali, I don't need to be armored up. On the Citadel, it made sense, because that place is a lot larger than Arcturus, and not everybody likes humans. Here, I'm well known and even more well respected. And those that don't know me, know not to fuck with me. So I'll be fine." Then without another word, he disappeared into the airlock.

"Well that was weird." Joker said, giving voice to the thought running through each of their minds.

"Yes it was." Tali agreed. "Joker, you grew up on this station too, correct?" The pilot nodded. "Is it really as peaceful as Shepard made it seem?"

Garrus cleared his throat. "Technically, Tali, he didn't say it was peaceful. He just said that he was safe. But I am curious to hear your opinion, Joker." He looked at the helmsman expectantly.

Joker sighed, and ran through everything he knew about Arcturus. "I definitely wouldn't call Arcturus 'peaceful,' Tali, although Shepard is probably right. We all know how big of a badass he is, and to most people he's well respected as a naval officer, and he gets a lot of credit for being N7. Being a Spectre is just icing on the cake for him."

Tali sensed that a "however" was en route.

"But humans can be xenophobic assholes sometimes." The turian and the quarian thought about the two members of the Normandy who fit that billing, and nodded in agreement. "The fact that he has non-human crew might make somebody mad enough to try to do something about it. In which case, Shepard would be just as at risk as if he were on the Citadel. I can't say whether that **will** happen though, only that it is a possibility." He shrugged his shoulders helplessly.

The three sat in silence for a moment, mulling over his words. Finally, Garrus spoke. "I think it would be in our best interests, then, to keep an eye on him. Just in case." He looked at his two companions, and noted their approval. "Tali, do you think you can access their security cameras?"

Tali's head turned to look at him, and he knew that behind her faceplate, she was giving him a withering glare. "Yes, Garrus." She answered, managing to reign in her annoyance. _Can I access their security cameras? What a stupid question. Big blue bosh'tet._ She quickly set to work on her omni-tool, and within thirty seconds had pulled up an image of Shepard striding through the station. "I'll have to change cameras frequently, as long as he is walking around, so you should expect the image to change or jump from time to time." She informed her compatriots.

The three Normandy crewmembers sat and watched while Shepard made his way through identical hallway after identical hallway. They each remarked at Shepard's ability to slide through the crowds as though he were no more substantial than vapor. Eventually, he came to a much larger hallway, with what appeared to be multiple store entrances plastering the walls.

"Hey, I know that place!" Joker said aloud. This statement was greeted by two questioning looks, so he decided to elaborate. "It's one of two main shopping and dining districts on Arcturus. This is the smaller of the two, but if I remember correctly, there're still over a hundred different vendors there."

They continued to watch as Shepard walked past at least three dozen of the entrances, without slowing down or appearing to look around. Abruptly he turned and walked into one, causing Garrus and Joker to look over at Tali with expectant looks on their faces. The two men heard her mutter something about "bosh'tets" but before they could ask her to speak up, a new image filled their screens.

Shepard was walking through a restaurant, towards an area with a view out into the inky darkness of space. He sat down at a table with a petite, well-built blonde woman, who didn't appear to be surprised by his sudden appearance.

"Hey, Tali?" Joker asked, shooting her a look. "Think we could get sound, too?"

Tali glared at him before asking, "Why?"

"Um, well, you know. To make sure she isn't threatening him, or blackmailing him, or something."

She continued to stare at him for a few second longer, then started working on bring up the camera's audio pickups. Her mind was not on her work, however. _Personally, I think he is motivated purely by his own voyeuristic tendencies. Nevertheless, he makes a good point._ _Wait, I think I recognize that girl from the holo Shepard showed me. That must be his girlfriend! Oh, I don't want to watch this. Wait, why don't I want to watch this? He's just my captain, and my friend. I should want to see my friend happy, shouldn't I? Especially after all of the battles and injuries he's been through lately. So why do I feel like my stomach is twisting itself up into knots right now?_ She was distracted from her musings by the sound of Shepard's voice coming from the speakers in front of her.

"- lucky I was able to get her so quickly. You happened to catch me just as I was finishing up a mission and heading back to the Citadel."

"Yeah, that's good, I guess." The woman responded.

During the brief lull in the conversation, Tali made a snap decision to tell her friends who the girl was. Well, partially, anyway. "I think the girl Shepard's meeting with is named 'Beth.'" She caught their inquisitive looks. "He mentioned her the other day and told me a little about her. She's an engineer, like me." _I feel bad about lying to them, but if Shepard wanted them to know, he would have told them, right? I know that if I were Shepard, I wouldn't want the people I trust to go spreading my secrets to anyone who will listen._

Shepard's voice came out of the speakers once again. "So what was so important that you needed me to come to Arcturus, ASAP? I tried to figure it out on the way here, but you didn't give me many clues."

"I know, Spike. But I wasn't sure what to tell you. I mean, it wasn't really something I felt I could put in a message, and vid-chatting just seems so awful. I needed to see you again in person. It's been so long!"

"Did she just call him 'Spike?'?" Joker asked incredulously.

Tali silenced him with a wave of her hand. "It's his first name. Now shut up." Neither of the two men had a chance to respond to Tali, as Shepard had started speaking again.

"It's okay, Bethany. Please, don't start crying again. I'm here now, that's the important thing. If you don't want to talk to me about whatever it is until after we eat, I understand."

"No." She said, her voice wavering a little. "No." She repeated, her voice stronger this time. "I can't keep holding it inside, it's eating me alive."

The three observers could see Shepard reach across the table, and heard him ask, "Beth, are you alright?"

She shook her head, and pulled her hand away from his while taking a deep breath. Then, she locked her gaze with his and started talking. "Look, Spike, I know the Alliance means a lot to you. And I know that you didn't get to be N7 without being extremely dedicated. But I just can't do this. You're never around, and when you are, you never talk about what you've been doing. We just sit at home and do nothing! Sure, we watch movies or cook sometimes, but that's sooo boring! You never want to go out to clubs or anything, and you won't even have sex with me! I mean Jesus Christ, Spike, a vibrator can only do so much! I was practically throwing myself at you the last two times we were able to see each other, but you won't let us go past second base."

She took another deep breath, then continued to lay into Shepard who hadn't moved, not even to pull his hands back across the table. "That's not the only thing that's bothering me though. The bigger problem is that I can't trust you. You're so secretive all the time. I begged you for information about my parents, about Eden Prime, and you shot me down. You even hung up on me! How can I know that you are where you say you are, when you say you are? For all I know, when you're 'out on a mission' you could really just be on the Citadel screwing some random whore. That's the only real reason I can think of why you wouldn't want to sleep with me. I know you're not gay, if even half the stories Brian told about you were true. This isn't working, Spike. I can't be your girlfriend anymore, and to be totally honest, I don't even want to be your friend."

The cockpit was stunned into silence, and it appeared that Shepard was as well. After an agonizingly long 90 seconds of silence, Tali, Garrus, and Joker saw Shepard sit up straight, pull his shoulders back, and tighten the muscles on his neck. Then he spoke.

"Thank you for telling me that, Miss Lee. I wish you the best in your attempts to become an Alliance Engineer, and please have a pleasant life." As soon as he finished speaking, he stood up abruptly and marched away. The three people watching in the cockpit saw his eyes flash once, with an indescribable emotion, before his face became a stone mask, devoid of any life. They watched him leave the restaurant, and Tali made no move to follow her captain again with the station's cameras.

The three continued to sit in silence, staring without seeing at the screens in front of them, trying to come to terms with what had just happened. Finally, Joker spoke up. "Uh, guys? I don't think we should mention that we saw that to Shepard. Like, ever." The other two nodded their fervent agreement.

"I think I'm going to go back to Engineering." Tali said, getting up and walking quickly away.

"Yeah, the Mako's coaxial MG needs some tuning." Garrus also strode away with purpose, leaving Joker sitting in an empty cockpit.

The pilot suddenly realized that the view from the restaurant's camera was still on all three screens. Swearing, he quickly set about removing the images and eradicating any trace of the trio's activities from the logs. A short time later, the VI announced that Shepard was back aboard.

"Joker." The pilot managed to hold back a shiver at the subzero tone of his commanding officer's voice.

"Yeah?"

"I want us on the Citadel yesterday. Make it happen. Until we're there, I am completely unreachable."

"Yes sir." The pilot responded, not knowing the target of his response was already walking through the CIC. Joker quickly had his hands dancing over the interface, getting the Normandy away from Arcturus and on course to the relay as fast as he could. He didn't want to see what would happen if Shepard had to come back up to the bridge to enforce his order. Another shiver, one that he couldn't suppress this time, ravaged his body at the thought.


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Shepard sat in his cabin, staring at his last bottle of whiskey. _I guess I should get more when we get to the Citadel._ At any other time, that errant thought would have brought a brief smile to his lips; but right now, his face was locked into an expressionless mask.

As soon as he reached his cabin, he had done some basic navigational computations and come to the determination that he had just enough time to get absolutely blitzed before the Normandy would arrive at the Citadel. Immediately upon arriving at that conclusion, he had pulled out his final bottle of liquor. In the ten minutes between then and now, however, he had just sat in his chair, staring at the bottle in silence.

Shepard's mind was racing, even though his body was fixed and immobile. This had always been his reaction whenever his mind was wrestling with a complex problem. Some men paced, others talked through their thoughts, still others fidgeted rhythmically; Spike just went still and turned his focus inward.

_That fucking bitch- no. I don't know what she is, but bitch is too good a word for her. There is no part of that conversation that wasn't full to bursting with piles of bullshit and self-righteous posturing. Fuck her. Although I certainly won't be the one doing so. Not now. Maybe we could have someday, but no fucking way in hell is my dick going anywhere near that self-centered whatever-she-is ever! Plus she has the balls to say she thinks I'm sleeping with somebody else! Why the hell does she think I have new scars practically every time I return from a mission, and am fucking dead on my feet? What the hell does she think I'm doing, exactly? Fucking my way through the colonies, one world at a time? And the women I bang are all into S&M, which would explain the scarring. How full of shit can one person's fucking head be?_

_How in the great blue hell did Brian come out of that family so fucking normal? His dad was a ginormous prick, who looked down on everybody just because he saw action in the First Contact War. No shit, Sherlock. So did my parents. Doesn't make you better than them. Brian's mom seemed like she might be halfway decent, but she always looked at me wrong. Like I was a goddamn piece of meat or some shit like that. I wonder if she was a nympho or something? In which case, I really don't understand why her husband would have his fucking panties in a bunch. She was __**stacked**__ for an older lady! Hah, maybe he was always in a bad mood 'cause he couldn't satisfy her so she had to take her business elsewhere. And his sister . . . pretty on the eyes just like her mom, but with a definite complex, just like her asshole of a father._

_God damn it! Why did Brian have to die? If he'd still been alive, none of this would have happened. There's no way he would have let anything happen between his sister and me, and I wouldn't a fought him on it. __**Nothing**__ could make me risk losing Brian as a friend. Then those goddamn batarian bastards had to bring their fucking shit to Elysium. I was on vacation, damn it! But Spike isn't allowed his fucking time off, oh no. Instead, the batarians and their little pirate butt-buddies decide to try to show the Alliance who's the boss. Yeah, you really showed us, you fucking cuntburgers. A whole lotta you sure as hell showed me what your fucking insides looked like. Not enough of you, though. I couldn't kill enough of you. One of you still managed to kill him._

_God, Brian, that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. That damn med-scan showed all the internal bleeding, and all I could do was sit there and tell you that you'd be fine. Lying through my fucking teeth, keeping all the emotion off my face, and watching you fade away. I wonder if you knew how bad things were? I think you did. You were so peaceful at the end. I put down the bastard that killed you, though. I managed to avoid going out the same way you did, and then damn near decapitated him with my knife. I still have that one, Brian. The weapon of your vengeance is the only knife I've kept over the years. I found a little case for it, and I carry it with me in my duty bag. Just like I carry your memory._

_I miss you, man. So fucking much. I know you woulda gone N7 with me, and together we could be out there fucking Saren's shit up. But now it's just me; your family's gone, and your sister's dead to me, and it's like the weight of remembering you just quadrupled. It feels like it's just me, now. Trying to do alone what we could have done together. I'm sorry I said all those things about your sister, dude. She just got me riled up. I tried to do right by her, Brian, I really did. But she just couldn't see that I have to give everything I've got to the Alliance, because it's all I've got left of you. You were my best friend, Brian. My only friend, for the longest time. I've got Tali as a friend now, but it's not the same. She's so young! And innocent. I might also be able to get two other friends outta this Spectre thing too: Joker and Garrus. Garrus fucking Vakarian; a goddamn turian! The Spike you knew never woulda been caught "fraternizing with the enemy" but I've changed. I think I'm a better man than the one you knew, Brian. I hope you'd like who I am, if you were here now._

Shepard finally broke his silent vigil and reached for the bottle of whiskey. He twisted the cap off, and raised it over his head in a salute. "Here's to you, Brian." He said, before taking one long pull of the harsh amber liquid. In silence he put the top back on the bottle and hid it away. Then, with his mood starting to swing upwards for the first time since he reached Arcturus Station, Shepard lay back down on his bed and closed his eyes.

* * *

"Commander?" Joker's hesitant voice brought Shepard out of his first restful sleep in weeks. While the nightmarish images of death and destruction had still chased each other through his mind, they seemed duller somehow, without their normal gut-wrenching intensity. _Thanks, Brian_. Shepard thought to himself. While he didn't necessarily believe in God, he hoped that if there were an afterlife, his friend would have found a nice corner of it in which to take up residence. And Shepard knew that Brian would do his best to help out, even from beyond the grave.

"What's up, Joker?" Shepard's almost-friendly voice took Joker by surprise.

"Um, just wanted to let you know we're an hour out from the Citadel."

"Thanks." Shepard sat up from his bed and went to take a shower. After cleaning himself up and putting on a clean set of casuals, he headed up to the CIC. Looking around, he found XO Pressly and made his way over to the man. "Pressly." Shepard said, catching the older man's attention.

"Commander." Pressly snapped into a salute, to which Shepard answered with one of his own. "What can I do for you, sir?"

"I'd like you to draw up a schedule for the next week's leave, please. However, I want everyone to have a full 24 hours away from this ship sometime during the first three days. I was thinking we could go to an absolute skeleton crew during however long it takes to get everybody their 24."

"I'll get right on it, Commander." Pressly started running through possible permutations of crew rosters. "Oh. Do you want me to work your ground team into the rotation?"

"No." Shepard shook his head. "I've been running them ragged the last month or so. I'm giving them the full week."

"Understood. Would you like this ready before we dock at the Citadel, sir?"

Shepard smiled. "You're one hell of an XO, Pressly. Those mind-reading capabilities must make it easy for you, huh?"

Pressly smiled at the compliment. "Thank you, sir." He gave Shepard another salute, correctly interpreting that their conversation was over.

Shepard responded with a salute of his own, and then walked off to watch Joker bring the Normandy in to the Citadel.

* * *

The next five days passed in a blur. Shepard spent as much time as he could sleeping, but made sure to spend at least one meal a day with his ground team, and another meal with the crew at large. He also tried to get in some individual time with Ashley, Liara, Tali, Kaidan, Wrex, and Garrus. He spent that one-on-one time just getting to know them better, and learn about what made them who they were. Those were some of the best times Shepard could remember since Brian died. Even Ashley seemed to be getting over some of her more annoying xenophobic tics; at least, she wasn't making thinly veiled insults to every alien in sight anymore.

Knowing that he might not be on the Citadel again for some time, Shepard went out shopping one day, looking for anything that could give his team an edge. His first stop was Barla Von, to make sure he had enough money to actually buy something nice. When he left the diminutive financial genius's office, he had to rest his arm against a nearby wall. _Christ! That little bastard's amazing! I was just trying to get to "well off," but he blew right through that and made me rich. How the hell did he manage to get me more than seven million credits already? I need to take that little guy to dinner or something. He's fucking awesome!_

Since he was near the financial markets, he decided to check in with Delan, and see if the hanar had any new toys in stock. After quickly browsing the jellyfish's offerings, he stopped in for a chat with Dr. Michel. Sometime later, Shepard departed from the clinic with schematics for a top-of-the-line medical exoskeleton weave and an idea of what the good doctor liked in her men. _I can't believe she's got the hots for Garrus. Well, I guess I can believe it, the guy's almost as badass as me, but there's just so much potential for taking the piss outta Garrus that I can't believe she told me that._ He chuckled to himself while he made his way down to C-Sec, to check in with his favorite C-Sec requisitions officer.

"Hey Viagho, how're you doing? How's the bondmate?" Shepard asked as he walked, practically bounced, actually, into the dismal room.

"Hello Shepard." Viagho smiled at seeing Shepard again. _I don't know what it is about this human, but his personality is electric. When he's in a good mood, he's practically infectious._ "She's doing quite well. Armax recently sent her to Oma Ker to try to push some of the hunting shops there into stocking some of the more expensive Punishers."

"Oh really? Anything I would be interested in?"

"Not if you're still using that HMWSR VII you purchased from me last time. Even Armax's top-of-the-line Punisher can't dish it out like Spectre gear."

"Huh, that's too bad. I was really looking forward to gracing you with my credits today."

"Not to worry, Spectre. I just got a new line of weapons that should be well worth those hard-earned credits."

"Well, don't keep me in suspense. Let's see it!" Shepard exclaimed.

The turian got up from his desk and went in the stock room, coming back out with a thick black case. He set it down on the surface of the table, and put a talon on each lock.

"Now Shepard, you remember my rules, correct?"

"Yes, yes, yes. Looking but no touching in case the weapon has a biometric sensor. Now stop teasing me and pop that lid!" Shepard was rubbing his hands together like a famished man about to partake in a Christmas feast.

Laughing to himself, Viagho slowly undid the clasps on the case, and then lifted the lid back, revealing a matte black, compacted sniper rifle.

Smiling like a kid on Christmas morning, Shepard started reaching for the box, only to pull his hands back when he remembered Viagho's rules.

"It's beautiful. What model is it?"

"It's the best rifle you can find anywhere in the galaxy. A HMWSR X," Viagho replied with what looked like a grin of his own, "which is 20% more powerful than your little VII. And, it is nicely complemented by the HMWSG X, HMWA X, and HMWP X, which I also have."

"You have more of these?" Shepard asked incredulously.

"Well, no, actually, I only have the one set of the Xs right now. But I do have the full set."

"Alright Viagho, you've got me hooked. What's it gonna cost me to be able to put my greedy little hands all over these beauties?"

"Well, they won't come cheap, unfortunately. The whole set costs 3.5 million credits."

Shepard's had to remind himself to breathe after hearing that piece of news. "Wow. I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't that. How much for just the SR and the pistol?"

"The SR is 1.1 million credits, the pistol is 600,000 credits. The AR and shotgun are both 900,000 credits."

"Hmm. I want those like a fat kid wants cake, but -"

"What did you say?" Viagho asked, unsure if he had heard the human correctly.

"What?" Shepard asked, distracted from his train of thought.

"What's a 'kid,' and what's 'cake?'"

"Oh," Shepard said laughing, "the expression is an old Earth saying. It's basically saying that I want those a lot."

"I see. Why didn't you just say that then?"

"It just has a little more weight than 'I want that.' To me, at least." Viagho nodded his agreement. Smiling still, Shepard continued. "So, as, I was saying, I want those, a lot, but I'm actually supposed to be getting weapons and mods for my whole ground team, and these alone would take up most of my budget."

"The Alliance makes you actually buy your own weapons? They don't just reimburse you for what you spend?" Viagho couldn't believe what he was hearing. Shepard's answering chuckle was answer enough. "On Palaven, soldiers get the tools they need to do the job. Especially the elite, special operations types: it's the absolute best for them and nothing else."

Shepard smiled warmly at being called "elite," then shrugged. "The Alliance provides the supplies for the ship, like fuel, food, etcetera, as well as basic weapons. However, I'm noticing that the closer I get to finishing my mission, the bigger and stronger all the nasties seem to be. And most of them are not impressed with a Kedar Avenger, which is what the Alliance bean-counters are willing to give me."

Viagho thought about the Avengers he'd seen some operatives use, and shook his head sadly. "That makes sense, I guess. But Avengers? One of those couldn't put down a salarian with a toothache." _I don't even want to think about the kinds of things Saren is likely to have protecting him. I don't think the VII series is going to be enough._ "Maybe we can make a deal, Shepard."

"I'm listening." The turian C-Sec officer had the human Commander's full attention now.

"You've always been pretty nice to me. Most of the Spectres come in here and want things done 'right now,' and treat me as if I'm just in their way. You, on the other hand, always ask about my family, how I'm doing, and you seem to give a damn. What if I could get you the whole X series, and get them outfitted with mods, for the 3.5 million. Would that doable?"

"That's amazing, Viagho. Are you sure you can do that? I mean, we're friends and all, but I don't want you getting in trouble just to do me a favor."

"It's not a problem, Shepard. The council races have deals worked out with C-Sec to get them discounts on their requisitions. I'll just 'forget' that you're a human Spectre, and put your order down as a general Spectre requisition. The Council won't care."

"That would be great, Viagho. And thanks, it means a lot to me. But just in case, if somebody starts giving you trouble about it, tell them I threatened you with my big scary Spectre act."

"Fair enough, Spectre. So what do you want on the Xs?"

"Hmm, let's see. How about a Scram Rail on the SR and shotgun, Frictionless Materials on the shotgun and pistol, a Kinetic Coil on the pistol, AR, and SR, and some Combat Optics on the pistol. And I'll pay a little extra to make sure those mods are X models. It'd be a crime to put anything less on these beautiful weapons."

"Don't worry, Spectre. Only the best tech will touch your new HMWs. Do you want any ammo mods?"

"Yes! Can you put an inferno mod in the pistol, snowblind mod on the AR, sledgehammer mod on the shotgun, and a high explosive mod in the SR? And make them all X models, please."

"Certainly. Remind me never to get in your way. With that sniper rifle, you could probably take down a cruiser from orbit. Do you want this delivered to the Normandy, or do you want to pick it up?"

"I'll come by to pick it up. Can I set the biometrics then?"

"Of course. I'll send this over to the gunsmith; he should be done in a couple of hours."

"Thanks. I'll come back in . . . 3 hours?"

"It will be done."

"Excellent. Thanks a lot, and see you then, Viagho."


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

"Hello Shepard, Garrus, Ms. Nar Rayya. Are you here for Shepard's new weapons?" Viagho stood up and greeted the three commandoes as they entered his office.

"Hi there!" Tali said.

"Viagho." Garrus said with a nod at his fellow turian.

"Good to see you again Viagho. I take it you have something for me?" Shepard was practically vibrating with excitement as he approached the desk.

"Yes I do, Spectre." Viagho walked through the door into the storeroom and returned bearing two black cases. "Let me grab the other two before you put your hands all over them." Smiling at Shepard's movement towards the two cases on the desk, Viagho headed back into the storeroom, and then returned with the last two cases. "The biggest case is the SR, then next largest is the AR, the smallest one is the pistol, and the leftover one is the shotgun. All the mods are loaded. That sniper rifle could probably vaporize a charging krogan." Shepard and Garrus nodded appreciatively in unison. "So, are you ready to set up the biometrics?"

"Yes, I am. But first I have something for you." Shepard motioned back to Garrus, who was holding a small bag that Viagho hadn't noticed at first. Garrus handed the bag to Shepard, who handed it to Viagho.

Taking it, Viagho reached in and pulled out a box. Looking down at the label, he saw that it was his wife's favorite dextro chocolates. Looking back up at the Spectre, Viagho was shortly speechless. "How did you know?"

"Know what?" Shepard asked, confused.

"Know how much my Demodia loves these? They're her absolute favorite chocolate. Bringing home a box of these has gotten me out of more trouble than I care to remember."

"That's great! I remembered you saying that she liked chocolate, so I had Garrus here pick some out. My way of saying 'thank you' for helping me get these gorgeous weapons."

"Thank you Garrus." The turian nodded respectfully at his former C-Sec compatriot.

"It was nothing." Garrus replied. "I thought I remembered you saying something about liking them back when we worked together."

"Well, I do like them. However, nowhere nearly as much as Demodia does. Thank you."

"Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, can we get back to the matter at hand? I can't wait to get my hands on that rifle." Shepard interrupted the moment with a laugh.

"Yes, of course." Viagho replied.

"Excellent." Shepard was grinning like a loon. "Let's set the SR and pistol biometrics to me, and I'm gonna give my friends here a little early Christmas present. Can you set the AR biometrics to Garrus, and the shotgun ones to Tali?" The three non-humans in the office immediately locked shocked gazes onto the Commander, and his two teammates started talking as soon as they had recovered their faculties.

"Commander, this is ridiculous -" Garrus started to say.

"I can't accept this -" Tali sounded breathless.

Shepard raised his hand to silence them. "Look, I take you two on almost every drop." _Although maybe I did have to have Ashley point that out to me._ "Saren's forces have been upping the ante every time we run into them. And you can't watch my six if you're both lying on the ground bleeding out." _Plus, losing you two so soon after being dumped by Beth like yesterday's trash would probably lead to a serious case of "Spike blacks out and kills everything that draws breath. And then goes through and kills it all again."_ "So please, accept this gift from me." _And for the love of all that's holy, don't die._ Shepard could tell that Tali's mouth was still open underneath her helmet, and Garrus's mandibles were twitching uncomfortably. He smiled kindly at them both. "Besides, I just point the trigger at the bad guys and hope for the best when I use the AR and the shotgun. Tali, you're an artist with the shotgun, and Garrus, the AR sings when you wield it. You should both have the best weapons in the 'verse." Tali and Garrus shared a smile at Shepard's incredibly modest assessment of his skills with ARs and shotguns.

"Well Commander, when you put it like that, I guess I have no choice but to take it. Purely to protect you, of course." Garrus gave Shepard a grin and a wink, and Shepard gave him a mischievous smile in return.

"Thank you Shepard." Tali spoke up quietly. "This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."

Shepard moved over and put a hand on the diminutive quarian's shoulder. "It means a lot to have you watching my back."

"Don't worry Shepard; I'll watch all of you from now on!"

Shepard looked down at his friend through the glass of her helmet, trying to see if she was leering at him. _I've never heard her make a comment like that before. Was she flirting with me? Maybe she didn't realize it was a double entendre. Yeah, that's gotta be what it was. My chick-radar is just all whacked out because of that mess with Bethany. I'm probably just reading too much into what she's saying. But what if she __**was**__ flirting with me? Eh, I'll think about that when I'm back on the ship, because right now I need to wrap up my business with Viagho._

"Are you sure about this, Shepard?" Viagho asked once the trio had settled down.

"Yes. Set it up, please."

Viagho typed something into his computer, and then checked his omni-tool. When it lit up, he passed it over the four weapons in their cases.

"All set, Spectre." Viagho finished with a smile.

"Alright team, grab your new toys. And don't expect anything for your birthday, because I'm all tapped out now." _Actually, thanks to that crazy little volus Von, I'm not. But still, these really took a chunk outta my wallet._ Garrus moved directly towards the desk and cradled the AR lovingly. Shepard was surprised that Tali was still in the same spot and didn't seem to have moved. "Tali -" he began.

Tali rushed forward and hugged Shepard tightly. Surprised, it took him a half-second before he wrapped his arms around her and returned the squeeze. Tali looked up at him and said, "Thank you, Shepard. Thank you so much." _Being held in his arms feels so wonderful. Do we ever have to stop this hug?_

Shepard felt a warm feeling in his chest. _Alright there, take it easy Spike. It's just a hug. Nothing more, nothing less. So stop noticing how smooth her suit is. And stop looking down at that ass, it's not yours. And for god's sake, please stop paying so much attention to the way her breasts are squished against your chest! Damnit Spike, disengage! Quick, pull out! Heh, not something I'd ever expect to be saying to Tali. There's no way I'd be pulling out- No! She's younger than you, she's a part of your crew, and she's not the type for a one-night stand. So behave! _ He pulled her away from his body, put one hand on each of her shoulders, and looked intensely at her, straight through her helmet into her eyes. For a long moment, neither person moved.

Finally, Shepard broke the stalemate. "Thank you." He said fervently, and he saw the corners of her mouth tilt up. The sight of her wide grin did terrible things to his insides. _Okay, did I get an estrogen infusion while I was on the Arc? What the fuck is wrong with me? I should not be feeling butterflies – wait, why the hell would I have butterflies in my stomach? I'm way too manly for that. Something badass and macho takes up residence in my gut when I get nervous. Not that I'm nervous, of course. I mean, it's just Tali. Right? But even if I was nervous, I wouldn't be feeling butterflies flitting about in my stomach. No, that faux-nervous feeling is a pack of vicious velociraptors (and damn is that fun to say) chasing their next meal through my intestines. Yep, that's it. Vicious velociraptors. And saying that totally doesn't get old!_

Once he released her, they both stepped over to the desk and picked up their new weapons, still struggling to rein in their respective emotions. Shepard opened the SR, sighted down its barrel for a brief moment, then collapsed it and put it on his back, in place of the HMWSR VII that was now in his other hand. He placed the VII in the black hardcase, and picked up the pistol. He removed the HMWP VII from his hip, and put the X on the hardpoint there. Dropping the VII in the pistol's case, he suddenly moved his hand to his side, popped the HMWP off his hip and open, and pointed it at an imaginary enemy. Apparently satisfied, he collapsed the weapon and put it back on its new hardpoint. Meanwhile, Tali was swinging her new shotgun back and forth between phantom enemies, dispatching them with no trouble.

Looking away from his companions, Shepard noticed that Viagho was watching him. Shepard smiled sheepishly, and motioned to the black cases on the desk. "Would it be possible to deliver these cases and the weapons inside to the Normandy?" He asked the C-Sec officer.

"Of course, Spectre. Enjoy your new weapons."

"Oh I will." Shepard replied with a devilish grin, already thinking of the damage his team would deal out the next time they came face-to-face with an enemy. "I most certainly will." He repeated. "By the way, do you have a program that I can use to change the biometrics on the HMWs?"

The turian looked surprised. "Are you going to take the weapons away from your colleagues?" Both Tali and Garrus turned towards Shepard with fear in their eyes.

"Easy now guys, it's nothing like that." Shepard said to his teammates. "I was just thinking about the rest of the team. I was hoping I could give them my old VIIs." Tali and Garrus sighed with relief, and went back to stroking and patting their new weapons.

"Yes, I can do that." Viagho said. "Give me their names, and I'll have it done before I forward the weapons to your ship."

"Thanks, Viagho." Shepard said with a smile. Pulling up his omni-tool, he tapped in some commands. "I sent you a message with two names, and which weapon to give to whom." With those words and a smile, the human Spectre turned and motioned for his friends to follow him out.

The Spectre suddenly turned back towards the requisitions officer. "Actually, Viagho, there was something else I wanted to ask you about."

"Yes Shepard?"

"I know you don't have armor mods in stock, but I know you know where all the good stuff is sold." Shepard said with a wink. "Do you know where I could pick up a high-level kinetic exoskeleton weave?"

"Hmm. Let me think about that for a minute." The turian stared down at his desk, tapping his talons idly on the desk's surface. The steady percussive notes were interrupted suddenly as he looked up at Shepard again, a wide grin on his face. "Do you know where Chora's Den is?"

"Yes."

"Then if you look in the marketplace just across the hallway from the entrance, there's a salarian named Morlan." He looked up to see Shepard staring at him. "He has some of the best armor mods I've seen. Coincidentally, it's also where I pick up my armor, so I know he can also find some pretty nice armor sets, if you ever need an upgrade in that department. Just don't ask him where he gets his stuff."

Shepard cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? Does the fine upstanding C-Sec officer advocate purchasing goods that were illegally obtained?"

"No, nothing like that." Viagho laughed. "He has a lot of contacts with the various manufacturers, but he likes to tell stories. Everything from how difficult it is for him to acquire his goods, to why he should charge even more for them, to how every other armor set belonged to the Primarch's second son or something similar. He can be a bit ridiculous, but he finds some truly amazing merchandise."

"Thanks, Viagho."

"If he doesn't have what you're looking for, you could also check with the clinic in the wards. The doctor in there usually has some stuff to sell."

Shepard shot a smirk in Garrus's direction. "Uh huh. I'm sure Dr. Michel will be happy to see at least one of us again." _I've already been there once today, but she's pretty chill to talk to. Plus it opens up a world of awkwardness for Garrus, and that's fun for everyone! Except maybe for him. Oh well._

"What do you mean, Shepard?" Tali piped up.

"Well, let's just say that a certain human doctor might have a hankering for a certain turian ex-detective." Shepard said with an ear-to-ear grin.

"Ooh, Garrus, I didn't know you had a thing for human women." Tali teased gently.

""I don't. The Commander is imagining things." Garrus replied with a dismissive wave. A part of him, though, acknowledged that there was something tantalizing about the human woman's curvaceous body, something that just didn't happen on turian women.

"I'm not imagining anything. Whenever we stop in the clinic, she can't keep her eyes off you. And when you leave, she practically drools watching your ass walk away." _Plus, she told me all this morning. Ha ha, won't she be surprised when I come back in, dragging her eye candy with me._

"That's ridiculous." Garrus snorted.

"I agree. I have a much better ass than you do, Vakarian."

Shepard, Tali, and Garrus all burst out laughing at this. _Mmm, yes you do Spike._ Tali thought naughtily._ They could make copies of your ass and sell them as art. I would certainly buy a copy. And I have a feeling that both Ashley and Liara would purchase one as well._ Her laughter cut off abruptly as she thought of the way the other two women on the team had been ogling **her** captain, and a wave of jealousy rushed through her.

Viagho smiled at the three laughing friends and shook his head. _We're all going to die if these are the people going after Saren_, he thought to himself.

The Commander finally stopped laughing long enough to take a breath and speak. "Alright Viagho, we're gonna get out of your hair now. Thanks again for the weapons!"

"You're welcome, Spectre. Come back and visit anytime. And thank you very much for the chocolates."

"You're very welcome." Shepard replied. "Come on guys, let's get going." With that, he turned and headed for the stairs.

As they walked up the stairs and out of sight, Viagho could hear Garrus's rumbling voice roll down the stairway, saying, "Williams is going to be so jealous of this AR. I bet she cries."

Tali added her own two cents to the discussion. "And Wrex is going to try to eat me to get this shotgun."

Shepard laughed. "Well, neither of them can complain too much. Wrex is getting my old HMWSG, and Ashley is getting the HMWP."

As the voices grew fainter, Viagho could just make out Shepard say "And don't worry Tali, I'll protect you."

The last thing Viagho heard was a little "Ok" squeak out from the quarian. Then, they were gone.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

_Hot diggity damn._ Shepard let out a contented sigh as he pretended to re-read a list of missions and action tips that he'd received while on the Citadel. _That was a great fucking week. Plenty of downtime, a good chunk of time spent playing with new toys at the gun range, and lots of opportunities to shoot the breeze with my peeps. That was probably the best part of all of this, finding out that most of my crew is almost as fucked up as I am. It's sad when the only member of the team without daddy issues is Kaidan; and he's still hung up on the first chick who ever shot him down. Rahna, wasn't it? Poor guy. Too bad just getting him laid wouldn't help him, since he's got all those "emotions" and whatnot to sort through. You'd think a decade would be enough time to get over one girl. Hell, it only took me, like, a night to get over Beth. Pretty sure that's a side effect of being awesomely badass, though._

_Seriously, how did I get over her so quickly? My badassery is usually limited to blowing shit up and killing things. Matters of the heart have never really been my forte. She and I were together for what, something like six months? Granted, we didn't spend __**that**__ much time together, but we really enjoyed the time we spent together. Didn't we? But if that was the case, it would have been really hard for me to always be away. I guess that's my answer then. She and I never connected on any level other than comfort. Being together was a safe and low-maintenance way to spend my shore leave. Ouch. That's not very nice to her, is it? Not that it matters now, since she was such a bitch in our last conversation. What was I thinking about before I got sidetracked by the stupid strumpet?_

_Oh that's right, Kaidan and his love life, which is somehow even worse than mine. Maybe I should hook him up with Ashley. I bet she could find something in Scripture to help Kaidan "heal" or whatever. I can only imagine how much it must suck for Ash being held back because of something her grandpa did. Hell, I don't think the guy was even in the wrong. He made the tough call to surrender in order to save Shanxi's civilians, and I respect him for that. It's not like he had a choice against an orbital blockade. At least on Elysium I could help the civilians shoot the bad guys. He didn't have shit to work with __**but**__ prayers. Either way, props to you, old man Williams: you've got my respect. Maybe that was when Ashley's family started their devotion to God and religion and philosophy and all that jazz. Of course, it could also be because her dad died, or maybe her whole family's just a little cuckoo. From the stories she told me, that's not an impossibility. Actually, I don't think I hate Kaidan enough to get him involved with a Williams woman. Something tells me none of them would be real open to a one-night stand. _

_Ha, speaking of old men and respect, Wrex is the fuckin' dictionary definition of a crafty old bastard. I'm really glad he's on my side, rather than working for that turian prick. Well, anymore, that is. I still can't believe some of the shit he's pulled. That fight with his asari frenemy Aleena musta been something to see. I kinda wanna blow up a space station now, just so I can say I've done it too. I bet the Council would shit bricks if I did something like that. Heh, that actually makes it a more attractive idea._

_Ya know what else is an attractive idea? Liara. When we grabbed dinner together that one night, she looked fuckin' fine as hell. I mean, after seeing her mom on Noveria, I can see where she gets it, but she's got a rack most women would kill for. Large yet perky, and they look delightfully soft. Just imagining motorboating those things gives me the warm tinglies. I bet that'd be fucking great. She's really lucky that she's got the science stuff going for her, or she'd be beating guys off with sticks. Ha ha ha, I bet beating off with a stick would hurt like a motherfucker. That intelligentsia vibe she sends out makes her seem pretty unapproachable, though, so she probably doesn't have to worry. Plus, she's got some pretty kick-ass biotics loaded in the chamber for any unwanted approaches. Yet underneath all that, she's a totally adorable little nerd. The old "judging a book by its cover" thing applies to her, that's for damn sure. I wonder what she'd look like dressed up like a librarian? Ooh, or in a schoolgirl skirt and stockings? Down Spike!_

_I wonder if the other races have any weird fetishes and fantasies? I wouldn't mind hearing about an asari's, but a turian or krogan? Blech. Oh god, now I can't stop wondering what kinda kinks Garrus is hiding underneath that tough-guy exterior. No. There're no kinks. That train of thought is being forcibly derailed. I'm just gonna stick with the notion that his inner book is exactly like his cover. He's a disciple of the noble order of the badass, just like me. Alright, so maybe he's a little more righteous than I am, but so what? I can outshoot him, and that's all that __**really**__ matters at the end of the day. It sucks that he doesn't get to spend more time with his sister because of his asshole of a dad and the whole working on the Citadel thing. I wonder if I could find time to swing by Palaven; maybe drop him off for a few days? Nah, prolly wouldn't work. I'd have to do it for everybody then, in the interests of fairness. Granted, I'm not as close to anybody else as I am to him, but it'd probably cause a ruckus with somebody. Well, I guess I'm pretty close to Tali, too._

_Ah, Tali. I don't know what to make of her sometimes. I mean she keeps to herself a lot, nearly as much as me, but then she gets going about some engineering gizmo or doodad and I can hardly keep up. Can't understand a word of it, but she seems so damn happy that I'm not running away that it makes her more excited. I bet she didn't have many friends growing up. That would explain her in-depth knowledge of all things electronic and technological, as well as her insecurities when we're just talking. I'm glad she's been opening up more during our meals together. Come on, Spike, call them what they are: dates. You can't get enough of spending time with her and you know it._

A knock on his door yanked Shepard from his recollections. _Ah shit. Maybe I should just send all this crap to Joker and have him put together our list of course headings. He did a pretty decent job of it last time, and I'm certainly not making any progress. Probably because I have no interest in doing paperwork-type bullshit, but still. Meh, why not?_

"Enter." He called out, before sending the list of missions and potential jobs to Joker with a note reading, "You know what to do. And if you don't, take a wild guess. And if you're wrong, I'll tell everyone about what happened while we were at Flux two nights ago." The door slid open, revealing the quarian about whom he had just been reminiscing. A wide smile split his face as he got up to give her a hug, something he'd been doing more and more over the last two days. _Think of an angel, and she shall appear! Okay, that's a bit heavy-handed. Never say that again, Spike. Giving Tali a hug is a pretty phenomenal experience though. She's squishy in all the right places, yet delightfully sturdy in others. And the best part is that I don't need to feel guilty about hugging her, or showing her attention, or pondering that the feelings I have for her may be romantic, because I'm a free man again! No more worries about what some bitch would think. Huh, maybe I'm not quite as over Beth as I thought it was. No matter. I've got a sexy lady in my arms, therefore life is good._

Tali relaxed into his embrace. _Keelah, I could get used to this. His arms are so strong, and his body is so warm, I could probably fall asleep in his embrace._ She was sad when he pulled away and motioned her to a chair.

"To what do I owe this wonderful visit, Tal?" Shepard asked, his smile still firmly in place.

"Nothing important." Tali shrugged. "I just really enjoyed spending time with you over the last few days, and wanted to get in a little more before you get back into 'fierce Commander Shepard' mode."

"Do you really think I have modes, Tali?"

"Yes. You have your angry business one, your professional business one, your funny yet defensive one, your 'don't get in my way' one, and your kind, caring, wonderful one. I like the last one the best." She blushed underneath her helmet at her impromptu admission.

Shepard's grin got even wider, although he hadn't thought such a thing could be possible. "Thanks, Tal. It's really nice to hear you say that." Then he winked at her. "And I like spending time alone with you too."

Tali's brain suddenly kicked into overdrive, imagining how nice some true "alone time" with Shepard would be. These thoughts caused a warm feeling to spread through her body. Suddenly, she remembered something else that she had wanted to say. "Oh! Spike?"

"Yeah?" He looked at her expectantly.

"I wanted to thank you again for getting me the Lightweight Colossus X armor. It's beautiful! And amazing! I never knew something so strong could feel so light. The two exoskeleton designs you got for us make it even better. Also, Garrus wanted me to pass on his thanks as well, again, for the Medium-weight Silverback X armor."

"You two don't have to keep thanking me. I was busy buying myself that Medium-weight Predator M X set, and I couldn't just buy something for myself but not get you two anything. Besides, I bought the schematic for those two exoskeletons so the whole team could use them, not just me or you or Garrus."

"I know. You've just been so wonderful this week, and it's so nice to see you happy, especially after what happened-" She suddenly went quiet, realizing what she had been about to let slip. _Please don't notice that, Spike._ She thought hopefully.

"After **what** happened, Tali?" As Shepard spoke, the ambient noise in the cabin seemed to disappear, as though the Normandy herself knew a storm was approaching. _I really hope she's about to talk about killing Benezia; or when I spilled beer on my favorite shirt when I was out with Garrus, Kaidan and Wrex; or something equally as unimportant._

"Um." _Oh Ancestors, why did I open my mouth? Now what can I tell him? I know he expects to hear something, but I can't tell him the truth. He'd be so angry._ As she scrambled frantically for a lie while staring down at the table, her conscience spoke up. _I have to tell him the truth, he's my captain. And he's been so good to me. How many people would have taken in a quarian? All he's done is protect me, take care of me, and make me a better person. He deserves the truth, even if it makes him mad at me. It's my fault for spying on him, anyway. Well, mine, and Garrus's, and Joker's. But he doesn't need to know about their involvement._ She drew a deep breath, and then whispered her confession. "When you went onto Arcturus station, I was really worried about you so I hacked into the camera and watched you to make sure you weren't in trouble." He stared at her expectantly. "And we saw your girlfriend break up with you."

Shepard drew several deep breaths, fighting to keep his raging temper in check. "You said 'we.' Who exactly is 'we?'" He asked, doing a masterful job of keeping his voice even and non-threatening.

Tali gulped. _I just decided that I wouldn't tell him about Garrus and Joker, and I did it anyway! Tali, you can be such a stupid bosh'tet sometimes!_ Seeing no choice but to continue to tell him the truth, she kept her head down and answered his question. "It was me, Garrus, and Joker. But Spike, we were just worried about you, and didn't want to see anything happen to you!" She finally raised her head to look at him, and the sight that met her eyes drove the air from her lungs.

Shepard was staring at a spot on the wall just above her head, and his breathing was steady. If she didn't know him, she would have guessed that he was fine. However, his face was the same cold mask of stone that she had seen when Bethany had broken up with him. His gray eyes looked like the clouds that carry a thunderstorm: dark as slate, roiling with power, and promising violence. As she stared, transfixed and petrified; like the mouse that can't look away from the eyes of the viper; the emotion that his eyes carried disappeared, until those expressive orbs were as dead as the rest of his face.

_God fucking damnit! I was having such a great week. Can I please make it through one goddamn trip to the Citadel without everything going to hell in a hand basket? Just once, I'd like fate to pick somebody else to be its bitch for a little while. Like, a week maybe? Is that too much to ask? Fucking goddamn shithole ass fuckers. And here I thought they were my friends. My fucking __**friends**__! Friends don't go behind each other's backs and spy on each other like little bitches. If they wanted to know something, why the fuck didn't they just ask? I'da probably told 'em it was none of their damn business, but that decision should be mine to make! Not theirs! Fuck! Alright Spike, don't freak out. Just play it calm and cool, and get her out of here. You know how to deal with anger; you're a champ at it!_ "Thank you for visiting, Tali. I have some work to do, so please go back to Engineering."

It took her a moment to realize that he was dismissing her. For the briefest second, she considered arguing her point, and trying to explain that their actions were just a reflection of how much they cared about him. Then she remembered the threat that his eyes had carried, and realized that attempting to resist Shepard's order would be a painful mistake. Suppressing a shiver, she held her posture straight as she got up and walked out of his cabin. A few seconds after the door closed behind her, she heard the unmistakable sound of a chair crashing against the wall and then shattering into pieces. Silent tears started to run down her face as she considered her relationship with the man inside that room. She knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that that man was her captain; and a part of her knew with equal certainty that she felt things for him that were decidedly romantic. With a heavy heart, she realized that whatever that relationship may have been, it now lay in shattered pieces, like one of Shepard's chairs, on the other side of the door.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter 34

_Ya know, I kinda thought I'd be struggling to control my anger towards Joker, what with his being a backstabbing, trust-yanking wanker and all. Surprisingly enough, though, I feel pretty calm. Really calm, actually. Like a fucking millpond. Oh, I'm sure shrinks and the like would have a field day, saying that I should be feeling __**something**__ after such an egregious invasion of privacy. But I guess since I don't really care what those overpaid quacks think, it doesn't matter. Ooh, plus, I'm a Spectre, so if they piss me off, I can just throw 'em in lockup for a few days. Or shoot them. God damn, power does have its advantages, doesn't it Spike? And speak of the devil; I finally made it to the bridge._ "How long until we hit the Strenuus system?"

Joker jumped at hearing Shepard's voice appear out of nowhere. "Ah, jeez, Commander. Are you ever going to stop sneaking up on me?" He cast a quick look back at Shepard, and saw that the man was fully outfitted for battle. _How can he be so freaking quiet in that much armor?_

"I don't sneak up on anyone, helmsman." Shepard replied with a negative shake of his head. "Now answer my question."

"Oh, right. Uh, roughly 90 seconds."

_Damn I'm good._ Shepard grinned victoriously. The cockpit remained silent until the Normandy dropped out of FTL and Shepard could see the yellow dwarf that gave the system its name. "Lieutenant, we're looking for a ship registered as the 'Majesty.' Her last reported contact was in this system somewhere, so see if you can find any trace of her."

Joker suffered through the uncomfortable silence for several minutes until he found something on the scanners. "Commander?"

"What is it?"

"I've got a ship on the mid-range scanners. Kowloon class, just like the Majesty."

"Excellent. Get us closer." Shepard stood and enjoyed the peacefulness of flying through space for a long ten minutes, while Joker began to fidget nervously. Ignoring his pilot's unease, Shepard pondered what he was going to do with his ground team. _I obviously can't take Vakarian and Zorah with me anymore, since I'm having some major fucking trust issues right now. Shocking, innit? Ah hell, that sucks! They just got top-of-the-line armor and weapons, thanks to yours truly. Damn it! Get over it and move on, Spike. So, I have Wrex, Liara, Kaidan, and Ash. Hmm. I should just split them up into two teams of two, that way they can spend time working together and getting to know each other the way Zorah and Vakarian have. Easiest thing to do would be to stick the two humans together on one side, and the two non-humans together on the other; that way I don't have to deal with Ashley's xenophobia. But that seems like it's not only the easy way out, but also a waste of resources. My gut's telling me that Ash can handle being paired up with an alien. Which one though, is the question._

_Eenie, meenie, miney, moe. Alright. I'll put Ash and Liara together. They should complement each other well, since Liara's a pure biotic, although her weapon skills have improved considerably, given where they were a month ago. Ash is a true soldier: I tell her where to go, and she goes. And shoots stuff along the way. Although I'd be lying if I said that having two wickedly hot women following me around doesn't do something for me. Because it does. A lot of something, actually. Imagine riding the tricycle with those two- no. I'm busy right now. Daydreams about having hot 'n' nasty monkey sex with two uber-hotties are for later. As far as the Wrex and Kaidan team goes, they're a good mix of tech, biotics, and weapons. I like them together. Plus, both teams have a more dominant, second-in-command type, namely Ash and Wrex; but they each have a thinker too, in Kaidan and Liara. Those two teams worked out alright when we were running through the sims on Pinnacle Station too, so if they bitch about it I can tell them that I have proof of the potency of the pairings. Ooh, nice alliteration. Alright, that's the plan, and it's fucking perfect. You're one brilliant hombre, you know that Spike? Oh look, we're here._ "Joker, scan the ship. Make sure it's the Majesty, and see if there's anybody still alive."

Joker worked over the instruments for a short time, then looked up at Shepard to give his report. "It is the Majesty, Commander. Scans detect no life signs, either. From what I can tell, the inside of the ship is stripped completely bare."

Shepard instantly knew what he was dealing with. "Privateers." He spat out. "Joker, find out where that ship came from. Now."

"On it." Joker worked for another thirty seconds, and then looked up again. "Radiation trails from the Majesty's engines lead back to the planet Xawin."

Shepard nodded. "Pull up the bio for Xawin." Joker complied, and Shepard looked it over quickly. _Fuck. Goddamn place is fucking cold as balls. Oh, and nearly constant ice storms? These bastards are intelligent. I expect them to have some substantial defenses in place before we even get into their base. So much for a fucking cakewalk._ "Alright. We're dropping in the Mako in fifteen minutes." Before Joker could say another word, Shepard walked away, heading for the crew deck.

_Well, that was odd._ Joker thought to himself. _Shepard wasn't, like, mad or anything, but he seemed kinda cold and distant. Maybe he's having a delayed reaction to the break-up? Oh well. I'm sure he'll just take out his frustrations on the privateers._

Shepard remembered to collect Kaidan and Liara from the crew deck before all three took the elevator down to the hangar. Once there, Shepard motioned to Ashley and Wrex, and the five of them made a little circle, just in front of the team's lockers.

"Alright, listen up. It has recently been brought to my attention that you four feel like you've been getting the shaft when it comes to going groundside. Well, that's gonna change." _You da man, Spike! Way to spin the fact that you don't want anything to do with the other two members of the ground team and make it about these four. You sure you aren't related to Udina?_ Suppressing his instinctual urge to vomit at that thought, Shepard continued. "I've decided to split you four up, into two teams of two. And I gave considerable thought to balancing the teams' abilities, so please, no whinging about your partners. Ash and Liara? You'll be one team; Kaidan and Wrex, you'll be the other. I want you to spend a little time when you're off duty getting to know each other so that in the field things go smoothly."

"Now, about today's mission. We've found a privateer base, so I think it's gonna get messy. Kaidan and Wrex, you're on. Get your shit together and let's go kick some ass. Also, the planet's rated as a level one cold hazard, so make sure you button everything up. Join me in the Mako when you're done. We drop in seven."

When Shepard walked away, Liara turned to Ashley. "Chief Williams?"

Ashley sighed. _I can't believe Shepard stuck me with the whiny one. I know I've been trying to be nicer to all the aliens, because he wanted me to, but this is ridiculous. God, Shepard, I hope you know what you're doing._ "What is it, Liara?"

"I was wondering if you could tell me if there's any difference between 'privateers' and 'pirates?'"

A flicker of surprise crossed Ashley's face. "And you wanted to ask me? What for? Why not ask Shepard? You two seemed to be getting pretty cozy while we were docked at the Citadel." _I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I am! Even though he spent just as much time in private with me, it still bothers me. I so want to see Shepard au natural, but he won't bite! Although maybe I put him off with that comment about how it was "against regulations" to kiss a superior officer. He should know I'm kidding. How could he not? He's intelligent, strong, successful, N7, and absolutely drop-dead gorgeous! What straight woman wouldn't be throwing herself at him, regulations be damned? I guess I can't fault Liara for trying, then. I just hope he picks me, and not her._

"Yes, I wanted to ask you. Shepard said that we would be working in tandem alongside him. I realize that things have always been tense between us, but I am willing to make an effort to become more, friendly, I suppose, with you. I do not want the Commander to get hurt one day, because we allowed a personal grievance to compromise our professional responsibilities. As to your question and comment about Shepard and I, he seems to be rather busy preparing for the mission right now. I did not want to distract him. To be honest, I cannot say that the Commander does not intrigue me. He is a very . . . unique person. I find myself drawn towards him, despite knowing that he is not likely to find me attractive." Liara finished with her eyes turned downward and her arms held protectively across her chest.

_Damn her! I could get pissed off at her for bothering me, for trying to become my friend, or even for trying to get into Shepard's pants. But if she just wants to keep him safe, how can I argue with that? I suppose she has a point. We don't have to be friends, but we will have to be, at the very least, cordial. On a side not, how can she imply that he won't find her attractive? I have absolutely no interest in ever being with another woman, but even I have to admit that Liara has a great body. Not as good as mine, but still pretty good._ "Alright, Liara. I'll try to explain it to you. First, though, I'll tell you a secret as long as you promise never to reveal who told you."

Liara perked up. "I promise."

"Okay. I don't think Shepard finds you unattractive. I've seen him checking you out, especially your chest. That's an obvious sign that he likes your body."

"Thank you, Chief." Liara gave the other woman a real smile. "I have seen him do the same to you, only his eyes tend to linger on your backside, especially when you're walking away."

This made Ashley grin. _So you like my ass, Shepard? I wonder which one you like more, Liara's tits, or my tush? Mmmm, I wonder if he wants to spank it. Maybe if being subtle doesn't work, I'll try the more direct approach. "Shepard, do you think I have a spankable ass?" That would be so much fun. I suppose I can answer Liara's question now. She's been rather nice the last few minutes, so I guess she's earned it._

"Liara, call me Ashley. We're gonna be working together, so we may as well drop the formality." Liara smiled back at her. "Now, to the difference between pirates and privateers. Pirates will procure a ship somehow, then fly around until they find another ship, one that looks like it might be valuable or have valuable things in it. Then they forcibly dock with the other ship, board it, and kill or capture everyone on board. If the new ship is nicer than their old one, they transfer anything of value to the new ship, and leave the old one floating around. Then they go looking for another target, and the process repeats."

"What if the new ship is of less value than their current vessel?" Liara asked.

"In that case, they take whatever they can sell on the black market off the captured ship before flying away. Occasionally, they will try to ransom someone off. Usually that just gets the pirates killed though." Ashley stopped, making sure that Liara was following her explanation. "Privateers are a different animal. They set up a base somewhere, then send out sorties to capture ships. The captured ships are brought back to their base, where everyone is killed, the ship is gutted, then the ship is released to drift amongst the stars, an empty shell with no trace of where it came from."

"I see." Liara looked like she regretted asking Ashley to explain the distinction.

"Privateers are harder to deal with than pirates. Pirates, you can just blow up their ship, or board it and clear it. Privateers have a tendency to have well-fortified or well-hidden base stations, making them a real tough nut to crack." Ashley finished her lecture, and looked to Liara for any more questions.

"Thank you for explaining that, Ashley. You said that privateer bases are often heavily fortified; could that be a problem for Shepard?"

"Nah." Ashley waved her concern away. "Shepard's the best. And I mean that literally. Those privateers won't know what hit them. In fact, why don't we go up to the mess hall and watch the mission via Shepard's helmet cam. Then we can not only watch what he does to the privateers, but we can also try to get a better idea of how he functions in a combat environment. You know, what he sees, what he doesn't see, where he focuses his fields of fire, that sort of thing. It'll probably make us a better team when we go out together." _I can't believe I haven't been doing that already. Being in space has made me stop thinking about the little things. Get it together, Chief!_

"Okay!" Liara agreed cheerfully. _I'm glad that Ashley and I are beginning to form a relationship. Is this why Shepard paired the two of us up together?_

* * *

"Hey Tali." Garrus said as he approached the engineer at her workstation. "Got a minute?"

"I suppose, Garrus." She answered, as she turned away from her console.

_I wonder why she's staring at the ground. Is something wrong? If she doesn't feel well, perhaps I should come back later to talk to her._ "If you're feeling 'under the weather' as Shepard would say, I can come back later."

Surprisingly, Shepard's name made her shoulders hunch inwards even more. _That's surprising. I thought she and Shepard were getting along rather well, based on how much time they spent together while we were docked at the Citadel. Although maybe something happened between them, which would explain why he hasn't taken the two of us out on any of the last four missions. Apparently, Tali and I are a package deal, so either one of us could cause us both to be grounded._

"No, I'm not sick." Tali responded quietly, still staring at the ground.

"Ok then. I was wondering if you had any idea why the Commander hasn't taken us out for missions lately? I understand that he wanted to work the other four members of the team into more groundwork, but something seems off. He's barely looked at me since we left the Citadel, which was over a week ago."

At Garrus's words, Tali suddenly broke down and started sobbing. Worried, Garrus stepped closer and put his arm around the diminutive quarian. "It's okay, Tali. What's wrong?"

_I wish it were Shepard with his arm around me._ Tali thought while trying, unsuccessfully, to control her emotions. _But now I've ruined it, probably forever. He'll never touch me again after I betrayed his trust. I wouldn't be surprised if he leaves me behind on the next major planet we stop at, so he doesn't have to see me anymore. How could I have been such a fool? And to make matters worse, I hurt his relationship with Garrus too. I'm just a stupid little girl. It's no wonder he never looked at me the way he looks at Ashley and Liara. And now he never will._

"I'm s-sorry, Garrus." She managed to choke out. "It's all m-my fault."

Garrus's heart seemed to stop for a sickeningly long period of time, before starting up again and accelerating to mach one. "What do you mean, it's your fault? Why would something you did, if you did anything, change when Shepard takes us with him on missions?"

"I accidentally let slip that we spied on him while he was on Arcturus Station, and that we saw his girlfriend break up with him."

Garrus looked as if somebody had just kicked him in the balls. _By the spirits, Tali, what were you thinking?! How could you tell him that? Of course he won't take us with him anymore, he probably feels like the three of us violated his trust. I would never expect him to bring someone he doesn't trust on a combat operation._ "Why did you tell him that, Tali?" Garrus struggled not to shout at the defeated-looking quarian. "I thought we agreed not to mention what we had seen to him."

"I know we did." Tali hiccupped. "Do you think I meant to tell him? He just makes me feel so relaxed and comfortable that I forgot I was supposed to be keeping a secret from him. Well, I used to feel that way around him." _Now I feel like nothing more than a fre'eg that he can't scrape off. Ancestors, I've never felt so worthless in my life. Not even when mother died._

"No, I suppose you didn't mean to tell him. But the fact of the matter is that you did, and now you've put all three of us in an untenable situation. To make matters worse, I don't have any idea how to fix the problem, either." _She's obviously beating herself up about this. And, I would place even odds on her being distraught for all three of us, not just herself. Still, a part of me feels like her guilt is well deserved._

"I don't know either, Garrus." _I wish I did, though._

"Perhaps we can wait it out. If we give him a few more days, he might calm down enough to where he feels comfortable working with us again." _I doubt that will work, however. I know that a few days would never be enough for me to just forgive and forget what the three of us did. Additionally, based on the stories Shepard's told me, my gut instinct says that leaving him to forgive us on his own is the very definition of a fool's hope._

"Maybe you're right, Garrus." Tali said glumly.

"Well, that's what we'll have to do then." Garrus said, attempting to sound positive. "And in a few days, if he is still avoiding us, we'll go get Joker and the three of us can attempt to apologize again. I think if we tried that now, he would likely drop us on the next planet with sentient life on it." _If we were lucky. Yes, forcing the issue right now would likely be disastrous. With time, we should be able to make him see reason. After all, Tali is the best weapon he has against the geth, and I'm the best pure shooter on the team, next to him. He'll need us before the end. We just have to make certain that we get back in his good graces before that point._

"Okay, Garrus." Tali answered.

"Good bye, Tali." With that, Garrus turned and headed back towards the hangar bay. _Maybe I can do something to improve the Mako. He loves that vehicle, so improving it might in turn improve his opinion of me._


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter 35

_Life has been surprisingly on the northern side of shitty lately. I mean yeah, two of my closest friends and my pilot did go behind my back and spy on me a while ago; and having to let those scientists die to stop that batarian piece of shit on X57 sucked a whole lotta dick, but other than that, things have been pretty damn okay. A week of shooting things and talking to the other members of my ground team seems to be bringing me back to an even keel. Plus it's kinda cool watching Ashley and Liara start to actually spend time together outside of missions. Something still seems a little off with those two, but I'm not gonna try to figure out what. They're women, and therefore incomprehensible. Unless maybe it's unresolved sexual tension, in which case I want in! Ugh, I need to get laid. Maybe one of them would like to resolve their tension with – No. Down boy. Think about something else . . . Tali! And Garrus and Joker. Grrr. I just don't know what to do about the trio of fuckups. I still wanna be pissed off at them, but that damn reasonable side of me keeps saying it wasn't that bad, and I should let it go. Oh good, someone's knocking on my door. Guess I don't get a chance to argue with myself after all._ "It's open!"

The imposing figure of Urdnot Wrex stood in the entrance to Shepard's cabin. "Wrex! Good to see you. Whatcha need?"

"I noticed that we were in Argos Rho, Shepard."

Shepard grinned wryly. "Ah, ya picked up on that, didja? I guess that's not surprising, considering you were right there next to me squishing the rachni on that space station. What was it called? Depot 23 or something like that? Did it bring back memories, Wrex?"

The krogan's only response was to continue to level Shepard with a glare that would terrify an entire turian fleet. Shepard just chuckled, and continued speaking. "I see you're not to be deterred. Well don't worry; we're on the way to Tuntau now. If that profiteer is on that planet, we'll find him. I assume you want to come with me?"

Wrex just gave a grunt of assent.

"Right then." Shepard couldn't hold in a small grin. _Wrex is so fucking hilarious to talk to. Well, talk __**at**__ may be more accurate. I swear he's the quietest person I've ever met. Maybe after we track down his family's armor he'll be open to a bit more social interaction with me and the rest of the crew. But I gotta find the armor first._ "So you, me, and Kaidan will head on down to Tuntau – which I noticed is yet another planet that is cold as balls, by the way – and we'll see if we can't find this Tonn Actus guy and beat the location of your family armor outta him. Speaking of beatings. Joker!" Shepard turned his face to the sensor/speaker combination that connected to the shipwide intercom.

"You rang?" Joker's voice came out of the ceiling.

"ETA to Tuntau?" Shepard's tone was clipped, barely inflecting the end of the sentence upwards in order to indicate his question.

"Fifty-five minutes, Commander."

"That will be all, Helmsman." With that said, Shepard turned back to Wrex. "Any problems with dropping in the Mako in fifty-five minutes with me and Kaidan?"

"No." Was the krogan's monosyllabic response.

"Alrighty then. You wanna hang out here and trade war stories 'til then? I know you told me about your dad, and that job with Saren you abandoned, and that fight with the asari chick, Aleena, but that can't be all. I know you've been in more battles than that."

Wrex moved forward and sat down in the chair opposite Shepard, but otherwise gave no indication that he'd decided to share any more of himself than he already had. After a brief silence, he spoke. "And you, Shepard?"

"Come again?" Shepard asked, a look of mild confusion on his face.

"I've told you three stories. You haven't told me any."

"Oh." _Huh. I guess he's right. Come to think of it, I'm usually the listener not the talker with everybody. Wonder why that is? I'll have to think on that later, because I've got a krogan giving me a "thoughtful" look, and I've gotta take advantage._ "You're right, Wrex. So how about we make a deal: from now on, we go tit for tat on stories. Sound good to you?"

"Yes. Now tell me about Elysium."

"Whoa there Wrex, I let you pick your own stories, so what makes you think you get to tell me what I share with you? And why am I going first?"

"You owe me." The krogan's eyes seemed to glint with suppressed mirth.

_If I didn't know better, I'd almost think Wrex is taking the piss outta me._ "If I tell you the about Elysium, we're square. **And** you tell me how you got that massive scar on your face and headplate."

Wrex stared Shepard down, and the human didn't flinch. At length, the massive krogan acquiesced. "Fine. Now talk."

Shepard chuckled again. _Gods above, I love Wrex. In a totally platonic, bro-ish way._ "Fine. So I was on Elysium with a buddy of mine from basic. In the Alliance, after you finish basic training, you can choose to pursue one of three specializations. To learn to be what the Alliance calls a 'vanguard,' a front line specialist adept at using biotics and heavy or close quarters weapons to carve a path through the enemy, usually takes about 18 months. It takes about two years of extra training to become the second specialization, a 'sentinel.' Sentinels use biotics and tech together, which requires some heavy modification to their omni-tools and their biotic implants, since otherwise the two don't play well together. To learn the last specialization, 'infiltrators,' is supposed to take about 28 months. We use stealth when we need to, but we're also good at force application and maximization."

Shepard took a quick drink of water. "Right, back to the story. I had gone for infiltrator training, obviously, and made it my goal to finish it before my buddy got back from his first deployment. He was stationed with Sixth Fleet, who're usually patrolling the Exodus Cluster, 'showing force' and all that bullshit. I ended up finishing training about two weeks before Brian, that was my buddy's name, got back. We were both gonna have about two weeks of leave together, so we agreed to meet up on Elysium for some R 'n' R. We met up in Illyria, Elysium's capital, as planned, found a cheap hotel room we could split since neither of us wanted to have anything to do with the Alliance for a few days, and life was good. For less than a fucking week, anyway."

Shepard hesitated before continuing his tale. _Christ, I haven't told anybody about what happened on Elysium since the Alliance investigators in the aftermath. And here I am about to spill my guts to Wrex the imperturbable. I guess if I've gotta talk about it it's better to do so with somebody who can probably understand. Out of everybody else on this boat, Wrex probably has the most experience with this kinda shit, so I suppose he's a good choice. Besides, if I want them all to trust me I've gotta give a little something back, right?_

"So. Five days into our glorious two weeks of leave, the warning klaxons start going off, which means an attack is imminent. Being the idiots that we were, Brian and I headed for the nearest Alliance posting, to see if there was something we could do to help. When we got there, we managed to get far enough in to hear what was going on. The early reports were that an entire fleet of pirate ships had just popped up in system, and were attacking the Alliance ships in orbit. At that time, there was only a three-frigate flotilla in orbit around the planet; I know the Agincourt was there, and I think the other two frigates were the El Alamein and the Kursk. The local brass was going nuts over the fact that apparently the entire pirate population of the Terminus System had decided to attack Elysium. While the frigates were doing their best to wipe out as many of the pirates as possible, a bunch of the enemy ships broke off and made for the planet. Only about five of them made it through the air defenses at first, but one of those was a freighter that was packed to the gills with pirates. Or so we thought.

It turns out that it wasn't just pirates we had to deal with; there were a whole bunch of batarians there who wanted a chance to kill some humans. As soon as the ships landed, enemies just started pouring out of them. A few minutes later, another wave of pirates landed, and then another. I think they managed to get about forty or fifty ships down to the ground, throughout the course of the battle. At this point, Illyria was in chaos. People were running around screaming and yelling, and just generally panicking. So the highest Alliance officer should have been a Lieutenant Commander, but he was laid up in the infirmary. Therefore, the next guy up was a Lieutenant. Jameson, I think his name was. He took charge as soon as he saw the pirates and batarians heading for the city, and started dispatching soldiers to get as many civilians as possible into defensible locations. Within a half hour, we had the streets cleared of people and had some basic defensive points set up. I had requisitioned a sniper rifle and a pistol from the armory and made a nest on top of the capitol building, which was the tallest building in the city. From my vantage point, I could see the first waves of invaders running into our picket lines. As soon as first contact was initiated, I just started laying waste to anything that had four eyes. Probably had a dozen kills within ten minutes of the start of fighting."

Shepard took a deep breath. "And that was when things really started going to hell. I saw a group of batarians wipe out the Alliance team at one of the places we had crammed a bunch of civilians into. I think it was a warehouse of some kind, no windows and pretty sturdy. I immediately radioed in to the LT and told him I was going to rescue some civilians. He said ok, and told me to just bring them back to the capitol building with me. I grabbed Brian on the way out and together we headed for the warehouse. The batarians weren't doing a very good job of watching all the approach points, so we were able to get pretty close before they noticed us. As soon as it looked like we were losing the element of surprise, me and Brian opened up. I was using a pistol, he had an AR, and we were doing a halfway-decent job. We had cleared the street and were about to check the building when another pair of batarians came around the corner. I can only guess that they heard the fighting and thought it sounded like fun or something. One of 'em had a rocket launcher, the other one had a shotgun. I engaged the guy with the shotgun with my pistol, and managed to put him down pretty quickly. Brian took on the dude with the rocket launcher, and opened fire. Unfortunately that batarian was one of the few who had armor with a built-in shield generator. He was probably one of their squad or platoon leaders or something. Anyway, before Brian could punch through the shields and then the armor, the guy got off one missile. It ended up hitting pretty close to Brian, but we were standing near enough to each other that I was thrown down by the blast as well. It took me a bit to pull myself together, but when I did, I saw Brian laying against the side of the building, crumpled into a limp pile.

The batarian had his back to me, and was chortling at Brian's attempts to move. I was still struggling to get up without attracting his attention, so there wasn't much I could do about it. Nonetheless, when that bastard pulled a pistol and aimed it at Brian, I got a shot of adrenaline from somewhere. I wasn't gonna let that cocksucker execute my best friend! So I threw myself to my feet, pulled my knife, and dove at him. Me hitting him full in the back made his shot go high, missing Brian. I didn't have that problem with my knife, and hit the fucker dead-on. It ripped through his neck, only leaving his head attached to his shoulders by a piece of skin and tissue that was **maybe** two inches thick. The sudden effort of killing him to save Brian threw me for a loop, so I pretty much collapsed right on top of his body. I managed to crawl over to Brian and activated a quick medical program to see what I could do to help him. The report came back as practically all red in the torso, which meant heavy internal bleeding. Just looking at that scan, I knew there was no way I was gonna be able to fix him, even if I had mountains of medi-gel at my disposal. So I just sat there and held him while he died, which didn't take more than a minute or two."

Shepard rubbed his forehead, trying to drive away the images of Brian's bloody and battered body. After another quick sip of water, he had cleared his mind enough to finish the story. "After Brian died, I kinda lost it. I ran inside, yelled at the civilians to follow me, and then led them back to the capitol building. Then I heard over the radio that the LT had been killed when the batarians and pirates attacked the Alliance HQ en masse. After some discussion, I found out that I was now the highest-ranking Alliance officer present. As such, I got operational command. I ordered all the Alliance soldiers to fall back and create a perimeter on and in the buildings around the capitol building, and gave a weapon to every civilian who wanted one and directed them to take up position looking out the capitol's windows. I told everybody that they were fully weapons free, and to kill as many of the sons of bitches as they could. Then I took my sniper rifle up to the roof and started laying waste to anything that moved within my scope. At one point they broke a small hole in our perimeter by blowing up half of a building and trying to run through the rubble. Luckily, the rubble slowed them down enough for me to put down the first six of the little pricks who tried to make it across, and that delayed any further attempts to punch through long enough for me to shuffle some reinforcements over that way and plug up the hole.

Four hours later or so, the frigates had managed to drive off the last of the pirates after destroying over 80% of their ships. At that point, they were able to land some marines to come in and help break the siege. Within an hour, the pirates and batarians had been squeezed into a thin cordon between my men and the new troops, and we absolutely decimated them. A few survived to be pumped for information and tried, but I'd estimate 97% casualties for their forces on the ground. Between civilians and Alliance, we lost about 200. The only Alliance left from the original Elysium detachment were a half dozen medical corpsmen, an ensign who had been manning the main radio transmitter, and two lance corporals. The marines from space had only had one KIA and another man wounded. Probably three-quarters of our dead were civilians. But in the end, we won and the bad guys lost, so I guess things didn't turn out too bad. Right after the Blitz the Alliance approached me about the ICT program, and my career took off from there. They also gave me the Star of Terra for my part in the battle. Something about taking command of a desperate situation, holding the line, and killing a whole lotta bad guys by myself made me 'worthy.' Fucking bullshit, but it's not like I had a say in the matter. I was just doing my job, and taking a little too much pleasure in killing those gods-forsaken bastards."

"How many?" Wrex asked.

Shepard didn't need to ask for clarification. "Without a helmet-cam, the exact number is impossible to know. Alliance investigators put the conservative number at a smidge over three hundred. One quarter of the invading force. Some investigators think the percentage could be as high as a third, but that doesn't feel right. If they had bothered to ask me, I'da said around 325, plus or minus a dozen."

When Shepard finished speaking, he looked across at Wrex. The big krogan peered back across the table with an inscrutable expression. Eventually, Joker's voice broke the silence.

"Uh, Commander? Tuntau in fifteen minutes."

Shepard didn't bother to reply to the pilot; instead, he stood up and motioned for Wrex to precede him out of the cabin. Wrex stood up, and spoke. "I understand." His piece said, the krogan turned and walked out of the cabin.

As Shepard made to catch up to his krogan comrade, he pondered Wrex's words. _I suppose he does. We're just two peas cut outta the same cloth, aren't we?_


	36. Chapter 36

Chapter 36

"So your family armor's probably inside this building, eh Wrex?" Shepard asked as he, Wrex, and Kaidan all exited the Mako after driving all over Tuntau looking for Tonn Actus's hidden base.

"Yes."

"Righty-ho." Shepard thought for a minute. "Any chance that nobody's home, and we can make this a heist rather than an assault?" Kaidan and Wrex both turned to look incredulously at him. "Oh come on, don't be like that! A guy can hope, can't he?" Seeing their heads shake in the negative, he sighed. "Fine. Shotguns out then, until we know what the inside of this place looks like." _God I hate going in blind. One of these days, it's gonna come back to bite me in the ass, I just know it._

The team stacked up outside the only visible access door to the base. As soon as Shepard hacked through the locking mechanism, they piled through the doorway and found themselves in an antechamber of sorts. The whole room was empty, with the only break from the monotonous walls being the door that they just came through, and another door ahead that would take them further into the base. "Ok. We're gonna open up this next door, but not go through. Hopefully they won't be expecting an attack, and we'll have a second to take the lay of the land." Wrex and Kaidan nodded their heads in confirmation of the order, and then proceeded to get in position alongside the doorway. With a few deft strokes of his hand, Shepard hacked through the controls on the door and it popped open.

The team tensed as they waited for a hail of gunfire to welcome their intrusion. After a few seconds that felt like hours, the three crewmembers of the Normandy relaxed their shoulders and let their grip on their weapons loosen infinitesimally. Shepard took advantage of the apparent peace of the situation and stuck his head out, taking in the room with a quick glance. That done, he turned to his team. "Alright, so this is probably gonna be messy. The whole place is full of crates, drive core parts, boxes, shelves, crates, canisters, wheels, weapons, electronic equipment, crates, and other random shit. Oh, and did I mention the sheer number of fucking crates? There're probably about two useful sightlines in this whole goddamn place. So it'll be CQB for the most part. If they've got anybody with ranged capabilities, they'll probably pop up at those two spots as soon as we start shooting. One spot is all the way at the back corner of the building, and has a direct view of the door. The other one is up high, and looks like it covers the chokepoint between this quarter of the building and the rest of it. So keep an eye out for possible snipers in both of those locations. Wrex, describe Tonn Actus to me, in as much detail as possible."

"He's a turian. White colony markings, green eyes, brown skin. Just under two meters tall, ninety-five to one-hundred kilos."

"Sweet. I caught a glimpse of him, then. I can probably get him from here, but it'll be a tough shot and I'll be a bit exposed. I can take him out, but you'll need to be ready to put the hammer down on anybody who decides to avenge their fallen leader. Can you do that?"

Wrex grinned, a terrifyingly evil look on his ancient face. Kaidan nodded, looking away from the krogan's expression with more than a bit of fear in his body language. Shepard just chuckled, quietly.

"Ok then. I'm going out." As he said this, Shepard pulled out his sniper rifle and crouched down, practically sitting on the ground. Then he began his slow creep forward, looking for just the right place from which to take his shot. _Hmm. There's gonna be a tiny ass window, so I probably want something I can use as a shooting bench. I could take the shot freehand, but I really wanna blow this guy's head clean off. For Wrex, of course; not because it's a challenge and good for my ego. A more stable shooting position guarantees that. Ooh, that looks like it'll work. A hell of a spot, though, isn't it?_

Shepard crawled over next to a red canister stamped all over with the galactic standard symbol for "explosive." The top of the canister was a flat ledge just wide enough for the barrel of his rifle. However, the canister was also only half a meter off the ground, which meant Shepard had some work to do in order to be able to use his newfound shooting bench. After a good thirty seconds of lying down, wiggling, scooching; while bending knees and elbows and feet along the way, Shepard had found a workable position to shoot from. Ignoring the pain in his legs, which were bent sideways and hooked into a bit of open space on a shelf, he centered himself inwards and prepared to fire.

After some unknown length of time, movement occurred in his field of view. Staring down his scope, Shepard saw the brown fringe of a turian begin to come into his field of view. As time seemed to slow down, more and more of the turian became visible. _Brown skin? Check. White face paint? Check. Height and build seem right. Green eyes? Bye bye motherfucker._ Looking into the pale green eyes of Tonn Actus, Shepard pulled the trigger.

The HMWSR with HE rounds was capable of blowing a 6-inch diameter hole through an inch-thick plate of wolfsteel. Wolfsteel was originally created by the turians for use in the main guns of their dreadnought, although it was not called "wolfsteel" at the time. Human scientists working on making a version of the durable metal for the Alliance started calling their results the "werewolf" alloy, since the atomic symbols of three of the main elements present in the alloy were tungsten (W), element zero (eezo, or E), and rhenium (Re). The "wolf" part of the name was added because asking "Where's the were metal?" led to a great many confusing conversations. As the project progressed, it was decided that listing four of the six elements (the other two being osmium and carbon) used in making the new material right in the name was incredibly stupid. As a result, the new alloy went into production as "wolfsteel."

Unfortunately for Tonn Actus, he was not hiding behind more than an inch of wolfsteel. The turian didn't even have his helmet on, so confident was he in the inviolate nature of his base. That would be his last mistake. The bullet Shepard fired impacted the turian between his mouth and his nose. In milliseconds, Tonn Actus's head was vaporized into a fine blue mist. For another second, the turian's body remained standing as though it intended to carry on with its business without anything above its shoulders. Then, like a marionette whose strings had been cut, it collapsed. A heartbeat later, all hell broke loose.

Shepard scrambled to free himself from his awkward shooting position, as he heard the thumping of boots and the yelling of men all converging on his position. With a grunt, he managed to get back to his feet and run towards the door where Kaidan and Wrex still stood, weapons at the ready. "Guys? Actus is down, but I don't think his employees are very happy with me. I'm bringing the party to you!" As he said this, he turned the corner and crossed the door's threshold. With an economy of movement, he collapsed his sniper rifle and replaced it on his back, and then pulled out his pistol. At the same time, Kaidan and Wrex opened up with their assault rifle and shotgun, respectively, forcing the enemy to abandon their pursuit of Shepard and dive for cover.

"Right then, let's finish them off." Shepard said with a grin.

* * *

"Oh for fuck's sake!" Shepard yelled out. "Kaidan! Stop using throws and lifts! You're helping them get to cover, which is kinda what we want to avoid."

It had been fifteen minutes since Shepard had atomized Tonn Actus's skull, and the trio had only managed to kill two of the dead turian's peons. Neither side could get a lock on their enemy for long enough to do much damage.

"Sorry, Commander." Kaidan replied. "I'm just used to those two attacks working."

"Well, you're a marine. Start acting like one!" Shepard yelled back. "Improvise, adapt, overcome. Isn't that supposed to be beaten into you during basic? Use your damn head!"

"Right. Maybe neural shock will work." Kaidan activated the attack on his omni-tool and watched as one of the pirates collapsed to the ground, writhing in pain. Jumping at the chance, Shepard and Kaidan both poured fire into the downed pirate, killing him.

"Good job, Kaidan." Shepard said, giving a thumbs up to his teammate. "Motion sensors indicate that there're five more baddies running around. Everybody switch to shotguns, we're gonna hunt them down one by one."

Wrex, who already had his shotgun out, nodded as he agreed with this course of action. Kaidan put away his AR and pulled out his shotgun, while Shepard reduced his pistol and opened up his own boomstick. "We're gonna run an inverted triangle. Wrex, you're to the right and the most forward. I'll be just behind you and to your left. Kaidan, you're between both of us and farthest back. Be ready with your barriers, and don't let your shields drop. Ready? Let's go."

The three moved out at a light jog, making for the closest red dot on their sensors. Within seconds they had reached the enemy, ran around the crate he was using for cover, and each member of the squad had fired twice. The pirate slumped to the ground, his left arm ripped off by a shotgun blast, and a large hole through his chest. "That looked painful." Shepard remarked with a cross between a grimace and a grin, and then the men of the Normandy headed off for their next target.

It had only taken another two minutes for Shepard and Co. to hunt down the remaining pirates and kill them. The last enemy had taken refuge at the top of the stairs, and attempted to take advantage of having the high ground. Much to the pirate's misfortune, he had failed to take into account the fact that Shepard had grenades. One quick toss later, and the downed turian was screaming in pain as his armor burned away and melted into his skin. As they walked by, Wrex lifted one massive foot and brought it down through the pirate's skull, giving the man a quick death.

At the top of the stairs, the group turned left towards what passed for Tonn Actus's vault. Halfway between the stairs and their goal, they encountered the ringleader's body. Shepard and Wrex both admired the kill from a professional perspective, and Shepard with more than a little pride. _God damn I love my rifle. She needs a name. I've only had her for two and a half weeks, but we've already racked up close to a hundred kills. She's __**earned**__ a name. But what could be good enough? It needs to be something powerful and deadly, yet full of grace and pride. Hmmm. Drusilla? Nah, doesn't sound strong enough. Darla? No, sounds too much like "darling," and I'm not creepy enough to give my gun a pet name. Artemis? That's not gender-specific enough; I know she was a goddess but I've heard of guys with the same name. Maybe Diana, the Roman version of Artemis? Closer, but still not quite there. Inara? Ooh, I like that. It sounds similar to Diana, but slightly more, I don't know, feminine? But it's still a strong name, has consonants in all the right places. Alright, Inara it is. I'll have to track down some paint when I get back onboard the Normandy and write it on my rifle. I know just where to put it, too. On the right side of the receiver, so that it isn't hidden by my body when I'm shooting. Alright, now that that pressing issue is solved, I should get back to helping out my man Wrex. Damn, I'm practically giddy at Inara's new name and the damage she did. That and I'm getting my usual post-battle dose of endorphins, leading to me being slightly giddy. And more than a little horny. Gods what I wouldn't give for a good fuck!_

Collecting himself, Shepard stepped over the dead turian and made for the vault. Twenty-three seconds of hacking later, the door slid open revealing shelves full of valuable upgrades and equipment, and a safe that was very nearly top-of-the-line.

"Kaidan, you start raiding the shelves. Everything that could be worth anything, I want it. When you're finished with that, go ahead and start working your way through the rest of the base. We'll join you when we're done. Wrex, let's see if we can't crack this bitch." When Shepard had finished speaking, Kaidan made for the nearest case of goodies and Shepard and Wrex walked together towards the safe.

"Wrex. I have a feeling your armor's in here, since it's the only place in the room that's big enough for it. I should be able to get this open, but it may take me a couple of minutes. Safecracking's not really something they teach in the Alliance. What I need you to do though is activate your omni-tool and watch the back of the safe, right where it joins the wall. If the safe starts drawing more electricity, let me know. That means that the onboard systems are trying to fight off an electronic intrusion, and it means I'm doing it right. Okay?"

The krogan nodded, and then the two men activated their omni-tools and set to work. The next three minutes passed in relative silence, which was only broken when Wrex would simply state, "Surge." Just after the 185th second, Shepard let out a triumphant yell.

"Got it! Ha ha, motherfucker! Take that bitches!" When Wrex looked at him askance, Shepard shrugged his shoulders. "Hey, it's not my fault. That was one of the harder things I've done lately. Maybe after I retire from the Alliance I'll start up a new career as a thief."

Wrex didn't respond, as he was too busy opening the safe. There, piled onto one of the lower shelves, was his family's armor. Shepard left the krogan to removing the armor at his own pace. Instead, the commander focused on cleaning out the rest of the safe. After a period of companionable silence, Wrex looked up at Shepard and spoke.

"This armor is so old, it's completely useless in battle."

_And converted from Wrex-speak into normal conversation, I'm pretty sure he meant to say "It's strange how such an ancient piece of technology can mean so much to us, even now."_ Shepard chortled at his translation of Wrex's statement, and then responded to the krogan. "Probably. But not all battles are won in the field."

At this, Wrex looked back down at the armor, which he had opened up and let hand towards the floor. "True. We both should make certain to remember that in the coming days."

_And if I'm not mistaken, that's pretty close to a "You're a good friend, Shepard. Thank you." Talking to Wrex is so much fun. Ha ha ha ha._ "We will, Wrex." _I'm pretty sure that's krogan for "You're welcome."_

Wrex looked up at Shepard, and an understanding passed between them. Each man knew what the other was really saying, and they respected each other for it. At length Shepard spoke again, and steered the conversation to less sentimental waters. "Let's go see what Kaidan found. Think we can sell Tonn Actus's armor as 'slightly used?'"

Wrex just laughed.


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter 37

"Hey Liara. You busy?" Shepard asked as he walked into the asari's combined lab/living quarters.

"I am. However, it is nothing that is extremely pressing. May I ask why?" She responded, turning around in her chair.

"Sure you can."

A long silence stretched between the two before Liara smiled demurely. "Quite funny, Commander. Why did you want to know if I was busy?"

Shepard chuckled. "We're twenty minutes out from Binthu. I'm not sure what Cerberus is up to this time, but I'd feel better having my scientist down on the ground with me. That, and Ash is still nursing a massive hankering for Cerberus blood after the whole Edolus thing. Thus, you two are my perfect team for this job. I just wanted to make sure that I wasn't pulling you away from any important research."

"Thank you for your concern, Commander. I am available for joining you on this mission, if you so desire."

"Great! Then come on." Shepard turned for the door and waved at Liara to follow him. As the two Normandy crewmembers made their way through the medical bay, Shepard spoke again. "Oh, and please can it with the 'Commander' crap. Friends don't call each other by their ranks; and we're friends, right Liara?" He finished this statement with his best attempt at the proverbial "puppy dog eyes."

Liara giggled quietly at his display, while a blush covered her scalp crests. _Goddess, does he even recognize how cute he looks like that? His depth of character is so impressive. At times, he is an utterly ruthless, "bastard," I believe is the proper word. Yet at other times, he is as gregarious and outgoing as anyone I've ever met. Times like now, for example. Or when I saw him spending time with Tali while on the Citadel. The natural dichotomy that makes up Shepard is exceptionally . . . intriguing. It's no wonder that both Ashley and I fantasize about being his._

"Uh, Liara? Knock-knock, anybody home?" Shepard said, waving his hand in front of Liara's face.

With a start, she snapped out of her trance. "Oh, my apologies, Co- Shepard."

"No prob. What were you thinking about, anyway? You seemed really into it."

"Erm." Liara felt her scalp heat up with another rush of blood. "Nothing important, really."

"Fair enough." Shepard shrugged as the elevator opened up onto the cargo hold. "I'll grab Ashley; you can start getting geared up. Meet you at the Mako."

The Spectre then walked over towards the weapons bench, where Ashley had her Breaker VIII AR broken down and was looking over each piece, checking for any spots that she may have missed during her weekly weapons check. "Hey Ash." He greeted her.

"Commander." Ashley turned around and snapped into a salute.

Shepard sighed, and answered her gesture with something that was a cross between a salute and a facepalm. "Look, Ash, I know you want to be all that you can be and whatnot, but you really don't need to salute me every time I come down here. I know we've had some differences of opinion about certain things on this cruise, but I'm not holding those times against you. Hell, if anything I respect you more because you're willing to stick to your guns. Now, if you had continued to just carry on without trying to look at the situation with a new pair of eyes; then, we might have had a problem. But as it stands, I think you're doing a helluva job with everything." Shepard grimaced at what he was about to say, but carried on anyway. "And at the risk of sounding like a patronizing ass, I'm proud of you. A lot of people probably would have just buckled under the pressure and given up. But you persevered, and you're on your way to becoming an amazing woman, Ash."

As Shepard spoke, Ashley's back straightened and her eyes filled with pride and gratitude. "Thanks, Skipper. It means a lot to hear you say that. But are you saying that I'm not already amazing?" She shot him a wink and at the same time put one hand on her hip, striking a provocative pose.

"I definitely did not say anything of the sort, Ash. Any guy with eyes can see that you look amazing; hell, I'd be surprised if you've gone a day on this boat without getting at least one covetous look. Luckily for all of us, we have the Alliance keeping us in line. But seriously, any guy worth actually getting involved with wouldn't be satisfied with just the outside wrappings. Nobody wants a bitchy party-liner underneath the exterior. No matter how good-looking that exterior is."

The marine narrowed her eyes at her commanding officer. _I am not a bitch! I'm just forceful in the way I express my opinions. Although I can see what he means. He's just saying that real men, like him, want a girl who can use her mind and broaden her horizons. That's probably what he means, that when I first came on the Normandy he wouldn't have dated me, but now the only thing keeping him in line is that fraternization is against Alliance regs. Damn it! I knew I shouldn't have replied flippantly when he asked me to kiss him that one time. It was too early in our relationship to expect him to know that I was joking. I just __**have**__ to figure out some way of showing him that it was a joke._ "Thanks, Skipper. You've given me a lot to think about. And no matter how amazing I turn out, a big part of it's down to you. Thanks for giving me that kick in the ass that I needed, Shepard." _That's good, Ash, tell him that you're already his._

Shepard shrugged his shoulders, completely missing the hidden subtext that Ashley was proving so adept at weaving. "No biggie. It's my job to look out for everybody onboard. Now get that Breaker back together and get kitted out. We're going down to Binthu, and we're gonna see if we can't catch us some Cerberus scumbags." _Cerberus scumbags. Sounds pretty good. Better than "Cerberus sissies" or "Cerberus shitholes," which I'm really glad I rejected. Ooh, Cerberus sycophants. That's a really good one. Yep, that's my new favorite. Mwah ha ha, prepare to meet your doom you sycophantic Cerberus scumbags! Yeah, combining them is definitely the best-sounding option of the lot. Oh shit, I should stop wasting time and actually do the Mako's pre-flight checks before we drop._

* * *

_Alright, this is the last base. Cerberus is seriously fucked up. Rachni? More of those creeper/husk things from Feros? Speaking of which, how the hell did Cerberus get those things here? I thought I killed them all before taking out the Thorian. Whatever. They die just as messily here as they did there. I wonder what it's gonna be in here? A coupla geth? Maybe a baby Reaper or something? Christ on crutches whoever's running Cerberus needs to get their head outta their ass and realize that some things are just better off dead._

As Shepard, Liara, and Ashley burst through the base doors, they came across yet another blank hallway. _Yep, looks like all three bases are standard-model pre-fabs. So boring! But at least it gives us all the intel we need about the interior layouts. Gotta love lazy criminals, they make life so damn easy._

The group stacked up again, and then entered the customary holding/greeting area. Seeing nothing antagonistic, the trio headed for the corridor that connected the anteroom to the main lab. Once they had reached the other end of that traversal, Shepard popped the door open and peeked inside. _Jesus. These guys are either extremely incompetent, or extremely overconfident. We've already taken down two bases, and nobody's running around fortifying security. So either they don't have a procedure in place for checking in with other bases (or it's a really shitty procedure), or they just think that nobody could possibly find them._

"Ok team. Looks like we've got about a half-dozen hostiles, judging by the motion scanners. That's not counting the three rachni in the middle." Ashley and Liara sent him exasperated looks upon receiving this piece of information. "Hey, don't look at me. I didn't put them there. At least they're inside a containment field like the last ones. I say we go in and get to cover ASAP. You two take the pillar right in front of the door, I'll move to the one to its right. Then we'll see if we can't get a bead on one baddie apiece. On my command, we go weapons hot. Questions?"

Both teammates shook their heads in the negative. "Alrighty then. We go on three. One . . . two . . . three!" The three members of the Normandy burst from their hiding spot and made for their designated cover positions. Once they reached their respective pillars, the team waited for shouting or gunfire, something that would indicate that the enemy had seen them. When nothing came, Shepard spoke up again. "Switch to snipers. As soon as you have a decent shot, let me know."

A few moments passed, and then, surprisingly, Liara was the first to respond. "I have a shot, Commander."

Shepard rolled his eyes at how Liara reverted to his formal rank, again. _Probably not the best time to call her out on it, I suppose. What with the impending firefight and all. Oh look, my target's bending over. Damn that's a fine ass. Too bad she works for Cerberus. What a waste._ Ashley's confirmation of a target a moment later ended any thoughts of compiling a full list of Cerberus's crimes, chief of which (in Shepard's mind, anyway) would have been recruiting hot women. "Cool. Fire on my mark." Like the preternatural calm that settles over everything before a violent cataclysm of nature, the moment before Shepard gave the order seemed to stretch out endlessly. Then, like the ethereally quiet straw that breaks the camel's back, Shepard's whispered command unleashed three tremendous blasts of sound and pain. "Mark."

At such close range, it was impossible for any of the three snipers to miss. Liara had gone for the traditional headshot, and a moment later three-quarters of her target's head disappeared. Ashley had been limited by her available sightlines, and so was forced to tear a large hole through her target's chest, directly where the heart used to be. Shepard's target was still bent over, so he took advantage and aimed at a much larger target than he was accustomed to. The high explosive round obliterated her torso and propelled the now-detached head across the room where it hit the wall with a sick-sounding "splunk." _Ouch. Gives new meaning to the phrase "taking it up the ass."_ Chuckling a little at his admittedly terrible pun, Shepard switched out his sniper rifle for his pistol and marched forward.

On the other side of the room, Liara and Ashley were very nearly mirroring their commander. Ashley had opted to use her shotgun, given the close-quarter nature of the combat to come. Liara had pulled out her pistol and was slightly behind the human woman; her biotics emitting a slight blue glow as she readied herself for the next phase of the fight.

One such enemy poked their head out from around the corner of a large piece of medical tech, and another leaned their head and shoulders out from behind cover. Both enemies were able to fire off a short three round burst from their assault rifles, which splattered harmlessly against Liara and Ashley's shields. Reacting with instincts honed by combat, Ashley leveled her shotgun at the Cerberus employee behind the medical machine, and the powerful Sokolov IX barked twice, reducing every part of the enemy that was not behind cover to nothing more than pulped meat. Liara was slightly slower in reacting, due to her lack of years of formal military training. Her attack, however, was no less deadly. With a push of her hand, the asari sent a large wave of biotic energy at her adversary, which, upon impact, sent the unfortunate man flying backwards until he met the immovable side of the shelter. His collision with the wall shattered most of the bones in his upper body, and resulted in several splinters of rib poking through his lungs. The unnamed Cerberus defender died choking on his own blood.

Across the room, Shepard's enemy had decided to charge the Normandy's commander, and made to get close enough for his shotgun to penetrate Shepard's robust armor and shields. Unfortunately for the Cerberus stooge, Shepard was ready with a sabotage tech attack. With his weapons reduced to nothing more than an overpriced club, the enemy combatant attempted to bash in the Spectre's brains. Once again, the human special ops veteran was more than capable of handling such a basic attack. Spike moved just enough for the overhanded blow to sail by his body, and then struck out with his own shotgun against his assailant's back, sending the other man to the floor. With a flash of movement Shepard dropped a knee into the downed enemy's back, drew his combat knife, and severed the man's spinal cord. That done, the N7 specialist stood up and walked around the corner to meet up with his team.

Once the trio had been reunited, they turned and looked at the containment field, which held three rachni. "So . . . How're we gonna deal with them?" Ashley asked.

Shepard grinned cheekily at her. "I recommend shooting them."

"Hardy har har, Skipper. Seriously?"

Shepard shrugged. "Okay, seriously, we're gonna shoot 'em. We'll take up position in a line off to the side of this console, I'll drop the shield, and then Liara lays down a singularity in the middle of them. Once they're in the air, you can use overkill on your omni-tool with your AR equipped, I'll do the same with my pistol, and we'll riddle the bastards full of holes. Then, purely for shits and giggles, if Liara feels like it she can detonate her gravity well with a warp attack."

"Ok then." Ashley said, looking slightly crestfallen at the ease with which Shepard had analyzed the situation and come up with such a simple yet effective plan. _And that's why he's in charge. If it were me, I would have just dropped the shield and then had us dodging rachni acid while we tried to take them down._

"Righty-ho. Everybody ready?" Shepard moved to the nearby console and checked for nods of affirmation from his team. Upon receiving confirmation that the ladies were, in fact, ready, he made quick work of Cerberus's security and released the containment field. As soon as the blue field disappeared, Liara had created a miniature black hole in the center of the three overgrown cockroaches. Within a second, both Shepard and Ashley had opened fire with their weapons, riddling the rachni with so many holes that the bodies had become more air than meat. Several seconds later, the singularity disappeared and the decimated carcasses fell to the ground.

Shepard looked over at Liara, quirking an eyebrow in silent question.

Liara just shrugged her shoulders, having no better reason for not detonating her singularity other than that she didn't feel like it.

Shepard shrugged his shoulders back, and moved forward to look at the body that was clearly visible behind the rachni remains. With a start, he realized who it was.

_Kahoku! Those fucking bastards! What kind of fucked up individual locks a person up with three rachni?_ As he got closer, Shepard knelt down to examine the body more closely. _Fuck! Those aren't rachni bites on his arm, those're fucking needle tracks! Who knows what these Cerberus pricks put him through before he died? Seeing this kinda shit, I can understand why most of the galaxy doesn't trust us. This is one of our own, one of our leaders! And a damn good 'un, at that. Damn it, days like these really make me hate my fucking job._

With a sigh, Shepard looked up at his companions. Liara's eyes were filled with tears at the sight of the Admiral's desecrated body. Ashley's face on the other hand was a rictus of righteous fury, and Shepard noticed that her hands were clenched in tight, shaking fists. _I'm pretty sure that Ash hates Cerberus more than ever now. Not that I blame her in the least. Those fuckers are gonna pay for this, some day._ "Look, you two don't need to be here right now. Go look around, see if you can find anything useful. I'll radio Joker and have him call the Alliance for a proper pick-up and burial. Now go."

While the girls went about scouring the base for useful tech and resources, Shepard stayed on one knee next to Kahoku's body. _This whole thing makes even less sense now! They had an Alliance Admiral hostage, who somehow managed to find them. Is it so hard to believe that somebody else maybe could have done the same? And even if not, they had a friggin' __**Alliance Admiral**__ as a __**hostage**__! Did it never occur to them that someone may decide to, oh I don't know, rescue him?! Sweet motherfucking gods, these people are the biggest fucking wastes of space I've ever seen. And I've met the Alliance beancounters! Fuck. No matter their level of general uselessness, they managed to get Kahoku. Sorry I wasn't faster, Admiral. R.I.P., sir._ "Joker? Get the Alliance on the horn. I've got some bad news."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter 38

A knock on his door pulled Shepard from his thoughts about the next mission. _Who the hell is bothering me now? I really need to spend the next few hours making sure I'm up to snuff on disarming nuclear devices. What in the name of all that's holy was the Alliance thinking when they sent out probes that were booby-trapped with nukes? Oh that's right, they weren't thinking. Dumbasses. I suppose those thoughts can wait a little longer. I should probably let whoever's outside my door come in now, though._

The door that was keeping Shepard's cabin private from the rest of the crew slid open to reveal Garrus, Tali, and Joker. _Ah fuck. Just because I no longer think that they're total asshats, doesn't mean I want to see them. Why are they here, now? Don't they realize that I have a mission to prep for? They probably want to try to grovel for my forgiveness. Hmm, that's got potential._ "Yes?" He looked up at them inquisitively. _I may not be able to shoo them away, but at least I can make it really fucking uncomfortable for them. Is it petty? Yes. Is it motivated by childish desires? Probably. Is it fun? Undeniably._

The three people standing in front of Shepard looked at one another in quiet panic, before Garrus took the lead. "Commander. We wanted to speak with you about what happened while we were docked at Arcturus Station."

"Go on." Shepard's face gave away no indication of what his feelings were. To his three shipmates, it was like gazing out into the inky blackness of space: unyielding and unknowable.

Joker spoke up this time. "Look, Commander, we know what we did was wrong. We had a hard time even deciding whether we should watch your back at all. In the end, we only did it because we care about you, and we didn't want to see something bad happen to you."

Tali took over the narrative. "Shepard, we've talked about how you are a warrior, possibly the best this galaxy has ever seen. But we've seen you get injured, and we know that sometimes other people can get lucky too. We need you, Shepard. We need you to guide us through this fight with Saren. Only you've seen the Prothean images, and only you have the cipher in your head. You're the last thing standing between freedom, and Saren's rule. If something happened to you, we'd be lost." _I'd be lost. I've come to rely on you more than anyone else in my life, Spike. We – I need you._ She added silently.

Shepard continued to sit there in silence. Slowly he passed his gaze over each of them, staring into their eyes as though he was trying to see the truth within their hearts. _Huh. That was pretty convincing. They even picked up where the other ones left off, almost as if they'd practiced it. But it didn't seem rehearsed for some reason. It didn't have that feel of, I dunno, stiffness, I guess, that most practiced speeches get. So does that mean they're telling the truth? Probably. Fuck, does this mean I have to forgive them? If they were honestly just trying to help, I can't really see how I can continue to hold this against them. The vindictive part of me is telling me to let them stew in their own juices for a while, but that part of me is decidedly in the minority. I mean look at them for crying out loud! Joker looks like somebody just popped all of his favorite blowup dolls, Garrus looks like his sister just eloped with Saren, and Tali- well, Tali's the worst of all. Her body posture is just so depressing. It looks like somebody cut all the strings that were holding her up, and now she's just folded up into herself. God, I wasn't even in the wrong in this situation and I still want to kick my own ass for making her feel that way. Fucking hell this is shitty._ "Fine."

As one, the three heads across from Shepard all popped up. He had to hold in his laughter, and fought to keep a smile from appearing on his face. "Listen up you three, because I'm only going to say this once. You've had your fuckup, and now it's over. That was your one big mistake that you're allowed. Fool me once, etc. I understand that you're worried that something will happen to me, because I feel the same way about you guys. Yes, even you, Joker." He added, when the pilot looked like he was about to interrupt. "Now I'm willing to forgive and forget, but you have to give me your word that you'll trust me when I say I know what I'm doing. I know I tend to be flippant about a lotta shit, but I am extraordinarily well-acquainted with my limits. So if I say I am doing something alone, or with one person, or hell, the entire crew, then that's the way it's gonna be. If you can't handle that, then I don't think that you can continue to be of use aboard the Normandy."

Silence reigned in the cabin as the three people who were formerly in Shepard's doghouse began to crawl their way out into the sunlight. "Oh, and one other thing." Three gazes locked onto his face with almost unnerving expressions of acquiescence. "I'm going to continue cycling the other two teams in and out of missions. Garrus and Tali, I'll probably still come to you for first dibs whenever we're expecting resistance from the geth, but otherwise, expect to see a fair amount of down time. Don't waste it, however. Hook up with the camera feeds while we're out, and watch how each team does things. Not only will it continue to give you more experience with my way of doing things, but it will also help you learn the strengths and weaknesses of your squadmates should the need for alternate pairings ever arise. The other two teams have already been doing this for a while, so you're a bit behind the eight ball. I expect you both to work hard to catch up." He leveled a stern look at both of them, and they nodded in acquiescence.

"Excellent. Garrus, Joker, you're dismissed. Tali, stick around. I have something else to say to you." _Oh Jesus, Spike, what'd you say that for? You don't have anything else planned for her. Shit, you didn't have anything planned for any of the three of them for the foreseeable future_ _before this meeting. You're a fucking junkie is what you are goddamn it. You've been without your Tali fix for almost a week now, and you're craving some bonding time with her. You are a pitiful, pitiful excuse for a man, Spike._ Ignoring his inner condemnation of his actions, Shepard got up from his chair and moved to his bed. As he sat down on the stiff mattress and leaned back against the wall, he motioned for Tali to take his recently vacated seat. After she sat down, they stared at each other for an indeterminate amount of time. Apparently, neither party was certain of how to say what they were feeling.

Since Shepard had asked her to stay, he decided to be the first one to speak. "So, Tali." _Brilliant opening line, Spike. I hate you sometimes._ "It's been a while since we talked. How've you been?" _Oh, that's even better. Rub in the fact that you couldn't stand to be around her for the last couple of weeks, after spending an entire week on the Citadel getting closer to her than anybody else on this boat. Are you trying to win the jackass of the year award?_

Tali sniffled quietly, trying to ignore how angry she had been at herself for driving Shepard away, and how sad she had been without his daily visits. "I've been . . . fine, Shepard."

_Ha. I'll bet you've been fine: freaked out, insecure, neurotic, and emotional. Judging from your body language, that fits you to a tee._ "I'm hurt, Tal." This drew a quiet sob from the quarian. _Oh nice going, asshole. If you're gonna make a joke about this shit, make it an obvious one. Have you taken complete leave of your senses?_ "Shit, I'm sorry. I meant; I'm hurt that you aren't calling me Spike anymore. I never woulda thought that a little tiff like this could have hurt our friendship quite so badly."

Tali looked up and her body tensed at Shepard's words. _Does he really mean we can still be friends? Even after I went behind his back, does he still trust me enough to want me to call him that?_ "I thought that you would be too angry at me to allow me to use your nickname anymore . . . Spike. You were so angry last time we talked, that I thought . . ." She trailed off, leaving Shepard to try to guess what she intended to say.

_You thought what, Tali? That I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore? That I'd kick you off the boat? That I'd tie you to my bed and lick whipped cream off of your most intimate parts until you begged for sweet release? Actually, that last one sounds pretty great. Too bad we don't have any whipped cream anywhere on this tin can. Note to self: pick up whipped cream on your next shore leave. No, wait, what? Okay, Spike, you need to calm the hell down right now. You're nursing a semi, and one of your crewmembers is sitting in your cabin. Get it together, goddamn it!_ "Of course I still want you to call me Spike, silly. So we had a fight. It happens. We're still friends. Or at least, I still want to be friends with you. I'd like to think that we've become quite close while we've been serving on the Normandy together, especially after that last week on the Citadel. I probably spent more time with you than the rest of the crew combined! It just felt like we were making a, connection, I guess. I dunno, maybe I was wrong."

Tali couldn't contain the joy that was rapidly making its way through her body, driving out her sadness. The sudden onslaught of positive emotion after a week of self-loathing and despair drove her breath away. "No, Spike! That's exactly the way I was feeling too. I've spent the last two weeks going over how much you've already done for me, and how much I like spending time with you. I mean, talking and getting to know you. It's like you picked the words and feelings right out of my head."

Shepard chuckled a little at that. _Good thing that doesn't work in the reverse. Unless you're into the bondage thing, in which case, please, read my mind, Tali!_ "Well, I can tell you that I'm not a mind reader, Tal. I was just trying to be honest with you about what I felt. So are we friends again?"

She nodded her head enthusiastically. "Of course!" _And I will never do something so stupid again in my life, I promise!_

"That's great, Tal. It means a lot to hear you say that. So can I get a hug, then? Maybe it's too soon for you, but-" He was suddenly cut off by a purple blur that slammed into him and forced him down onto the bed. Tali's arms were wrapped around him, squeezing him with every ounce of strength they possessed. _Cripes, I'd forgotten how strong she is. It can't be comfortable with me lying on her arms, but she doesn't seem to care, nor does she appear to intend to stop anytime soon. Oh well. May as well go with the flow._ Shepard reached up and wrapped his arms around Tali, once again marveling at the smoothness of her envirosuit. As he squeezed tighter, trying to match her hug's intensity, he managed to draw a small sigh from Tali as he forced a good portion of air from her lungs. _Ha! Two can play at the squeeze-you-'til-you-pop game!_ He thought triumphantly.

Not long after Shepard reciprocated Tali's actions, his libido kicked in and he realized just how attractive the quarian engineer was. A millisecond later, his body had redirected a large quantity of his blood to flow southwards. _Uh oh. It's one thing to be at half-mast when she's across the table, but quite another when she's laying on top of me. But oh what a feeling this is. I didn't think she was that gifted up top, but from the way her chest is pushing against mine, I was clearly selling Tali very short. Musta been paying too much attention to her ass. And good gods, what an ass. They should make a mold of that, and sell it as fine art. Michel-fucking-angelo couldn't carve a better rear end. You just know that it's soft and smooth, until she flexes her muscles and it becomes tight enough to bounce a quarter off of. I so want to grab a handful and just __**squeeze**__._

Taking his reptile brain's desires as a command, Shepard's hands started drifting lower on Tali's back seemingly of their own accord. _No! I cannot be playing grabass with one of my teammates, no matter how hot she is._ The hands stopped their southward trek._ Actually, fuck that. I don't care. Tali's incredibly sexy and she's lying on top of me. Game, set, and match._ Once again, Shepard's hands started working their way towards Tali's well-kept backyard. _No. Even if I ignore the fact that she's my crew, she's still underage according to her people. I think. She hasn't completed her Pilgrimage yet, which means she's not an adult. So no sex, until she's legal. Got it, Spike? If you're still interested in her, you can see about starting something after you defeat Saren. I'd put money on this just being a lustful infatuation brought about by close proximity of a hot female and too long without sex. And if it's not, then waiting until Saren's corpse has been dropkicked into the nearest sun makes sure that you both have the time to commit to a proper relationship. Wait, what the fuck? I just got out of a relationship (that failed spectacularly, by the way), and now I'm thinking about getting back into one? I must really be out of my mind. Although I'm pretty sure that having this little argument with myself about whether or not I should fuck Tali is pretty good evidence that I have, in fact, lost my marbles. At least all the thinking forced some of my blood to come back to my big brain, taking care of that "hard" problem I was having. Ugh, even my jokes are fucked up right now. Okay, now I need to pass of the weird movement of my hands. Fuck it; I'll just start rubbing her back. If she asks, it's a thing humans do when they're comfortable with each other. And if she doesn't, I'll still be having a good time._

Lying on top of Shepard, Tali was not struggling nearly as much with her inner demons. As soon as the commander had wrapped his arms around her torso, she had melted into a warm puddle of Tali-shaped goo. _This must be the greatest feeling in the universe. I don't understand how just being held by Spike can make me feel so warm and safe, and, and, and whole; but I do not care. I never want to leave his embrace._ So caught up in the tidal wave of positive emotions was she, Tali did not even realize the gradual hardening and then softening of Shepard's member underneath her.

When Shepard started rubbing her back with slow, halting movements, Tali was once again overcome by a compulsive need to be as close to Shepard as possible. The all-encompassing heat that had previously washed through the quarian's body suddenly became a burning firestorm that drove her body mad with pleasure and made every nerve in her body start to tingle. The small part of her brain that was still capable of logical thought realized that she had a bone to pick with her aunt. _This is too similar to what happened the last time I was in such close proximity to Shepard, back when he agreed to give me a copy of the geth data we recovered. By the Ancestors, all I got was a "don't worry." I am going to string Auntie up by her ankles and make her watch that ridiculous elcor production of "Hamlet" the next time I see her if she doesn't fully answer all of my questions. Bah. How could I not worry, when I can barely move because I'm too happy and content in Spike's arms?_

A sudden noise from the direction of the door forced the two to spring apart as though the other's touch was suddenly scalding. A quick look around showed that the room was still empty, causing Tali to tilt her head in confusion. Shepard, however, looked immediately to the intercom. A moment later, Joker's voice came from the built-in speaker.


End file.
